Women often say that even on their very first date with their now husband, they just knew that it was going to last and they would get married someday. It was something about the way that he talked to them, his overall demeanor, or just a feeling that they had and couldn't really explain.
First dates can be something as simple as grabbing a cup of coffee and chatting for an hour, or they can be a bit more elaborate and involve a fancy dinner plus a movie, play, or concert. Everyone has different opinions about what makes an epic first date, but everyone can agree that they are full of a lot of stress and pressure. It can be hard to make a good impression, even when a person the funniest and most interesting person around, thanks to all the nerves that are rushing through them.
Can a girl really tell if a guy is husband material when she goes on her first date with him? Yes, she definitely can—just like there are certain things that he will say or do that won't help a lady make up her mind. Here are 10 ways to tell if he's husband material on the first date along with 10 things that won't make much difference.
20 How To Tell: He Treats You With Respect
It's super important that you enter into a relationship with a guy who treats you with respect. This is definitely something that will become clear on the first date.
If this guy is respectful toward you, then you might be thinking that someday, if things work out, you two could be walking down the aisle.
He'll show you respect in a few different ways: he'll listen when you talk, he'll nod and smile and honestly show that he finds what you have to say fascinating, and he'll let you order first. He'll want you to have a nice time and will care a lot about that.
19 No Difference: He Holds Doors Open And Is A Polite Gentleman
It seems easy to assume that someone who is a total gentleman (and who opens doors, pushes your chair in, and all that romantic jazz) would be husband material. But it might not actually make much difference in the long run.
It's possible that a guy who acts this way is a nice, decent person, but it's also possible that he's just trying to be charming, especially since this is the first date. He could be trying too hard to make a good first impression and these small acts might have nothing to do with his potential as a life partner.
18 How To Tell: He Seems Very Comfortable And At Home
When people talk about how they knew that their partner was the one for them, they often say "He or she makes me feel at home." It's a really nice feeling to have and it's especially welcome when you've been dating for a while and can't believe how hard it is to find your soulmate.
When you're on a first date, take note if this guy seems comfortable and at home with you.
If he does, that's a step in a positive direction, and it could point to him being husband material. At the very least, it shows that you two have a good vibe going on and that more dates are most likely going to happen. Even if you think someone is nice or funny, you don't always feel comfortable with them, so this is a big deal.
17 No Difference: He Doesn't Check His Phone Or Make Any First Date Mistakes
Everyone knows the clear dating dealbreakers and things that are red flags. You hear from the media and your friends that you shouldn't go on a second date if a guy is rude to a waitress or if he checks his phone in front of you.
The fact that this guy isn't checking his phone, texting a friend, or generally making any first date mistakes doesn't mean much, though. It's easy to get caught up in how perfect or well-behaved someone seems... and yet, this doesn't really say much about his personality or show that he's a good match. You still might not vibe or get along with him.
16 How To Tell: He Has A Great Job, Hobbies, And Generally Has It All Together
Even though every woman is different when it comes to what she wants her future husband to be like, chances are, she wants him to look like this: he has hobbies, interests, a good job, and he has it all together.
No woman wants to date someone who seems immature or has any negative personality traits.
It's definitely great when you go on a first date and see that the guy has all of these things. While of course, it's no guarantee that wedding bells will ring, it's a good way to tell that he at least has husband potential. You don't feel that he needs to change anything about himself or his life, and you respect and admire him.
15 No Difference: He Wants To See You Again
You're solo and you've been dating for a few years now. In that span of time, you've attended friends' weddings (and maybe even been a bridesmaid or Maid of Honor a few times), you've listened to their love stories, and you've tried not to feel envious.
No one would blame you for getting super excited when you go on a first date and the guy asks you out a second time. It's definitely good news (well, if you like them, of course) but it wouldn't show that he's got potential as a life partner. The second date might not go as well as the first, which unfortunately happens.
14 How To Tell: He Cares Deeply About His Family And Friends
It's awesome when you go on a first date and realize that the guy really cares about his family and his friends.
This makes him so endearing and attractive and makes you realize that if you two actually started seriously dating, he would apply his loyalty and compassion to the relationship.
This is definitely something that many women look out for when searching for someone to share their lives with. If you're someone with a close-knit group of friends who also sees their family a lot, then you would want a boyfriend (and hopefully, later, a husband) who feels the same way.
13 No Difference: He Has Goals For The Future
It seems great when a guy has goals for the future, but the problem is that he might have strict goals for himself that don't include marriage (or even being in a long-term relationship with someone). He might want to travel, he might have a specific place where he wants to move once he saves up enough money, or he could have any number of dreams.
While it's better for someone to have future goals than to dislike thinking about it and want to avoid it at all costs, it's unfortunately not much of an indicator of his husband potential.
12 How To Tell: There Are Honestly No Red Flags And It Feels Right
Being a solo woman means thinking about red flags quite a lot. You go on first dates and then text your friends that there was a red flag or there weren't any at all, and they text you the same things after their own first dates.
Can you say that there were no red flags at all on the first date that you just went on?
Would you say that it feels right? If you can answer those questions with a big "yes" then you might have just met the guy who will one day be your husband. It's a good sign when everything feels really good from the start.
11 No Difference: His Friends Are All Married
It doesn't make much difference if a guy's friends are all married. Even if he keeps telling you on the first date that his buddies have gotten hitched and you think that means that he's ready for marriage, it doesn't always mean that.
