We're constantly holding onto the hope that he'll change his ways. But he just ends up making the same old mistakes. This makes the future of our relationship seem completely unrealistic.
It's as if we're unable to get through to him that he'll have to improve, or we'll walk. Unless he truly decides to change, we're not willing to stick around any longer. We need a man who's going to constantly be his best, or at least to the best of his abilities. Not someone constantly making the same old mistakes when we've repeatedly told him that what he's doing is unacceptable.
If he said he's going to change, his actions will imitate his words. He can't simply promise to improve, without actually putting in the effort. That's why we here at TheTalko made a list to distinguish the signs between him actually trying to change versus him not caring about what's going on.
We're not going to let him get away with these bad behaviors any longer and are here to put a stop to them. Get ready to keep a close eye on him to pick up these signs. He better get ready to change his ways, or we're out of the picture!
Keep a close eye on the 12 signs that he's willing to change, and the 12 signs that simply show he couldn't care less about what's going on.
24 There’s Hope: Regret Is All Over His Face
If he's genuinely sorry, you'll be able to tell right away. Regret will fill his face completely as he's genuinely feeling bad about his mistakes. You'll probably notice sadness all over his face every time he looks into your eyes. That's because he's thinking about what he has done, and what he can do to change.
You'll probably want to go easy on him if you notice that he's filled with regret. He's already beating himself over what happened and doesn't need you to do so as well. Instead, consider telling him that you forgive him in order to ease the pain. However, keep in mind that the embarrassment that he's feeling is exactly what he needs to change his ways and improve on the relationship!
23 It’s Over: He’s Focused On Something Else
If you notice that his mind is somewhere else, you've lost him. He's in his own world and isn't going to care about what's going on in his personal life. He's so over all of the constant fights and drama that he's looking for something else to take his mind off of reality.
The truth is that everything has gotten to be too much for him. While a ton of it is definitely his fault, it seems like he would much rather check out of the relationship than work on the issues. Sadly, there is absolutely no way that you can force him to change his ways. If he's focused on something else, it simply seems like he's done with the relationship and is just waiting to get out.
22 There’s Hope: He Puts In The Work
All men say that they're going to change their ways, yet their actions don't often reflect their words. However, if you notice that your lover is genuinely willing to improve, then he's the real deal. There is a huge chance that your relationship is actually going to flourish if your lover is willing to put in the work and improve!
You'll also notice that he's slowly starting changing his ways. He'll stop making reoccurring mistakes and will instead shift his energy towards fixing the cracks in the relationship. If he changes his actions, it's probably because he realized that the relationship is actually going downhill. He'll have to act fast if he actually wants to keep things going.
21 It’s Over: Pride Is Taking Over
There is nothing more important to him than his pride. He's not willing to take some humility even if it's for the betterment of the relationship. You've noticed that everything always has to go his way and that he's not willing to change for anyone.
If improving things is at the cost of him admitting his mistakes, he's not down. He's so used to always being on top that he isn't willing to put himself down for absolutely anyone. While he probably does adore you, he won't change who he is for the state of the relationship. It's best to leave him and his pride, as things are just not going to work out.
20 There’s Hope: Constant Talk Over The Future
The best relationship sign that you can ever get is if your man talks about the future. This shows that he's serious and is thinking about the state of the relationship over the long term. It's not like he's looking to have some quick fun with you; he's in it for the long run.
He knows that things aren't going to be easy and that he has to be willing to change. A ton of issues have already come up and that's just the beginning. He knows that the relationship is going to take a ton of work, but he's completely invested in it if he brings up the future of the relationship! He's thinking long term, and so should you!
19 It’s Over: Why Should He Change Who He Is?
If you notice that his ego is talking, then the relationship is probably over. The truth is that he completely adores himself and is not willing to change for absolutely anyone. He has put in the work to build himself into the person he always wanted to be and isn't about to let anyone get in the way of that.
While he still makes a ton of mistakes, he's completely blind to them. He's convinced that he absolutely knows what he's doing and shouldn't have to change for anyone. If you're not willing to appreciate who he truly is, then he'll move onto someone else who does. This is the last person you want to be in a relationship with as he'll never change for the better.
18 There’s Hope: The Lies Disappear
Slowly but surely, the lies will disappear. You'll begin to notice that your man is completely transparent and is acting like an open book. You'll no longer have to waste your time trying to read his mind as he'll be completely open on how he's feeling.
