Perhaps you’ve seen a documentary or two on YouTube about the growing demand for mail-order brides. It’s not something new, by the way. The mail-order bride fetish can be traced back long before internet sites allowed for easy communication and purchase. It’s not hard to understand why some women from third-world countries would be enamored by a man, regardless of looks or age, from a first-world country. Men from first-world nations apparently signify opportunity and financial stability, much of which is not possible in the women’s native land. However, don’t get it twisted. There are horror stories of men being scammed by these seemingly innocent women or men taking advantage of the women’s vulnerability and willingness to do whatever it takes to escape.
While Russia is known to be a popular destination for men to indulge in their quest for love, a bride, or both, there are several countries that have been added to the list – like China, Africa, and most of Southeast Asia. Even in South America, there are companies popping up like hotcakes offering spicy, hot South American brides. Here are some stories that will leave you bewildered.
15 Hook, Line, And Sinker
“One time he wired her $10,000 so she could visit him while we were in South Korea. In a move that should have surprised no-one, she never showed up. He called her up, and she told him that her travel agent robbed her, and she couldn't make her flight, etc. So what does my coworker do? Over the Christmas break, he books himself a flight to Moscow, and tries to visit her at the address she told him she lived at. Surprise, surprise, she wasn't there. He spent a very lonely Christmas in Moscow by himself. When he came back to work, in between sobs, he told me this story. As the days passed, he got a hold of her again by phone and e-mail. She told him that her work had transferred her to a position in Chechnya, and that she would be in touch with him again soon. He never heard from her again.”
This story is pretty classic. Women have been known, just like men, to con people out of money. It’s the old bait ‘em and hook ‘em method. And believe it or not, this technique still works.
14 Wedding Plus Free Vacation Package, Please
“The worst one, in my opinion, was the lady with the kids who made her guy fly her to Bali to have a wedding, got married with a gown and everything, and then never spoke to him again. She basically just wanted a free vacation for herself and her kids. The worst part is that the dude got a warning e-mail and just ignored it.”
If a mail-order bride can get herself a wedding and a vacation out of the deal, then she’s good to go. She surely had gold digger tendencies. Using people to get what you want is not only cruel, it’s selfish and will come back to haunt you. Be careful what you do with other people’s money and hearts. Some things, such as karma, are not meant to be messed with.
13 All Does Not End Well That Starts Well
“I knew a Russian bride once who came here (the US) and married an American guy. She was a beautiful, young, intelligent woman. They got married, and after a few months her hubby started drinking and beating her. She didn't know anyone in this country, and lived in a battered woman's shelter at the risk of being deported, since staying married was a condition in her green card, at least in the beginning. So that mail order husband didn't work for her. Not sure what's going on with her now, I only met her briefly a decade ago. I know several young Russian women who live in this country, but don't ask about how they settled here. They tell me that there is a shortage of good husband candidates in Russia because of addictions, unemployment, and other issues. Not all mail-order brides are gold diggers, many just want to meet a nice guy to have family with or whatever.”
Talk about taking a dream and turning it into a nightmare. Surely, this woman couldn’t believe her bad luck when she landed on a guy similar to the men she saw back home. Not all that glitters is gold, and she found out the hard way, unfortunately.
12 Love On Company Credit
“One case was particularly memorable. A man was suing his former employer for wrongful termination. He was fired because his mail-order bride (a 23 year old, 10/10) was paid for through a personal account that gets a monthly business expense stipend. The argument was that it was a personal account, so what he does with his own money is no concern of the company. The company argued that he basically used a business expense allowance to, in part, buy a wife. Kinda hard to prove. They were basically firing him for buying a bride. I guess that was frowned upon in this particular company. They just needed a reason to fire the dude. I think the decision ended up being that the company was fined for firing him. Anyway, dude was 54, she was 23. So kinda weird right off the bat. He was a weird dude. Not super attractive. She was gorgeous. She did not speak English. It was part of my job to arrange so that a translator be present. Interesting situation. Don't know what happened to them after that. But I saw them several times over a couple weeks.”
This dude was so blinded by love and lust that he seriously put his mail-order bride on the company account. Talk about being bold. When people are desperate for love and affection, there’s almost nothing they won’t do to get it.
11 Heart Of Glass
“My dad’s friend married a mail-order from Lithuania. He said his friend was kind of a douche in general and from what he saw of them together, he assumed that his friend was pretty mean to her. A couple years into their marriage he got violently ill. The doctors couldn't figure it out, and he was in really bad shape. By this time, his wife had vanished, and he was out to die in the hospital. They were about to bring a priest and give him his last rites, but one of his friends' wife's mom (who just so happen to be from Brazil, looking for a way to get her citizenship) demanded that he be taken to a different hospital. The hospital was one of the best hospitals in the country, about 45 mins away from the one he was in. Someone suggested that he might have been poisoned, and the doctors at the new hospital immediately started checking to see if he had glass in his stomach. Turns out, she had been grinding up glass and putting it in his food for an estimated 2 years. They ended up saving his life, but they weren’t able to catch his mail-order wife.”
