Listen, we totally get it. The title of ‘ex-girlfriend’ is hard for anyone to rock. First of all, if you are someone’s ex-girlfriend that means that you are processing a break up, which sucks in and of itself. Nobody enjoys being broken up with but unfortunately, you can drift into crazy ex-girlfriend territory whether you were dumped, or even if you were the one doing the dumping. In some cases the jerk you were dating did something unforgivable (cheating with your bestie) and you were left with no other choice but to end the relationship. Sure, in this case you may have dumped him but it’s still easy to slide into that crazy ex-girlfriend territory.
Nobody really wants to be a crazy ex. It isn’t really the goal but somehow, it still happens to the best of us. While there are red flags, like, oh I don’t know, you have a shrine of him in your closet or go through his garbage every night, there are also smaller signs that you may be in crazy ex-girlfriend territory. You may be doing tiny things every day that add up to being a crazy ex-girlfriend. Trust us, this is not a reputation that anyone wants. Even if you’re ex is a jerk who you want to get back at or the sweetest guy in the world who you want to win back, being a crazy ex-girlfriend will not make either situation come to fruition. These are the twelve smaller signs that you may be heading into the dreaded crazy ex-girlfriend zone.
12 You Still Watch His Netflix
You can make all the excuses you want but still logging into his Netflix account to binge-watch Jessica Jones is a sign of being a crazy ex-girlfriend. What? You don’t want to pay the $11.99/month to enjoy the blessing of binge-watching? Buck up, baby, because watching his Netflix is unhealthy. You may be asking what about this is necessarily unhealthy. Well, you are able to view what he recently viewed and by doing so, you are able to still be a part of his life, even though you are no longer part of his life. Cut the cord, girl, because this is the start of some major backsliding.
11 You Know His Password To Anything/Everything
If you still know his password to Facebook, email or Hulu, there is an issue. Sure, you may have dated for years and picked up some passwords in that time. I completely understand that but still knowing the passwords can lead to being a spy girl. If you are using the passwords to read the flirty emails that girl from accounting sent him or the happy-birthday message from his other ex-girlfriend, you are abusing your powers and really, it's hardly your fault. The temptation to spy when you know his password is just too great. Your best bet in this situation is to kindly ask him to change his passwords. Why even have the temptation? Also, while you’re at it, change your passwords too!
10 You Log Into His Messages
This goes hand-in-hand with knowing his passwords but it goes one step beyond. In this case, you are actually abusing your privilege of knowing his passwords. Do not do this. Nothing you read in these messages will make you happy. If a girl is messaging him, that will break your heart. You may even find things to be upset about that aren't related to him dating someone else... like the fact that he's still ordering Chinese food from the spot that you had both gone to together. How could he get the spicy egg rolls without you? Reading his messages is not only not granting him privacy and crazy in its own right, but it will also lead to even crazier thoughts.
9 You Go To Places He Frequents
Okay, so that bar on the corner may have the best chili cheese fries in the city or that breakfast spot may make a mean pancake stack but are those really the reasons why you’re hitting up these spots? I don’t think so. If you're still going there because these are spots he frequents, you're in trouble. You're purposely putting yourself in positions to bump into him. It's even worse if you're doing your hair and makeup in order to go to these places. Trust me, he is not wearing the button down you like him in and going to your favorite coffee spot so stop paying him this much attention in your life. Do your hair and makeup to meet new men, not the one who broke your heart.
8 You’re Driving By His Place
You can dress this up any way you want but doing a drive by on an ex-boyfriend is stalking, ladies. Whatever reason it may be, driving by and seeing the place where you used to go and see him is unhealthy. In fact, even if it is the quickest way somewhere, you should just avoid driving by there in general because, uh, it could be pretty embarrassing if you were caught. If he does catch you, claiming that you were heading somewhere in that direction, even if true, just sounds like an excuse. Avoid him because he's probably avoiding you right now.