It's possible that he doesn't believe in marriage or want to get married. If you kept dating him, you might realize that he actually only has negative things to say about the whole thing, and he complains a lot about his married friends. It's too bad but it won't prove that he's husband material and could mean the opposite.
10 How To Tell: After Leaving The Date, You Can't Wait To See Him Again And Can't Stop Thinking About Him
How you feel when you're actually on the first date is super important and how you feel after you leave is just as key. It might even be more crucial in terms of figuring out what the next step should be.
Are you so happy because it was such a great date and you feel like you can't wait to see him again?
Is he on your mind constantly and it's hard to think about anything else? These are really good signs that you like this guy a lot and that you have met someone special. You definitely want to feel this way about someone who you're considering getting to know better. Married couples don't exactly say that they never thought about each other again after the first date, right?
9 No Difference: He Has Lived With Someone Before
Let's say you've been solo for a few years and have met lots of different types of guys. Some have been awesome and yet it didn't work out because of timing or other things, and it was clear that others weren't right for you from the start.
It's easy to think that because a guy has lived with someone before, he's ready for something serious and he's ready to do that again. It's also easy to assume that this means that he would not only want to get married but he would be a great husband. But this really doesn't mean much because he could have been a nightmare to live with or not the best boyfriend.
8 How To Tell: It Feels Real And Not Too Good To Be True
Sometimes, when something feels too good to be true, that's because it is. That sucks and it would be great if that never happened, but it unfortunately does.
If you go on a first date with a guy who keeps saying that he's having a good time and thinks that you could be a great girlfriend, he's probably too good to be true.
He could be way too charming and not actually a nice person, or he could be pretending to be someone else. On the other hand, if you go on a first date and think, "This feels totally real" and it doesn't feel too good to be true, then you might be looking at your future husband. Things are progressing at a good pace that isn't being forced.
7 No Difference: He's Super Chatty, In A Good Mood, And Laughs A Lot
Have you ever been on a first date that felt like it went really well? The guy was super chatty and he laughed a lot. He thought your jokes were hilarious, he liked everything that you had to say, and it was a nice change from other dates where it felt like nothing was going right at all.
It would be so amazing if this always meant that you two would go on a second date and it would turn into a serious relationship. Unfortunately, as you've probably experienced before, a great first date can turn into a bad second one, and it can be pretty meaningless in terms of suggesting a relationship. It's definitely frustrating when this happens.
6 How To Tell: The Date Feels So Short You Can't Believe It
They say that time flies when you're having fun, and while that might be a pretty cheesy statement, it's honestly how you want to feel when you go on a first date, right?
When you're telling your girlfriends how the evening went, you don't exactly want to say, "It felt like five hours when it was only one. We had the worst time."
You want to say something along the lines of, "We spent five hours together and it felt like one. I can't believe how well we got along." This is a great sign that the two of you are on the right track since you can spend hours hanging out and it feels so amazing.
5 No Difference: He Says He Believes In Commitment
Even if a guy tells us that he believes in commitment, it doesn't mean that he's going to commit to us. He could just be saying it because he thinks that we want to hear it.
Or, he really could believe it when he says it on the first date and we could start dating.... but after a few months, we realize that he's not actually ready for a relationship right now. He could say that he wants a girlfriend and we assume that one day, he wants to get married, but then it's clear that this isn't really going anywhere.
4 How To Tell: It Feels Like You're Actually On The Same Page About Life Plans And Values
First dates are a great place to talk about the things that you believe in. You get to be yourself, talk about your values, and share the plans that you have for your life.
It's not only awesome and feels pretty lucky when you're on a first date with someone who is on the same page as you about all of this stuff, but it's also an indicator that he's husband material.
You both want to hustle hard right now and save money so you can buy a condo or house in the future, or you want to start a side business that will eventually become your full-time gig. You can both relate to each other about your life goals, and that's really cool.
3 No Difference: He Asks Us Lots Of Questions And Seems Interested In Learning About Who We Are
Even though people joke that first dates involve way too many questions and it seems like you're interviewing each other, it's hard to imagine a date where you didn't answer questions about yourself.
There's a huge difference in someone asking us where we went to college or what we do in terms of exercise because he feels that he has to and someone asking us about ourselves because he really wants to know. Even still, just because he seems interested in getting to know us doesn't make him husband material. He could just be polite or he dates a lot so he knows how to behave on a first date.
2 How To Tell: You Have A Ton In Common With Each Other
While not every husband and wife have a lot of things in common with each other, it does help a relationship bloom when you can honestly say that you like similar things.
What you love and dislike is pretty important since it has a lot to do with how you spend your time and what your personality is like.
If you both love being in nature a lot and don't like to sit still, that can help the relationship since you would be able to relate to each other and have fun together. Since getting married is the biggest commitment that you can make to someone, you know that by the time you get engaged you want to feel like you two are always on the same page and can always spend time together. This might be one way to get there.
1 No Difference: He Pays For The Date
Sure, you can absolutely pay for any date that you go on, and yet there's still the belief out there that the guy takes care of the check on the first date.
That being said, if a guy pays for the first date, it might be polite and chivalrous, but it doesn't make him husband material. It really just means that he felt that this was the right thing to do. It's not as big an indicator as some of the other things on this list. While it's really nice of him, it's much better to look out for some other signs that he could be the one who you have been waiting and looking for.