Does the idea of being in a long-term relationship make you sick to the stomach? Are you uncertain if this is really true love or are you afraid of commitment? We have all experienced relationship fears at some point in our lives. Some of these fears are well grounded, but many of them are just us over-worrying about stupid stuff. It could be that we are getting mixed signals from our partners or that we are just overthinking the whole situation. Whatever the case may be, we can find ourselves paralyzed while in the midst of a good, long-term relationship.
First, we need to stop being afraid of things that haven't happened yet and things that probably won't happen, even if they happened in past relationships. We need to let go of the past and all the bad things that went on so that we can move forward in a new relationship. Love like you have never loved before, is the saying.
Healthy relationships are one of life's greatest joys. You and your partner deserve the best that life has to offer, so if you are having any doubts, face them now before devoting the rest of your life to your partner.
13 Giving Up Friends
For many women, being in a relationship usually means that she is going to have to give up on hanging out with her friends. They believe that the men in their lives are going to demand all their time and not let them have time on their own. That is far from the case if you start off your relationship giving him time for his friends and you time for your friends. Having and keeping friends outside of a relationship is healthy and will give you both plenty of things to talk about when you are together.
12 He Will Eventually Cheat On Me
This is a huge fear that many people have to face when entering into a new relationship. Will the other person cheat on me or will I cheat on him? First off, if he is a mature, honest person, he will not cheat on you. You have to trust him, otherwise the relationship will never be able to grow. Second, if you are worried about cheating on him, you will need to do some serious soul searching to discover why you would even consider cheating on another person. In the end, people will either cheat or they won't cheat. There is nothing you can do to prevent someone from cheating on you when faced with temptation other than to give him the trust that he deserves right now. If he breaks your trust, that is on him and not you.
11 What If He Isn’t “The One”?
A part of you really wants to commit to this guy, but another part of you has its doubts. What if he really isn't the one? What if there is some other guy out there that is supposed to be your forever soul mate? Everyone experiences a moment or two of doubt in a relationship, but ending a relationship simply because you think there might be someone else out there for you is ridiculous. All healthy relationships can be built upon and be made into a stronger bond. If the guy you are with is fantastic in all other ways, the problem resides with you. Search your feelings and make yourself work on the relationship you are already in. If you think it needs to be something more, then work on making it your dream relationship instead of kicking a great guy to the curb.
10 I’m Not Pretty Enough For Him
What if I am not pretty enough or slender enough for him? What if he starts looking for someone better looking than me? Believe me when I say that good looks are about 80 percent attitude, 15 percent hygiene, and 5 percent actual looks. At least that is how it is with most normal, well adjusted people. We are attracted to a person's personality and their self esteem first. It is what gets us to look a little closer at another person, and that is what he did with you. He took a closer look and decided that he actually likes you. Accept it and move forward. You've already got the man. Now you just need to keep up your confidence.
9 He Is Only Interested In Me Because I Have My Own Place
It does happen. Sometimes people get into a relationship to use the other person. It can be for access to a car, for a place to live, for a job promotion, or for financial support. Not too long ago, men largely held these fears against women, but now that women are educated and earning their own money, some loafers have come out of their mother's basements to use them. Not all men are like this and it is not a legitimate reason to stay out of relationships. However, if you feel that your significant other is just using you, you need to have a serious conversation with him explaining how you feel. If things don't change, end the relationship and move forward, dating only men who have what you already have.
8 I’m Not Ready To Settle Down
Being in a relationship doesn’t make you automatically old and it doesn't mean that you now have to stop having fun. In fact, it can be quite the opposite. Being in a relationship can open up a bunch of new opportunities and adventures for both of you. For example, if you love to travel or dream of traveling, you now have a partner with whom to travel the world. With two incomes coming in, you can both save for traveling adventures and make them a reality. If you are worried about becoming frumpy because you are settling down, change things up. You have a workout partner now and you can both start improving your health and fitness together, avoiding those relationship bellies altogether.
7 His Mother
You can't stand his mother (father, sister, or brother) now as it is. You can't imagine having to put up with her for the rest of your life. She interferes in your relationship, makes it clear that she doesn't like you, and is always putting you down in front of your boyfriend. On top of it all, she keeps showing up at his place when it is supposed to be alone time for the two of you. This happens a lot, but most people learn to deal with it. If your man is serious about your relationship, he will place her on the back burner or tell her directly to back off. On the other hand, if he is a momma's boy, all bets are off and you may have to either suck it up or move on.
6 Wasting Time
Are there times when doubt creeps in and you start to wonder if you are wasting your time being in a relationship? Perhaps you are not really afraid of wasting your time and are more afraid of being hurt, being wrong, or maybe the relationship is suddenly moving too fast for you. Ask yourself exactly how you are wasting your time by being in a relationship. Do you feel that you are not getting enough time to work on the things you enjoy doing or reaching your goals? If so, have a talk with your partner. Chances are, he will probably appreciate some alone time to work on his own stuff, too, and the two of you can work out an "off on my own" schedule.
5 The Sex Will Get Boring
Pish-posh, lady! The sex only gets boring if you allow it to get boring. Sure, many couples fall into a daily sex routine and grow bored over time, but it does not have to be that way. If you play your cards right, sex will get even better the longer you are with someone. Being in a relationship allows you and your partner to explore things you wouldn't do with someone you just met. Instead of letting the bedroom action to get boring, find fun ways to spruce things up and keep the action fresh and exciting, such as getting position cards or getting a couple's massage and a sweetheart's room at a classy hotel.
4 He Won’t Like The “Real” You
This fear comes down to self-confidence. If you are already in a relationship with the man, chances are pretty good that he knows your ups and downs already. If you think you are a burden to him, think again. If that were really the case, he would be packing his bags and heading out the door. We are all human and we all come with our own emotional baggage. The trick in a relationship is to accept each other as you are. Stop being afraid to be you around him. He will either accept you, and so far he has, or he will think your a bit nuts, but he will probably stay regardless because he loves you.
3 The Relationship Won’t Move Forward
Sometimes relationships can get stuck. This doesn't mean that the relationship is broken or even over. We all can get too comfortable where we are and instead of moving forward, we stay in the comfort zone. If at any time you feel that your relationship isn't moving forward, you need to sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with your partner. Make a plan together to get your relationship going in the right direction, whether that means an engagement or marriage.
2 You Are Going To Somehow Get Hurt
Sure, being in a relationship has its risks, but they are all worth it if it means that one day you will find your soul mate. Many of us dread getting into a relationship because we are somehow going to get hurt, but how do we know that we are going to get hurt unless we give it a shot? If having someone in your life is important to you, then a relationship is well worth the risk. And let's face it, most people just want to find happiness. Not everyone is a jerk and not everyone is out to hurt you.
1 He Is Putting On An Act
Is he too good to be true? Is he so perfect that you swoon at the sound of his voice? Believe it or not, that's called love and love does put the blinders on us in the beginning of every relationship. If you are afraid that he is pretending to be nice, discover what it is that has you on edge. Is it really him or is it you? If you are starting to think that there is something ultimately unreal about him, try sitting him down for a conversation. Most fake people can't hold a real conversation without messing it up. On the other hand, if you are being paranoid because of other bad relationships, take things a little slower than normal and get to know him better.