Modern dating can be pretty crazy. With dating apps, social media, and all kinds of new trends popping up each year, it can be tough to navigate the landscape of modern romance. And things are changing rapidly. After all, a few years ago it seemed like people were just getting on Tinder, but today it would be hard to find someone who has never used this app. At one point, meeting someone online and actually marrying them was considered to be pretty strange. But nowadays, there is less and less of a stigma attached to online dating.
Half the time, some of the terms that people use to refer to the latest dating trends don’t even seem to make sense! What’s a girl to do out there?
Well, for starters, it helps to know exactly what’s going on. It seems like it would be a good idea to just hand every woman a dictionary of weird dating trends that she is expected to keep up with. Here’s the thing—not all of these trends are bad. In fact, some of them could even be the ticket to meeting “the one.” Here are 10 dating trends to avoid and 10 good ones to try.
20 Avoid It: The “Zombie” Tactic
According to Cosmopolitan, “Zombie-ing” refers to someone who hits you up several months or even years after you initially were talking and essentially acts like there was nothing weird about the time gap.
Unless you have a genuine desire to rekindle a friendship with someone, this is not a good idea—it just makes you look like you felt bored and didn’t have other options, so you reached out to someone from the past with whom things didn’t work out. And when a guy does this to you, well, he’s probably thinking the same thing. Definitely avoid this recent trend!
19 Try It: Saying 'Thank U, Next'
Maybe this one is all thanks to Ariana Grande, but it seems like there is a different attitude around breakups these days—and it’s definitely a positive thing.
According to Self, more women today say that they focus on what they can learn from a breakup, and while they still mourn the relationship that was left behind, they’re able to say that they genuinely are thankful for everything it taught them.
Looking back on a relationship and reflecting on all the ways you have grown is always a good thing. Breakups will always be sad, but there is a positive side to them.
18 Avoid It: Flirting Through DMs
Have you ever received a flirty direct message on social media from a guy you barely knew? According to Allure, hitting someone up through their DMs is super popular these days, and every once in a while, it does work out—there are people who have met their spouses on social media!
Although it’s not a total lost cause, most of the time women do find it annoying. And if a guy starts flirting with you in your DMs, there is simply no guarantee that he is not doing the same thing to plenty of other women on social media.
17 Try It: Going To Meet-Ups
Plenty of people realize that it can be hard to make friends as an adult. According to Self, more women and men report that they have been going to “meet-ups” in their respective cities, which are groups that start online around a particular hobby or activity and invite anyone interested in the particular activity to attend an event.
Going to such events can be a great way to expand your social circle and meet a new guy. It’s an especially good idea if you’re introverted but not into online dating at all.
16 Avoid It: “Gatsbying” To Show Off
In the book The Great Gatsby, Gatsby threw wild parties all the time simply to catch the attention of one woman, Daisy, who he hoped would return to him and fall in love all over again. It didn’t end up working out in his favor, and although Gatsby was over the top, there is a modern day equivalent of his plan to “win” Daisy: “Gatsby-ing” on social media.
According to Glamour, this means making your social media profiles (particularly IG) look way more exciting than real life just to attract the attention of that special someone you have your eye on.
15 Try It: Celebrating Breakups
Celebrating your anniversary with someone is one thing, but celebrating your breakup? That sounds pretty strange, right? Well, according to Cosmopolitan, some women report that celebrating their breakups has actually been a positive choice for them.
Think about it—instead of crying, sometimes it feels better to just celebrate that you’re entering a new phase in your life and opening yourself up to brand new possibilities. It may seem like an odd cause for celebration, but for many people stuck in stagnant or boring relationships, a breakup can actually be a major step in the right direction.
14 Avoid It: Moving In Together Too Quickly
It’s understandable when you see couples today moving in together a little too quickly—after all, rent is expensive, and who wouldn’t want to have a sleepover with their best friend every night while essentially paying half the price for an apartment? But this plan can backfire.
According to Self, many men and women say that moving in together too early in the relationship is one of their biggest regrets! Cohabitation is a pretty big decision, and it should not be taken lightly. Many couples will do it just to save money, but this trend isn’t always a smart idea.
13 Try It: “Adventure Dating”
Dinner and a movie for a first date? Come on, not in 2019—it’s time to get way more creative than that! According to Cosmopolitan, “adventure dating” has become a trend in 2019. What exactly does this mean? Well, it means thinking outside the box when it comes to date ideas.
You don’t have to go skydiving or anything like that, but what about going for a hike? Checking out an exciting festival? Going on a day trip out of town and visiting a nearby city for the day? Time to leave those dinner and movie dates in the past.
12 Avoid It: Being Led On Through 'Breadcrumbing'
In the complicated world of modern dating, leaving someone “breadcrumbs” is essentially just a way of leading them on. According to Glamour, this trend has unfortunately become more and more popular. In this day and age, it seems like you can just drop someone and find someone new the next day. Or you can keep someone on the back-burner indefinitely as long as you see them every once in a while.
Ladies, if a guy is doing this to you, do not hold out hope that he will suddenly change his mind. Chances are he is not going to.
