When Nicki Minaj had her Fashion Week brawl with Cardi B, she wasted no time. "Nicki stopped my bag" merch was available for purchase within a few days, and Nicki had officially launched the new way to throw shade, as High Snobiety reported.
Ariana Grande. Taylor Swift. Justin Bieber. Kylie Jenner. Every single one of them now comes with varying degrees of merch, although some are fresher in our minds than others. "Break up with your girlfriend, I'm bored" sweatshirts are now the lazy way of saying the phrase, although the entire range of Ariana's "Sweetener" merch is basically goals.
Justin Bieber now has a line of merch that's literally just a smiley face. "Drew" might offer slippers and hoodies, but it's turning into a fashion house– and fast. Clothes, clothes, clothes. Teen Mom stars now have their own merch lines. The Kardashians kind of win with selling stuff, but their empires aren't just beauty.
Kimojis. KKW Beauty. KKW Fragrance. Kim Kardashian has been "merching" herself out since day one. Irritatingly, this woman's stuff is actually pretty good. Whether it's empires or small-time deals, there's a little merch for everyone. Then again, some of it just makes absolutely no sense. Either way, though, there's a ton of money to be made.
Anybody raising an eyebrow at Yeezy slides might want to read on. Likewise, anybody who just didn't dig Chris Brown's 2019 "merch attempt." Of these 20, 12 are items we needed, like, yesterday. Then again, eight we still don't get.
20 (Want) 'Sweetener' Merch: Pete's Out The Picture, But We Need Ariana In Our Lives
We've officially reached Ariana Grande mania (and we're loving it). "Thank U, Next" has dropped, Ariana is kicking off her global "Sweetener" tour and our phones are already auto-predicting: "Break up with your girlfriend, I'm bored." There's merch, though.
Ariana was still dating Pete Davidson when she stepped out with some "his 'n hers" merch. For $35, you can get Ari's upside-down "Sweetener" head on your own tee. For $40, you can get "Break up with your girlfriend, I'm bored" as a crewneck.
Yes, it's a bit pricey. But it's so worth it. Why? Because this girl is the first star ever to make a break-up an actual career boost. If you've had it tough, you've earned yourself some Ariana merch.
19 (Want) Penelope Disick's 'What Would North Do' Shirt
The Kardashians are always one step ahead. For the most part these days, it's Kim or Kylie. Don't be fooled into thinking that Kourtney is basic, though. This "OG" mom has been hauling her kids around for nearly 10 years.
"Penelope Disick Wore A "What Would North Do" Tank & It's Too Adorable."
Pretty spot-on, Bustle. When Kourtney and her daughter Penelope stepped out in 2015, the paparazzi made a beeline for a pretty amusing shirt that Penelope seemed to be wearing. Clearly a reference to North West. This shirt might not have been for sale to the general public, but we wanted it then (and we want it now).
18 (Pass) $150 Nylon Yeezy Slides, Especially When They Don't Fit
It isn't a KimYe appearance without a curveball. One minute, it's Kim Kardashian posing next to Louis Vuitton trash cans. The next, it's Kim posing in a bikini for those "baking" IG pics. In 2018, Kim and Kanye hit the Versace Mansion in Miami for 2 Chainz's wedding.
"Headline: Twitter Melts Down Over Kanye West Wearing TINY Yeezy Slides At 2 Chainz's Wedding"
When Cosmo covered the Twitter response to Kanye's small slides, we noticed two things. One, do Yeezy slides really go with a Louis Vuitton suit and a wedding occasion? Two, those things cost $150? For a piece of nylon, we'll stick to Walmart.
17 (Want): Justin Bieber's 'Drew' Line Seems Super-Comfy
Justin Bieber managed to go from "kind of cool" to insanely cool overnight. With that weird, unkempt vibe that seems to have bagged him Hailey Baldwin, the "Sorry" singer doesn't seem to have much to be sorry about. The Biebs is officially #Awesome.
"Justin Bieber Creates IG Account For New Clothing Line, Follows Only Himself." That was Elle's headline (via Yahoo), as the magazine covered Justin Bieber's new "Drew" clothing line. What's in it? A lot of smileys, apparently.
Drew is Justin's middle name. Finally, it makes sense. With fluffy slippers, fun hoodies and a vibe that we can't help but dig, this is a line of merch we are totally buying into.
16 (Want) Unless You're Team Cardi, #PrettyFunny
In 2018, Nicki Minaj and Cardi B took their beef to a whole other level in a Fashion Week catfight. Shoes were flying, dresses were ripped and Vanity Fair reports Nicki saying: "I could not believe how [bad] it all felt."
Nicki wasted no time to cash in on the incident, though. A line of merch was for sale within days, and we've got to say, it was pretty creative. "Nicki stopped my bag" backpacks, as CNN reports, referred to the slang phrase "securing the bag."
If you're a Minaj fan, chances are you're vibing with her attitude. Precisely why you buy yourself one of her bags to show your support.
