You think you’re ready for love, but the truth is –you’re not. And that’s ok, there’s nothing wrong with you, but there are some things you should be aware of if love is what you ultimately want. Wanting to fall in love and being prepared to fall in love are quite different. If you have tried and tried again and still come up short, then you might want to pay attention to the list below. With a bit of luck and positive vibes, you can find peace of mind. You may have a difficult time expressing yourself, which can hinder your chances of finding real love. You may have even felt strong emotions for someone but always seem to pull away. This article will help shed light on some of the possible reasons why you aren't able to really open up. Read on to find out some of the possible reasons why you can't seem to fall in love.
13 You’re Shy
This is not to say shy people don’t or can’t fall in love, but studies show that introverts have a difficult time coming out of their shells and opening up. If this rings true to you, try to find someone who respects your shyness and values your silence-is-golden motto. Opposites attract might not be the best model to follow for the introvert.
12 You’re Insecure
When you’re uncertain about who you are or what you want, it’s hard to pinpoint what you’re missing. It might be love, but it very well might be something else. Until you feel more confident in yourself and your needs, you will have a tough time falling for anyone. Uncertainty about anything is never any fun, teach yourself how to trust your instincts, this is why we have them.
11 You’ve Been Hurt Before
Since having your heart broken, you desperately seek a new love to help you get over your ex. This is reasonable, but you might want to stop calling it a new love –you can call it a rebound, but more than likely it will not be the relationship you desire. Until you can get over your ex, you will not be ready to fall in love again. So do all the things that will get you there –not only for love, but for yourself.
10 You Don’t Have Good Role Models
How can one know love if one has never seen it? Or perhaps the love seen was a love that should be unseen. We’ve been exposed to all types of relationships –some healthier than others, no doubt. But if you have parents who had a less than savory marriage, then you might be in danger of selecting inappropriate partners.
9 You Have Unrealistic Expectations
Movies give love a bad name. What do I mean by this? I mean that movies paint a picture of love that is not realistic and has women looking for something that doesn’t exist. We want the perfect guy with the perfect job and perfect body or perhaps we romanticize the broken man who needs saving –either way, we haven’t taken into consideration that love comes in all shapes and sizes with varying hues of emotions.
8 You’re Emotionally Detached
It could be from a past relationship or a childhood trauma, but you can’t seem to connect to people. If you struggle with creating bonds with people, even friends and family, you will also struggle with romantic bonds. In this case, you might want to seek professional help to try to uncover the root of the cause so that you can be a better you.
7 You Don’t Know What You Really Want
You go through phases. Girl, don’t we all. But you shift from wanting one type to another, from one drastic thing to another, etc. Until you can sit down and really know what you want from a partner, then you will continue to bounce around. Try to analyze what you need and not what you want in a partner, make a list, be discerning, and, more importantly, be patient.
6 You Don’t Know What Love Is
Love is a fickle thing. It's a thing we can’t quite name let alone explain. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t identify what love isn’t. Love is not abuse, it is not controlling or aggressive nor does it manipulate, dominate, or belittle. Watch for these signs. No matter what anyone tells you –this is not love, honey.
5 You Don’t Love Yourself
Loving yourself is the key to loving someone else. This means you must love you –the real you. If that means an imperfect nose or skinny legs or thick thighs or uneven breasts or thin lips –then girl, love all that about you. You are special and there is no one like you, until you can accept you for who you are, flaws and all, then you will not be able to love another. That is as real as it gets.
4 You Are Too Focused On Your Life
Whether you’re caught up in finding yourself, a new hobby, traveling, or a career –you might not have enough time to dedicate to a relationship. You can’t give your heart away when your heart is already attached to something. When you’re ready, life will open up a space where you can have some free time to cuddle, snuggle, and get your love on.
3 You’re With The Wrong Partner
You think that being in a relationship means love, but you’re wrong. Many relationships are tests or experiences that teach us about ourselves, what we want, what we don’t want, and how to handle a relationship. Don’t feel pressured to love the person you’re with –know that it could just be a moment of growth and nothing more. Enjoy it for what it’s worth.
2 You’re Not Ready
Even if you think you’re ready, life will let you know if you’re ready or not. Often times we think we’re ready when we’re not. And we haven’t considered the fact that just because we feel ready doesn’t mean we are, in fact, ready. Have you never done anything before its time and seen the disaster it became? Give yourself time, let things, like love, happen organically. You’ll thank me for it later.
1 You Don’t Want To Be In Love
Girl, if you don’t want love, then good for you. You might be on a spiritual journey, you might be trying to heal yourself, you might be selfish –all those are excellent reasons to not want to be in love. But you don’t get away so easily. Actually, I think you are in love –you’re in love with yourself. Now that’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.