Women running off to the bathroom in pairs or packs dates back over many generations. Even old movies from the 30s include the women excusing themselves to their dates, coyly smiling, and linking arms as they sashay away to powder their noses, leaving their men to make awkward small talk, check their watches, and wonder what on earth is in that room that makes it so enticing.
Many men think women's restrooms are elegant and pampering, with luxurious settees covered in velvet and brocade, adorned with overstuffed pillows to cradle our delicate heads. They picture trays of lotions and perfumes, flutes of champagne, and smiling attendants handing out warm, moist plush terrycloth towels to help the ladies freshen up.
Sure, some high end clubs and restaurants offer those amenities but most women's bathrooms in these establishments are identical to men's, just with more stalls. But it's not the physical attributes that make women's restrooms so beckoning, it's the ambiance, the shelter from the storms on the dance floor or in the restaurant. They are a place where attitudes can be adjusted as easily as bras and panties, an area where women who've never met give and receive advice on everything from eye liner to avoiding a goodnight kiss, a spot where breath mints flow to mask that nasty vomit breath before returning to the fray.
Read on to learn more and share the link with your favorite men who yearn for insight into the feminine mystique.
No matter what your sad story is, someone in the bathroom has been there, done that, and offers their perspective and support. Whether the server doused your new white blouse with red wine, you just found out your date is married, cheating on you – or both, or your kid is having trouble in school, someone in that bathroom is sure to make you feel better, understand you're not alone, and probably even make you laugh. Pretty impressive backing from strangers in the night.
A big restroom event. Either he broke your heart, you're about to break his, or someone's so wasted that everything in the world makes them weep. And for some reason, those tiled walls and the stench of floral room deodorizer often fuel a chain reaction. One woman blubbers out her story, which reminds another woman of a similar sad tale, and then her friend recalls how devastated she was by the event and before you know it, all the toilet tissue has been used to dry tears. The scene would perplex most males but if you're female, it's just another visit to the ladies' room.
Washrooms often offer the best lighting for pictures, some of the best selfies and mirror selfies can be take there. Washrooms offer privacy which can often allow you the time to take 10 pics in order to land on the perfect selfie. And before you even return to your seat you have already fixed yourself up and had time to upload a new beautiful picture to your timeline. Magical creatures we are indeed.
Stress and liquor can bring women closer and faster than an ERA rally in the 60s, especially in the confines of a bathroom. As women mature, most realize that we're all in this together and the best way to gain the lead and keep it is celebrating our similarities rather than highlighting our differences. A ladies' room is usually populated by women from all walks of life but those differences dissipate when it comes to our basic wants and needs and how we strive for fulfillment and contentment.
Those cushy sofas in some restrooms aren't just for show. Sometimes a woman just needs a little respite from the evening's activities. She may be a little tipsy from that combination of a shrimp cocktail and 5 martinis, just plain tired if this is her second or third date in 24 hours, or possibly bored to death by her blind date who hasn't stopped talking about his pinball machine collection since he picked her up at home. If the restroom has no couch, many women find comfort in the corner on the cool marble floor. We're very adaptable.
Usually it's fighting with a friend but a stranger will do if you both have enough chutzpah and are sober enough to form fairly coherent sentences. Depending on the time of night and the general sobriety of the crowd, fights range from nasty verbal exchanges and pissy comments about hair, clothes, makeup and bodies to open-handed bit*h slapping and perfectly planted uppercuts. While the latter will probably result in getting thrown out of the place, you can't beat the drama as a spectator. Good verbal battles are fun but they can't come close to a good knockdown-drag-out brawl, complete with hair pulling.
7 Plotting their escape
The bathroom is the perfect place to text friends and family to schedule the "family emergency" get-me-out-of-this-place call. It's especially helpful if you're a novice because the ladies in the room will give you creative tips on how to set up the call and concoct the most believable excuses. If family and friends are unreachable, a woman who's had more than her share of bad dates is always there, willing to fake call you herself to let you make a graceful, hasty exit. There's also an available app you can set up on your phone before you go out that generates a fake emergency call from the party of your choice at a time you preset. Sweet.
6 Rearranging body parts
Boobs and fannies tend to go south as the evening progresses. A few lifts and tucks in the bathroom make you look fresh as a daisy reaching for the sun. Push-up bras have come a long way (no need to insert chicken cutlets to create cleavage) but you still need to reposition those mammary glands every few hours for the best presentation. Spanx are great contouring tools but tend to slip and slide during the evening, especially if you're dancing. The shelter of the ladies' room is perfect for these adjustments, some of which are much easier with the help of a lady friend.
5 Pep talking themselves and others
Women are usually insightful enough to realize that often times the shortcomings of the evening may be their own fault. If you're coming off a bad day or even a bad week, those frustrations can make you cranky and critical. When you can't seem to control your sourpuss attitude, go to the women's restroom. There will surely be a woman there who can make you smile, pack away your troubles for the night, and quit making your date miserable. Even if the bad vibes are coming from someone else, a cheer of, "You can do it! You can make it through this hellish evening with a smile!" always helps.
That mixed greens side salad you demurely ordered as an entrée instead of that 10-ounce sirloin you really wanted wears thin in about 30 minutes, so it's time to devour those purse snacks strategically placed at the very bottom of your makeup bag with that emergency tampon. Since no man would ever understand your stash, the ladies' room is perfect for prudent snacking. If a fellow restroom guest spots you, she may have a sweet or salty accompaniment in her bag to round out your mini-meal. Just be sure to check your teeth for evidence before you return to the table.
There's lots of vomiting inside those mauve-colored stalls. No one knows if it's first-date nerves, the consumption of unusual food, mixing tequila shots with White Russians, simply too much food and/or drinks. Your friend will hold your hair back as you kneel in front of the porcelain bowl or if you're chucking up solo, a kind stranger will keep your locks out of the bowl, no questions asked. End the ordeal with a good mouth swishing and a handful of mints, gently wipe the perspiration from your brow, and no one outside the restroom will be the wiser.
2 Wedgie relief
Those g-string panties, tummy-flattening briefs and full body Spanx do wonders to transform less-than-perfect body parts into sexy curves but the price is high. When you see a woman walking with uneven strides and moving her arms and torso like a Cirque de Soleil performer, she's probably seeking relief from those binding undergarments. True wedgies are difficult to discreetly fix in public, so the ladies' room is the perfect place to seek relief and comfort and then return to your date with the body symmetry you started off the evening with.
1 Trash talking
A lot of trash talking goes on behind those closed bathroom doors, usually with BFFs about that night's dates but women they just met in the bathroom are also fair game. You'll overhear chatter about benign subjects like cosmetics and uncomfortable shoes as well as hot topics such as the sexual prowess (or lack thereof) of men and women you've never met. The language might get a bit raunchy but most of it's just for fun and a perfect setting to get all those questionable hot mess comments and critiques out of your system.