15 (Pass) Chris Brown's Merch After His Accusations, #NotFunny
Chris Brown is one of the few celebs who has managed to get over his past. In 2009, Chris's behavior towards his then-girlfriend Rihanna made headlines. In 2019, it was an accusation for behavior against another woman, which Chris vehemently denied, Complex reports. Merch came, saying the woman was "lying."
The Daily Beast called this "Chris Brown's new low." Remember the Rihanna incident in 2009? Yeah, this guy comes with some baggage.
T-Shirts that mock another celeb might be funny, but this just wasn't. While Chris called the accusations "false and a whole lot of [garbage]," putting out merch saying the woman in question is a "liar" is going one step too far.
14 (Want) Astroworld Merch, Because Travis Scott Is Straight-Up Awesome
"Astroworld" may be one of the greatest rap albums of our era. Travis Scott's signature auto-tuned beats feature Drake, they mention Louis Vuitton and the sound is just awesome. Come to think of it, so is the merch.
In 2019, Kylie Jenner threw Stormi the mother of all birthday bashes. A picture of her small head was enlarged into a mash-up of Stormi x "Sicko Mode," although it's unlikely you want a house-sized head of Travis.
There's a happy medium. It's called "Astroworld" merch. This pic of Kylie wearing it showed us that even the most glam of girls can dress down (although Jordyn Woods being in the picture may be something Kylie is now less keen on).
13 (Want) A Throwback To When Kylie Was 'Like, Realizing Stuff'
Life Of Kylie– remember that? Okay, so probably not, but the short-lived show didn't come without its headlines. Pre-Stormi, and kind of pre-Kylie growing up, Life Of Kylie wasn't best received.
"Kylie Jenner said she felt bad that she never drove her Lambo. I wish I had those problems." Twitter wasn't impressed.
Feeling guilty because your Lamborghini doesn't get as much attention as your Ferrari is precisely what we expected from the old Kylie. That era also came with its merch. "Like, realizing stuff" was probably Kylie's most-chronicled quote. It was, indeed, her "thoughts" on life. We just want this for the LOLs.
12 (Pass) A Throwback To When Kanye Was 'Life Of Pablo'
In 2015, a surprising report surfaced. The Metro reported that a "rule" imposed by Kanye West on his wife meant that she had to "look mesmerized by his genius." It came with a rumor of Kim's "gaze" not being able to leave the stage.
"Life of Pablo" might seem a while back, but the iconic Kanye West album still has its slot in history. Of course, there was merch. Kim and Kourtney were both papped wearing "Pablo" shirts, alongside denim jackets with "Pablo" scrawled on the back.
Fan or not, there is such a thing as too much Kanye West. Kim didn't look massively smiley here in "Pablo" merch, although this woman gets a gold medal for supporting her husband. We'll pass.
11 (Want) Gigi Hadid's 'Lol Ur Not Zayn Malik' Tee
Google "lol ur not zayn malik," and you'll get a ton of shopping results. The 2016 tee worn by Gigi Hadid became a viral sensation overnight, and we've got to say, it's pretty amusing. Gigi Hadid and Zayn Malik might be #OnOff, but they've been a couple since 2016.
When Look tried to break down the meaning of the tee, the magazine quoted a social media response from Zayn that said, "Thas ma girl." Look then suggested the "possibility that it could’ve been a sly dig at her ex-boyfriend Joe Jonas."
We don't want this to throw shade at a Jonas brother. We just want the tee. Also, maybe a version tweaked with "zayn malik" to our own guy's name?
10 (Want) Our Boyfriends In This, #ThanksKatyPerry
No, it isn't a giant statement. It isn't even massively innovative. When it comes to Katy Perry though, everything is awesome. The "Roar" singer is basically the embodiment of feminine empowerment. Katy has launched pixie cut trends, ushered in a new era of pop, and we love her.
The guys? Oh, they're digging Perry. What they're doing less of though, is wearing her merch. For some reason, they'll happily stalk Katy's IG, but that's where it ends.
We'd pitch this to Katy if we could: Bring out men's merch that challenges guys to openly admit they love Katy Perry. Then we'd make our boyfriends wear it. Sounds like a plan.
9 (Want) To Be Able To Waste Our Money On Kimojis
"Racking in a lot of money." When Complex covered Kim Kardashian's innovative "Kimoji" apps, the media outlet didn't mince its words. Kim has basically become part of our daily vocab. We search for gifs of her simply to express our own reactions.
"Kim Kardashian's Emoji App Is Making About $1 Million Per Minute." A part of you doesn't want to contribute (but the other half so wishes you could just for fun, right?)
Complex's report kind of took us aback. Then again, this is the woman who made $5 million "in 5 minutes" from her fragrances, Glamour reports. Waste of money? Totally. Still want it? Kind of!
8 (Pass) The Overpriced Lip Kit That's Earned Kylie $900 Million
It might be the greatest marketing game ever seen. Kylie Jenner was still a teenager when she admitted to having a few enhancements here and there, but the damage was done. Teens around the world were already idolizing Kylie's full pout– she had to cash in.
$310 for a bundle. $29 for a Lip Kit. Yes, it's Kylie Cosmetics, but you can find similar at CVS for under $8.
