There are obvious red flags that can pop up when you first start dating someone. However, they all have to do with the emotional part of the relationship, like if he’s going to be too clingy or if he’s going to be a cheater. However, instead of only keeping your eyes peeled for those obvious signs, you should also look out for sexual red flags that will tell you if your man is actually going to be good in bed. After all, a healthy sex life is a huge part of any long-lasting relationship.
Of course, it doesn’t matter if you’re planning on having a one-night stand or if you’re about to enter a serious relationship. Either way, it helps to know what you’re getting yourself into. If you discover that your man is bound to be an amazing lover, it'll be a relief. However, if you realize that he's bound to be awful, then you can leave him before you take your relationship to the next level. Or, if you don’t want to leave him, you'll at least be able to go into the situation knowing that you’re going to have to do some work if you want his skills to improve.
If you’re considering having sex with a certain someone, here are a few signs he’ll be awful in bed in order to help you finalize your decision.
The way a man kisses can tell you a lot about the way he’s going to behave in the bedroom. If he never gives you little pecks and always tries to stick his tongue down your throat as soon as you get close, then he’s probably going to move too quickly in the bedroom, too. Instead of engaging in a sufficient amount of foreplay, he’ll probably jump right to “the good stuff.” While a lack of foreplay won’t hamper a man from reaching his climax, it will certainly be troublesome for his partners, because women need to be warmed up if they want to have pain-free sex.
If a man is super shallow, then it could cause you to be insecure in the bedroom, because you’ll be wondering if he deems your body beautiful or not. Even if he’s not very judgmental of women, but he constantly checks his reflection in the mirror, you have a problem. If he’s obsessed with his appearance, he might freak out when you mess up the gel in his hair while you run your fingers through it, or when you rip his shirt while you’re trying to take it off. Unless you’re okay with having intercourse in front of a mirror, you should stay away from men who are overly obsessed with appearances.
If your man only cares about himself, then he’s not going to be good in the bedroom, because great sex requires both parties to put in effort. If he only cares about his pleasure, then you’re never going to have your needs fulfilled. In his mind, sex will be over as soon as he finishes. That’s why you should consider it a red flag if your man spends hours talking, but never listens when you add to the conversation. If he’s not going to pay attention to your words, then how will he pay attention to your body for long enough to learn what you like in bed?
The only time sex should be rushed is during the occasional quickie, because intercourse is more intimate and intense when things move slowly and steadily. If your man is always rushing to get from point A to point B without stopping to smell the roses, then he probably won’t be a master of sex. You want to be with someone who will enjoy every touch, smell, and taste that he experiences with you in the bedroom. If he’s more interested in the destination than the journey, then you probably won’t be happy with what he has in store for you.
There are men who never spend their weekends away from the couch. If you find out that your man is a part of that group, then he probably won’t impress you in bed. After all, sex requires a lot of movement and coordination. If he isn't active at all, then he probably won’t have a lot of stamina, which means that he won’t be able to engage in intercourse for long. Unless you agree to do most of the work, then he’ll tire himself out just when things are getting good.
If your man always pulls out his phone to check texts and emails during dinner dates, you can consider it a red flag. If he’s so attached to his electronics that he can’t go an hour without using them, then it’s going to be a problem in the bedroom. Even if he doesn’t stop mid-thrust in order to check his cell, he’ll probably keep the television on to watch his favorite shows while you’re making love. Plus, if his mind is always elsewhere, it’ll take him a long time to finish, because he won’t be able to concentrate on all the small touches and kisses that you’re giving him. A distracted lover is a bad lover.
Messy eaters aren’t all that attractive. If your man doesn’t mind it when juice drips down his chin and sauce stains his shirt, then he probably doesn’t have the best hygiene. Plus, if he is a messy eater, it means he doesn’t have any tactic when using his mouth. If you haven’t kissed him yet, then his eating habits can tell you a lot about the way he’ll use his lips and tongue with you. Although there’s nothing wrong with occasionally spilling his food, you should be concerned if he’s sloppy every single time he sits down for a meal.
If a man has bad hygiene, you’re not going to want to get too close to him emotionally or physically. If he doesn’t brush his teeth often enough, then you won’t want to smell his breath when you kiss. If he doesn’t shower often enough, you won’t want to touch his greasy hair or whiff his body odor, either. Any time that a man looks sloppy while his clothes are on, he’s going to look even dirtier when those clothes come off. Play it safe by avoiding hooking up with anyone who has bad hygiene, because you’ll be too busy worrying about germs to actually enjoy their company.
You should avoid sleeping with men who refuse to try new foods and go on dates in new places, because they probably won’t be all that spontaneous and adventurous in the bedroom. The first time you have sex with a man, it won’t matter if he’s a daredevil, because anything you do will feel fresh and exciting. However, if you end up staying with him for months or years, you’re going to become bored. The easiest way to spice up a bland sex life is by getting frisky in a new location or doing it at a different time of day, and if your man refuses to try new things, you'll never break out of your future rut.
A man who’s actually good in the bedroom won’t feel the need to brag about how amazing his moves are, because his actions will speak for him. Anyone who talks big is probably overcompensating in order to feel better about their skills. Even if he is as great as he says, do you really want to sleep with a man who tells the world about his conquests? It’s doubtful that you’ll be the exception, which means that all of his friends will find about how good you are in the bedroom. Whether he insults you or compliments you, those stories could hurt your reputation.
Pay attention to the way that a man walks, because it can actually tell you a lot about his behavior in the bedroom. If a man has a stiff walk, then he’s probably not the stud that you’ve been hoping he is. However, if he has a rhythmic walk, then he should be excellent in bed. After all, someone who walks with grace has better mobility, which means he’ll be able to control his body better in the bedroom. Plus, when someone walks with confidence, it means that that they’re comfortable with their body, which is always a plus when it comes to sex.
Intercourse is about more than what you two do with your bodies. It’s also about the emotional connection that you make with one another. If a man won’t look you in the eyes while you’re chatting during dinner, then he won’t look you in the eyes in the bedroom, either. It might not seem like a big deal, but locking eyes is actually one of the best ways to establish intimacy. If he’s too intimidated by you to look at you, then you should probably spend more time together, so he can become more comfortable around you. That way, when you finally have intercourse, it’ll be a more intimate experience.
If you’ve been on a dozen dates with him, but he just won’t make a move, then he probably won’t be all that great in the bedroom. If he can’t find the courage to kiss you, then it’s going to take him even longer to work up the courage to initiate intercourse with you. Even if you take the lead, he might hesitate to put his hands on you in risqué places. That means that you’re either going to have to order him around in the bedroom or settle for a subpar experience. If you like men who take control, then you should say goodbye to anyone who is too shy to kiss you after weeks of dating.