Valentine's Day is one of the most popular days for guys to pop the question over a romantic candlelit dinner and wow the girl of their dreams. It's also the most overrated day to propose on (for the same reasons) so our guy might not choose to pop the question that day because he wants his proposal to stand out and be unique. And then there's the guy who doesn't seem at all interested in proposals or marriage or commitment. What's a girl to do?
Well, first step is to buy a nice little tub of ice cream and settle in to do some sneaky analyzations of our man. How has he been behaving lately in comparison to previously recorded behavior? Has he said anything unusual that could be a hint that he's thinking about settling but hasn't quite reached that conclusion yet (because everyone knows guys take three times as long to think about something as we do)? And where on earth did he find those 36 bobby pins of ours that we'd lost last week? Definitely worth a pint of ice cream to mull over.
Guys unknowingly give off telltale signs that they're ready to commit (or flee) and it's our dutiful job as the impatient, worried and anxious sweeties to analyze those signs and calculate our odds of ending the month with a shiny new ring. So, here's ten signs that he's ready to commit to make it easier for us and five to watch out for that he's checked out.
15 He's Ready To Commit: He Makes Plans With You That Are Way In The Future
One subtle sign that our guy is ready to commit (whether he's aware of that fact or not remains to be seen) is when he sits down with us to make social plans weeks or months in advance. Our cousin Judy is getting married in six months and we need a date? Boom, he's on board and already has a tux to boot.
We've always wanted to tour the local wine country during the harvest season in three months? He books tickets and maps out a week's stay to hit all the hot spots and still have time for a romantic dinner or two together before going back to work. This is a clear indicator that he is actively envisioning his future with us and wants us in it, regardless of what we're actually doing on those planned outings.
14 He's Ready To Commit: When He Wants To Show You Off To His Family
Guys who value their family and friends will think twice before bringing us along to meet their important people. Meeting the parents is a big step in a relationship and requires copious amounts of chocolate and planning to prepare for.
So, when our guy is inviting us to every social function in his calendar from the office potluck to his friend's brother's barbecue to his annual family reunion, it's a pretty clear sign that he is committed and wants us in his life.
He doesn't just bring any girl along to these events and the fact that he wants us to attend all of them shows that he sees us taking a major role in his social and personal life. Plus, he's signaling to his friends and family that we're the one he's serious about and values more than other girls he may or may not have introduced to everyone.
13 He's Ready To Commit: He Shows Up, And He Shows Up On Time
We're all set for a hot date tonight. We've showered, applied makeup and just gotta grab our shoes when there's a knock at the door. He's on time and came with flowers. Such a nice personality trait! Even better is when he shows up early for our outings together. This kind of punctuality shows a level of respect for us and our time that tells us quite clearly our man values us and doesn't want to keep us waiting.
Of course, it could just be that he is impatient to hang out with us and wants to get as much time in together as possible but that's a nice compliment, too, so we won't complain. Besides, it could be good for him to catch a glimpse of us getting ready—guys are quite handy for tricky zippers and necklace clasps.
12 He's Ready To Commit: All Hands On Deck
When we first started dating, our guy had his hands all over us. Holding hands, lightly caressing our shoulders while we did the dishes, a quick peck on the cheek as he passes us in the hallway. Little loving touches.
That may have calmed down a bit in a longer-term relationship but once he decides he's ready to commit, it injects him with new excitement and those sweet little displays of affection come back into play or increase, making us feel all special and loved.
Bonus points if his primary love language isn't touching but it's ours and he knows it so he's talking to us in our language to let us know he cares and understands. A man deeply in love with us is a joy to be around.
11 He's Ready To Commit: Cohabitation Counts
One of the biggest signs our guy can give us that he's ready to commit to us (in one way or another) is when we're chilling out together and he brings up the topic of moving in together. Sure, there are financial benefits of sharing one place instead of two—especially if we're at one apartment more than the other most of the time anyway. And commute time would be cut down.
Plus, we'd see way more of each other. Whatever his line of logical arguments is, the point is he took the time to think them up because he wants to convince us to move in with him and that means that he's ready to take our relationship to the next level. So exciting! Looks like we'll need to swing by the market for some empty moving boxes after work this week.
10 He's Ready To Commit: What's Mine Is Yours
Another big sign that he's ready to commit (whether we're cohabitating or not) is when he proposes joint banking accounts or another similar action which screams serious committed relationship. It signals that he trusts us so much that he is willing to let us see all his financial dirt—how much he earns, how much he spends on beer, where all his bills go and where he shops at or how much he sets aside for savings.
Money is a touchy issue for relationships and if he trusts us with his, that means he'll trust us with his heart, which is considerably more valuable than money. Or at least it should be. The only real drawback to this set-up is that planning surprises gets a little tricky and we might have to tell our guy to not look too closely at the bank statements till after his birthday or our anniversary. Or pay for everything with cash but Amazon doesn't take cash.
9 He's Ready To Commit: He Wants To Share A Pet With You
We like cats and he likes dogs. Usually, that's grounds for an argument but one day we're walking past a pet store and he suggests going inside to look at the available animals and maybe getting a joint pet we both agree on. That's how we ended up with twelve goldfish or a turtle or that cute little guinea pig.
Getting a joint pet together is a big step in a relationship. It means he's not only committed to us but also to maintaining a helpless creature that is dependent upon us for shelter, food, water, and care.
