Innovative beauty and self-enhancing products shouldn’t come as a surprise in a multi-billion dollar industry where competition is vast, but in a world where inventors have to think outside of the box, gadgets are becoming increasingly bizarre. Thanks to everything on social media and magazines showing women and men how they need to improve, beauty companies are on the rise with a way to fix everything. Every year, there is an overabundance of money dedicated to research and development to solve so called beauty problems: Thin lips, thick thighs, small behind, bad skin, crooked nose, chubby cheeks and smelly breasts? Um...yes, even that. Where there is demand, there is supply and the demanding market is primarily women, quell surprise. Check out the following 11 products that are too weird to be true but they may just make your existence in this world a little more enjoyable.
11 Edible Deodorant
Yes, you read that correctly. You know how perspiring skin smells after garlic, curry or spicy foods? Well imagine your skin secreting something sweet instead, such as candy. Yes, you read that correctly too. Thanks to Beneo, a Belgium-based company that helped develop the product, you can now ingest the supposedly tasty Deo Perfume candy, and then experience a rose scent discharging through the skin pores. The main ingredient, Geraniol which is an alcohol found in rose petals is commonly used in perfumes. The product study also suggests that it may repel mosquitoes. Do you really want to eat mosquito repellent disguised as candy? The company claims it isn’t harmful to eat but what’s wrong with sticking to the tried and true deodorant? If it ain't broke, don’t fix it!
10 Breast Gymnastics Hand Massager
Where do people come up with these product names? This odd looking contraption is said to eliminate a saggy bust by massaging them back into place with some kind of breast gymnastics. For years, women plagued by drooping boobs would run to get plastic surgery for an uplift or as a cheaper alternative, use creams, take pills or eat yam which supposedly has breast enhancing properties. Needless to say, we’ve reached a whole other level with this strange product but perhaps you should adopt the ‘I’ll try anything once’ attitude, or better yet, perhaps you should just accept your breasts as they are.
9 Facial Slimmer
Perhaps I have a dirty mind, but am I the only one who thinks this looks a little obscene? Obviously by its name, this product promises to deliver a slimmer face by means of ‘face yoga’. For a mere 3 minutes a day, simply put it into your mouth, and speak vowels: A..E..I..O..U or say the alphabet, then gradually watch your crows feet and smile lines vanish. So I get rid of my chipmunk cheeks and get a bonus wrinkle remover? SOLD! Looks odd I’ll admit, but no more odd than all the money people spend on creams every year to find the magic potion for youthful skin.
8 Fresh Boobs
So you’ve got fresh breath, fresh feet, why not get fresh breasts and fresh balls while you’re at it? For only $11.99 you can now buy a pair. Yep, you’ll never have to worry about your privates sweating again…well sweating maybe but not ‘smelling’ am I the only one who never had smelly breasts? Apparently a lack of fresh privates isn’t an openly talked about problem but under the company’s product description of ‘Fresh Breasts’, they proclaim women will no longer have to awkwardly cross their arms to hide their most embarrassing boob sweat. Unlike the edible deodorant, you simply apply the lotion to breasts and watch it dry. According to the company, the benefits are: saying goodbye to messy powders, applying it as a soothing cream, and that it dries as a cooling, silky, non-talc powder. Hmm…contradictory much? I’ll just use powder then, thanks.
7 Nose Shape Changing Devices
Do you have a crooked, unsightly nose that you can’t stand to look at? Instead of an expensive and painful nose job, why not try a nose shaper with absolutely no downtime? It’s amazing what lengths people will go to, to enhance their looks short of going to plastic surgery. Nose shape changing devices are right out of the torture chamber medieval era and do to the nose, what retainers do to the teeth. The Hana Tsun Nose Straightener proclaims to give you a straighter, more defined nose in only 20 minutes of use per day. From the looks of it, a clothing pin may work just as well.
6 Post-Poo Drops
Because aromatic sprays and plug-ins no longer work, introducing the drops that will give the illusion that your poop doesn’t stink. Post-Poo drops by Aesop, were invented to neutralize disagreeable smells and nothing’s more disagreeable than feces, really. The scent is a mix of citrus and floral and potent enough to combat the stench with only three dispensed drops in the toilet bowl post flush. If you really want to ensure no one knows what you did in the bathroom, put extra drops in the hand basin to intensify the aroma. This is a thoughtful product that considers more than just the person using it but for a whopping $40 dollars, it should.
5 Sushi Smelling Cologne
Demeter’s reputation for original fragrances is renowned. If you want to smell like a laundromat, rain, dirt or cannabis (yes, weed) Demeter can make that happen. They can also make you smell like your favorite food: ‘sushi’. Sometimes we’re thrown off by the name of the perfume and it smells surprisingly good. In this case, the reviews for this sushi cologne are quite funny to read such as ‘smells like a California roll’. This perfume is a combination of rice, seaweed, ginger and lemon, some say it smells more like citrus than anything else (phewf). The cheaper option is eating a ton of sushi and hope it seeps through the skin like candy deodorant.
4 Fart Much
There’s an app for that. Well not an app, but a product anyway. The Flat-D Reusable Flatulence Deodorizer might be the remedy you’re looking for if you’re tired of passing gas and having the people around you smell it. This odor absorbing pad traps the air and oh ya, another selling point is that it’s reusable. Yeesh. Consider this similar to a menstrual pad except attached to the buttocks area of the underwear. The product claims to be safe and very effective. Thankfully it’s also undetectable because how does one explain the bulging panty is a reusable fart deodorizer. On a serious note however, this product can be useful to anyone suffering from IBS, gastric bypass surgery, diabetes, Crohn's Disease and other gastrointestinal diseases.
3 Lip Thickening Tool
Thanks Angelina Jolie, for making everyone with thin lips feel inferior. Ready to experience a plump, full mouth for even just a few hours? Now you can pump up the volume with the Fullips Lip Enhancer Tool. Hundreds of reviews and many before and after photos present proof that this definitely works. The beauty product comes in three different sizes and will temporarily thicken thin, medium and already full lips. Simply suck in short puffs of air for about 15-30 seconds once placing it over your entire lip area. Your newfound lip size will depend on how long you use it: longer use, fuller lips.
2 Snail Sleeping Mask
The concept of a facial mask is nothing new, but a snail slime mask is pretty unusual. The Missha Super Aqua Cell Renew Snail Series sleeping mask includes 15% snail slime extract Snail Slime extracts of healthy snails born within 5-6 months and Botanical Stem Cells which promise to give skin vitality, supply energy to skin cells and rejuvenate the skin while sleeping. The results sound fantastic but I’ll admit it’s hard to wrap my brain around the idea of snail slime. Then again, some of us eat the darn creatures, so technically this isn’t as bad. Needless to say, snail slime contains potent healing and regenerative powers when applied directly to the skin, so benefits can be seen by anyone recovering from skin damage.
1 Breast Enlarging Cookies
Want to kill two birds with one stone and enjoy eating delicious cookies while adding cup sizes to your breasts? Supposedly this is possible with the Japanese manufactured Fcup cookies. Taken only twice a day, this cookie may prevent breast enhancement surgery by resulting in bust growth but any more than two, and it may result in overall body growth; after all, the extra calories have to go somewhere. This cookie creation contains a herb that promises to make the breasts larger although let’s not assume you’ll actually grow to an F cup – keep in mind that in Japanese terms, an F cup is about and American double D.