All of us have been guilty of coming back from a date with a cutie and asking all of our friends if we should text him first. Guys can be tricky creatures to crack when it comes to decoding what they like via text.
Definitely not fans of mind games, they like things laid out simple and easy for them. While they want a girl to tell it to them how it is, they also enjoy a little bit of a chase too, so striking a balance can sometimes be a challenge.
Although it seems silly to ask for advice on how to text correctly, it's surprising how many people actually have difficulty with this everyday task! We're on our phones all day, and texting is undoubtedly a huge part of our lives. So, why not become a total pro at it?
Between wondering whether or not she should send him the infamously passive aggressive "k" text to learning how to accept his flirty compliments with her own flair, we're here to help text-shy ladies everywhere.
Along with ten examples of texts guys absolutely do not want to receive, we're also backing that up with ten others to send instead—messages that'll have him wanting to ask her out ASAP.
20 Don't: Call Him Out For Typing, Then Deleting, What He Was Saying
We've all been guilty of this one at least once in our lives. Imagine having a conversation with your new flame and waiting to respond since you see the notorious three dots pop up on your text screen, making you anxious to know what you're going to get as a response. Suddenly, the dots disappear, and you get nothing.
As underwhelming as the entire experience is, the first thing you want to do is call him out for not sending his message. Not a wise play, however, since it makes you seem a bit uptight. Even worse, he may get freaked out by your extreme attention to detail, as all you're really doing is staring at a screen intently!
19 Do: Show Him A Life Exists Outside Of Him
You have a lot of really cool interests and hobbies outside of that new guy you're seeing, so don't put them on the backburner for him. Not only does your man find it attractive that you have other things going on in your life, but the chase is also a part of the appeal!
Trust us, he'll get a chance to miss you when you tell him you're busy with friends and will get back to him later. Even better, send him some fun snaps of whatever it is you're doing! It'll involve him and definitely show him you know how to have a great time.
18 Don't: Frequently Send Messages 'By Accident'
This is such an old trick in today's book—and everyone knows the meaning behind it. If you ever have your guy ignoring you and decide to "accidentally" send a message to him instead of someone else to get his attention, trust us, he'll know what you're doing. We'll lay it on you bluntly; your new flame will catch on right away since nobody can keep sending messages to the wrong number repeatedly. What he will see it as is a very direct cry for attention—definitely an immediate turn-off.
Instead, just say nothing and wait for your guy to reply. He's probably busy, and forcing his attention is extremely transparent.
17 Do: Show Off Your Wit
One of the best things to do with your new beau is to send some intelligent banter back and forth to show him how witty you can actually be. Balancing out your texting with more serious conversation brings things back to a level playing field and connects you two through humor. And, as it turns out, being funny is crucial while flirting.
As per Psychology Today, psychologists have argued that being funny requires abstract thinking, creativity, and appreciation of your audience's mind. Essentially, a good sense of humor reveals a quick brain, and in turn, makes you that much more attractive!
16 Don't: Text Him Mundane Things
Texting a dude for the sake of texting him is just plain boring, and you shouldn't do it. Although it's not necessarily going to make you look crazy, it'll make you look uninteresting, which isn't so great either. A red flag for some guys, they may think you're just generally dull and have nothing else better to say.
Our advice is not to waste time texting trivial things like the weather or what you plan on eating but instead, offer up some conversation about things you're genuinely passionate about, like your hobbies, or your taste in music or movies. Better yet, ask him about his passions!
15 Do: Make The First Move And Send A Confident Text Every So Often
Although men enjoy the thrill of the chase and you might think you should wait for them to text you first, it doesn't hurt to take the reins every once in a while. Sure, you certainly don't always have to be the initiator of a good conversation, but surprising him from time to time is a pleasant way to show how confident you actually are!
Don't waste time with a boring "what's up," though; send him a fun quip or story of what you're up to, or better yet, show your man how flirtatious you can be and tell him how you can't wait to see him. It'll be sure to spice things up!
14 Don't: Text Him Emojis To Answer A Question
Guys like it when you can keep things short and to the point. That's why when you think you're being flirtatious by sending vague emojis as a means of being coy, he simply won't get it. If your man asks you a simple question, take the easy way out and respond with either a "yes" or "no," eliminating the guesswork.
The same goes for when your flame gives you a compliment. Don't be shy accepting it! If he asks you when you'll be free next, go ahead and tell him when. Keep things easygoing and light, and he'll, in turn, reciprocate fully!
13 Do: Accept His Flirty Compliment With Grace
Another thing that'll bother your beau is you ignoring the compliments he gives you. An adorable text gushing about your eyes or your personality should have you overjoyed and blushing—not shying away! Taking the time to send you an affectionate message means he's being vulnerable and telling you how he feels, so pushing that away is something his ego will find very hurtful.
Instead, don't be too humble to accept his sweet text—do so with grace, or even return the compliment! When you do the opposite, it'll definitely bum him out, and he may also see you as insecure.
12 Don't: Send Him The Infamous 'K'
We've all done this before, and it's never worked in our favor. When we're irked with our beau and want to get his attention, we send the infamous one-liners such as "k" and "fine." Sending these petty texts when things are, in fact, far from fine, is what we sometimes think is the perfect way to get our point across. In reality, guys dislike it and would love it if you were just upfront with them, squashing your irritation.
Take note of this and skip the passive-aggressive jabs. Honestly, they'll never help and will only make the situation much tenser.