This is one of the best signs that shows that your relationship still has hope. He's starting to realize that his words and actions actually have an impact on you and the state of your relationship. He knows that he'll have to be completely honest if he wants things to actually get better. Accept your lover's honesty and make sure to reflect his hard work!
17 It’s Over: He Won’t Listen To Anyone
He won't listen to anyone, even you. The last thing that he wants is for his lover to constantly complain about everything that he's doing wrong. While deep down he knows that he's been the absolute worst recently, he's still not willing to change his ways.
He's so used to always being the one in charge that he's not about to listen to anyone about how headstrong he is. If you think constantly annoying him about everything that he's doing wrong will work, it totally won't. He's going to keep on doing his own thing and completely ignore you. There is absolutely no hope in the relationship if he won't acknowledge your opinion.
16 There’s Hope: He Realizes His Faults
Your relationship has a future if your lover realizes that he was the one at fault. While he might want to pretend that he was the one in the clear, that isn't exactly the case. If he's able to admit that he was the one who was wrong, the relationship actually holds the power to stand the test of time.
Everyone avoids admitting that they were wrong. That's why this is one of the most important signs that your relationship actually has a future. He's willing to admit where he went wrong and grow from his mistakes. This isn't an easy step for anyone to make. That's why you should make sure to show your appreciation each time your lover is willing to take some blame.
15 It’s Over: The Resentment Is Growing
If his passive-aggressive behavior is only increasing, that's because the resentment is growing. All of the past relationship issues are truly taking a toll on him as he's not over them. While he might have forgiven what happened, he hasn't exactly forgotten.
Instead, he's holding onto a ton of negative energy from the past. You'll see his resentment manifest every time he drops a passive-aggressive comment that should be history. There is no way that your relationship is going to be able to move on until he forgives the past. Instead, he's going to keep holding onto all of this aggression until it pushes you completely away from one another.
14 There’s Hope: He’s Remorseful Over His Mistakes
It seems like he's constantly trying to figure out a way for you to fully forgive his past mistakes. Whether you have forgiven him, or are still holding onto anger, he completely regrets his actions. This situation pushed your relationship almost to the breaking point, yet you and your lover managed to keep it together.
Your relationship seems to have a bright future up ahead based on your partner. He's completely willing to change his ways as he's more than embarrassed over what happened. He's holding onto a ton of remorse and is willing to do whatever it takes to have you forgive him. The first step to growing your relationship is actually telling your partner that you forgive his mistakes (well, only if you actually do)!
13 It’s Over: He’s Keeping To Himself
It seems like your man is completely keeping to himself lately. He's not willing to come clean over what happened and is instead holding onto some negative emotions. You're probably getting the vibe that something is off as he been a little bit quieter than usual.
The excitement that once filled his face is completely gone as if he's holding onto something serious. This might be a new person that entered his life, or a desire to get out of the relationship. If he's not willing to open up on what's holding him back and is not willing to work on the relationship, then there is absolutely nothing that you can do as the ball is in your man's court.
12 There’s Hope: No More Playing Games
It seems like he wasn't exactly built for relationships in the past but he's managed to grow and evolve into a good boyfriend. He's given up playing games and is completely invested in making things work. It's pretty clear that when someone finds the love of their life, they're willing to go a complete 360 and transform into a brand new person that their dream lover will adore.
He's done playing games and all of his old ways. Now he's focused on bettering himself and his relationship with his lover. Your relationship definitely has hope if your partner has become an open book. He isn't into playing games anymore, and it totally shows!
11 It’s Over: He Doesn’t Think It’s Serious
While you might've thought that you two were exclusive, that was far from the case. It seems like he's still doing his own thing and isn't about to let anyone get in the way of that. He's not willing to settle down (officially) unless he thinks that it's the best course of action for him.
The last thing you want is to be with a guy who isn't open to making things official. He's going to keep on doing what's best for him, as that's all that he cares about. It's pretty evident that the most important thing to him is his own well being, not yours. If you needed a sign that he isn't the one, this unwillingness to make it official is definitely it.
10 There’s Hope: He Lets Go Of His Bad Habits
He knows that the only way to actually improve his relationship is to change his ways. He's surprisingly willing to do so as he knows it's for the best if he wants to keep you. It's not like he's changing who he is. Instead, he's simply changing his ways so that his partner appreciates him as a lover.
If he begins to let go of his bad habits, it is pretty clear that he is ready to improve. This sign shows that your relationship has a future as your lover isn't scared to show the world that he cares for you. If that means getting rid of his bad habits, he is more than willing to do so!
