If you’re single and dating, you probably can’t believe how much work the whole thing is. Whether you’re online dating or meet people at work or through friends, you have to spend a lot of time thinking about the kind of person you want to be with even before you arrive at the restaurant or bar for your first date. You probably have a checklist of personality traits, beliefs, and values that you want in a potential partner. Some people think it’s a bad idea to think that way because you can’t control who you fall in love with and people can always surprise you. But while that’s definitely true, there are things that you still have to consider, and those are red flags. No matter how open-minded you try to be, you owe it to yourself to be on the lookout for any weirdness on a date. After all, that’s what dates are for – figuring out if you like the other person, if you can see yourself with them, and if they seem like your kind of person. Here are 12 red flags that you can’t ignore on a first date.

12 Unemployment

Sometimes you find yourself without a job and it’s not your fault at all – your boss lets you go because the company is downsizing or you quit your job to find a better position. But if you’re an ambitious woman who cares about her career (which you probably are), then you will do everything in power to make sure that your unemployed status doesn’t last very long at all. It makes sense that if you find yourself on a first date with someone who’s unemployed and has no interest in finding a full-time gig, that would be a red flag that would make you second-guess a second date.

11 Gender Prejudice

If a guy makes sexist comments either directed at you or about any woman that he knows (his cousin, sister, ex-girlfriends, female friends, etc.) then you definitely can’t ignore that glaring, bright red flag. Of course you don’t want a boyfriend that seems to hate women because how weird would that be? This is the kind of red flag that will make you want to leave the restaurant immediately, and you 100 percent have the right to do that. The guy is clearly a total jerk and you don’t need to waste your time. You have better things to do (like all those shows waiting for you on Netflix).

10 Bad Behavior

Unfortunately, people aren’t always on their best behavior on a first date even though that seems like the most obvious thing in the world. If your date is rude to the waitress/waiter, complains that you were five minutes late (traffic – it happens) and/or makes rude comments the entire evening, you just can’t ignore that. This doesn’t only apply to first dates, of course – maybe someone is putting on a good show for you and it’s only on the second date that you find out they’re not the nicest person. But most of the time, people can’t hide who they really are when they’re sitting right in front of you, so you’ll most likely be able to see a guy’s true nature on the first meeting.

9 Food Shaming

People have this weird idea that if a woman orders anything but a juicy bacon cheeseburger and onion rings on a first date, she hates food and never, ever eats. Since when did ordering a veggie-filled salad or otherwise healthy entrée become such a bad thing? If you like living a healthy lifestyle and order a salad, your date should never mention it. It’s just weird and wrong for him to comment on your food choices, period. Maybe you have food allergies and a salad is the only thing on the menu that you can eat, or maybe you just like salad, which is totally fair.

8 Negativity

The restaurant is too crowded. The food took too long. He wants another drink but the last one was so gross he’s not sure if it’s worth it. If your date is saying any of this stuff, he’s clearly a super grouchy guy and not the one for you. Not wanting to see your date again because he’s a negative person may not be an obvious red flag like smoking or drinking too much, but it’s definitely worth a mention. You don’t want someone’s negative opinions and bad mood to influence how you view the world, but you start dating a guy who complains and whines about every single little thing, you’ll start feeling like a dark cloud is following you wherever you go.

7 Opposite Pop Culture Opinions

Sure, you’re not supposed to talk about politics or religion or any of that stuff on a first date, and you probably shouldn’t unless you want to get into a massive argument. Something that you will probably end up chatting about is pop culture – what shows you’re both into, the last movie you saw, the book you can’t stop reading even late at night when you should be halfway to dreamland. But if your date hates television and you can’t live without Netflix, or you’re a huge bookworm and he never, ever reads, then that’s a red flag that you shouldn’t forget about. You should have this kind of stuff in common because it proves how compatible you are and how you would be spending your downtime together.

6 Lazyness

If your date is pretty lazy when it comes to every aspect of his life – he plays video games all weekend long, he never bothers to cook, he never cleans, and he is bored at work every day – then he’s not the right match for you. You’re an ambitious gal and can’t possibly date someone who doesn’t care about trying hard and putting in the effort. You may think it doesn’t matter and that opposites attract, but if he can’t put effort into anything in his life, he won’t care about the relationship. Period.

5 Living At Home

Life can get you down sometimes and things don’t always work out the way you plan (okay, they never do). But you should still be a grown-up and live on your own, even if you have to get a roommate (or three). You can definitely consider it a red flag if you’re on a date with someone who’s in their twenties and still living with their mom. It’s just going to make things super complicated and tricky if you end up seriously dating them, so it’s probably best to get out now. You’ve been warned.

4 Friend Obsession

Some guys just love their bros. So much. They play video games any chance they get, they drink way too many beers in a single evening, and seem to always have a social plan on the horizon. If your date literally can’t stop talking about his guy friends and all the amazing stuff he has planned for the next few weekends, it’s a huge red flag. He’s too immature to even consider a relationship, and won’t ever make you a priority. So go ahead and move on. He can date his friends if he loves them so much.

3 Smoke Breaks

You might want to date a non-smoker or it might not be all that important to you. Everyone feels differently about this kind of issue. But if you’re on a date and the guy keeps leaving the table and heading outside to smoke a cigarette, that’s seriously uncool. It’s rude and inconsiderate, and just plain weird. Couldn’t he wait until the end of the date? If he really has to smoke every ten minutes, he probably has bigger problems that you don’t want to stick around to find out about.

2 Ranting

No one deserves to be on the other end of a crazy long rant. If your date can’t stop ranting about all sorts of topics from how he doesn’t want to get married to how he doesn’t even think marriage is a legit institution to his views on reality TV, you have a right to be more than a little annoyed. Everyone gets annoyed and frustrated at times, but a first date is not the right time to air your boldest opinions. This guy is way too passionate (and not in a good way).

1 Intensity

Some people are just too intense to consider seeing beyond the first date. If this guy is super intense about everything that he talks about, that’s your first bad sign. He might even start going on and on about how he wants to see you again. He’ll mention all the different activities you two could do together and want a confident answer from you immediately. It’s more than a little much for a first date or even for a second. You want someone who cares, but not a crazy intense person who doesn’t know boundaries. So hang in there, keep going on dates, and you’ll find someone who’s so right for you, that you don’t find any red flags at all.

sources: thebolde.com, glamour.com

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