A relationship can be a wonderful thing. It can provide love, comfort, security, but if you’re not ready for it, a relationship can be damaging. Getting into one when you’re not ready always leads to a bad outcome. You break up over commitment issues or you resent the other person for trying to change you into something you’re not. Sounds terrible, but we still find ourselves in these situations. Why? There are many reasons women get stuck in relationships even when they aren’t ready, such as pressure from friends and family, obsession with having someone in their lives, giving into what society thinks women should do. Starting a relationship is a big decision and if you’re not ready, it can hold a lot of drama and frustration. If you’re wondering whether you’re ready for a relationship, here are 13 signs that might help.
13 You Absolutely Need A Man
It’s not just a thing you’d like to have in your life, it’s a necessity. You need a man like a cat needs a liter box. You’ve always envisioned yourself having the perfect guy who treats you right and can’t imagine anything else. Sure, you have great friends to lean on, a wonderful family you actually get along with, and a spectacular job that you rock at, but you feel there is something missing because you don’t have a man. And your life will never fully be complete until you find that special someone to share it with - even if he isn’t actually the right guy for you.
12 You’re Not Over Your Ex
We get it. Breakups are tough and sometimes they take forever to get over. Some might take months while others can take years. And it’s an awful feeling because all you really want to do is be done with the burden. While dating during this time can be okay, since you're going out meeting new people, and learning to enjoy someone else’s company again, getting into a relationship might not be the best option. Diving into something serious when you’re not completely over your ex can have you feeling guilty, sad, confused, and completely miserable, which isn’t fair to you or the new person involved.
11 Looking For Someone To Fix You
Do you feel broken from your last relationship and wish someone might come into your life, sweep you off your feet, and show you there is true love out there? Well, dream on. Looking for a person to fix you or your problems is a major no-no and is a big sign you’re not ready for a relationship. If you need to be fixed, you should be the one doing the fixing. Meaning, if you are still sad about your recent breakup, do something about it. Get rid of all his old photos or speak to a professional. The same goes for any other issues in your life. Upset about your parents recent divorce? Scared about losing your first big job? Don’t count on someone to help make it all better. You have to do that on your own first.
10 Spend Too Much Time Obsessing About a Relationship
If you are staying up late obsessing about getting into a relationship or spacing out at your desk wondering why you haven’t met Mr. RIght yet, you might be spending way too much time on the subject. Letting the rest of your life fade away in the dark because you are too busy focusing on getting into a relationship isn’t good for you or anyone around you. Friends will start to disappear, jobs will suffer, and family might grow annoyed. It’s so important to focus on yourself first before bringing someone new into your life, so you not only know who you are, but are proud of the person you’ve become.
9 You’re Unhappy With Yourself
Maybe you’re overweight or have a crappy job you can’t quit, and you’re feeling pretty down on yourself. When you’re feeling this low it’s really important to take care of yourself in order to grow, make a change and get out of this slump. Bringing a new person into your life when you feel this blue is not usually a good idea. You’re down, grumpy, and feel incredibly bad about yourself, so what makes you think someone else will make you feel any better? So what if they say you're gorgeous? You don’t feel that way so you won’t take the compliment seriously. You need to be happy with yourself before someone else can be happy with you.
8 You Want To Get Married...Like Now
So many women are completely focused on getting married that sometimes they lose sight at who they are marrying. Maybe the guy isn’t the perfect match for you. Perhaps he has different life goals and values that don’t match up to your own, but you don’t notice because you're too geared up for the big day. Sure, you should have your dream of getting married come true, but that doesn’t mean you should just settle for the first guy that smiles at you. Consider what you want in a life partner before saying “yes” to the dress. After all, you’ll be stuck with each other for a long time. Isn’t is a good idea to find out who he really is before you walk down the isle?
7 Too Busy Focusing On Your Own Life
Your friends call you Miss Independent because honestly, you can do everything and anything on your own. You’re working hard at your goals and stopping at nothing that gets in your way, including a nice guy who wants to start a new relationship. When you’re too busy focusing on you and your life, you might not have time for a relationship and that’s cool. It’s even cooler because you recognize it. You’re a busy gal on the go who wants to travel, learn a new language, go back to school, and get a better job before settling on a significant other. Kudos to you.
6 Morphing Into Someone You’re Not
So you just got into a relationship and you’ve already started changing to better suit your new squeeze. You hate skinny jeans and crop tops but are wearing them because your guy likes them, or you stopped taking your much-loved barre classes and began running with him instead because, well, he wanted you to. Yuck. If you’re with someone special, they should appreciate everything about you. Who cares if you guys like different things? That’s what makes you click in the first place. Opposites attract, remember? So why are you morphing into someone so close to him, you’ve become more like a twin rather than a girlfriend?
5 You’re Too Happy Dating
You may not be a serial dater, but you are someone who enjoys going out on dates and meeting new people. Getting locked down to just one person at this time doesn’t seem to fit your schedule. You like fussing with your hair and getting ready to knock your dates socks off with your killer bandage dress instead of wearing worn out sweatpants with your way-too-comfortable boyfriend. A girl like this is not ready to be in a relationship because she’s having way too much fun meeting a bunch of different guys and figuring out what she wants, so when the time does come to settle down, she’ll be ready.
4 Commitment Scares You
Instead of just being happy dating and meeting new people, you use dating as a crutch for what’s hidden underneath: the very thought of staying with one person scares the hell out of you. One body to sleep next to each night, one person to wake up with in the morning, one person to kiss, makes you stir crazy. Commitment might even freak you out because you are independent and eager to strive for success. You're worried that a relationship might get in your way, and by committing to a person, you might lose yourself and your goals, and that' something you can't have.
3 You’re Hungry For Your Career
You might not be scared to commit but you are too eager to succeed to have time for a relationship. You’ve gone through college, grad school, and now powering up the ladder at your job to be as successful as you’ve always wanted to be. You barely have time to see your friends and family, so how could you possibly have time to be in a relationship? Let alone meet someone to start something romantic. Your career is your main focus right now, and you feel that having someone in your life day in and day out will only hold you back from your big dreams.
2 You Have Yet To Grow
After countless failed relationships, you are still out searching for something new without taking the time to learn from the past. Instead of contemplating where and how things went wrong with the others in your life, you are strutting full force to get to someone new. We grow after every relationship, after every heartbreak and every broken heart we give. We learn what we want, who we want and how we want it. Each failed relationship allows us to grow as a person, but if we don’t take the time to let that marinate, we may never know who we really are and what we really want out of life...and our partner.
1 Feeling Pressured Into A Relationship
So you’ve hit that certain age bracket and now everyone is on you about getting into a relationship to eventually get married and have babies. Between your friends, family, and society telling you to find someone to settle down with, you feel pressured and frustrated. You may not be ready for anything serious yet, but are considering a relationship because it’s being beaten into your head that you have to. Feeling pressured to be with someone is not a valid reason to start a relationship. It won’t work and you’ll only end up resenting the other person for being there when you don’t really want them in the first place.