Dating can be tough, especially when it comes to the first date. First dates are nerve-racking because we don't know what to expect since we still need to get to know the guy. Finding the right outfit or deciding on conversation topics can be stressful. On the first date, you'll want to impress him, and it's good to know that there are simple ways which will make him want a second date.
There are things that will turn him off, though. For example, he won't like it if you're always on your phone or taking selfies. Likewise, if you come across as rude, it'll turn him off, and the same goes for oversharing about your life. He wants to get to know you, but not all at once!
Dating can become more comfortable once we know what we should do to keep him, so here are some important dos and don'ts for the first date.
20 Do: Offer To Split The Bill Or Pay For Something
In the modern day, it's not crucial that a guy pays for every date. It'll make him happy if you pay for what you ordered or if you split the bill. If he wants to pay for the meal, it's okay, but you can still offer to pay for a coffee, or suggest paying for the next date. He'll appreciate it, as it shows him you're generous. If he feels he has to pay for everything all the time, it'll get awkward, especially if you make it clear you don't want to pay for anything at all. As the saying goes, sharing is caring!
19 Don't: Boost Yourself Or Bring Him Down
Nerves can get the best of us, and we tend to talk more when we're nervous. However, it's not okay if you're always bragging about your achievements and leaving no room for him to talk about his.
Yes, mention some of your accomplishments but don't make the whole date about you. Give him a chance to share things with you!
Another thing he won't like is if you're judging him about things, such as if he's not holding his cutlery right or if you're correcting him every single time about his grammar. It'll annoy him, so it's a definite no-no on a first date.
18 Do: Impress Him With The Venue
If you're the one planning the date, the easy job of picking a venue will impress him. It doesn't need to be a fancy restaurant as he'll probably be happier with a date that had a lot of thought put into it. For instance, a picnic is not the norm, and it'll show you put a lot of effort into planning the date.
Don't choose going to the movies as your first date activity because you won't be able to have a conversation.
Even a simple dinner is a better idea, especially if it's a romantic one by candlelight.
17 Don't: Plan Long-Term Goals
The DTR (define the relationship) talk should only happen later on. If you mention anything about the future on the first date, it'll scare him off more than anything else. According to The Independent, the topics that turn him off are marriage and children. It's too soon to discuss these as you are only getting to know each other.
If you're too intense, it'll overwhelm him, and the date will get awkward quickly.
Take it slowly, and down the line, he may be willing to have the relationship talk.
16 Don't: Overshare Every Detail
The date will turn sour very quickly if you overshare about your life. He doesn't want to know about lousy dating stories or why you were unsuccessful in love. Stick to questions as these provide safer conversation topics. Another thing to avoid is talking about your ex. If you're always bringing him up in conversation, it'll make your date wonder if you are actually over your ex. If you mention your past relationship briefly, it's okay. But forget about your ex and place all your interest in your new guy instead. It'll show him you're into him and not concerned with your past relationships.
15 Do: Show Good Listening Skills
Distraction is not advisable as he'll realize you're not interested in what he has to say. It'll impress him if you listen. Answering questions is a must but listening to his answers or questions is even more important. According to Elite Daily,
listening can be more fundamental than starting the chat. He'll realize you're interested in him and thoughtful.
The first date is all about connecting and if there's no distraction you'll learn about him, and it'll show you're a good listener.
14 Do: Wear An Outfit To Show Your Personality
Being casual is fine when you're in a long-term relationship, but during a first date, you will want to impress him with your outfit. It'll be even better if you can dress appropriately for the date. For example, if you're going to a coffee shop, casual jeans and shirts will do, or even a summer dress. If it's a fancy restaurant, on the other hand, an evening dress with heels will be perfect. Dressing for the date will show him you know how to dress for any occasion. The outfit should also reveal your personality as it'll show him what you're like on the inside as well as the outside.
13 Don't: Constantly Check Messages
Yes, social media is the trend nowadays and most people are continuously on their phones. It'll turn him off, though, if you're regularly checking your phone because then you're not paying attention to him. First dates are important because it's the time you get to know one another and see if you like each other for a second date. According to Marie Claire, if you get a notification during the date and check it or scroll through your social media, he'll think you're not interested. The best advice is to leave your phone in your bag and check it after the date!
12 Do: Ask Him The Right Kind Of Questions
First dates can be nerve-racking as you don't know what to expect. Don't worry as it's likely he's nervous as well! If no one's talking, things can get awkward, but if you keep the conversation going, he'll admire it. For instance, ask questions so you won't run out of anything to talk about.
The best questions would involve interests, hobbies, and dislikes. You will learn a lot about each other in this way, and the bonus is that those questions will be out of the way for the second date.
It's a good idea to plan some questions before the date as this will ensure you'll be ready in the moment and prevent awkward silences.
