Being a writer can be both a gift and a curse. You’ve been given the gift of being good with words and can turn anything into a story, which definitely comes in handy whether or not you’ve decided to make a living from your writing craft. But you also have all the usual ailments that the writing life gives you, from writer’s block to having crippling self-doubt to wondering if you’re ever truly going to make it. It’s a lot to deal with and can be pretty exhausting sometimes (okay, most of the time). Thanks to the glorious Internet, there are so many ways to be a writer these days and so many available platforms, from starting your own blog to being a freelance writer to working on the great American novel that may or may not ever see the light of day. But while we’re all pretty unique, there are certain ways that you can tell someone is a writer. Here are 12 things that happen when you’re a writer.
12 Dates Think You’re Going To Write About Them
It’s the kiss of death when you’re on a first date and you let it slip that you’re a writer. If you’re typing up words for a living, then of course your profession is going to come up – what you do every day is kind of a normal first date kind of question. But your date is probably going to ask if you’re planning on writing about the date that you’re both on. You’ll blush, stutter, and stammer, trying to find a polite and nice way of explaining that no, you’re not going to write about him. It will be awkward every single time.
11 You Love To Eavesdrop
You just can’t help it. If you’re a writer and you’re in a public place (and sometimes you have to leave your cozy apartment and be part of the world, unfortunately) you love eavesdropping on strangers’ conversations. It’s just so much fun. Plus, it’s material. You not only need to know what subjects people talk about, but you need to observe how they speak. Some people tend to talk super fast and others pause a lot between sentences. You’re totally fascinated by human beings and their speech patterns. You’re always amazed by how personal people are willing to get when they’re surrounded by strangers in a crowded café.
10 You Tend To Exaggerate
Okay, it’s not that you’re lying. You don’t condone lying (unless it’s a well-meaning little white lie). It’s just that sometimes, real life can pale in comparison to your imagination, and you think that you should make your situations and experiences sound much more exciting. When you’re standing in the middle of a crowd at a party telling a story, you tend to exaggerate. You don’t mean to. It just happens. No one seems to mind though so you tell yourself it’s not a problem that you don’t tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth all the time.
9 You Live At Starbucks
Or whatever your coffee shop of choice is. It’s probably Starbucks, though, unless you’re a super cool hipster who loves finding the most artistic and charming hole-in-the-wall cafes that no one else has heard of yet. You basically drink caffeine throughout the entire day and sometimes even the night, if you’re on a deadline. If you’re a writer, you’ll think nothing of drinking several cups of joe while sitting in a coffee shop for the entire afternoon. You don’t even notice the time passing – it just flies by along with the flowing words on your Macbook. Then you come up for air and realize you might have overdosed on the caffeine. Oops.
8 You Neglect Your Boyfriend
Sometimes. Not all the time, of course, or you wouldn’t even have a boyfriend at all. But no matter how much you love being in a relationship and no matter how awesome your guy is, you live in two separate worlds: the real world and the one in your head. You need a lot of alone time so you can craft new stories and think. You spend a lot of time thinking. Sometimes your boyfriend complains that you’re not hanging out with him enough or that when you went out for dinner last night, you were a million miles away, thinking about a story. You feel guilty but that’s just what it means to date a writer.
7 You’re A Monster On Deadline
Hell hath no fury like a writer with a looming deadline. Any politeness or sense of personal hygiene goes right out the window. You can spend a straight week in your apartment and barely go outside except when you need supplies (coffee and candy, mostly). You forget about showering and never wash your hair, and you live in sweatpants or your PJ’s, depending on how the work is going. If you’re really having a rough time, you stay in the same PJ’s for seven days straight. Your friends and family soon learn to ignore you during this time period because you’re just not yourself.
6 Books Are Your BFFs
You love reading so, so much. You might even like books better than people. You treat your books like beloved family members or friends, and you make sure nothing ever happens to your treasured novels. Your whole apartment looks like a bomb has hit most of the time because you ran out of bookshelf space ages ago. But you’re not going to stop buying new books – that would be absolutely insane. Instead, you pile up books wherever you can. You’re not ashamed, though – you’re actually pretty proud of yourself for finding new and inventive places to store your books.
5 You Love To Hibernate
Sure, everyone loves a good evening of Netflix and chill, but if you’re a writer, you take that idea to a whole other level. You absolutely love staying home – your apartment is your sanctuary, and you tend to be kind of a loner. It’s not that you’re socially inept, because you love the people in your life. But you do love to hibernate. Getting cozy with a warm mug of hot chocolate and a blanket and a gripping read is your perfect Sunday afternoon. It doesn’t matter if it’s winter or summer, though – you’re still reading the entire weekend (although in July and August you might head to a park with a stack of books).
4 You Hate Math
You more than hate Math – you absolutely loathe it. You kind of wish it didn’t exist. Sure, there are some writers who rock at Algebra and Calculus but it definitely seems like the majority of scribes just hate Math. It was your least fave subject in school and you avoided it in university like the plague. If you’re a freelance writer, you have to do some Math on a regular basis if you want to, you know, actually get paid and make enough money to survive (or at least have enough for new books whenever you want them). If you write full-time at a magazine or website, you still need some Math skills. So you try your best. But that doesn’t mean you don’t hate it.
3 People Call You Quiet
Your entire life, people think you’re shy and quiet. And you are kind of quiet. But you’re a writer, so what do they expect? You spent your childhood and your high school days daydreaming in English class and writing stories in your head instead of caring about all the usual teenage drama. Your whole life is about observing others and thinking and making sure that you understand the world and society enough to write about it. So what others say about you doesn’t really matter, and you definitely don’t care what others think. You live to write and that’s about it.
2 You Live For Gossip
Everyone says being a gossip is terrible and that you should never talk about other people behind their back or get involved in their business. You’re a writer, though, so you laugh at that idea. You live for gossip and always need to be super nosy. You want to know absolutely everything about the past, present, and future of every single person that you meet. You ask personal questions and sure, you might offend people sometimes, but you don’t mean to. You just want the information and the juicier, the better.
1 You Can Be A Bit Pretentious
You’re a good person, you swear. It’s just that as a professional writer, you have a lot of opinions – like a lot. And sometimes you tell other people your very strongly worded opinions when maybe you should have stayed silent. Oh well. What’s the point of having thoughts if you can’t voice them? That’s what free speech and freedom of expression are all about, right? Sometimes people accuse you of being pretentious, but really, what writer isn’t a little bit pretentious? It doesn’t bother you. You have a story to write, and your laptop is calling you.