Men and women are unique and different. We've always been that way and probably always will be. Sometimes these differences can create tension and friction in our daily relationships, especially when taken to extremes. But for the most part, our differences blend well and balance us out. His strengths cover our weaknesses and vice versa. This creates a united powerhouse that can tackle almost anything together and still survive. And some of our differences create humor in our relationships which can help ease some of the previously encountered tension or bond us closer together.
But what exactly are some of these massive differences? Aside from the obvious in physical appearance and structure, there are subtle differences in our physical, mental and emotional make-up that most of us might not know about. Finding out about these differences and training ourselves to work with them will go a long way in resolving some of our relationship issues.
Simply arming ourselves with the knowledge that men and women are different in some key areas will go a long way in defusing situations before they even have a chance to rise up. Plus, we'll acquire some unique trivia which we can use to entertain our friends and stump our lovers when they get too cocky, which is always fun to do to the know-it-all in our group. So, let's dive in and see what we can find.
15 We're Completely Different: Variable Visuals
A common marriage phenomenon is when the husband stomps through the usually clean house yelling something like, "Where are my keys? Honey, I can't find my socks. Where's the thing I just had last night?" This is generally followed by a shout from his wife along the lines of, "It's right there for crying out loud!" And then she enters the room and whatever he was looking for magically appears.
This occurs partly because the wife neatly organized the house and told him where to find his stuff but he didn't listen, and partly because our eyes are different.
Women can see more colors and better at closer range in general while men are great at seeing objects in the distance and movement.
This used to help them when they'd go off hunting. Now it helps with driving and annoying their wives.
14 "We're Completely Different" Say What?
Another common marriage complaint is when she says he never listens to a word she says and he complains that all she does is nag. The reality is a bit different. While both sexes can hear, men pick up different sound registers than women do.
Women can hear higher-pitched sounds (making screaming toddlers torture for some women) and men can hear lower-pitched sounds.
Women receive all the sounds and can sometimes become overwhelmed by too many–often called sensory overload. Men receive sounds but can tune useless or repetitive ones out so they can focus on more important sounds. Often, they will focus on the TV and tune out their wife which will result in her making repeated vocal attempts to communicate which then gets tuned out as a repetitive sound.
13 We're Completely Different: Mentally Checked Out
If we drop in on a random married couple during a normal day at home together (without them seeing us), the scene we'd probably see would be something along the lines of the husband busily occupied watching TV or reading the newspaper or working in the garage while his wife putters around the house tidying up while the bread dough rises and she defrosts a steak.
They look quiet but internally her mind is working busily at several different thoughts and mental ponderings while his mind is focused on the task being performed or just a blank screen of white noise.
Men have the unique and annoying ability to completely tune out and turn off the chatty part of their brains. Women can't do that; even when we're asleep, our brains keep talking.
12 We're Completely Different: Hush Little Baby
Another subtle difference between men and women that shows up on brain scans but not necessarily in a visible way during daily life is how we respond to the sounds of a baby crying.
Women's brains will light up and turn their attention to the baby and locate the source of the infant distress, even if the baby isn't theirs.
Men don't immediately respond, if at all. It'll take 3-4 weeks after the birth of their own baby before their brains light up a bit and at least alert them to the sound of the baby. Whether or not they then do something about the cries varies from guy to guy. Normally, they tell their wife the baby is crying or make an attempt to coo at the baby while wishing they'd read the books their wife told them to read. Dads with more than one kid are better at soothing subsequent babies.
11 We're Completely Different: Parenting Skills
Another difference between the sexes when it comes to their own children is how they respond to them.
Women typically respond calmly in a soothing manner and provide a safe, secure and stable environment for the child to grow in. Meanwhile, men respond boisterously and energetically, creating an environment of excitement, fun, and unpredictability.
While on the surface this seems unfair, it actually creates the perfect learning environment a child needs. There's the safety net of mom for comfort and support paired with the guidance and enthusiasm of dad to challenge the child to grow and prepare for the unpredictable world. This is why the ideal parenting unit consists of a man and a woman to balance each other and the child out, and help them thrive and grow up healthy.
10 We're Completely Different: Time To Think
Women are often accused of being over-thinkers and spending too much time in our heads while men are accused of not thinking enough. This is mainly an exaggeration.
Both sexes think but women think twice as much and twice as fast in some areas while men think thoroughly and sometimes quickly on other topics.
Both reach solid conclusions (though arguably whether it's the right conclusion remains to be seen). When falling in love, men decide within minutes if they want to procreate with a woman and then– a decision made–launch themselves into the courtship phase.
Women meanwhile enjoy the attention for a while before weighing all the factors and making their decision of whether to commit or not. Due to space-time continuum differences, the amount of time actually spent thinking for both parties is unclear.
9 We're Completely Different: Risky Business
If we ever see a group of teenagers, one thing that immediately stands out are the boys. They're super energetic, boisterous and overly confident in themselves to the point of taking lots of unnecessary risks. This is why they pay a higher price for car insurance till they reach a certain age and why they land in the ER more frequently than teenage girls.
This character trait doesn't go away as guys get older. It just changes from being invincible and doing crazy driving stunts to demanding higher wages for their job and "winging" certain things like weather conditions and how long they can go between grocery trips or laundry visits to mom's house.
