Whether you're married or have only been in a relationship with him for a short period of time, you're contemplating cheating on him. Perhaps you met someone, either at work or while you were at a bar, and he's sparked your interest. Or maybe, you get drunk one night after getting in a fight with your boyfriend and just want to rebel in your sadness. Either way, cheating is never a great idea. Why? Because it ruins everything you and your partner have spent so much time creating. So much so that very few couples ever come back when one of them cheats. Even if you don't tell him about it, the guilt still remains and will affect you negatively in the long run. If you are thinking about cheating or think you may be put in a position where you could cheat, read below to find out 12 things you should consider before cheating.
12 Can You Handle The Changes That Will Come?
As I said before, cheating is something very few couples can overcome. And after it happens, it changes everything. If you're thinking of cheating, ask yourself if you're willing to lose everything- including him. If the two of you have built a life together, are you all right with walking away from it? Will you be able to survive if he walks away from you? If by some miracle, the two of you stay together, are you going to be able to work hard to rebuild your trust? Just know that cheating will alter the dynamic of your life indefinitely.
11 Your Friends
If you share a group of friends with your partner, chances are, when you cheat, they're going to have more sympathy for him than you when/if the relationship ends. Even if your relationship was disintegrating before you decided to cheat, you're going to be seen as the straw that broke the camel's back. Often times, when a relationship ends or gets rocky, the friends you and your partner share don't know how to react. However, most people believe cheating is wrong, therefore, they may see him as the victim and you as the criminal.
10 Your Kids
Even if your children are too young to understand what's happening in your relationship, someday they won't be. And, as much as you think your children will never find out you cheated, they probably will. This is why it's extremely important that you consider what type of role model you want to be for your kids. If their mother cheated, they may think it's all right if they do too when they get into relationships down the line. Additionally, they may start to distrust or resent you for your dishonesty or blame you for ruining what you and their father had.
9 The Reason
Why do you want to cheat? Is it because you're unfulfilled in the bedroom? Are you bored? Is it some sort of cry for change? Or, are you being self-destructive? Figure out the reason you want to cheat before you engage in the act. Chances are, you'll be able to resolve any problems you might have before going to such extreme lengths. Remember, when you cheat, there's very little chance of fixing anything in your relationship. In fact, it only makes things worse. Don't destroy something great in your life on a whim. Betrayal is permanent, unhappiness is temporary.
8 The Other Person
If you're already involved in an emotional relationship with someone else (which, let's face it, is practically cheating), and want to take it to a physical level, you must also consider the other person's feelings. For example, are they going to expect that you leave your boyfriend or husband for them? Will they be upset if you don't? Before you do anything, you should be sure that it's worth it and that you're honest about what you want. If you're not, you could end up disappointing both the other man and your current partner.
7 The Guilt
With cheating, comes a lot of guilt. Are you able to take on such a burden or will it eat you up and destroy you inside? Don't forget that cheating will affect you just as much as it will affect your partner, especially if you know deep in your heart that it's wrong. Although it may not seem like a big deal at first, it is. Why? Because you're the person that has to live with knowing what you did was dishonest. Being disappointed in yourself is sometimes harder than being disappointed in others.
6 The Danger
If you hardly know the person that you're cheating with, you have no idea where they've been or who they've been with. In fact, if they're willing to be with someone they hardly know or someone they know is in a relationship, they've probably been irresponsible before you. Even if you use protection, you still have to be wary of contracting STI's or getting pregnant. On top of that, you have to worry that you might also infect your partner if you decide to be with him after you cheat.
5 What Are You Trying To Figure Out?
No one cheats simply because they feel like it. Chances are, if you're thinking about cheating or you've already cheated, you're trying to figure something out. Whether it be about you or about you and your partner's relationship, what exactly is it? For example, as twisted as it sounds, you may be trying to figure out if you really love him. Or maybe, if you're in a semi-unhealthy relationship, you're testing him to see if he really loves you and would be with you no matter what.
4 Your Future
As we've said before, cheating changes everything. This is why it's important to think about your future and where you want to end up before you cheat. If you're in a relationship but in love with someone else, can you see yourself with the person you're in love with or is he just a phase? Is it really worth it? Do you see yourself being with the guy you're dating now forever even though you're unhappy? If so, are you willing to lose him for a couple minutes of pleasure? What we do now greatly effects where we end up.
3 What Will You Do After?
Before you cheat, you should decide what you're going to do after the fact. Are you strong enough to tell your partner that you cheated on him or are you going to break up with him because he doesn't deserve to be with someone who cheated? Will you pretend like everything's okay and try and move forward? If so, are you able to do that without feeling guilty all the time? Is this a one-time thing or do you actually have feelings for the person you cheated with? It's unfair to act irresponsibly when it comes to other people's emotions and well-being.
2 Are You Willing To Destroy Everything?
If he finds out you cheated on him, he's not going to be happy. In fact, he'll probably be extremely angry and hurt. Therefore, your betrayal may make him think that your entire relationships was a lie. Why? Because he can no longer trust you. Every great memory the two of you have will be tainted. He may feel like he doesn't know you and that everything was a lie. Additionally, any chance you two had of being friends if you ended up splitting up before you were with someone else, is destroyed.
1 Will It Make Me Happy?
Will cheating on him really make you happy? If you're having doubts about your relationship, you most likely need to take the time to figure things out for yourself. That being said, is cheating on him going to make that easier or harder for you? Think with your head and your heart. Don't act impulsively. You deserve to be happy and if cheating on him will do that for you, then by all means, go ahead. However, be honest with yourself and do your best to do what's right for both you and your partner.