Gone are the days where he asks you to be his girlfriend and gives you his letterman jacket to seal the deal. Woman in the digital age have to deal with social media, hook-up culture, STI's and a host of un-asked questions for the fear of being seen as too serious. We tend to bottle in our questions when on a date with someone we like, are we too scared to ask what's on our minds or is it that we are too scared to know the answers to the questions we have.
Here's a list 12 questions you'd love to ask him (and you totally should) but are too afraid.
12 What are we?
We've all been in relationships that aren't necessarily defined as a traditional relationship. In the era of hookups, friends with benefits, open relationships, Tinder, and everything in between, it can be hard to define your relationship and it can be even harder to ask your partner to define it for you. When you find yourself in this predicament it's best to be straight up and ask the question- what are we? This way you'll know exactly where you both stand before getting in too deep.
11 How many people have you slept with?
There's definitely a difference between having sex and being in love but both questions are as equally important for different reasons! Knowing the number of sexual partners the person you plan on getting sexual with is trés important to get a sense of your partner's experience, their standards and also to protect and inform yourself in regards to your own feelings and potentially even health concerns (but we'll touch on that in the next point.) Finding out how many times your significant other (s/o) has been in love before you helps to give you a sense of their willingness to commit and their experience when it comes to love and long-term relationships!
10 When is the last time you've been checked for an STI?
Your s/o doesn't have to have slept with a huge number of people to understand the importance of getting regular STI checks (but it's obviously even more important to get regular check ups if they do have an extensive sexual history.) Asking this awkward and sometimes scary question can protect both you and your partner from getting/passing an STI. There's nothing embarrassing about being smart with your sexual health and it doesn't have to be a big deal. Suggesting you both get checked together may make you and your partner feel more comfortable and it won't seem like you're accusing them of potentially having an STI.
9 What are your thoughts on our relationship being public on social media?
While going 'Facebook official' may be a thing of the past, if it's important to you that your relationship is public on social media then you should definitely consider discussing it with your BAE (ya, I just said bae.) While I don't think that hacking into your boyfriend's Instagram account and uploading a video of the two of you making out is necessarily a good idea I do enjoy a little bit of #relationshipgoals action and maybe your s/o does too.
8 How long do you see our relationship lasting?
When getting into a relationship it's always nice to know that it has the potential to mature and really last long-term- however, we don't recommend asking this question on the first date. When the time is right, there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking a clarifying question about where you and your partner see yourselves as a couple in the future. If your s/o see's your relationship as a summer fling while you're thinking about taking the next step in your relationship, that could pose a bit of a problem. It's important to be on the same page and the only way to do that is through communication.
7 Have you ever had any substance abuse problems?
While this question may seem a little extreme, it's definitely not one that you should ever leave un-asked. Substance abuse problems are very common and can be managed with a proper diagnosis and treatment, if your s/o has had or is currently experiencing problems with substance abuse you should most definitely be aware of it so you can inform yourself and decide which course of action you'd like to take when proceeding with the relationship.
6 Are you snipped or not snipped?
No two penis' are alike but they can be best identified through two categories- circumcised and un-circumcised. While this may not be the most pressing question on this list, it doesn't hurt to ask! Some gals have preferences, and it's always good to know what you're getting into before it gets into you (see what I did there?)
5 Have you ever been arrested?
When considering a future with your s/o, it's crucial that you know their criminal history- and hopefully you find that there isn't one. A history of crime and arrests can greatly affect every move you make, from landing a job to getting a loan so it's key that you're aware if your partner has one or not.
4 Are you in debt?
A bit of post-college debt is very common for most twenty-somethings (and even thirty-somethings) but it becomes a different story when your partner is crippled by bills and are unable to make their own payments let alone create a future with you. Through knowing your s/o's money situation, you'll be better equipped when planning for the future and on a small scale, you'll be able to come up with some realistic date ideas (they'll have to be pretty inexpensive for the meantime.)
3 Do you consider yourself to be sexually adventurous?
The whole world knows that whips and chains excite Rihanna... but what is your partner in to? Sex is an amazing thing and there's definitely nothing wrong with some spontaneity and adventure in the bedroom but having a discussion about your partner's fantasies, wants and needs can heighten the experience for the both of you. While gathering information and researching doesn't seem very sexy, I promise the knowledge you'll gain will be worth it in the end.
2 Do you have a lot of female friends?
Jealousy and possessiveness are very natural emotions in a relationship (to a certain extent.) Knowing how many girl friends your boyfriend has can prepare you for the amount of potential attention he'll be receiving on the regular from other females and on the flip side, when he gets a text from Amanda, you'll know exactly who she is, what her motives are and therefore you won't be as likely to overreact (unless there really is something sketchy going on, then you react away, girl.)
1 What's your phone password?
If you show me yours, I'll show you mine. If your partner requires you to give them the password to your phone or any of your social media accounts, make sure you get their info too (DON'T play the cool girl- trust me.) In my experience, if your s/o is paranoid about the going's on on your phone, then they may be hiding something on theirs- make sure you're just as aware as they are.