All men are essentially big kids and they want to continually challenge their environment, pushing the limits and testing themselves till they win or break.
8 We're Completely Different: Whatcha Thinking About?
Numerous studies have proven that, on average, men think about being intimate three times as much as women do in one day. The reason we're given for this is that men are just hardwired like that and can't help it. That may be true but it also has to do with higher testosterone levels and the biological urge to procreate and pass on their genetics for the survival of their line.
Other studies have shown that during times of stress, men are much more excited and interested in bonding and procreating than women are in the same situations.
This also has to do with procreation. Men are also considerably more visual than most women. This used to help them find a healthy fertile mate; now, it generally gets them into trouble.
7 We're Completely Different: Thick Skin
One other subtle physical difference between men and women is our skin. Men's skin is thicker and stronger, making it harder to cut easily (which is ironic if we have an accident-prone husband), and it's better able to withstand the temperature extremes of the outdoors. Meanwhile, women's skin is smoother, softer and much more sensitive. This is mainly due to our ability and role of having babies and mothering them. Babies prefer to nestle with something soft and warm in general.
Men also have more upper body strength and their sense of balance rests on their shoulders, while women have stronger lower bodies and their balance is in their hips.
Men's blood circulates evenly throughout their bodies, making them excellent heaters, while women's blood circulates predominantly in the core for growing babies. This is why our feet are always cold.
6 We're Completely Different: Emotional Connection
Women are much more emotional, while men... aren't. At least, that's the myth. The reality is that both sexes experience emotions. The difference is that women have a better ability to verbally express their emotions while guys have a harder time doing so. It doesn't mean they can't, it just takes longer. Women are also freer with their emotions to get their man's attention.
When they're tuned out, they generally click back in if their woman starts screaming or crying. And this ability to be emotional allows women to be empathetic to a greater degree than men which comes in very handy for raising babies and accident-prone children.
We can read the nonverbal cues of our babies, understand the reason behind most cries and screams produced by our children and we can empathize with their pain (emotional or physical) which makes the children feel validated and secure.
5 How We're The Same Those Hormones Honey
One of the similarities between men and women is hormones. We all have the same hormones coursing through our bodies: testosterone, estrogen, oxytocin, dopamine and all the rest. They make up our chemical composition and are irritatingly out of our control except with artificial interference or assistance.
The main difference is the levels of each hormone. Women have higher concentrations of estrogen than men do, but during our periods the testosterone rises (arguably making us more like men for a week or so which should make men think twice before complaining about our period behavior).
Men are usually hopped up on testosterone and an assorted cocktail of adrenaline, dopamine and whatever hormone causes their outrageous levels of confidence without killing them. They do have estrogen but not in levels anywhere near us so we win there.
4 How We're The Same: A Growing Baby
In the womb for the first eight weeks, we all look exactly the same and are predominantly female fetuses till the testosterone bath occurs which dramatically changes the development of the baby. This is why men have useless nipples.
Essentially, men are just overgrown women hopped up on a different hormone cocktail. Anyways, one of the lingering similarities left over from this stage is the erectile tissues we share in our bathing suit regions.
We all know exactly what the guy’s tissue does but not everyone is aware of what a woman's does. During arousal, our various tissues become engorged with blood and our love tunnel loosens and lengthens for ease of intercourse which increases our pleasure. And, considerably more impressive, when we're in labor our tissues blossom like a flower and expand to the point of allowing a baby to pass through.
3 How We're The Same: Must Have Pizza
A very common similarity we have with each other is the need for food, water and sleep. Personal preference will dictate what kind of food exactly and in what amount, whether the water is all water or a blend of juice, tea, beer, etc., and how many hours we devote to sleeping.
Bonding over shared food is a great experience and can really connect us to someone and be sleeping with someone snuggled next to us is a very reassuring, cozy experience. Without these three essentials in healthy regular portions, we'll quickly become unhealthy and could progress toward severe medical issues.
Those are not any fun so we'll stick with ordering a pizza, popping open a bottle of wine and snuggling down with something entertaining on Netflix before going to bed at a reasonable hour.
2 How We're The Same: Shared Events
Another shared similarity between men and women is an experience. We all experience different events and gain experience points in the game of life with everything we try, say and do. Our experiences might differ from our grandparents’ or neighbor's but somewhere out there is someone else who has experienced the same thing.
In a relationship, we seek shared experiences to further bond us together. We go on dates, shopping trips, weekend getaways and swap songs, books and movies. Sharing these experiences gives us a shared memory, something in common to discuss and creates a bonding event.
We also enjoy these events because we remember them slightly different than our significant other due to the personal viewing filters we've developed through our life experiences up till this point. This provides another area of discussion which can further bond us.
1 How We're The Same: We're Only Human
The biggest similarity between men and women is that we are all human. We eat, we sleep, we work, we dream, we wish, we feel emotions, we have thoughts and ideas and we make mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others but, in general, we make the normal everyday life-sized mistakes.
We grieve, we forgive, we move on. We're by turns happy, sad, angry, exhausted and craving three-meat pizza and beer at midnight.
We all long for companionship from either fellow human beings or dogs, cats, birds and even snakes and mice. And we're all holding out hope for someday finding the one who will completely change our world, fill almost every need we still have after pizza and complete us. We're all looking for love on one little floating marble in space.