Kylie Cosmetics has earned Kylie Jenner $900 million. It was enough to land her a Forbes cover. Kylie owns 100% of the company, but she's owning our minds. Unless you've already made up your mind, sure you want to buy in?
7 (Want) Fenty Beauty, Because RiRi
Celeb hair and makeup lines are a dime a dozen these days. Jessica Simpson sells brushes. The Real Housewives of Atlanta star Porsha Williams sells fake hair. Blac Chyna sells lashes. Rihanna's Fenty Beauty line is no ordinary makeup line, though.
"Looking at you is the fix, Highlight of my life, just like that Fenty Beauty kit." Even Ariana Grande drops Fenty Beauty into her lyrics.
Harper's Bazaar reports that Fenty Beauty will "out-sell" both KKW Beauty and Kylie Cosmetics. It's got 50 shades (and they aren't grey). Rihanna comes with the tutorials, the beauty and a little something that means we just need Fenty Beauty in our lives.
6 (Pass) We Love Her, But We Don't Need Snooki Mugs
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi has come a long way. The Jersey Shore days of orange perma-tan and leopard prints are now a distant memory. Snooki is expecting her third baby, it's Jersey Shore: Family Vacation and this girl grew up.
Much like the Teen Mom cast, it looks like Snooki couldn't resist launching a little merch. The Snooki Shop is mostly clothes and shoes, but look online and you will see mugs, tumblers and a veritable mishmash of household items with Snooki's name.
Yes, a new mug is handy. One with Snooki's name on it? Unless you can really stick a pin on the point of it all, we just don't get it.
5 (Want) Weirdly, Maci Bookout's 'Things That Matter' Athleisurewear
Teen Mom has become a bit of a thing. Once a show that we'd watch "because nothing else was on," the 16 and Pregnant franchise that's now Teen Mom 2 and Teen Mom OG is prime time television. Alongside Caitlynn Lowell and Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout is now a major star.
"Things That Matter" is Macy and her husband, Taylor's, clothing line. Offering super-comfy-looking athleisurewear at reasonable prices, the brand speaks for people who want "what matters to them."
Yes, it's a push. At the same time, a part of us wants to support the lower-profile celebs. Tough one. We want the Biebs's stuff (but we also kind of want this).
4 (Pass) $400 Sock Booties And $300 Sock Knit Bras From Yeezy
It's a tough one with Yeezy. Ebay is basically exploding with people reselling limited edition Yeezy sneakers. With Taylor Swift, Gigi Hadid and Justin Bieber all wearing the footwear, it's clear that this shoe line is "in." The clothes? Again, tough.
Ariana Grande wears a lot of Yeezy. Those giant, khaki hoodies you see her wearing with boots? They're mostly Yeezy. Hop over to The Yeezy Supply website though, and you'll have a big surprise at the prices.
$300 for a tiny Sock Knit Bra. Sock booties for around $400. While there are tees for $60, the Kanye line that Kim and Kylie keep promoting doesn't come cheap. Honestly, at these prices, we just don't get it.
3 (Pass) Forking Out Big Bucks For Scott Disick's 'Talentless' Range
It's weird, right? We've reached the point where "basic" is both a criticism and a form of praise. We want stuff deconstructed. We want it raw. Yeezy and Good American are selling like hot cakes– precisely because they're pared-down.
Scott Disick seems to spend most of his time co-parenting his three kids with Kourtney Kardashian. Well, that and gallivanting around with Sofia Richie. He's got his merch, though.
"Talentless" is the clothing line that Scott has founded. Sweats are $198. Long-sleeved tees are $58. For $18 less, you can get an Ariana Grande crewneck. Somehow, we're not vibing on this Kardashian merch.
2 (Want) The Minute Ariana Posted This Belt Bag, #SoNotDone With This Merch
Ariana Grande recently updated her IG with a security message. Remembering the Manchester 2017 incident, we can kind of see why. The clear plastic bags fans must bring if attending Ari's "Sweetener" tour are, as she says, "super cheap and simple."
"Having them ahead of time will for sure help things go as smooth as possible so if you see this in your emails please don’t ignore it!” Does that fanny pack count?
Shop Ari merch, and you're going down the rabbit hole. There's so much (and you want it all). While we were eyeing up the pink Chanel bodysuit (that Kim K has worn) here, we zoomed right in on the "Sweetener" merch.
1 (Pass) Kylie X Jordyn, Cashing In On Drama, #Meh
The minute Jordyn Woods's name found its way in the Khloe and Tristan drama, The Daily Mail was reporting that Kylie had "slashed" the price of her Kylie x Jordyn collection. Jordyn Woods is now front-page news (and we're secretly loving the drama).
Starting at $17 for a lipstick, the Kylie Cosmetics collaboration that seems to offer Jordyn's name (and not much else) is leaving us a bit stumped. Buying Kylie Cosmetics because you love Kylie? Fair enough. Wading in to make it her entire extended family and BFF? We don't get it.
For Jordyn and Kylie, we'll enjoy these two with popcorn from the couch. The makeup? We'll grab a lipstick from CVS if that's okay.
Sources: High Snobiety, Bustle, Vanity Fair, The Daily Mail, Complex, The Metro