If you watch TV like it’s going out of style and it’s your absolute favorite thing in the world, then congrats, you’re definitely addicted to television. But that’s okay, because if you had to be addicted to something, it’s a pretty harmless vice. Plus there’s the fact that we’re in the Golden Age of Television and so many magical and amazing new shows seem to be appearing every single week. You’re really hoping that this Golden Age lasts the rest of your life, because you can’t imagine living in a world where being in love with TV wasn’t super cool and normal, too. Your addiction is kind of starting to take over your life, though. Your friends are starting to wonder if you’re ever going to talk about something other than your new obsession and if you do anything other than watch TV. You do – you have a job like any other normal functioning human being – but you kind of wish watching TV was actually your job. Here are 11 things that happen when you’re a TV addict.
11 You Haven’t Left Your Apartment In Weeks
Your butt is basically permanently planted to your couch at this point and you’re considering getting food delivered for every meal like Joey and Chandler did once on an episode of Friends. It’s a genius idea. Your friends are starting to worry and think you might be becoming slightly anti-social, but they can gossip all they want. You don’t care. You’re too busy getting lost in beautiful fictional worlds and fantasizing about living in some of them, like Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls. Wouldn’t that be the greatest town to live in?
10 You Never See Movies
You have a confession to make: when you go to the movie theatre, which is basically never at this point, you feel like you’re cheating on television. You know that’s pretty irrational, but you’re kind of serious. Because of your TV watching, you’ve totally lost your desire to go to the movies. You just don’t enjoy movies as much. You’re out of the loop when it comes to any Oscar-nominated movies, and you can’t even remember the last movie you watched. Oh well. There are so many TV shows calling your name that you don’t even really care.
9 You Become A Gym Addict
You would think that the gym and being obsessed with TV are polar opposites, but they actually get along pretty well. That’s because if you love watching a ton of TV on a regular basis, you have to work out or you’ll end up gaining about a million pounds (and no one wants that). You justify all your binge-watching with the fact that you work out several times a week. You’re pretty smart because the “sitting disease” is a real thing and experts warn against spending too many hours sitting down.
8 You Have A Never-Ending List
You know it’s probably not possible to watch every show ever made, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to give it the honest try. Your list of shows to watch is super long and growing by the minute. Every time an actor wins a Golden Globe or Emmy and you haven’t seen that show yet, you write it down. You should probably start categorizing your list by sitcom, drama, etc. to make things easier on yourself. But that would take forever because there are just so many shows you plan on viewing.
7 Recommendations Make You Anxious
Okay, so your BFF just said that you absolutely have to watch The X-Files and your boss recommended some obscure British comedy to you. When people give you TV recommendations, instead of getting super excited to discover a new show, you get super anxious instead. You start feeling badly about the fact that you haven’t watched this supposedly incredible show yet and you start worrying that there must be tons of series that you’re missing out on. Then you think there just aren’t enough hours in the day to watch it all and that seriously bums you out.
6 You’re On A First-Name Basis With Netflix
Everyone loves Netflix, but you feel like you love it so much more. You start binging new shows the moment they appear on this magical streaming service and you can watch a new Netflix series in an impressively short amount of time. You’re always trying to break a new record because you’re so into TV you’ve become kind of competitive. There’s so much to watch on Netflix from new content to classic shows, but you’re almost at the point where you’re running out of new stuff to get excited about. You’re trying not to think about that, though, because it’s seriously stressing you out.
5 Characters Are Your Best Friends
You talk about Alicia from The Good Wife and Rayna from Nashville like they’re your best friends. Because, in your eyes, they totally are. You consider all of your fave character friends because you spend so much time with them, night after night, week after week. Sometimes your friends think you’re telling a super dramatic story about someone real, and then sigh and roll their eyes when they learn you’re going on and on about a fake person. But that person isn’t fake to you, so you hate when they say that. Sigh. Some people just don’t get you.
4 You Can’t Separate Fact From Fiction
You often find yourself referencing something that you think is a memory and then you pause, embarrassed, because you realize that happened on a show you saw once. You know you’re definitely a total TV addict when you have a hard time separating fact from fiction. You almost feel like you’ve lived all these other lives and are related to all these characters. Any TV mom or sister could be your own mom or sister, and you already feel like you’re a member of the Friends cast, you’ve watched this classic sitcom so many times.
3 You Fantasize About Jobs
If you’ve ever wanted to be a doctor because it looks so dramatic and fun and important on Grey’s Anatomy, you’re not alone. In fact, real doctors hate that shows like this glamourize the industry and even say a lot of the episodes aren’t being realistic when it comes to what would actually happen. You don’t just want to be a doctor, though – that’s for TV-watching amateurs. No, you want to be an ad exec like the gang on Mad Men, you want to be a high school football coach or high school principal like Eric and Tami Taylor on Friday Night Lights, and you can’t even count the number of times you thought that TV made being a lawyer look so cool.
2 You Actually Like Reality TV
No, really. You actually do. You know it’s supposedly cool to shun this genre and claim you’re above it because everyone knows there’s nothing real about reality TV. But you don’t care because you find it super fun. You love the crazy ladies of the Real Housewives franchise, you could be a member of the Big Brother house, and you cringe-watch The Bachelor along with all of Twitter. You’ve gone so far as to never go on a second date with someone who makes fun of your reality TV addiction. Hey, you can’t date someone who just doesn’t get it.
1 You Enjoy Being Single
Sure, you want to find a relationship eventually, but right now your priorities are all about finishing every episode of Grey’s Anatomy so you’re all caught up when the current season returns on February 11. You like being single because it means you have total and utter freedom to watch whatever you want, when you want. If you want to stay up until 3 a.m. on the weekend and binge something, you can. If you want to stay in on a Friday evening, you can. You’re not insulting anyone or being anti-social, you’re just having fun. Nothing wrong with that.