It's hard to think of a more exciting time than when your boyfriend pops the question and the two of you are engaged. Whether you know from the very beginning of your relationship that things are going to go in that direction, or whether it took you a bit longer than that, you've waited for this day for at least a bit of time.
Everyone is going to have a different proposal story and every couple is going to decide to take the next step at a time that is right for them. One thing is for sure, though: there comes a point in the relationship when you either get engaged and take that next step... or realize that things aren't right and that you should break up. Hopefully you get engaged, but if you know that this guy isn't the one for you, it's so much better to move on and find the right person.
You can tell when a guy is ready to either ask you to marry him or tell you that it's not working out. Read on to find out 10 things all men do when they're about to propose... and 10 when they're about to break up with you!
22 Propose: Spend A Lot More Time Texting
When your boyfriend is getting ready to pop the question, you just might find him spending a lot more time on his phone than usual. You might wonder if something is up, but it's not what you think because it's not anything bad.
He might be texting friends or family and making plans for the proposal. He could also be texting his friends, his mom, or his sibling(s) to let them know what's going on. He might be nervous about proposing so he wants to let people know ahead of time and get their advice and well wishes.
Of course, you won't know that he's going to propose unless you two have been talking about getting married, so when you see him on his phone, you might worry that he's bored with you or talking to another girl (even if you're not the jealous type and you have no reason to think that way). Hang in there and before you know it, you'll be engaged and realize what he was up to all along... and he'll definitely tell you that, yup, he was texting his sister and his best friend about the proposal. Awww. They will probably tell you, too, since they'll be so happy and so excited that all they'll want to talk about is your brand new engagement.
21 Breakup: Stop Telling You About His Day
On the other hand, when a guy wants to break up with you, you'll notice a lot of changes... and they won't be good ones. It's pretty typical for couples to come home from work and talk to each other about what happened that day at work or in general, whether they start cooking dinner right away or go for a walk to get groceries. It would be weird if that wasn't happening, right?
Well, if your boyfriend is about to break up with you, he definitely won't be thinking about talking to you about his day. He won't want to share the same kinds of details about his daily life that he did before because he'll be so preoccupied with when he's going to end the relationship.
He also won't feel like talking that much since, you know, he doesn't think that being in a relationship with you is the best thing anymore. When he gets quieter than usual and stops sharing things with you, you'll definitely get suspicious and think that something is up. And in this case, you'll be totally right because he's looking to end things and move on. Once the breakup happens, you'll remember this and realize that your bad feeling was right.
20 Propose: You Catch Him Just Looking At You And Smiling A Lot
A guy who is about to propose to his girlfriend is kind of a mess... in a good way. He won't be able to stop thinking about how much he loves you, how happy you make him, and how lucky he is to be in this position. You'll most likely catch him just looking at you and smiling... and you'll catch him doing this a lot.
If you ask him why he's staring at you, he might laugh and shrug it off, or say something cute like, "What, I can't look at the girl that I love?!" You might not think much of this since, yeah, he's right, and you know how he feels about you.
But once you realize that he's been thinking about proposing for a while, you'll realize that this was a totally meaningful thing. He won't be able to take his eyes off you because he'll keep thinking about how and when to pop the question. It'll be all that he thinks about until he finally works up the courage to ask you to marry him. And you'll remember the times that he kept looking and smiling at you and everything will make sense, which will be really cool.
19 Breakup: Not Mention Important Things
When you're in a serious relationship, you tell each other pretty much everything. Yeah, you might have a few secrets -- he might not want to hear the details of your period, for example -- but for the most part, you'll be close and connected.
You'll know that your boyfriend is about to end the relationship when he stops mentioning important things. Maybe he booked a vacation but didn't let you know about it so you find out when he posts something about it on Instagram or a mutual friend mentions it. Maybe something stressful or exciting is going on at work -- he's getting a promotion or his office is moving locations -- but he doesn't tell you that, either.