7 You Drunk Dialing Him
This is one of the worst things any ex-girlfriend can do and yet, we all sometimes do this. It's just hard because one you hit a certain point of inebriation, your fingers will just magically start to dial your ex's number even if you don't want to. This generally results in either you trying to be sexy, you crying or you yelling. None of these are good looks while you're drunk. Sure, you can play it off and text him the following day explaining that you were drunk (which he probably already knows) but regardless, drunk dialing him is just another way to show you still care. It may be hard but resisting the urge to drunk dialing is one of the easiest ways to stay out of crazy ex-girlfriend town.
6 You Go To An Event Because He RSVPed On Social Media
Social media is an awful invention that can drive an ex-girlfriend insane. If you were not a crazy ex-girlfriend before, seeing something on social media can instantly make you snap. It’s really not your fault, because seeing the every day actions of someone you are no longer dating is just weird. You could also just unfriend him but it seems to be a popular belief that staying friends with an ex on social media post-breakup is a sign of maturity. Listen - defriend your ex, stay friends with your ex - we're not going to tell you what is best for you in that situation but we are going to tell you that if you see that your ex said he'd be at an event and then you show up to the same event to see him, you're morphing into a crazy ex-girlfriend.
5 You Stalk Any Girl Who Likes His Picture
Some girl he went to elementary school with liked the picture he posted of him and his dog… that doesn’t mean he’s getting down and dirty with her. It also doesn’t mean that you should stalk her to the point that you know that she wore a red bikini on a trip to Cancun in 2011. Unfortunately, because of the world wide web, you may end up seeing some other girls flirting with him via likes and comments. Yes, it's hard but try not to stalk all of these girls. By stalking them, you are dedicating three hours of your like to your ex-boyfriend and some girl who liked his picture. You could have been binge-watching three episodes of Game of Thrones. Get your priorities in check.
4 You Keep Track Of Him Via Posts
Breaking up with someone is weird. You go from talking to them every day to no longer having that kind of communication. You no longer hear about that suck-up he works with, or debate Game of Thrones theories together. It's weird letting go of these little details of a person's life but do not hold on to them via social media. Keeping track of your ex's life on social media is something that is difficult to avoid but actively looking is another thing. Don't check out his vacation pictures or comment on his status about being promoted. You may have this window into his life but it's best to try not to look that deep inside.
3 You Wish Him A Happy Birthday
If you have been broken up for seven years and are in a good place, by all means, text him happy birthday. Write on his Facebook wall. Call him. Send him balloons. That's awesome that you're friends with your ex. If you've just recently broken up, it's best to just forget about their birthday until you are both further removed from the situation. In the case of a fresh break up, you're most likely just texting him happy birthday as a way to start conversation with him on a day when he probably doesn't care to be talking to his ex-girlfriend.
2 You Befriend His Friends Post-Break Up
This one is tough. You may have met a ton of great guy friends via your ex but, make no mistake, he gets them in the division of the break up. Of course, this doesn't mean you have to completely cut ties with them but knowing the difference between being too clingy to these friends and continuing your relationship is essential. Also, if the appeal of these guys is that they are friends with your ex and not that they are cool guys, you might be drifting into crazy ex-girlfriend territory. In order to be a totally sane girlfriend, you shouldn't really be keeping people in your life solely because they can help you keep tabs on your ex.
1 You Text Him About Your Day
Put down the phone and never look back. Even if you and your ex have committed to the whole 'let's be friends' thing, just no. He and you have broken up, which means he no longer gets to hear your hilarious witticisms throughout the day. Even if he is texting back, he may just be being polite. You never want to be the person texting him nonstop as he tells people his "crazy ex-girlfriend" is texting him about some guy on the subway. You don't know he's really thinking on his end of the phone. Plus, keeping touch in a flood of daily texts is just a crutch you are both using to avoid facing the realities of being single. You're wasting your texts on some guy who hurt you instead of texting some new, cute guy who may not ever hurt you.
The point of all of this: If you guys are broken up, he has lost your hilarious texts as well everything else amazing that comes from being part of your life. Cut ties - besides, he can't really realize what he lost until you are truly gone.