If we don’t date someone we work with, are friends with, or met at a bar, club, or party, how do we find our next SO? Once upon a time, online dating was something to be looked at with derision. Only the lonely and pathetic resorted to online dating, because they couldn’t find a partner the “normal” way. Nowadays, however, as we become more attached to technology, it’s more common to date someone through online dating and their accompanying apps!
Like all forms of dating, though, using an app comes with its own pitfalls. Rather than having a deep conversation before realizing we’re not interested, we simply have to swipe left. If we don’t find someone attractive within the first nanosecond of seeing their face, we don’t have to deal with small talk – we swipe left!
With so many possible connections and matches, it can be stressful to make a choice, which is why we’re here to show you the 10 things we do on dating apps that make a guy swipe right – and, perhaps more importantly, the 10 things we do that make him swipe left.
20 SWIPE LEFT: Snapchat Filters
Look, we’d be lying if we said physical attraction doesn’t play a key role in dating apps. After all, we’re first greeted by the image of a person and we swipe right or left depending on how appealing we find them.
For apps like Tinder, it turns out that those Snapchat and IG filters are actually not winners according to most men! While we think we look cute with puppy ears or a crown of flowers on our head, there’s all the sneaky editing these filters do that obscure what we really look like. We think those cartoon ears and noses are cute, but guys see them as concealing our real features.
19 SWIPE RIGHT: Show Some Puppy Love
While guys aren’t usually fans of the dog filter or duck lips, they do enjoy seeing photos of us with our furry pals, specifically dogs! Unlike cats or other pets, snapping a photo with a dog (ideally your own) indicates that you’re friendly, outgoing, and enjoy the outdoors enough to take Fido out for a walk every day.
Maybe it’s societal conditioning (and unfair to cat owners), but dog owners are generally thought of as being more laid-back, fun, and active. Cuddling up with your pet pooch in your profile picture lets him know all this about you, and makes him want to swipe right.
18 SWIPE LEFT: Too Many Group Photos
When someone is on a dating app like Bumble or Tinder, more often than not they’re trying to get to know one person – the person in their photos. That can be difficult to do when our profile is filled with group shots of us and our besties, making guys have to squint to figure out who we might actually be.
It’s confusing for a guy, especially if our BFFs dominate our dating profile. Letting him know that we’re social and have our own lives is great, but it doesn’t hurt to show who we are all by ourselves.
17 SWIPE RIGHT: Getting Gains
While women are generally turned off by a dating app photo showing some dude getting swole at the gym, it’s actually the opposite for men! They actually like seeing photos of girls lifting weights or going for a run, because it shows them that they're healthy and active.
While we may see such a photo as narcissistic, he sees it as emblematic of us wanting to take care of ourselves, which is very attractive (especially if he’s a fellow gym rat).
Plus, it doesn’t hurt that gym selfies and workout pics usually give him a better idea of what our whole body looks like.
16 SWIPE LEFT: Using Only Above-The-Shoulder Shots
This might sound shallow, but call it an unfortunate result of the catfishing phenomenon that has occurred with the rise of social media and dating apps. It’s easy – and flattering – to take a selfie. However, if all of our photos are only of our head and shoulders, dudes might be wondering what we’re not showing. Do we have extra limbs? No limbs? Are we simply just a floating head with enough willpower – or clever motor skills – to snap a photo?
Showing a little bit more of our full body helps him get a better idea of what we actually look like, rather than risk being surprised on date night.
15 SWIPE RIGHT: A Clever Bio
Next to stunning photos, a clever bio is usually at the top of every man’s list when it comes to what he’s looking for in a dating profile. While the guy might first be intrigued by an image, if there’s something generic on our profile - or worse, no bio at all - he might swipe left no matter how good we look!
A clever bio kept to a few lines that is funny, witty, and/or interesting can grab his attention and make him want to know more about us. If we can work in something we’re passionate about or something we find funny, even better, because it gives him more material to work with when he finally messages us.
14 SWIPE LEFT: A Laundry List Of Deal-Breakers
If we’re on a dating app and have a laundry list of things we do and do not want in a guy, we’re probably not in the position to be quite so picky. Standards are a must, absolutely, but when we’re disqualifying dudes because they don’t match our exact requirements, there’s a problem.
For men, this kind of profile addition makes them immediately swipe left because not only does it make us seem shallow and demanding, but also like we’re extremely high maintenance. It's as though nothing he would do would ever be good enough for us.
13 SWIPE RIGHT: When She Smiles
Save all the pouting and moody lighting for IG, because a dating app is where we want to appear sunny, positive, and vibrant! While no woman likes being told to smile, a wide-open smile that shows our teeth conveys joy and happiness that could be just enough to get a guy to swipe right!
The whole scowling thing or RBF might be our natural pose in real life, but showing a genuine smile can attract a lot of people. Like attracts like, and happiness can draw in more happiness. A nice smile lets him know that we’re not going to be a stick-in-the-mud or moody girlfriend all the time.
12 SWIPE LEFT: Height Requirements
Like having a laundry list of deal-breakers or must-haves, height requirements are a major turn-off for guys. Only a small percentage of the male population is actually over six feet tall, which seems to be the minimum for many woman, at least according to their dating profiles. Unless the woman herself is very tall (in which case wanting a taller SO is totally understandable), eliminating anyone who doesn’t meet this superficial height stipulation is rude, and cancels out a lot of good men.
A tall man may be something we want, but it’s better to just leave that tidbit out of our profiles and see what happens instead.