This will definitely worry you and the truth is that, unfortunately, you should be worried. He's showing you that he's not thinking about as his most trusted confidante and the fact that he's not sharing everything with you anymore speaks volumes. You might wonder what you can do about this, but all you can really do is talk to him and ask him what's going on. You just might not like the answer because he might tell you that he thinks that it's over.
18 Propose: Get Super Romantic (Especially If That's Just Not His Style)
Some guys are hopeless romantics and love showering their girlfriends with surprises and epic date nights on a regular basis. Others just aren't that into it. It doesn't mean they don't love the person that they're with, of course. It's just that people have different styles.
Whether or not your boyfriend is the romantic type, you'll most likely notice him getting super romantic when he's about to propose. Makes sense, right? He'll be thinking about his future with you and get super excited about this big life change that is about to happen for both of you.
You might think that he's being weird if he's not normally romantic, so you might actually guess that he might be able to pop the question. And that might actually work out pretty well for both of you because if you bring it up and ask him if he's going to ask you to marry him, he might not be able to wait and he might say yes. Then you'll be engaged and can start the celebration (and can post about it on social media since, let's be real, that's one of the best parts about getting engaged... besides marrying your best friend and love of your life, of course).
17 Breakup: Suggest You Do More Things Without Him
Couples who are happy and in love do a lot of things together. They have routines and favorite restaurants and coffee shops. They have favorite recipes to make when it's Tuesday night and you're both starving and need to eat pretty soon before one of you gets hangry (or, well, both of you since that's probably going to happen).
Happy couples don't tend to spend a ton of time apart. Yeah, they have their own friendships and maybe their own hobbies, and of course, they each go to work every day. But they hang out together a lot since, you know, that's what you do.
If your boyfriend suggests that you do more things without him, that's a pretty good indicator that he's pondering a breakup. He wants to start living separate lives and doing things without each other, so it's a subtle way of letting you know that he wants you to start living your own life and being more independent. It's pretty rare that this would be a good thing, so if you're worried that he wants to end things, you're going to be right. When a guy has made up his mind about this, you really can't change it, no matter how much you might want to.
16 Propose: Talk About The Beginning Of Your Relationship
Getting engaged is not only very exciting, but it also brings up the opportunity to get nostalgic and take a walk down memory lane. When your boyfriend is about to pop the question, he might talk a lot about the beginning of your relationship.
He'll bring up your first date, talk about when he knew that you should be his girlfriend, tell you cute things that his friends and family said after they met you for the first time, and just generally be really cute and sweet. You might not realize that he wants to ask you to marry him, but even if you don't, it's not like you're going to hate having this type of discussion since it involves how your love story began.
If you two talk like this all the time, you might think that it's perfectly normal and not focus that much on it, but if you don't, then you might think that maybe he's saying this stuff for a reason. He just won't be able to help himself -- he's going to want to focus on how much he loves you and how happy he is that you're together. He just wants to bask in the glow of this happy time, and chances are, he can't wait to propose.
15 Breakup: Act Irritated 24/7
Someone who wants to initiate a breakup is not really the happiest camper. You will probably notice that your boyfriend seems to be in a constant bad mood and that absolutely everything seems to annoy and frustrate him these days.
You could chalk it up to being stressed out at work or some family problems that he's going through... but if he always made an effort to put on his game face for you and make sure that you both had fun all the time, then this is definitely something new. It's possible that he's thinking about how to break up with you but he can't quite work up the courage or figure out the best way to go about it.
Even if someone is miserable in a relationship, it's rare that they want to hurt the other person and make the breakup really awful. Your boyfriend could be dealing with a ton of negative emotions right now, from guilt to shame to feeling super badly that he's about to break your heart. He might not be a bad guy and you might just not be meant to be, so breaking up with you is not something that he's going to take lightly.
14 Propose: Tell You How Much His Family Loves You
Getting engaged means you're about to become a real, actual part of your boyfriend's family, and he will become a part of your family, too. Sure, your BF's parents might love you so much that they already consider you part of the fam jam, but this makes it official.