11 Try It: Being Friends First
In the past, many people worried about dating someone who was already a good friend—after all, this had the potential to ruin the friendship. But according to Teen Vogue, this mindset is actually starting to go away. In fact, many women today say that they would actually prefer to date a guy who they have already been friends with for a while.
Think about it: you already know each other quite well, you don’t have to try so hard to impress each other, you probably have some mutual friends already, and you trust each other. What could be better?
10 Avoid It: Ghosting Guys
Look, ghosting seems like it is the biggest trend in modern dating these days. Even though we all know how much it hurts to get ghosted, doing it to someone else feels like the easy way out of a relationship that wasn’t working out. But is this a good idea?
According to Cosmopolitan, the answer is no—the majority of people who have been ghosted by someone who they thought was actually into them say that it had a long-term effect on their self-confidence in the dating world. Word of advice? Don’t ghost someone—it’s just too hurtful.
9 Try It: Online Dating
Okay, hear us out on this one—even if you’re not into the idea of apps like Tinder, using an online dating platform to meet people could actually work out in your favor.
According to Glamour, a higher percentage of people are actually meeting their significant others on online dating sites these days, and instead of just going for casual flings, they’re getting into long-term relationships—in fact, some of them are even getting married!
It may seem like an awkward idea at first, but hey, it’s worth a shot. Who knows, the one could be on a dating site!
8 Avoid It: “Orbiting” Guys
What on earth does the term “orbiting” mean? According to Allure, this is when someone will consistently like and comment on your social media posts, but rarely makes an effort to reach out in real life.
If you aren’t feeling super-confident, this can seem like an easy way to get on someone’s radar without actually interacting with them too much offline. But it’s best to lay off this method if you’re trying to get a guy’s attention, and don’t waste time on guys who do this. This strategy is rarely going to result in landing the guy you really want.
7 Try It: Traveling Together
It seems like couples everywhere are hitting the road together these days, and this trend is definitely a positive turn of events. According to Cosmopolitan, couples today say that one of their favorite things to do together is travel when possible. Here’s why this is so great—not only is traveling together fun and exciting, it also gives you the opportunity to get to know each other on a deeper level.
It’s not all for the IG show! You’ll have to deal with a lot of little obstacles together, and if things go well, you will come out of the experience stronger.
6 Avoid It: 'Kittenfishing' Guys Online
We all know that cat fishing means you’re outright lying about some important aspect of your life or entire identity online, but what exactly is “kittenfishing?” According to Allure, “kittenfishing” occurs when you don’t quite lie about your life online to a guy, but you do exaggerate the details quite a bit to make yourself appear more impressive.
And of course, guys can easily do this to girls too. Now, this may seem innocent enough, but at the end of the day it can definitely still backfire. People just do not like the feeling of being lied to, and for good reason.
5 Try It: Waiting To Talk About Marriage
According to Psychology Today, people are getting married later than ever these days. For the most part, this is a good thing. Yes, some people simply put off marriage because they are hesitant to commit, but most people just realize that waiting until they've grown up a bit and really figured out what they want in life before getting married is a smart idea.
People who do this will generally have happier marriages with a much lower chance of getting divorced. Rushing into marriage is never a smart idea. Waiting can be a much better choice.
4 Avoid It: 'Outsourcing' To Friends
With dating apps and online dating being so popular these days, people have a certain level of anonymity in dating that they simply did not have before. According to Cosmopolitan, “outsourcing” has become rather popular, which basically means handing your phone over to your friend and letting them decide who to swipe right on or chat with.
It can be tempting to just hand those responsibilities over to someone else, but you just never know who they might connect you with! Plus, it’s deceptive to the person on the other end of things. It’s best to make these decisions on your own.
3 Try It: Staying Low-Key On Social Media
You may be jealous of a couple you know who is always posting adorable pictures together on social media—after all, they look so perfect, and who wouldn’t want to be half of that couple? But think twice before posting.
According to Psychology Today, couples who post more often on social media are actually typically unhappier in real life. They feel the need to show off to overcompensate for the fact that their relationship is not actually doing so great offline.
Don’t fall into this trap of thinking that the image is more important than the love that you feel.
2 Avoid It: Staying In On Date Night
These days, it’s so tempting to just relax and want to put something on Netflix for date night after a hard day at work. But the truth is that most couples who do this all the time will just end up feeling quite bored after a while.
According to Psychology Today, couples who make the effort to plan real date nights and attend social events together are happier in the long run than couples who tend to stay in most nights. Sure, sometimes you just need to stay in and unwind, but trying new things together is much more fun.
1 Try It: 'Slow Dating'
There is no need to rush into a relationship, and that’s a lesson that people today do seem to have learned.
According to Cosmopolitan, the idea of “slow dating” is now a trend—but you could just call slow dating common sense! It’s all about really taking the time to get to know each other without rushing to hit every milestone right away.
After all, dating is not a race to the finish line. It’s really about doing what makes you both happy as a couple. Couples don’t need to rush into things before they are both ready to take those steps.
Sources: Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Allure, Self, Teen Vogue, Psychology Today