Women have been known to put poison and shards of glass in men’s food for centuries now. It was a way to slowly kill the guy, and usually the guy was not a good one (i.e. he was abusive or controlling). Just because this sounds like stuff from yesteryear doesn’t mean it can’t be stuff of today. So, watch what you eat, folks. Be very cautious, indeed.
10 Keep It In The Family
“I know women who've done this, wherein once she gets her citizenship, yeah, she's leaving. However, all the women I know who've done this went and found one of her female cousins or relatives from the homeland to set her up with the ex. Now, he has a new woman to be married to again until she gets her citizenship. It's a sorta win win scenario for everyone, as long as the guy isn't really hoping the woman really loves him for him.”
Here’s another tactic that works for men who are equal parts gullible and lonely. The sad truth is that many men are fooled by the beauty of these women and go to great lengths to have someone so attractive nearby. Of course, if these men were smart, they’d look for character over attractiveness, but then again, that’s why men are men –some of them are gullible enough to fall for these tricks every single time. Wise up a little bit, guys, come on.
9 Your Package Has Arrived
“Back in the 90s, we had a friend of the family move to Kyoto, Japan to teach English (from the US). He was over there for several years before loneliness started to set in. So, he sent for a mail-order-Chinese bride. She showed up at his doorstep, took one look at him and turned around and left. She refused to marry a non-Asian. It didn't work out so well for him. He did manage to get a refund.”
Apparently, back in the day, the bride would actually show up at the door. And this would be the first time the parties would see each other face to face. It seems bizarre, but I assure you that this isn't too far fetched. Men have searched far and wide for love and have gone to the strangest lengths to find a suitable bride. But little do they know that real love doesn’t work that way. It’s not a purchase one makes, it’s a feeling one let’s blossom. In other words, you get what you pay for, and, since love doesn’t cost a thing, all that money is wasted in vain.
8 What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
"My parents have a friend who currently has one. She's been here for many years now and apparently she gets really angry. I don't know the guy personally, so I can't comment on what it would be like to live with him. But she's smashed stuff and thrown things many times.
What's worse is that he's a gunsmith and avid hunter. He took her hunting one time a few years back, and they started arguing. Because he's very an*l about gun safety, he never loads the guns until he is ready to shoot. Apparently, she raised the gun to him and pulled the trigger. She intended to kill him.
They're still together though, and he's still alive. So I guess they worked it out.”
Talk about moving on. There are people who believe that if a couple survives attempted murder, then they will be together forever, and the incident fortifies their bonds. While that may be true, still it is just. Way. Too. Much.
7 Patience Is A Virtue
“Two women at my gym are mail-order brides. One is 30 and married to a nerdy looking 45 year old guy. They seem happy, and she appears to care about him. The second one is straight in it for the business. She is 30, and married to a 75-80 year old guy. She has literally said to me ‘When he dies, my life will start.’ She is quite attractive but doesn't give the guys at the gym any attention. Makes me think the old guy has a pretty tight pre-nup."
Some women know exactly what they’re getting into. It’s nothing emotional or physical. It’s all a mental waiting game. Some women can handle a situation like that because they are so attached to having a better life, financial security, and luxuries that this exchange makes sense to them. Others can’t fathom waiting so long to reap the benefits. To each their own, I suppose. But there is something to be said about tenacity and patience here. In the end, will the wait be worth it? Will all that time wasted waiting and investing be worth the pay off? Only the woman involved can answer that question.
6 Beware Of The Fine Line
“I'm not sure this is a mail-order bride story, so much as it is a human trafficking story. My dad started talking with a woman in Vietnam over the Internet, and they became relatively close. Of course, this woman never talked to him without another man present, even over the phone. He sent over thousands of dollars to this guy, and the phone conversations I would hear from him sounded like hostage negotiations to me, about them needing more money to ‘free her up’, and, I shit you not, I swear I heard him arrange for her ‘release’ at one point. Eventually, she gets shipped over here. She is in his life for maybe a month before she disappears. I have a crisp, 100 dollar bill from Albert Einstein himself that says she was kidnapped and shipped back to Vietnam, because of a missed ‘payment’. It was shady as sh*t, and even though I was too young to be involved in it, I still knew it didn't feel right. Human trafficking is prevalent in the mail-order business. Real people are getting hurt here. Please keep these things in mind when looking for love.”