When your boyfriend is getting ready to propose, he's going to make it a point of letting you know that his family loves you. You might already know this, but he'll want to tell you anyway.
Why is he doing this? It's definitely because he's getting all giddy and sappy since he's about to ask you to marry him. He's thinking about the future and the fact that you're going to be part of his family. He's just so happy that he's about to ask you to be his wife that he wants to be super sweet and let you know how amazing he thinks that you are and he'll want to make sure that you know that his family feels the same way. You might laugh and think that he's being a bit too much, but once you have that ring on your finger, you'll see why he was talking like that.
13 Breakup: Compare Your Relationship To Someone Else's
A guy who wants to break up with his girlfriend might start looking at other people's relationships, almost like he's studying them. Your boyfriend might talk to you about couple friends that you have and talk to you about what's going on with them.
If friends are engaged, he might tell you that he doesn't believe in marriage or doesn't think that he wants that for you two... which, yeah, will be hard to hear and will basically totally suck. If friends have broken up or are going through a tough time, you might hear him say that he thinks that relationships are too much work.
You'll probably be confused that he's talking to you about other couples since this might not be his style and he might not ever gossip about other people. But you'll definitely wonder what's up. He might be thinking about breaking up with you and he's bringing up your friends so he can see your reaction. Sometimes people are so afraid to leave a relationship behind that they procrastinate ending it, and that might be what he's doing here. If you ask him why he's so obsessed with talking about so-and-so, he might get upset and defensive, and then you'll have your answer.
12 Propose: Ask If You're Happy With Him (Even When He Knows The Answer Is Yes)
Some couples are mushy all the time and constantly say sweet nothings to each other and talk about how much they care about each other... and others do the total opposite. It doesn't mean that you're more or less in love. It's just the way that you communicate and expresses your love and emotions. There is really no right or wrong way to be in a relationship.
When your boyfriend is getting ready to ask you to marry him, he might ask you if you're happy with him. He might ask this even if he already knows the answer is yes. You'll probably laugh and say "of course" and wonder why he seems to get all nervous and insecure all of a sudden... because that's really how he's feeling right now.
Even if he knows that you're going to say yes when he pops the question, he's still going to have butterflies in his stomach. It's a big moment for a guy, and he won't want to mess it up. He just wants to be reminded once again of how much you love him, so definitely share that with him. Yes, even if you think that he should already know.
11 Breakup: Stay On His Phone When You're Eating Dinner Or Hanging Out
It's inevitable that sometimes, couples spend a bit of time answering text messages or emails or going on social media when they're hanging out together. This can be tough to avoid all the time, particularly if you live together. You would love to spend all your time being blissfully in love, but it's not always possible since you do have work and family and friends.
But most couples would agree that it's not the way that you want to act most of the time. You don't want to ignore each other and act like whatever is on your phone is more important than quality time.
When your boyfriend starts spending a lot of time on his phone when he's supposed to be talking to you, having dinner, watching TV, or just hanging out, that's a sure sign that he wants to break up with you. And, to be totally honest, that might not be the worst thing since you definitely deserve someone who always wants to give you his full attention. You want your boyfriend to always think that you're more interesting than his phone, right? Yes, of course. That's not a strange thing to hope for. That's just normal and what anyone would expect.
10 Propose: Cook For You A Lot More/Tell You To Relax
It's not that you need to be treated like a princess at all times -- even though you're in a relationship, you're an independent person and you have your own life. It's still nice to have someone take care of you, though, and there's nothing wrong with that.
You'll know that your boyfriend will be getting ready to propose when he says that you should just sit back and relax and he'll make you dinner... and he'll do this all the time. He won't want you to lift a finger because he's so in love with you and he can't wait until the moment that he has worked up enough nerves and courage to ask you to be his wife.