9 It’s Over: The Lies Are Only Growing
If you notice that the lies in your relationship are only growing, then things are totally going downhill. He's not willing to be completely honest as he doesn't think that it will benefit him. Instead, he's looking for any way to get the upper hand in the relationship without giving too much of himself to it.
The endless lies in the relationship are only going to cause everything that you've worked for to come crashing down. While you might want to push your lover to find the truth, there is no guarantee that he will open up. It's time to come to terms with what's going on in the relationship.
8 There’s Hope: He’s Genuinely Listening
There is nothing better than when our lover is genuinely listening to us. He's completely involved in the conversation and is interested in what we have to say. We all know what it's like to express our soul to someone who is completely daydreaming. That's why it's safe to say that your relationship has hope if your lover is genuinely interested in the conversation.
You'll probably notice that he's actually listening to you if he's giving you his input. The last thing you want is for him to stay completely quiet the whole time. Instead, he is carefully listening to what you have to say and then adding some insightful comments. If he's actually listening, he's a keeper!
7 It’s Over: He Keeps Disappearing
We seriously can't handle our lover constantly disappearing. It's as if everything is going completely amazing one second, and then it's falling apart the very next. If he thinks that he can just disappear whenever he feels like it, that so isn't the case. It's time for him to realize that he can't just run away whenever things get tough.
For him to just disappear out of the blue clearly shows that he is not invested in the relationship. The last thing we're about to let slide is a lover who goes ghost on us randomly. We need a partner who we can depend on at any second of the day. While it might seem like we're asking for too much, we at least want our lover to not run away at the drop of a hat.
6 There’s Hope: His Friends Are Helping Him Change
As much as we wish that he had the strength to change on his own, that isn't always the case. Instead, sometimes it takes his friends motivating him to change his ways in order to actually get a result. They say that the five people that you surround yourself with are who you will become, so this totally has to be the case.
If his friends are a positive influence, this will reflect on your relationship. If his friends are instead pressuring him to go out and be a little wild, he'll probably pick up on some of those traits as well. Give his friends some credit if they're actively helping your lover be the best possible version of himself!
5 It’s Over: He’s Proud Of Who He Is
There is no chance that you'll be able to change him if he's proud of who he is. He couldn't care less about changing his bad habits as he's completely blind to them. He's been put down in the past and has worked hard to rebuild himself. That's why the last thing that he's going to let slide is his boo trying to change him.
Instead, he's looking for any way to hold on to who he is. It seems like his ego is blinding him from seeing the truth. That's why there is no way for a relationship to last if one person is filled with too much pride. It seems like trying to pressure him to change will only push him even more away.
4 There’s Hope: He Puts Himself Second
The last thing anyone wants to do in a relationship is to lose themselves. A relationship takes a ton of compromise and in the process, we're guaranteed to have to put our partner before ourselves. That's why if you notice your partner putting you prior to himself from time to time, things are sure to work out!
He clearly understands that in order for a relationship to work, you have to put your partner before yourself. However, it doesn't mean that you're losing who you are by putting someone else first. If your lover has grasped this concept, then your relationship is sure to prosper.
3 It’s Over: There Is Distrust In The Relationship
The second that your lover loses trust in the relationship is the exact moment that everything begins to fall apart. It's incredibly hard to rebuild trust when it's undermined. That's why it's absolutely key to make sure that trust is maintained throughout the relationship.
If you're getting the feeling that your partner mistrusts you, then everything is about to go downhill. Rebuilding trust is one of the most difficult tasks ever. Your partner feels like he has to second-guess everything that you once told him. It's time to get ready and put in the work if you find yourself in this situation.
2 There’s Hope: He Promises To Change
Sometimes all it actually takes is him telling us that he's going to change his bad behaviors. While he might not have actually done anything to support this statement, it's still a start. He's giving you his word that he's going to change his ways, so at least he's acknowledging there's a problem.
He knows exactly what's going on and values what you two have more than anything. Rather than trying to push him to change immediately, give him some time. It's actually huge progress that he's willing to improve on who he is in order for the relationship to work.
1 It’s Over: He Feels Under Appreciated
Why would he stay with someone who doesn't appreciate him for who he is? He might feel pressured to constantly change and improve himself. No one wants to date someone who is constantly putting them down for not being good enough.
If you're getting the vibe that your lover is starting to push back, he's probably over the relationship. He's convinced that he's not being fully appreciated and instead should look for a partner who's going to love every part of who he is. Get ready to tell your man how much you actually adore him if you want things to work out. If not, get ready to say goodbye to your relationship.