This story needs to be told because it’s a reality. Human trafficking happens, and it happens more often than you know and closer to home than you realize. These stories happen in our own backyards. Women are victims too often, and many times their entire lives are spent in destitution and slavery. If you hear or see of any suspicious behavior related to sex work, mail-order brides, or human trafficking, speak up.
5 Traded In For The Younger Model
“My dad's best friend went down to Colombia to meet his mail-order bride, and wound up marrying the daughter. She wasn't bad looking, about a 6 or so. He was pushing 60, divorced, cheap, and lived in a cabin up in Northern NH. She brought her son. Within a few years, she got her accounting certification, divorced him, and now does fairly well for herself. Basically, he got a little greedy. She was in her 30's with much of her life ahead of her. Had he gone for someone closer to his own age, they'd probably still be married.”
This is what happens when you get greedy. This man wanted more than he bargained for, and that’s exactly what he got. By tossing the mother aside and going for the daughter, he got exactly what he deserved. The daughter was surely sad for her mother’s emotional state, but no doubt she sent her mother money from abroad. Now, the two are probably laughing at what a dumb cluck that man was.
4 Upgrade Yo' Self
“A former high school teacher of mine married a mail-order bride from Vietnam. He met her on a website and conversed for a few months, then went over there to meet her family and brought her back to Canada to marry her. He was a bit of a creepy looking guy who didn't have much luck with the ladies, but all I've heard through the grapevine is that she left him as soon as she became a Canadian citizen. She divorced him, took half his sh*t, and went to school to become a beautician. As far as I know, he still pays her alimony even though she co-owns a beauty parlor and makes (probably) more than he does.”
This woman was not messing around. It seems as though from day one she had everything orchestrated. And somehow everything worked according to plan or better. Now she’s resting easy and has moved up the socio-economic ladder. No doubt, she’s the jewel of her family’s eye. She invested in a marriage in order to invest in herself. That alone deserves some credit.
3 GTFO, Like, NOW
“I was responsible for her financial situation. Things ultimately didn't work out (she got pregnant with some other guys kid). The pressure of imagining myself having to support her and some other guys kid drove me to fantasizing about murder. Finally, I decided I needed to force her to go back home. I told her that I had called I.C.E., and they were going to be arriving in 24 hours if she was still in the U.S. Then I told her I would put enough money in her account to help her get back on her feet in her country and handed her a plane ticket. Two days later, I got a phone call from her home country - put some money in her account, and haven't seen her since. (Re: murder - I never actually touched her or threatened her, but the idea had become tempting enough that I knew things had to change immediately.)”
When mail-order brides get shady, boy oh boy, do they get shady. She drove this guy so mad that he was even considering committing a horrific crime. Luckily for him, he was smart enough to devise a clever plan that would remove her from his life, hopefully forever.
2 Scream Fest
“Guy in my social circle years ago was very creepy and weird. He eventually got a mail-order Russian bride. They had a few tiny children, and she let her true self shine. Turns out she was an alcoholic and had mental issues. She use to physically abuse him. I think he even had to throw her out for the sake of the kids. Haven't heard much beyond that. I think the kids are in high school now. I hope he can get them through college. He was so weird that he was probably one of those middle aged programmers who lost work in 2009 and will still not find a job.”
There are women out there crazy enough to get the man, but not sane enough to keep him. This is a familiar story, but not often told to the public. Men are victims, too, and their stories need to be told. Who knows the woman’s background, who knows what she went through, but apparently things were rough enough to lead to the inability to control herself, and the situation let to her downfall. The saddest part is that the children will suffer. No one talks much about the children in these mail-order bride situations. But ultimately, all involved suffer.
1 Cold-Hearted Snake
“I married a woman from the Czech Republic who was here on a work permit. Our marriage was pretty good for the first year, but things changed when she went home to visit for six weeks. She came home and was a total bitch to me for a solid month. She kept telling me that she was missing her family. Then one day, I came home from work and my place was cleaned out along with all our bank accounts. I called her cell and she answered, telling me that she had reconnected with an old boyfriend while visiting her family and was never coming back. From what her aunt, who I am still on good terms with, told me, the first thing she did when she got home was buy her new man a brand new car. I hear now that the money has run out and they live on whatever is the Czech version of welfare because her man thinks he is too good for a day job and is going to be a model.”
Some women give zero f*#$s about people’s feelings and are only looking to satisfy themselves. This story is not the only one of its kind, and sadly this happens more often than not to unsuspecting men. This doesn’t have to be a mail-order bride situation, but it has the trappings of a con-artist written all over it.