It can also be considered good practice for someday adding a baby of our own to this cozy duo and watching how he handles a fussy cat or sick bird gives us further clues into his character and how he might possibly react to our future children someday.
8 He's Ready To Commit: He Confides In You, Even His Darkest Secrets
Guys tend to hold everything that could potentially be used against them as a weapon very close and secure. So, when our guy opens up to us, allowing himself to be vulnerable around us and confiding about his emotions or work concerns or anything really, it's a huge sign of trust.
He's letting us know he trusts us above anyone else and values our opinion (especially on work issues) and knows that whatever he tells us is safe with us. We won't go blabbing his secrets to anyone. That's something every guy looks for in their woman and something we women love when our guy confides in us. If he's willing to trust us with his heart and vulnerabilities, then a proposal seems like a logical next step because he'll know we'll probably accept rather than reject his declaration of love.
7 He's Ready To Commit: He Makes You An Item
Early on in the dating phase of the relationship we might be seeing our people. We'll see Dave on Saturdays at the farmers market and Stuart for coffee on Wednesdays and Kevin for cocktails on Fridays while they see their own assortment of females throughout the week. This makes for interesting weekly date planning but shouldn't be too much of a bother. Then Dave says he wants to go exclusive with us.
We don't date other guys and he doesn't date other girls, opening up lots of date slots in our calendar and signaling to us that he is getting ready to commit and wants to pursue our relationship to a more serious point. All good things, especially if we really like Dave to begin with. And he's the one who proposed the idea in the first place, so we're pretty certain he's okay with being an item.
6 He's Ready To Commit: Verbal Confirmation
And, of course, the most obvious and clearest sign that he is ready to commit or even marry us is when he initiates the conversation and verbally (in his own words) says, "I'm ready to commit to this relationship and to you" or "I want to marry you; what do you think about that?"
Of course, he might not propose then and there but he gave us the confirmation that we've been looking for and which tells us very plainly that that is the path he's currently on and heading down. And he gets bonus points if he shows us his phone open to a ring on it and asks if we like it.
Consulting the intended wearer of her preference in jewelry (especially long-term items like rings) is always a smart move on a guy's part and gives us the opportunity to find something we really like.
And sometimes, they just aren't ready to commit, ladies. Sometimes, they quit on you before you ever saw it coming.
5 He's Already Quit: Flaky Like Cereal
Of course, this is all fine and dandy to have a guy commit but what if he didn't hit any of the points above? Maybe he's just not ready to commit or—even worse—he's checking out of the relationship altogether. One sign that tells us he doesn't want to commit anytime soon is always flaking out on our plans together.
Let's say we've been planning a nice romantic dinner together all week and he calls the day before or the day of with some lame excuse about work or being sick or stuck in traffic and can't make it to dinner. If it was a one-time thing we'd understand but he's done it almost every time we try to get together and it's becoming annoying. This tells us that we aren't a priority in his life and that he doesn't respect us or like us enough to want to be around us a lot.
4 He's Already Quit: He Really Has No Clue What He Wants
We go on frequent dates together or at least semi-frequently and we always have fun, no matter what type of activity we're doing. But we're always the one calling him to make the plans and arrange everything. He doesn't call or text to propose any cool date ideas or help plan the outing.
Sure, this can be good for us (we get all the control and can do fun things we want to do) but his lack of interest in planning something that we'll both participate in and enjoy is a clear sign that he's not serious about the relationship or super invested in spending quality time with us. Definitely not something that says he wants to commit to a long-term relationship. We might have to discuss it with him or go boyfriend shopping again.
3 He's Already Quit: Home To Momma
As mentioned above, one key milestone in a relationship is the highly anticipated and often dreaded meeting of the parents. He's met ours and gets along really well for the most part but he's never once mentioned bringing us to meet his parents—even when they're conveniently in town visiting him.
We just don't see him for that entire weekend till they leave again. We've met one or two of his friends but not his whole squad or closest buddies either. This is a sign that he doesn't see us as long-term material and doesn't want to go through the emotional event of introducing us to the people he's closest to and then dealing with how everyone likes or dislikes each other as he changes the dynamic in his social groups.
2 He's Already Quit: Closed Like A Book
The opposite of being open is being closed. We learned this fact in preschool and it's stuck around. When our guy keeps everything bottled up inside, that's trouble waiting to happen.
But when he does it to avoid confiding in us or being vulnerable around us, it's more of a troubling sign that he doesn't take the relationship seriously enough to let down some of his guard and bond with us in more than just a physical way. He likes us but doesn't want to let us in too deeply.
There are several legitimate reasons for why he might initially behave this way but once we've been going out for awhile and are looking for the relationship to progress to the next level, it's not a sign we want to see.
1 He's Already Quit: Verbal Confirmation
During some conversations where we're trying to see where the relationship is going, he might say something like "I don't want anything serious right now" or "I'm not looking for anything serious because I'm still torn up about my ex." Whatever his excuse is that he tacks onto the end of the sentence, it's really just a softener to cushion the blow of the first part of the sentence.
He doesn't want to get serious with us. Essentially, he just told us that he's not looking to commit to a long-term stable relationship. Whether that changes in the future remains to be seen but if we're in one place in the relationship and he's in a totally different book, chances are good that things will split before they blend.