You might think that something is up if this keeps happening, but unless you want to bring up whether or not he wants to get married, you might want to just hang back and wait and see what happens. After all, it's pretty nice to have someone cook for you on a regular basis, so this will be a nice perk (especially if you're the one who gets into the kitchen most of the time, or are just really busy at work right now).
9 Breakup: Stop Being Romantic And Saying That He Loves You
It makes sense that couples who are super in love would want to say that kind of stuff to each other all the time, and couples who are on the verge of breaking up wouldn't.
You might think it's strange that your boyfriend has stopped doing anything romantic for you and has stopped telling you that he loves you. This might be even truer if you two were really lovey-dovey before this (and if people even commented on it). You're both probably really busy all the time, thanks to work and other responsibilities, so this might not be something that you even notice is happening at first. But then you'll realize that it's been a few days or even a few weeks since he said that he loved you.
Maybe you still say it, whether you say it IRL or text it to him during the day, but he doesn't really respond the way that he used to and says very vague things.
This is not exactly how you want you and your boyfriend to act, so it's pretty safe to assume that something is going on with him and he might not think that this relationship is working out all that well.
8 Propose: Starts Eating Better/Working Out
A guy who is in love will absolutely start trying to be a better man. It's just a thing. When your boyfriend wants to marry you, he might start that process if he hasn't already, or just re-commit himself to living a super healthy lifestyle.
You'll notice him spending more time at the gym, trying a new workout or going to a group exercise class, or trying to learn to cook a few vegetables that are totally new to him. You might not think that he wants to propose and you might just assume that he's doing this for himself, and he is, but he wants to be the best man that he can be for you.
He wants to be worthy of you and he wants you to think that he could absolutely be your future husband. It's pretty adorable that he's doing this, don't you think? It's even better if you're really into being healthy and working out and eating well. This is a hobby that you two can now share and it can bond you even more, and anything that you can do to feel even more in love and connected is definitely always a good thing.
7 Breakup: Ignoring You When You're Talking/Asking You To Repeat What You Just Said
A guy who is thinking about ending his relationship will be totally and completely distracted. Until he tells his girlfriend that it's over and he needs to move on, this will basically be the only topic on his mind. He'll go over and over what he should say when would be the best time to do it, and what he'll do if you freak out and cry and seem truly heartbroken.
When your boyfriend is ready to end things, you might notice him ignoring you when you're talking to him. He will probably ask you to repeat what you just said... and this will happen again and again. You'll probably get mad and annoyed, which will get him mad since he's already in a negative frame of mind, and before you know it, the two of you will be fighting a lot.
The fights might be the impetus for him to finally talk to you about how he wants to break up with you, which would be great since you don't need to be part of such a negative relationship. You also deserve someone who pays attention to you and listens when you talk, so, no, that's not too much to ask for.
6 Propose: Watch More Romantic Comedies/Movies With You
It's not really a generalization to say that guys aren't big fans of rom-coms. Action, horror, thrillers, comedies -- sure. Romantic movies? Not really.
You may have had to practically beg your boyfriend in the past to watch a romantic movie with you, even one that is supposed to be hilarious (and even one that stars actors that he's a fan of). Maybe he would watch one on a holiday like Valentine's Day or Christmas, but otherwise, these types of films are generally a no-go for him. Or at least, he won't watch it without complaining a whole lot, so you usually think that it's not worth it.
You can tell that your boyfriend is about to propose when he doesn't argue with you when you suggest watching a romantic comedy. In fact, he might even suggest it, and he might even enjoy the movie (and tell you how much he's enjoying it). This will be a big shock... but not as big of a surprise as when he puts that ring on your finger, of course. He'll be in a romantic mood so it makes sense that he'll want to watch a romantic movie. You should definitely enjoy this phase while it lasts.
5 Breakup: Going Back On Promises Or Agreements
Getting engaged is kind of the ultimate promise that you could make to each other (well, besides your wedding vows). You're going to spend the rest of your life together and you're proving that you are so in love and so committed to each other. You want everyone else to know, too, and it's a public commitment for sure.
