Communication! For the most part, communication is the fix to any problem that has and can arise in a relationship. If lines of communication and the heart are both open, solutions will present themselves effortlessly. Whether the solution is how to work it out, or that it simply won't work out at all, the answer is there for the taking. Relationships are not a seamless free-flowing journey, they are a combination of ups and downs and a mix of the best and the worst times, which all require a different approach. A few of these "downs" however are hardly unique.

13 Who Pays for More

This is generally a problem earlier on in the relationship - starting at dating and carrying on until bank accounts become joined, or you at least have a solid foundation of what's fair based on salary and expectation. One may feel as if they are contributing more to dates and feel "used". The reality is, some people can afford to go out more than others.

So, if your salary far outweighs the other person's, it may be a conversation of how contribution is valued. A homemade dinner may not be taking the person out, but it should count towards their effort for a nice date. This should be discussed before resentment builds.

12 Developing Crushes on Other People

Monogamy is a rare thing in the animal kingdom, and humans have embraced it wholeheartedly - or at least they are trying pretty hard to. It is not to say that it is not a natural thing, or that it is wrong for us to force, it just takes a bit of effort not to have a wandering eye in some situations. After dating someone for a while and the spark of "you're perfect, I will never need anyone else ever again" starts to wear off, you may start to realize that other humans are quite attractive as well.

The solution here is to be subtle about it and acknowledge it. Nobody wants to hear that you have a crush, but saying "he is quite good looking" when asked, is a fair way to say you noticed without hiding anything or being untruthful. Plus, if you find someone attractive and still want to go home with your own boyfriend/husband at night, then you know you're set.

11 Dealing With a big ego

There will come times in the relationship when people succeed in other aspects of their life. Whether they get a promotion at work, are on a winning streak in their sport, or even just got a new haircut, people's egos will grow. This can effect a relationship negatively if that person feels that they are surpassing the other person in importance.

The best thing to do is to let the person know how you feel, and remind them that you are equals. Depending on the severity of it, you may need to bring up instances where things were equal or you yourself did well and did not rub it in. Not in a way that is at all putting them down, but in a "remember when I got my promotion and we had a nice celebratory dinner together?" sort of way. Just let them know that you are supporting them but will not be a door mat.

10 Three and Seven Year Itch

It's a real thing. After marriage, you start to get into a slump. Year three is the first big one, where you start to wonder what the next big step is. It has all been a string of advances until this point, and now you have had to really get to know each other. You have taken the time to sit and breathe and see exactly who that other person is, and some things may be surprising you. The seven year itch is this but to a deeper degree. You now know who this person is, and every little thing you love about them and all of the things that... well... you don't. This is the person you have committed a decent part of your life to and now you may be wondering... why?

Talk about it. It may hurt feelings because nobody wants to hear their loved one is unhappy, but it could be a simple fix. Maybe you are both just in a rut and a getaway is in order. Maybe you are both too focused on the kids or your careers and have not taken the time to focus on each other. Maybe the little things you dislike are easily changeable. It's worth bringing up, it may cause a fight, and it will hopefully help in the long run. Never blame. Always talk about how you feel, not what they have done.

9 Different Life Goals

Sparks flew. You both fell in love and thought "how did I get this amazing person to love me, they are so hot and sweet and wonderful!". It may have been all physical, it may have had to do with personality, and it may have been the whole package. Once everyone settles in, though, you may notice that your conversations of "where will we be in 5 years" are different. One might say "traveling and seeing the world", and the other says "but what about a house, dog, and kids?"

This is a serious conversation that should be spoken about very very early on in a relationship. It may be hard to start because people tend to shy away from being vulnerable and appearing too over-commited, but it's way worse later on. Talk about what your goals are, what you want in life, what you need to do, and see if they match. They may not match perfectly, but they could work around each other. Who is to say you can't travel till 35 and then have a baby and a white picket fence?

8 Toilet Paper Over/Under

Age old problem and not as simple as it may seem. While the argument itself may seem basic, it really could mean so much more. If someone is used to doing something one way and they move in with someone who does it another, it could be a bone of contention. Getting used to compromise and changing "how it's always been done" will be the challenge.

This may be the perfect time for a pros and cons list. For example, "over" may look nicer, but if you have dog, cat, or child that bats at it, you will lose a lot of toilet paper to their game. "Under" prevents that, but is not as convenient. What about how to load a dishwasher? What day to do chores? How long it's ok to leave dishes in the sink? All little things that you'll have to work out.

