Ow. Ow. And ow. If you've never had your period, just wait. You're in for some real pain. If you have your period and you've never experienced any severe pain, we're jealous. Period pain is a special kind of awful. Not only can it be constant, but it also sneaks up on you and is inescapable. On top of that, it can be debilitating. For one week out of the month (and sometimes more if we're really unlucky), it's as though everything you do -including all movement- becomes twenty times more painful and difficult. Your body aches and your uterus feels as though it's going to explode. If that's not bad enough, all your emotions are heightened, your self-esteem drops, and time and time again, you question your self-worth. To help all the lucky ones who menstruate pain free and to let those who suffer menstrual pain know that we understand, we've put together a list of ten things that you can compare period pain to.
10 Your Insides Being Stabbed
We hope you've never been stabbed with a knife but if you have, you can sort of imagine what period pain is life. If you haven't, imagine yourself being stabbed. Ouch, right? Now imagine your insides being stabbed. Even more ouch. Yup. It's true. Because your uterus is literally shedding, it feels as though someone is stabbing your insides with a knife, time and time again. What's worse? The only thing that you can do is sit back and let it happen. No position makes it feel better, no heating pad makes it stop, and no medicine seems to work. And people wonder why we're irritable when we're on our periods.
9 Carrying Around a Heavy Weight
And no, this weight is not on your shoulders. It's attached to your uterus and hangs between your legs. When you have your period, it feels like something is constantly pulling on your insides, weighing you down. This weight weighs at least ten pounds and doesn't get any lighter when you lay or sit down. In turn, your pelvic area, abdomen, and even your inner thighs start to feel sore. Think about it: You're carrying around a weight all day. If that's not bad enough, you have to constantly wear some sort of uncomfortable protection which makes the said weight even heavier.
8 Having A Heart Attack
And this is even backed up by medical professionals, people. Many doctors agree that those who experience severe cramping and muscle spasms while on their period endure pain comparable to having a heart attack. However, unlike a heart attack, the pain doesn't kill you and doesn't stop when you seek medical help. It continues on and on. If it does stop by some chance of luck, it comes back later and sneaks up on you. So, basically, it's like having multiple heart attacks within the span of a week (hopefully only a week).
7 Food Poisoning
Having your period is comparable to food poisoning for a couple of reasons. The first way is because it sneaks up on you. You never know exactly when it's coming and it's certainly not desired. Second, it takes over your whole body. You have muscles aches, spasms, and even the shakes and you feel ill everywhere, not just in your stomach. Third, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. Unlike the common cold or flu, you can't treat food poisoning. Similarly, you can't "treat" your period. You just have to wait it out, suffering though the whole experience.
Oh, did you think that period cramps were only felt in the abdomen? Think again. When you have your period, it feels as though you're 80 years old and suffering from sciatica. If you bend over, it's as if every nerve in your lower back is being pinched, one by one. If you sit for a long period of time, you wonder if you'll be able to stand back up without crying out in pain. It's so bad that you think you should seek professional help such as a physical therapist or a chiropractor but you know nothing will help you because it's not actually your nerves that are causing your pain, it's your period.
5 Being Broken Up With Repeatedly
Because your menstruation cycle sets your hormones on fire, your emotions are also set on fire when you have your period. Therefore, whenever one thing goes wrong, it feels as though every single thing has gone wrong. For example, your date being late to pick you up causes you to have the same emotional response you would have if your husband of ten years decided to leave you for another woman. What's more annoying is that you know you're being overly sensitive and emotional, but there's nothing you can do about it. Even if you try to take a deep breath and calm down, another emotion creeps up on you. You can't escape your feelings, just like you can't escape your period.
4 A Hard Workout
No- we're not talking the day after "leg day." The body aches that come along with period pain are comparable to this: You've never worked out a day in your life and are in really, really bad shape. Then, one day, you're forced to run a marathon, lift as much weight as a body builder, then climb Mount Everest. As a result, your body is the sorest its ever been. Every muscle aches- even muscles you didn't even know you had. Every small movement is torturous and the only thing you want to do is curl up into a tiny ball and never move again.
3 You Have The Flu
And no, not the common cold. We're talking swine flu or bird flu or the worst flu that you can think of. Black Plague. Yes, that's right- black plague. You're constantly on the verge of throwing up. Every smell makes you nauseous and it seems as though your senses are heightened. You're starving but you can't eat. You wish that the nausea would go away but it's endless. It wakes you up in the middle of the night, surprises you while you're at work, and ruins every meal for you. It makes morning sickness seem like a walk in the park and it makes you want to get pregnant so that you don't have to feel like this for an entire week every month.
2 You're Constantly Constipated
In the days leading up to your period, it's impossible to have regular bowel movements and while you have your period, it's even worse. For some reason, its presence completely interrupts your metabolism which leaves you feeling constantly constipated. You chug water and coffee, you even take laxatives, but nothing works. And what's a side effect of the constipation? Oh right. Bloating. So not only do you feel fat, you also look fat. You struggle to button all your pants and the thought of wearing a tight shirt or dress sounds miserable.
1 You're Going Into Labor
If you've ever gone into labor, you know what I'm talking about. It feels as though you're having contraction after contraction day after day, night after night. You have shooting pain in your abdomen that shocks and surprises you. One wrong movement makes you squeal in pain. It keeps you up at night and makes any sort of movement difficult. If you've never gone into labor but you've had pain like this, it makes you fear having children. You never want to intentionally go through something so excruciating and you wonder why or how anyone could do that to themselves.