11 Do: Use Proper Grammar
Knowing that you have a good handle on the English language is very attractive, and guys certainly notice and appreciate it. Using sloppy grammar is a surefire way of turning him off, and it's so easy to fix! Use your autocorrect when in doubt—it'll correct those pesky misspellings and other errors that we sometimes miss.
Another thing to remember is that you're not a teen, either, so avoid abbreviations unless you're genuinely in a rush and don't have time to talk. Better yet, just hold off texting him back until you genuinely have the time to sit down and do it properly!
10 Don't: Send A 'Hey' With 10 Extra 'Yyyyy's
You're an adult, you should be texting like one, too. Extra letters in your daily "hey" message are unnecessary and can make you come across as annoying. The same goes with saying things like "Hiiiii" and "Goodnighttttt." You're not coming across as quirky, and you definitely don't want to seem whiny.
If your concern is that a simple "Hey" text is boring, try throwing in a question in there, too. Ask your man how he's doing or better yet—ask him out. Reserve those extra letters for when you're looking to emphasize something dramatic or fun going on in your life!
9 Do: Send A Meme Mid-Day
Let your sense of humor shine while you're texting your new guy! Sending a meme when you come across something funny is a great way to connect the two of you and makes them realize you're thinking about them. The best thing about memes is that they're highly relatable when you pick the proper one, too, so they're a perfect way to get someone laughing.
Don't even worry about whether or not it's a weird thing to do—memes are so prevalent in this day and age that they're completely normal. In fact, you can even relate it to an experience you two have shared or that you've told him about—he'll find it that much more hilarious!
8 Don't: Say 'I Guess...'
Sending a text saying "I guess" or "sure" to a question makes you sound like you're not interested, so it's definitely something you should avoid. According to a survey taken by Her Campus, a Florida State University senior explained this perfectly, “I [don't like] it when a girl is unclear. When she says, ‘I guess,’ I usually take it to mean she’s not really into me."
Don't try and downplay wanting to see the cutie you're into. If he asks you out, just say yes. He'll be excited you want to see him and it will make the whole exchange that much easier!
7 Do: Put The Ball In His Court
Guys absolutely adore when things are laid out easily in front of them and when they don't have to guess how you feel. That's why putting the ball in their court and letting them decide when to see you next makes the entire exchange so much more stress-free. If you are interested in a guy, let him know, and allow him to take the next step. If he's genuinely interested, he'll tell you right away!
If you've just come back from a date with your new fella, don't be afraid to text him the simple following: "I had an awesome time last night. Let me know when you'd like to do it again!"
6 Don't: Ask Him Why He's Not Texting Back
This one's a big no-no, especially if you haven't been seeing your new flame for very long yet. Don't ask why you haven't gotten a text back; it'll make you seem quite needy and even slightly possessive of his time. Even worse, it'll make him think you don't have anything better to do. Give him some space, and ask him next time you see him why it takes him so long to respond, posing it as a flirtatious joke.
Accept that your beau has a life outside of you. The quicker you do, the better your text exchanges will be.
5 Do: Ask Him For Advice
Although you're perfectly capable of googling anything you need help with, sometimes just shoot your guy a text and ask him for advice instead. Men love sharing their expert opinions on nearly everything, so go ahead and make him feel important. If you're looking for a simple excuse to talk to your man, this is the golden ticket to get him to start talking. It'll stroke his ego that you think so highly of him and think his opinion is so important!
One thing to note, just be sure to ask him about something he actually knows about—not a random topic that he won't be able to help you with (or might have to google himself!).
4 Don't: Send Him Rapid-Fire Texts (Or Anyone, For That Matter)
Sending one word per message is one of the most annoying texting sins you can commit—not just with guys, but to our BFs, too—or anyone for that matter. Why? Imagine being in a meeting or trying to get ready for the day and feeling or hearing your phone vibrate multiple times in a row.
It would make any sane person throw their phone in another room or even worse—at a wall. It definitely does not come across as funny or cute. Luckily, this is one of those easy fixes that can simply be solved by sending your man one long message, or maybe two if the situation warrants it.
3 Do: Pick A Place To Meet Up And Let Him Know Decision-Making Isn't Hard
Women have trouble picking restaurants and types of foods to eat, and this is a hilarious joke men like to bring up any chance they get. Do the opposite and surprise your man by taking charge of the conversation and suggesting a fantastic spot to go get some grub!
Being able to make a decision is attractive since it proves to your beau that you know exactly what you want and aren't afraid to pipe up about it. We definitely like to be accommodating at times, but being able to offer suggestions or share a spot that you enjoy going to takes the pressure off you both!
2 Don't: Send Texts Looking For Validation
Trust us, if a guy is dating you, he's definitely into you. Sending texts angling for relationship validation will only make him think you're insecure, and there's no need for that! Your confidence is a huge reason why your man is interested, so next time you're feeling that insecurity come along, just get away from your phone.
These moments usually occur when he takes forever to text back, so just distract yourself and go do something else. What's even better is working on building your own self-confidence, as you should never need to seek it from someone else. Besides, he's trying to live life too, and his phone isn't always a priority.
1 Do: Send A 'Have A Great Day' Text
You can do all the decoding you want, but at the end of the day, guys are simple when it comes to texting. No hidden agendas, no beating around the bush, they want things to be smooth, and sometimes, that's all it takes.
Keep things light and send your guy a sweet good morning text to start his day off right. It'll make him smile, and he'll certainly appreciate it. You, on the other hand, will come across as easygoing and positive, and he won't think you're high maintenance! After all, who wouldn't want something as sweet as "have a great day" light up their phone screens first thing in the morning?
Sources: Her Campus, Psychology Today