“Toxic” and “good partner” don’t go together quite as well as peanut butter and jelly. If a girl is dating a guy who is toxic or shows signs that his ex-girlfriend was, she can be sure her relationship is destined for doom. Sure, everyone has their less-than-optimal traits; nobody’s perfect. But there’s a big difference between not being perfect and being toxic. While the Britney Spears song is catchy, a guy who is toxic is definitely not a catch.
How can a girl tell if her man is toxic? And what about his ex? If she was toxic, it may have affected him, to the point where he’s still in shambles or at least somewhat shaken up. Without knowing the signs, a girl may get deeper into a relationship with a toxic guy or one who is dealing with the aftermath of being in a relationship with a toxic woman. Talk about baggage…
These signs show if a guy is toxic and are reliable indicators a girl needs to look out for. And, if he had a toxic ex, keeping an eye out for the evidence is also imperative. While she may not want to break up with her guy if any of these signs are spotted, none of them are helpful in terms of maintaining a healthy or happy relationship. Hopefully things change for the better and the relationship can travel along a positive path. Otherwise, the toxicity will cause it to crumble.
10 Signs He’s Toxic:
20 He Flies Off the Handle
If a guy has a hot temper and loses his cool at the slightest sign of something not going exactly as he’d hoped, it’s a pretty good sign he’s toxic. Who needs a man who can’t control his rage? Not only is it unpredictable but it can make you feel anxious. Guys who fly off the handle are hard to handle.
While showing one’s emotions is nothing to frown upon, being unable to manage them is something else entirely. A girl needs to trust that her guy won’t blow his stack at any second. He doesn’t have to be calm and collected 24/7, but he does need to reel it in when he realizes he’s gone off the deep end.
19 He Snaps At People He Doesn’t Know
Guys who give the middle finger to perfect strangers and get into confrontations with folks at the grocery store or mall need to be watched. And their girlfriends should worry. It is bad enough if a guy snaps at people he knows, but to snap at those he has never met is a sure sign he has lost his cool. If this is his way of being “macho,” he has obviously made a major misstep.
Frequent altercations and arguments that cause disruption and chaos are signs that a guy’s unstable. Being in public with such a guy is sure to be embarrassing, leaving a girl in tears or worried that he’ll one day snap at someone she knows.
18 He Can’t Keep A Job
When a guy loses his job, it can be a real confidence “kick in the butt.” But things happen, and for the most part, the guy will get back on track and land a new gig. Then there are those guys who can never seem to keep a job. They get hired, and in a few short weeks or a couple of months, they’re back home on the couch complaining. Perhaps these guys should realize it’s their own fault that they can’t hold down a job. Their various employers are giving them a chance, but once they mess up one time too many, the bosses fire them.
Perhaps these guys don’t follow through on their assignments. Maybe they can’t get along with others at work. It could be that they don’t treat their bosses with respect. Whatever the reason, if a guy goes through jobs faster than he does his underwear, a girl should see “toxic” written all over him.
17 He Has Perpetual Road Rage
If the idea of going on a road trip with her guy sounds like a bad one, it could be due to the fact that her guy is a nightmare on wheels. The nonstop honking, “flipping the bird” to other drivers, swerving, and swearing make a drive with this type of dude dangerous and something of a near-death experience.
While everyone else on the road seems to have no issues with the other drivers, this toxic guy is using his car like he's in an action movie, weaving in and out of lanes and causing a commotion. Any girl with a guy like this would be much better off taking public transportation.
16 He Drinks To Excess
A glass or two of wine with dinner or some beers with the guys seems totally reasonable. Even a late night at the club where “one too many” is a sign of a fun time out is A-OK every now and then. But a guy who always drinks to the point of blacking out is a bad thing. And he’s probably toxic. Yes, there are people with serious issues and that’s something they should probably seek help for. Yet there are those guys who just love a good time and think the best place to have it is at the bar…every night.
If he’s as drunk as a skunk more times than not, his girl better decide if she can deal with a boyfriend who’s never without his bottle.
15 He Steals
This one’s a doozy. A guy who takes what doesn’t belong to him is toxic to the core. He may be in a predicament but that’s still no reason to steal. He could wind up behind bars, making a relationship quite hard for his girl to commit to. And does she really want to be with him anyway?
While he may be remorseful for his wrongdoings, this toxic behavior is not something a girl should have to stand for. He’s certainly liable to do it again, or commit an even worse wrongdoing the next time. He may have stolen her heart, but if he steals anything more, it’s time for her to toss out her toxic guy.
