Not all friendships are meant to last, and some are just so toxic that they can’t even be called friendships. They are more like punishments we subject ourselves to in the hopes that someone will like us or think we are cool enough to tolerate for a few hours a week.
Sometimes friendships are simply doomed from the start, such as when one person is physically or verbally abusive to the other. Other times, friendships gradually become toxic. Bad feelings grow and, if not addressed out in the open, a person can start acting out in a negative way. Whatever the case, you need to decide whether or not the friendship is worth saving. Some friendships are, especially when they have gone on for some time and you feel that the friendship can be fixed. Some friendships should be dropped as gracefully as possible because they cannot be fixed.
This list of common signs that your friendship probably won't last points out the most common problems that can end a friendship. In some cases, the easiest way to put an end to a bad friendship is to just cease contact and become unavailable. No drama or fights are needed. Just simply walk away.
13 She Criticizes You Constantly
"OMG! Can't you get your own clothes to match? And what is it you are trying to do with your hair?" If this sounds like one of your friends, then it is time you take a better look at why you are sticking around. Unless you like the verbal abuse and constant criticism, when a friend starts to deliberately hurt your feelings, you need to end all contact with her. After all, a friendship built on verbal abuse will not last for long.
12 She Is Always Bailing On You
The two of you have plans to go see a movie, but at the last possible moment she texts you saying she has to cancel. It happens again and again. After a while, she doesn't even bother canceling and she just doesn't show up. When this starts happening, you have to ask yourself if this is a friendship worth keeping. After all, she does not respect your time and it just might be that she really doesn't like you, but doesn't know how to permanently end the friendship. Whatever the case, make a graceful exit and stop making plans to hang out with her.
11 You Have Significant Political Differences
I was brought up to never discuss politics or religion with people outside of the family, but I do have one acquaintance that just can't help herself. Every time we get together, she has to bring up politics. You see, we are opposites when it comes to politics. She swears she is right and I swear she is insane. Needless to say, we don't have a real friendship anymore. We just hang out with each other about once or twice a year. While I honestly believe that two people of opposite political beliefs can be great friends, it is rare to find people with the maturity to do so. In other words, if your friend is your political opposite, your friendship probably won't last.
10 There's A Lack Of Trust Between You Both
Do you trust your friend? Does she trust you? As in all healthy relationships, trust is an important part of the entire experience. If the two of you don't trust each other, the relationship will quickly turn bad and end. If you and your friend are experiencing trust issues, you can work together to build your trust in each other while creating an awesome relationship in the process. After all, you can't run away from all friendships if there is a good chance that the relationship can be fixed, and fixing a trust issue is well worth the extra effort.
9 She Tries To Control You
She calls you up and asks you what your plans are for the day. You tell her and then she demands that you cancel your plans and hang out with her. When you are together, she decides what the two of you will get for dinner, what movies to watch on Netflix, and then she will tell you that your pants look ugly on you and that you should wear a different style or color. It doesn't matter what you want, it will never be what she wants. This is because she wants to control you.
8 There Are Literal Smackdowns
Hitting is a huge no no in any type of relationship. If you or your friend start hitting the other then you can be certain that the friendship will not last much longer. Hitting can be a sign of frustration or a deep seated hatred towards another person. If you find that you are lashing out at your friend, you need to seek out help so that you can learn how to express yourself better and so that you can fix your behavior. If, on the other hand, your friend is smacking you, back off. You can't force her to get the help she needs, but you can put an end to the friendship before things get too dangerous.
7 One Of You Is Significantly Wealthier Than The Other
Be nice to all people, but try and choose friends who earn about the same amount as you do. When you break this simple rule, troubles can start. For example, if you choose a friend who doesn't earn as much as you do, she may start to expect you to pay her way for any activities you do together and to pay for her meals, clothing, tickets, etc. Reverse the situation and you start being friends with someone who makes far more than you do, and you may find that your wealthy friend likes to put you down because you can't buy the expensive things she can afford. She might start treating you like a servant or she will show off just to hurt your feelings. Only mature, secure people can maintain friendships that are outside of their typical income circles, and those people are rare.
6 She Hates Your Boyfriends
A jealous, insecure friend will consider anyone else in your life as a threat. She will either hate all of your boyfriends or she will try and flirt with them as proof that they aren't good enough for you. It will be the same when she is confronted with your other friends or even co-workers. She won't like any of them and will go out of her way to cause problems between you and the other people you know. When this happens, you will know right away that the two of you can no longer be friends. Exit the friendship quietly and simply become too busy to hang out with her. She will eventually let you go and move on to her next victim.
5 You Feel Mentally Drained After Hanging Out With Her
Psychic vampires are everywhere. You think you are going out to have some fun and your friend somehow manages to drain you of every bit of energy you ever had. She is full of drama, insecurities, and all she does is seek everyone's approval. Trying to make her happy is impossible and, honestly, it is not your job to be her full time emotional caretaker. By the end of the evening, all you want to do is head home and hit the bed for at least two days. If your friend is a psychic vampire, make a run for it. She will not get any better and she will continue to use you for as long as you let her.
4 She Tells You Other People’s Secrets
I do not like gossips and neither should you. Think about it. If your so called friend is telling you other people's secrets, who is to say that she isn't spreading gossip around about you too? Instead of listening to her put other people down with her personal, juicy tidbits, tell her point blank that you don't want to hear about other people's personal lives. She won't like it, but if you show her you are completely uninterested in what she has to say, she will stop. In the meantime, don't share any personal details about your life with her.
3 You Are Made To Feel Stupid
You do know that you are not stupid, right? If your friend treats you like you are a bit slow in the head, then she is suffering from low self-esteem. She obviously questions her own level of intelligence which is why she needs to poke fun at you. People who are intelligent and are aware and comfortable with their intelligence have zero need to put another person down. Instead, intelligent people know when to shut their mouths and when to help a friend along. That is the kind of friend you should have, not someone who is intellectually insecure.
2 She Gives You Mean Nicknames
When you are hanging out with your friend, does she suddenly come up with cruel nicknames for you and then laugh about it afterwards? When someone starts coming up with ugly nicknames for you, that usually signals that they are harboring some pretty mean thoughts about you. Don't laugh it off as part of her weird sense of humor. Instead, find a way to gracefully exit the situation and break off all contact with her. It is better to hang out with people that don't call you childish names than continue to remain in an abusive friendship.
1 She Breaks Your Possessions
Does your friend break your stuff? Does she borrow things and fail to return them, or if she does return them, are they in really bad condition? If your friend does not respect your stuff, then she certainly does not respect you. For instance, I briefly had a friend who would borrow stuff from me, but she never returned any of the items. One day, I called her up and pretty much demanded that she return a set of books she had borrowed. She told me to come get them. When I showed up, I found my books on her porch totally destroyed by water damage. It looked like she took them into the bathtub with her. I tried to get my other belongings back from her with zero luck and the friendship was completely over by that point.