In addition to a woman or man coming out, they have to deal with everything that comes along with it. This includes that awkward conversation with the parents, friends and sometimes even a pastor. But that's not where it ends. Many heterosexuals will ask you a lot of probing and invasive questions while generalizing the gay population and forming false assumptions. Even the most open-minded of my peers have questions so that's why I've written out questions so you don't have to ask them publicly. Here are 12 LGBT myths I'm here to dispel.
12 They Will Try To 'Turn You Out'
Although you may be thinking the barista is totally giving you signs she wants you because she asked how many shots of espresso you want, this isn't the case. If she's into you she'll approach you and no she is not trying to turn you out if she does want to hang out as friends. What if someone told you that since you're attracted to men, every man knew they had a chance with you. It doesn't work like that.
11 They Can't Control Their Sexual Desires
There are many who believe that same-sex couples cannot handle their sexual desires. They reduce same-sex interest to perversion. This is not only incorrect, but offensive. Just like heterosexual relationships, there is an emotional base that is just as prominent while courting and maintaining a relationship.
10 No Religious Beliefs
There are plenty of Christians and other denominations who just happen to be attracted to the same sex. It's important not to assume that someone doesn't believe in God just because they're gay. Assuming someone isn't religious because of their sexual preference is extremely naïve.
9 All Gay Men Are Feminine
I know it's fairly difficult to imagine there are masculine gay men out there but yes, they do exist. Not every gay man can do the death drop and not every gay man will want to be your shopping buddy. It's just not everyone's jam. Here is a great checkpoint to remind people that assumptions are never the way to go.
8 Tribadism Is A Thing
This is an imaginary sex position that a heteronormative society created out of sheer ignorance and curiosity while playing with their little sister's barbies. Is LGBT sex still sex? of course it is. A penis shouldn't have to penetrate a vagina in order for it to still be considered sex. Allow your mind to think of ways a woman may receive pleasure from another woman. So glad we can dispel this terrible made-up position.
7 It's Just A Phase
Many people within the LGBT community have heard their family and friends call it a phase when coming out. The reality is that not everyone is into the opposite sex, and because many think of LGBT relationships as illegitimate, lustful, and perverted, it's hard for society to grasp the concept that this could actually amount to the same kind of love that happens between a heterosexual couple. Beautiful, right?
6 There's Always A "Man" and "Woman" In A Same-Sex Relationship
Not every couple operates in a binary construct. This means that there isn't a dubbed man or woman and is most of the time, far more fluid. Sure, one person can be good at something more than another, but that's what comes with a relationship. There's not a designated pant wearer.
5 Lesbians Are Envious Of The Male Member
When you see a lesbian posing "masculine", don't think for a second that she has penis envy. Instead, open your mind to the idea that she enjoys dressing the way that she wants and comfortably. What's more? Most lesbians actually enjoy being a female. Except the ability to urinate standing up, but hey, they've even got products for that.
4 The LGBT Community Is Easily Offended
Lesbians will never come up to you and ask you what it's like to sleep with a man, so don't ask a lesbian what it's like to sleep with a woman. You can probably use your imagination. Also, when you begin to treat the LGBT community like humans with simply a different sexual preference than heteronormativity, then you'll be able to see many LGBT questions posed are about sex and for anyone, that is pretty invasive. Let that marinate.
3 Lesbians Don't Groom
Lesbians will shave by choice, just like any man or woman in the world. I think this myth was created as a marker by heterosexuals to feel more comfortable with who to assume is gay or not. Sorry, Lesbians happen to come in different shapes, sizes, preferences, spiritualities, and hair growth.
2 Lesbians Are Ugly
Just like straight people, you'll get the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Women don't suddenly become lesbians because they couldn't get the guy. If we take a step back at this list, we can see a common thread here. Everything goes back to maleness and how men are the center of each and everything we assemble as myths. There are plenty of beautiful lesbians (butch and femme) that will blow you out of the water.
1 It's Doesn't Count As Doing The Deed
Let sex be defined by the individual. It doesn't take a male unit and penetration to make sex what it is. In fact, think about the last time you've genuinely reached a climax via penetration versus stimulation. According to Ian Kerner, PhD, author of She Comes First, 80% of women cannot orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. Because we often consider penile vaginal intercourse and the man climaxing the definition of sex, we are allowing sex to be dominated by the male party when sex should be mutual. Gay and Lesbian sex is real, and perhaps far more satisfying for the woman.