7 Technology

Technology is taking over human interaction, and this is even true for relationships. A couple can sit on the couch for hours "together" and not exchange one word. It could be a movie or it could be texting with friends. Fights can break out when one feels neglected or as though the device gets more quality time than they do. Not to mention, the jealousy of the person on the other end of the line.

Try having technology-free dinners, set a day aside every month where phones cannot be used, spend time enjoying each other's company and going for walks outside or for road trips. Make sure that the most important and most used way of communicating is verbally and not via text.

6 Switch it up

Some call it the glue to a relationship, others see it more as a bonus. Whatever your views, you should hope they are relatively lined up with your partner. After long enough, missionary may just not cut it - but how do you ask for more? The fear of rejection is real and asking for things that are out of the norm may seem too risky. But what is the alternative?

Take an evening, have a glass of wine if you need, and chat about what you actually like. Something you heard about and want to try, something you did once and want to try again, whatever it is that is on your mind, say it. You never know, maybe they are thinking the same thing. Most couples will oblige, even if it is not their favorite thing, to ensure that their partner's needs are met. That said, never do anything you are uncomfortable with - but there are always variations.

5 Debt

It can be crippling, both individually and as a couple. Depending on the kind of debt, fights can become serious issues. Is the debt yours as a couple that you wracked up with a house, travel, kids, etc? Or was it one person's brought into the relationship that will need to be paid off over time. Are you ok helping them pay it off? Are you ok picking up the slack while they pay it off? If you love them you will certainly try - but it can be grating on a relationship to have to deal with.

Before the bank accounts get joined, before you make any large purchases, sit down and discuss where you both are financially. Nobody likes talking about money, but being prepared can save the relationship. Set budgets and goals. There is nothing worse than resentment when you see your loved one, who you've been supporting, go off and buy themselves an expensive gift. Understandably you may be mad. Budgeting should not only include paying down debts and every day expenses, there should also be room for a little fun and splurge. Although it may take longer, you will both be happier in the end. So sit down and chat about what you are comfortable with.

4 Kids

Do you want them? Does he want them? Do you want them together? Is adoption an option? Who is good cop, who is bad cop? How are you going to raise them? Kids come with more questions than there seem to be answers, but as long as you are united you will succeed. The first is to ask if you are both on the same page when it comes to kids. Many people of Generation X, Y, and Z are opting to put kids on the back burner, or not have them at all. This was rarely a discussion our parents and grandparents had because it was just the "right" thing to do.

Now, though, you need to discuss your views up front so that you don't run into a major road block when the time actually comes. There is nothing worse than loving someone so much but having to break up because one wants kids and the other doesn't - except for one giving in and resenting their life later.

3 Financial Goals

This goes hand in hand with lifestyle goals... but on a more measurable level. One person may love to stay in and watch movies and play board games and save money for big excursions. The other may find it more fun to live day to day and go out for dinners and purchase new material goods when the feeling hits. These two lifestyles may contradict and lead to turmoil if left to continue.

Find a way to compromise, and create a budget that suits both lifestyles. Maybe only eat out two times a week, and save the money you would have spent the other three times in a piggy bank for a road trip. There are always ways to make things work if compromise is an option.

2 Honesty

This is on a variety of levels. If you are unhappy you need to tell them. If your eyes are wandering you need to talk about it. If you simply can't watch another episode of How it's Made then bring it up! Being honest with yourself and your partner will build a relationship on trust. So many people go through relationships scared to speak their truth because they do not want to shake things up. Well guess what, if you don't, the relationship will be shaken the moment something happens, and all of the other secrets are bound to come out. It may be hard in the moment, but with the right intentions, the best outcome will prevail.

1 Commitment

Commitment is scary! At what point do you say "we are exclusive", or "want to move in", or "marry me". These are all big steps, and with so many other options out there, it is hard to know if they are the ones you want to take with that particular person. Everyone has cold feet at one point in their relationship. The most important thing to do is acknowledge it and know that it is ok. Trying to ignore it and act like you are gliding through and could never ever possibly think about someone else in your life is simply ludicrous. This could be the next 50 years of your life! Of course you love them, and you probably would love to do this with them, but it is certainly still ok to take a step back and look at it all - invite them to do the same with you.

sources: rd.com, counseling.ufl.edu

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