11 SWIPE RIGHT: Show Something To Start A Conversation
When scrolling through a dating app, there are so many faces we see so it can be difficult to stand out. Making our profile a better reflection of who we are means that we have a higher chance of getting a match. When it comes to photos, we should show something that starts a conversation – and, no, we don’t mean a bikini photo!
A photo that shows something we love or are passionate about, or something that shows a sense of humor – think a really great Halloween costume – could be just the thing to make him swipe right. Inside jokes or something that shows our inner nerd are all pluses for him.
10 SWIPE LEFT: Bad Grammar
Yeah, okay, it’s the Internet and not school, but in this day and age being online shouldn’t be an excuse to be sloppy when it comes to spelling, punctuation, and grammar.
For a lot of men, proper grammar is appealing on a dating profile, because it signifies a woman who is intelligent and educated. Naturally, a profile rife with typos or the wrong “your” raises a red flag for some guys. Not only do these men think that the woman they’re looking at is less educated than she is, but they may even think that she doesn’t care much about her profile since she couldn’t be bothered to proofread it.
9 SWIPE RIGHT: A Variety Of Photos
When we’re curating our dating app photos, we should bear in mind that they shouldn’t all be the same shot. If they’re all group photos or selfies, we should rethink our approach. Uploading a variety of photos is the best way to tell a guy about our life before we’ve even met. Shots taken with friends, images of our travels, a cute selfie, a silly photo – all of it offers more insight into who we are.
Guys see a lot of photos of women when they’re on dating apps, and it can become monotonous pretty quickly, no matter how beautiful those women are. Spicing things up will keep him intrigued.
8 SWIPE LEFT: Using Only Selfies
Selfies are great. When we’re in good lighting and really feeling ourselves, selfies are tangible proof that yes, we did actually look really hot that day. Two or three selfies in a dating profile are totally okay. What makes a guy swipe left, however, is when our profile ONLY consists of selfies.
Whether they’re taken with a forward-facing camera or in our bathroom, having only selfies as evidence of our appearance reads to him as being really boring. What, we haven’t ever had anything more exciting happen in our lives so all of our photos are taken in front of the same mirror in our apartment? Pass.
7 SWIPE RIGHT: Showing Some Sports Love
It probably shouldn’t be much of a surprise here, but dudes dig a girl who likes sports (that is, if they’re into sports themselves). They like a girl who can look cute in a baseball cap or jersey and knows the game, and if that sounds like you, put it in your profile!
Showing some team spirit – whatever that team may be – is an instant conversation starter for the athletic guy. While some dudes might be rude and quiz us on our sports knowledge, these aren’t the ones we’re after. Focus on the dude who wants to take you to a game or will debate about the best relief pitcher for a certain team instead.
6 SWIPE LEFT: Refusal To Make The First Move
Apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge were initially designed with one purpose: dating. (Some of these apps have since evolved into having best friend search options, or even business connections!)
Thinking that using these apps is taboo is so passé, which is why guys get frustrated when a woman refuses to make the first move, putting all the onus on the dude (with the exception of Bumble).
Writing in our profile that we won’t message first is an immediate turn-off for a guy, who now has to do all the work. He may like the chase, but he doesn’t like being ordered to run after us.
5 SWIPE RIGHT: Making The First Move
Thanks to apps like Bumble, it's become more common for women to make the first move. In fact, a lot of guys are into it! While this requires a swipe right and a match to work, guys will definitely be more interested in a woman if she does a bit of the legwork and messages him first – preferably with something other than the boring “hey.”
Assertiveness can be incredibly attractive, and guys aren’t immune to this power. Remarking on something funny he wrote in his bio or that Office shirt he’s wearing in his profile are ways to establish a connection that’s a lot more memorable than waiting for him to make a move.
4 SWIPE LEFT: Other Dudes In The Picture
This might depend on how many guys we’re surrounded by in our photos, but if we have smiling, arm-in-arm shots with a few dudes repeatedly show up, it may make the guy doing the swiping swipe left.
In this instance, this guy doesn’t know if the dude in the photos is a current BF, an ex, a brother, or just a friend. He doesn’t know how often we hang out with this person, if they’re purely platonic or not, or if we just have so many guy friends that he’ll always be on the lookout for the next one to make a move.
3 SWIPE RIGHT: Responding Promptly
No one ever wants to appear too eager or too available, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship or flirtation-ship. However, waiting for days to get back to someone – when it’s very obvious that we have our phone on us – is too transparent.
Striking while the iron is hot – and while his interest is still piqued – is the best move for getting a positive outcome in a dating app. Responding within a reasonable amount of time, ideally with something that keeps the conversation going, leads to nice conversational flow that will set you apart from the rest of the women he’s matched with.
2 SWIPE LEFT: Demanding His Attention
Once we’ve moved past the initial swiping stage, hopefully we’ve begun talking, either through whatever app we met on or via text. He’ll appreciate that things seem to have progressed to the next level, but he could immediately change his mind and unmatch with us if we’re demanding his attention all the time.
Learning that someone is high maintenance before anything has even happened is a major turn-off. Texting or messaging him multiple times when he hasn’t replied, or is too busy to get to his phone, is a little intense and can put him off quickly. We should refrain from repeat texting.
1 SWIPE RIGHT: Actually Arranging A Time To Meet
So much of online dating is talking back and forth, only for things to fizzle out after a few days or weeks, with no actual face-to-face meeting taking place. It’s a bummer, but it happens a lot.
If this isn’t what you’re looking for and you actually want to make something happen, avoid getting caught in the endless cycle of texting and actually arrange a date! It doesn’t have to be a “date” date, but an in-person meeting to determine if there’s any chemistry there and anything worth pursuing.
After all, apps like Tinder are designed for dating, so it’s not like the request is coming out of left field!