Let's be honest, in our society, it's really easy to confuse regular behavior and narcissistic behavior (and that's not only because there are over one million selfies taken everyday). We live in a world where self-love is embraced and even supported- which is great! However, extreme narcissism is something a bit different. Extreme narcissism surpasses innocent "self-love" and goes above and beyond being self obsessed. It can be characterized as a lack of sympathy towards others and and can cause many problems in the lives of those who suffer from it. That's right, extreme narcissism is actually a personality disorder- not just a phase that someone goes through as a teenager. And, while society may be a contributing factor to this personality disorder, it's more than that- it may actually be genetic. Strange, right? To learn more, read below to find out 13 traits of extreme narcissists.
13 They're Constantly Pre-Occupied
Because extreme narcissism includes wanting or desiring a power to rule over the world, often times, people with narcissistic personality disorder spend copious amounts of time daydreaming about achieving just that. Some common aspects of these daydreams include finding their "ideal love," gaining success in either their personal or professional life, achieving brilliance, and/or having unlimited beauty. Unlike non-narcissistic daydreams, which are normally do-able and relatable, narcissitic daydreams are often unrealistic and fantastical. Additionally, those with narcissistic personality disorder may be more obsessive- spending many hours a day daydreaming.
12 They Exaggerate
People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to be excessive in every aspect of their lives. Therefore, their tendencies to brag or exaggerate are not surprising. They truly believe that their small achievements, if any, are larger and better than anyone else's. When they speak about their accomplishments to others, they brag about what they've done, the work they put in, and what they've gotten out of it. When they tell stories about things that have happened to them, they may embellish details to make it more exciting or interesting. While they're not complete liars, their version of the truth is certainly exaggerated.
11 They Hold Themselves On A Higher Playing Field
They think that ordinary people can't understand them. They're constantly putting themselves at a higher level than those around them, including people they spend a lot of time with. Often times, they believe that no one can understand them simply because no one is as smart as them, or because they're just that much more special. If something's not perfect, it's not good enough for them. When it comes to complaining, they won't hesitate. Even if they haven't accomplished anything great, they think if they're just as smart and just as worthy of recognition than those who have.
10 They Lack Sympathy
If you're going through a hard time, they don't feel for or with you. They don't take the time to walk in other people's shoes or try to understand what other people are going through. Why? Because it's just not as important at their own struggles or what they're dealing with in the moment. If you get in a fight with them, they may be hesitant to forgive you because they won't take time to see things from your point of view. This is why it's often times impossible to win an argument with a narcissist.
9 They Require Constant Admiration
Like a child, they constantly need to be patted on the back, adored, and complimented. If they're not, they'll most likely find a way to be or simply move on to another group of people that will focus completely on them. If the attention isn't on them in a group setting, they may throw a hissy fit, cause a problem, or manipulate the situation in an attempt to shift the focus to themselves. If they get a new haircut and you fail to notice, they may be deeply hurt and offended. They think they're the most important person in the room and expect everyone to feel the same way.
8 They're Arrogant
Once they believe something, they believe it forever. It's very hard to change a narcissist's opinion, even if they're wrong. They have skewed beliefs when it comes to the way they see the world. For example, they may think that every one is out to get them or simply that everyone's a narcissist, not just themselves (if they even think they're a narcissist). They're quick to talk about subjects they know nothing about and even faster to stop listening to other people's points of view. They don't spend any time trying to grasp ideas or concepts they don't understand, instead they assume they know it all.
7 They Come First
In any and every situation, they come first. Not only are their needs, desires, and wants more important than those around them, but they also fail to recognize that other people might have different needs, wants and desires. For example, if they're in a rush, they may cut to the front of the line or speed dangerously on the highway. They have no consideration for the people surrounding them making them hazardous to the wellbeing of those people. All that matters is that they're happy.
6 They're Envious
If someone else has something that they want, they're envious. However, not just normal, everyday envy, they're envious to the point that they'll do whatever it takes to get what that person has. They become almost obsessive. Their life and their decisions revolve around being better than the person they're jealous of. On the contrary, they believe that often times, people do things because they're jealous of them. For example, if one of their friends was angry at them, they may assume it's because their friend is jealous of them, not because of something they did.
5 They're Manipulative
Everything they do is calculated. They don't do things to make other people happy, they do things so they can get something in return. They manipulate every situation so that it benefits them and them alone. They never stop to think, "am I hurting someone by doing this?" If they do someone a favor, it's only so they can ask for a favor in the future. If they compliment someone, it's so the person will compliment them in return. Narcissistic behavior is always selfish. If it comes off as self-less, it's not without motive.
4 They Have An Immature Conscience
Narcissists play by their own rules. They think that rules and guidelines that other people follow aren't for them. They have skewed ideas of what's right and what's wrong. For example, they may believe it's all right if they cheat on their partner, but wrong if their partner cheats on them. They often times partake in risky behaviors. If they think they can get away with something, even if it's illegal or dangerous, they will. The only thing that would hold a narcissist back is the fear that their reputations might be damaged. However, in extreme cases (like it they have no idea that people think poorly of them), not even that will stop them.
3 They Don't Understand Jokes
As we stated earlier, narcissists have very little empathy towards other people or situations. This is why it's not surprising that it's hard for them to understand simple jokes or riddles. Often times, they won't be able to understand the context and affect of jokes because the situations are completely unrelizable to them. The sense of humor of a narcissist is typically sarcastic and if they tell jokes, they're usually bitter and mean. Additionally, the joke isn't really meant to make you laugh or cheer you up, it's probably for their own self-gain or so that they feel better about themselves.
2 They Work Hard For Different Reasons
Like people that don't have narcissistic personality disorder often work hard to achieve a goal, narcissists do the same thing. However, normal people try to reach their goals for various reasons. For example, they may just work to get a paycheck, for some sense of personal achievement, or even to gain success in the workplace. Generally speaking, normal people work hard because they want to make themselves and those around them happy. Narcissists on the other hand, are motivated to work because they want to achieve power, authority and adulation. Even if they're not passionate about something, they may spends hours and hours trying to achieve their goal just so they can prove to other people they've done it or get some sort of recognition.
1 They Have A Hard Time Relaxing
You've probably realized at this point that narcissists aren't the most easy going, straight forward people. Therefore, when you hang out with one, it's very hard to have a good time with them. Because they are unable to care about other people and often times even connect with other people, it's hard for them to enjoy being around anyone in general. Sure, they may be flirty, fun, and charismatic, but that's only so they feel good about themselves. If you try to reach out to them in an emotional or vulnerable way, they may retract out of fear. Even if you're not meaning to put pressure on them, they may think you are and therefore, close themselves off.