11 Don't: Overdo It With Bathroom Breaks
Yes, it's good to impress him with your beauty and outfit selection, but it can become a bit too much. It's normal if you go check up on your makeup during the date, but if you're regularly checking it can become off-putting. According to guys, if you're going to the bathroom five or more times and changing or adding more makeup, they won't like it because it takes time away from getting to know one another - and it reveals you're more interested in appearances. You'll be distracted, and there'll hardly be any talking. He'll also keep wondering what's wrong and you don't want that.
10 Do: Keep Him Interested With Mystery
The way to keep him interested is by being mysterious. Share some details of your life which he will appreciate because it shows you're interested, but don't go OTT with too many details. Questions shouldn't make him feel like he's in a job interview as the date will get boring quickly.
For more mystery, end the date early instead of letting it drag on, and he won't be able to stop thinking about you. He'll also keep on asking for more dates because he'll want to get to know more about you.
9 Don't: Be A Negative Nelly Or Complainer
If there's something drastically wrong with your food then, yes, it's okay to make a complaint. If you're complaining about everything, though, he won't like that. For example, if you send your food back for no reason or complain about the restaurant, he'll be embarrassed. The same goes for being negative in all your answers during conversation.
He also won't like attitude and a lack of manners. He will notice how you talk to the staff and the way you act during conversation. If there's tension, he won't want a second date.
The best thing to do is stay positive.
8 Do: Be On Time And Let Him Know If You're Late
It can happen that you run late for the date, but he'll appreciate it if you send him a text to let him know. It won't impress him if you're late but don't inform him. It'll be disrespectful. If you show up late with no excuse, it'll reveal to him you didn't make the occasion a priority, and he may think it'll be like this throughout the whole relationship. Fair enough, things do happen, like getting stuck at work or in traffic, but letting him know will make a good first impression. You wouldn't like it if he was late with no explanation, after all!
7 Don't: Not Care About Appearance
As mentioned before, the right outfit will impress him, but if you don't make any effort at all with your appearance, it'll turn him off. For example, if you wear no makeup or your hair is exceptionally messy, it will show that you haven't put much thought in your presentation and don't really care about impressing him. You don't need to overdo it but make a little effort, like with a light touch of makeup, a beautiful manicure and/or an outfit that is a little dressier than sneakers, sweatpants and a plain t-shirt.
6 Do: Say "Please" And 'Thank You," It'll Go A Long Way
You wouldn't think that manners are so important to him but actually, they are. All you need to say is 'please' and 'thank you' after ordering or when the waiter brings you your meal. He'll be pleased to see your kind nature. It'll impress him even more if you have manners with him. For example, saying 'thank you' for the date or if he pays for you during the whole evening. If he sees you are appreciative, it'll impress him, and he'll want to ask you on a second date.
5 Don't: Be High Maintenance Over Everything
It's not nice if you are complaining about every little thing, such as the venue, the menu or even the guy. Being demanding is a massive turn off, and if you tell him you're not pleased with something because it's not good enough, the date will turn ugly quickly. He doesn't want to feel like he has to cater to every high maintenance need. Instead, he'll do the opposite by not asking to see you again. Show him how happy you are with the venue and date. Don't be too judgmental or picky and the date will turn out to be a hit.
4 Do: Positivity Is Key
First dates are stressful, and you will be anything but calm. The best thing to do before the date is try to ease your nerves, such as by giving yourself a motivational pep talk or listening to upbeat music. It'll help with the date, and he'll be happy to see your positive personality. Keep the nerves away with conversation and if you do embarrass yourself, laugh it off. Chances are he'll laugh with you, and there will be no room for nerves.
3 Don't: Show A Lack Of Confidence
We all tend to get a bit shy when we're on a first date, but it goes away once we get to know the guy a bit more. If you're continuously silent or showing signs of a lack of confidence, this can make him feel uncomfortable.
He won't know what to do to make the date better.
For example, if you're always saying 'sorry' when there's nothing to apologize for, or if you keep on putting yourself down with self-image talk. It'll be a turn-off as he'll see you're not sure of yourself.
2 Do: Keep The Conversation Flowing
Keeping the convo going is a definite rule we need to follow as there won't be any awkward silences. A good way to keep talking is by following the 'yes, and' rule. Basically, after he's said something, you say 'yes' and then you contribute to the conversation. For example, "Yes, and I've also been to Italy, actually" or "Yes, and I'm definitely a cat person." This strategy will help the conversation flow from one topic to the other. It can also prevent the date conversation from becoming a set of questions, which can become stale after a while.
1 Don't: Give Boring Answers To Questions
The first date is all about getting to know one another and showing your best self, such as by focusing on what interests you. If he asks you questions about your passions and you give one-word answers or say you're not sure, or you appear bored, it'll be off-putting.
As How To Get The Guy reports, if you can't tell a story, get excited about your work or interests, or talk about some skill you're learning, he'll get bored.
If there's no excitement, he could find an excuse to leave early. When that happens, he won't want to call you again. Game over.
References: Marie Claire, Elite Daily, Independent, How To Get The Guy