If your boyfriend is thinking about breaking up with you because he knows that this isn't the right relationship for either one of you, he won't want to keep any promises that he made to you since he knows that he doesn't want to stay with you. It might be tough for him, but he might also go back on his word a lot. You will be suspicious for sure since this is most likely not his typical behavior... and it's not exactly how most boyfriends should act (and that's an understatement).
This is definitely going to be upsetting since you figured that because you guys made plans, whether for vacations or you set a date for when you would move in together, you would both follow through. Unfortunately, things do change, and sometimes relationships just don't work out, and these things happen.
4 Propose: Ask You Random Questions That Don't Make Sense
When your boyfriend is ready to propose to you, he might need to know the answers to some questions. But there's no delicate way to ask this kind of stuff... and he definitely doesn't want you to know what's going on.
He might be planning a really grand, epic, magical, and romantic proposal, so he has certain information that he needs to gather. These things won't make any sense at all and you'll totally wonder why he's asking you such random questions. Sure, some guys aren't big on that kind of proposal, so he might not be planning something quite that big, but even if his proposal is going to be chill and low-key, there still be might be things that he needs to know so he can get the ball rolling.
Once he has proposed, then these random questions will totally make sense. But before you know that this is something that he wants to do, these things definitely won't make much sense. Chances are, the two of you will laugh about this after he's proposed and you'll realize exactly what was going on all along... and it'll be another sweet, amazing memory that the two of you share.
3 Breakup: Getting Mad At You About Little Things
Couples who are truly in love and meant to be together might argue a little bit, but it's not going to be the majority of their interaction and communication with each other. That would be toxic and not great at all. They also don't get mad at each other 24/7... and if they do, they're absolutely headed for a breakup.
If you've ever spent time with a couple who you just knew should go their separate ways, then you might have noticed them acting super bitter and bickering with each other. Maybe they always seem angry or in a bad mood. This might happen in your own relationship if your boyfriend wants to break up with you.
Since he wants to end things, that will bring up a lot of negative emotions that aren't that much fun for him to experience. He will also feel some conflicting emotions since he might feel guilty about breaking up with you, especially if you've been together for a long time. He'll also be mad that he can't just do it already because he might be hemming and hawing over the so-called right time (even though there is no right time, you just have to do it).
2 Propose: Ask If You're Free On A Certain Day/Night
When you're serious enough about someone that they would even be considering asking you to marry them, you most likely already live together, so you just hang out all the time. It's rare that your boyfriend would bring up a certain date and ask you if you're free. Yeah, he might if he's inviting you to something, but maybe you're serious enough that his friends and relatives would include you in the invitation.
When he asks if you're free on a certain day or night, it's obvious that he's planning something... and he just might be planning the day or night that he wants to propose. This might cross or your mind or it might not at all, but you'll for sure wonder if something is going on. Hopefully, you don't think that anything bad is going on, though. The best thing that you can do in this situation is taking a few deep breaths, stay calm, and tell him that yes, you're free.
Once you have that ring on your finger, you guys can laugh about how he was so formal and asked if you were free when that's just not the way that you two normally talk to each other.
1 Breakup: Go To A Friend's Party Without Inviting You
When you're in a relationship, you and your boyfriend might not go to everything together. He might not be the biggest fan of some of your friends so he gets a free pass when they have an event or party, and the same thing could be true with one of his friends or even one of his relatives.
But he would never go to a friend's party without you without at least inviting you first and making sure that you don't want to attend. That would be the worst kind of behavior ever... which is exactly why if this is going on, it's possible that he's considering breaking up with you.
He's trying to see what life would be like without you as his girlfriend, and going to a party alone is a small step that he can take in that direction. If you ask him about it and are offended, he might start a fight with you. Or he might just finally tell you that he wants to end things. You'll honestly be so much better off since you'll be free to find your real one true love, so after the shock and heartbreak wear off, you might actually thank him.