They don't say break-ups are hard to do for no reason. They pretty much have a huge element of sucking whether you're the one breaking hearts or vice versa. Heck break-ups even suck when they're super casual and both people can accept that the relationship is over without being too dramatic. They're just weird.
That being said, breaking up is not the most terrible thing in the world. You successfully had a relationship even though it didn't work out, so you probably learned some stuff from the situation. And technically you have to break-up with everyone who isn't "the one" at some point right? So while they can be painful and awkward in the moment, there are some upsides to getting dumped.
13 You Clearly Weren't Meant To Be
In the moment, getting dumped can really suck, but think about it...if someone doesn't want to be with you then you shouldn't want to be with them either. It's not always so simple because rejection tends to feel bad even when it's not really personal, but they certainly can't all be the everlasting love of your life. And truly everyone deserves to be with someone who thinks they're awesome, and anyone who's breaking up with you isn't exactly making you feel awesome. Moving right along.
Even though getting dumped doesn't mean you're unloveable (by a longshot), it does usually mean there are some things to consider about your role in the relationship, and what you could do differently the next time. Even if he was treating you badly, maybe the lesson has something to do with setting better boundaries or realizing that you should dump him first and walk away from the wrong thing, instead of waiting for the relationship to completely fall apart.
11 Being Single Again
Hey being single isn't all bad. It's not going to last unless you really want it to, so enjoy it while you can. Sure there are great things about having a boyfriend, but for the time being, try to focus on what is so awesome about not having one. You're definitely not going to get in a fight with anyone tomorrow morning while you're trying to get ready for work. Go back to your old habits of eating messy food in bed and binge watching your girly shows while no one is around to harass you about it.
10 Dating Again
Getting out on the dating circuit again certainly has it's un-fun moments, but let's be honest, it can also be really interesting to meet new guys and be free to hook up with whoever you want. Generally you'll realize that other men possess qualities (or sex moves) that you didn't even know you were missing in your last relationship, which is great to know when you're considering opening a search for the next one. Plus getting back out there can reinforce that you're totally desirable despite the fact that someone just dumped you.
9 Girls' Night
No break-up is complete without a night out on the town with the ladies, even if ends with you crying at the bar which is always a possibility. Raw emotions plus alcohol does not always make for a mellow night, but hey, you get a free pass because you just got dumped. If you've been neglecting your girlfriends and spending time with your boyfriend, then this is the perfect opportunity to set things straight. Guys are cool, but clearly they come and go...your friendships should not.
8 It Can Be Humbling
No one likes to be put in their place, but you can't totally fault life for teaching arrogant people their lessons either. Maybe getting dumped means that you can empathize differently with your single friends now that you actually know what it feels like, which could lead to the strengthening of your friendships and other relationships outside of being a couple. No one wants you to feel bad after a break-up, but feeling like a human with real human emotions for a while can be strangely refreshing.
7 Getting To Know Yourself Again
Sometimes when you're with someone for a while, you end up spending a whole heck of a lot of time with them. That's all well and good, but it can also mean that you're spending less time with your number one...yourself. It's not that he was telling you how to live your life, but maybe you'll realize that some of your preferences could be refined. You loved hiking with him, but you actually prefer spin class more. If you were living together you now get to really think about what your ideal design aesthetic looks like, and do it.
6 More Time To Focus On What's Good For You
Now that you have an idea about what you really want to be doing with your time, you can make decisions that reflect your authenticity more clearly, which will make you more successful and more appealing to the right guy when he happens to come into your life. There are always elements of compromise in relationships, but when we're alone, we get to re-calibrate that and make sure we withhold a certain standard for ourselves from here on out. Maybe you have some new goals that you didn't totally realize until you had some time to sit down and think.
5 You Didn't Have To Be The Dumper
Sometimes breaking up with people is even worse than being broken up with. When you get dumped, you get to ask the questions instead of starting off by telling someone what you don't particularly love about them. You get to feel the grief is a heavy swoop which is sometimes easier than trying to hide it for weeks while you're getting the nerve to let someone go, like ripping off the band-aid. And unless you were a monster, you'll win some sympathy points with your mutual friends and have an excuse to accept their support.
4 Your Load Is Lightened
Out with the old and in with the new is a good saying for break-ups, figuratively and literally. Getting dumped is a good time to think about what you want to release from your life emotionally, and it's also a good time to literally clean up your apartment and get rid of stuff that doesn't make you happy anymore either. If you feel like you could lose a couple pounds maybe you'll even find solace at the gym working out some aggression on that treadmill and heal from the inside out.
3 Emotional Pain Can Be Good For Us
No one is ever thrilled to be sad (or angry, etc), but feeling those things for a period of time can actually be sort of good for us. Without those "negative" emotions we don't have anywhere to build our perspective from. Once you've been dumped or had your heartbroken, you will have a totally different appreciation for the next guy who comes along and treats you right. The important thing is to continue growing and be grateful for our experiences instead of getting bitter. With that intention literally nothing can stand in our way.
2 The Ball Is In Your Court
When you're the one getting dumped you have the freedom to suggest how things should go from here. You can storm out of the restaurant before the bill comes and never speak to him again, or you can decide that you would actually like to be friends with this person so that you guys can both continue to hang out with your mutual friends. Whoever gets dumped is seen to be in the more "vulnerable" position emotionally, and whether that's true or not, it gives you some leverage to do the break-up your way.
1 Forced Change
A lot of people find it easier to coast along than to make huge disruptive changes to their life when it isn't really necessary, so sometimes being forced to change is a really good thing. You might have stayed with that so-so guy forever when there's someone way better waiting for you. It's the same thing as getting fired from a fine job and being pushed to really figure out what you want to do with your life. When we're left with no choice but to change, we can end up making some pretty awesome progress.