The exciting boyfriend move in. Sorting through all your belongings, de-cluttering your life and taking that next step with your man can make you feel as though all is right with the world. Being in love and the exhilaration of what’s ahead can be intoxicating. However, we all know most good intoxications are followed by a debilitating hangover. In this case, the move in "hangover" is the realization that there are quite a few habits that you’ll want to hide, or kiss goodbye to altogether.
This doesn’t mean changing who you are for your significant other, and he must realize by now that you don’t wake up hair and makeup ready. He just may not be familiar with all the crazy habits women actually have, and it’s probably better to slowly introduce it to him, rather than hit him hard the first week. When in doubt, just remember that some things are better left a mystery.
Cleaning hair out of a shower drain is one of the most disgusting things in the world. If you’re anything like me, then you’ve definitely balled your shed hair up and stuck it to the shower wall to dispose of later. However, sometimes that later never comes. Hey, we get busy, and once we are out of the shower, it’s easy to forget. But oh how suddenly we remember when the next day we step in and staring at us is a mass of now semi wet/dry hair partially clinging to the wall ready to fall and clog the drain any second. Better to not leave this for your man to dispose of.
That time of the month can be rough, especially the first couple days. Your man should understand that it’s out of our control! Sometimes we just need to cry. Sometimes we need to cry while eating cookie dough straight out of the package and wait for the storm to pass. This is perfectly acceptable behavior. Just make sure this doesn’t become a norm in the household otherwise you won’t be the only one dreading that time of the month. I know it’s difficult, but try to direct that pain at the cookie dough and not your man. While living on your own you could hide from the world if you chose to but now you’re sharing space. Just keep in mind, it’s not our fault, but it isn’t his either.
Going along with our monthly visits, remember that now you aren’t the only one living there. Stashing tampons in the medicine cabinet, bathroom drawers, toothbrush holder, nightstand, and under the sink isn’t the best use of space. Make sure there are some feminine free areas for his belongings as well. Thin tampons, slick colored tampons, panty liners, overnight pads, extra absorbent tampons, scented active liners…there’s a product for every situation you could possibly imagine. While all this can come with the territory, it’s best not to constantly remind him of this fact but decorating your bathroom with said products.
Of course you need to use the bathroom. Fact of life. We all know it, understand it, but that doesn’t mean we need to be aware of exactly what our partner is doing. Gone are the days when you could guilt free sit on the toilet for 45 minutes with your latest trendy magazine and go about your business. With each passing minute you become more and more anxious of how long you’ve been gone and instead of relaxing to do what you got to do, you clam up. You obviously can’t get rid of this habit, but with time, you can at least get more comfortable.
While it’s tempting to work on that gnarly forming zit on your forehead, it’s better to let sleeping dogs lie. Not only can popping pimples leave scars, it is definitely not on anyone’s list of sexy turn ons. This goes for any sort of facial up keep, really. Tweezing chin hair, zapping zits, and working to minimize pores all fall under the "keep it to yourself" category. While you want to get comfortable with your partner and hope they take you as is, try to keep an air of mystery as well. Certain things take time to work up to, and this is definitely one of those things.
Moving in together means you get to share a bed every night! The downside? You have to share a bed every night. Cuddling, drifting off to sleep in your lover’s arms is all good and dandy, but when the going gets tough, can you hang? Pulling up the sheet so it covers your feet and part of your pillow so it stays cool throughout the night, while simultaneously wrapping your body with the comforter, leaving one arm out for body ventilation with the ceiling fan on full blast may be a thing of the past. It’s time to learn how to share. If you want to be toasty warm, yet still have the fan on, then you’re going to have to give up some of those blankets.
Don’t act like you don’t do this. It’s late at night, the television is on but you’re not really paying attention, scrolling through your news feed and you think, hey, why not? Just type his name in the search bar and take a peak. No harm no foul. You don’t want him back. In fact, you haven’t thought about him in two years. It doesn’t change the fact that we will look just because we can, or are bored. However, this behavior can definitely be misconstrued so it’s better to say goodbye for good and focus on the positive relationship at hand.
Saturday rolls around and as tempting as it is, try to break the habit of celebrating the weekend by watching 7 straight hours of Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce on Netflix. Being in a relationship is all about compromise. You most certainly still need your guilty pleasures, but make sure the television isn’t getting all of your weekend attention. No one wants to see how many episodes of Prison Break they can get through in a day more than I do, but remind yourself that the best relationships are the ones where you find a new show you can binge watch together.
When you lived alone it was easy to decide to try a new diet. And when you do something, you go all the way. 5-day smoothie only detox? Done. Gone are the days however that you could pick out the latest and greatest fad and throw out all forbidden food. Remember, your man has to eat to and just because you’ve decided to try a non-fat vegan gluten free no carb diet, doesn’t mean he wants to as well. Sure, go ahead and give him the option, but be prepared for him to be your life partner, not diet partner.
Remember those first few date jitters? Date at eight? That means start getting ready at 5. By the time the shower, hair, makeup, and outfit is put together you’re running late. It’s great to show him you are still excited by your relationship and looking forward to a night out, but you might want to nix calling your girlfriends over to help pick out what shoes to wear. And he is not your live in girlfriend. He doesn’t want to give his opinion on every pair of earrings you own, but he will. Remember how much you hate to be kept waiting for anything, let alone food and limit it to only a few outfit changes needing his opinion. Decisiveness can be sexy.
Gone are the days when you knew you’d be wearing pants all week which meant you didn’t have to shave your legs until Saturday. In the immediate days following the move in, we all want to show the best versions of ourselves. We can’t help it, it’s like a "look how normal I am, this will totally work in the long run" charade. We are all guilty. One of these mini lies is acting like you are naturally hair free. You’ll end up cranking the heat so you don’t get goose bumps after getting out of the shower and if you do skip a shave day then you will go to great lengths to avoid any intimate contact. If you want him clean-shaven, be prepared to do the same. Sweatpants don’t mind the stubble, but your man might.
Yes, we all want to save a little money, but let’s think about the price we really pay when undergoing at home waxing. Is walking around with hot wax and a strip of cloth stuck to some unholy part of your body while giving yourself a pep talk to just suck it up and pull, really the best thing for your relationship? Or making yourself a snack while you let the mustache hair bleach set in? We can go to extremes for the looks we want to achieve, but better to keep these treatments confined to the bathroom…with the door locked.
Letting one slip when you’re home alone on the couch is no big deal. However, shacking up with someone means things have changed. Go in with the mindset: if it’s okay for you to do it, it’s okay for him to do it. Romance goes out the window with you and your partner when it becomes okay to let one rip. There are two stages in a relationship. The time before you farted in front of each other, and the time after. Ride stage one for as far and as long as you can. You’ll have plenty of time for uncontrolled flatulence when you’re older.