14 He’s Constantly Crabby
Is being in a bad mood such a bad thing? If it’s constant, then yes. While nobody can be chipper all the time, when a guy is always a crotchety crab, it can be downright depressing. No girl wants to deal with a guy who never smiles, especially when he’s not just blue, but a bother.
Perhaps it’s because the guy has nothing going for him. Or maybe he’s just the type of complainer who finds something wrong with everything. A gal needs an uplifting fella who wants to make her smile. If he’s such a crab, perhaps he should go solo. It’s not like his presence leads to anything positive.
13 He Does Dangerous Things
Some girls love a “bad boy,” but when his cool charisma and daring ways go a step too far, his once-alluring actions can become toxic. A guy who runs with a fast crowd and gets himself into dangerous situations is one to avoid at all costs. He may find this type of lifestyle appealing and exciting, but his girl never asked to be involved in such mischievous matters.
While he may be able to get away with his hardly run-of-the-mill routine, there’s still the possibility that peril is waiting right around the corner. Before she’s stuck in the middle of mayhem, she should say sayonara.
12 He Sneaks Around
A bit of mystery keeps a relationship spicy but too much sneaking around is a sign of trouble. When a girl cannot trust her guy, she probably has something to worry about. A woman’s intuition is a real thing, and her gut feeling usually has something solid backing it up.
The question is why is this guy such a sneak? What does he have to hide? If he can’t be transparent with his girl, who can he be honest with? If a guy is sneakier than a snake, he’s probably a slime ball. The girl ought to slither out of the situation.
11 He Fights With His Parents
Not every guy gets along swimmingly with his folks. Family drama is a real thing, and years of ups and downs can be draining. But there has got to come a time where some sort of peace offering must take place. The guy doesn’t have to be the son of the year. But he does have to be respectful. And if he truly has a bad relationship with his parents, perhaps they should avoid each other unless they can work out a reasonable truce.
If he fights with his parents all the time, that’s a toxic dynamic. Certainly something a girl should not have to deal with.
10 Signs His Ex Was Toxic:
10 He Still Checks Her Social Media
Once a relationship has run its course, a healthy thing to do would be to quit scrolling through one another’s social media. Unless the two have remained friendly and on good terms, nothing good comes from checking up on an ex’s social media happenings.
If a guy does this, it could be because his ex was toxic. Maybe he’s keeping tabs on her activities because he’s concerned, or worried she’s plain crazy. He’s gotta get off her feed fast if he wants to move forward. “Unfriend” should be her ultimatum. And if he continues to sneak into her accounts, his girl should start to wonder why he’s so obsessed.
9 He’s Worried You’ll Step Out
If a guy is always concerned that his girl will step out on him, it could be due to past relationship drama. Maybe his ex stepped outside the relationship and he still can’t get over being hurt. Now he’s projecting his feelings onto his new girl, a girl who never even looks at another guy, let alone has any ideas about stepping out.
Not only does this hurt a girl’s feelings, but it makes her guy seem insecure. This is a toxic way to run a relationship. A girl can’t walk on eggshells around her man to make sure he’s always feeling super confident. He needs to deal with his issues and not allow whatever a toxic ex did ruin what could be something special.
8 He Brings Her Up When They Argue
Every relationship has its hard times. Sometimes couples argue, and that’s totally normal. As long as they can work it out with a positive outcome, all is well and they can get back to being happy. But when a guy brings up his ex every time an argument takes place, it could be because his ex was toxic. Maybe he’s starting to think his current girlfriend is exhibiting similar behaviors.
No girl wants to be compared to an ex, especially when it’s the negative parts of her personality being brought up. A toxic ex needs to stay in the past. She has no place in a guy’s new relationship, particularly when the couple is going through a rough patch.
7 She Still Has A Hold On Him
Sometimes a guy never gets over an ex because he still has a place for her deep in his heart. Then there is the guy who is constantly thinking about his ex because she has a hold over him, almost like a spell of sorts.
Her toxic behavior has him consumed and confused, constantly taking up his time as he can’t think of anything else when memories of her pop into his head. It is like she has a voodoo doll of him and she is pushing pins to push his buttons.
Toxic then, toxic forever. That hold is stronger than crazy glue.
6 Her New Boyfriend Makes Him Insecure
When a guy breaks up with his ex, it won’t be long before she finds herself a new guy and things get serious. But, just because she has a new boyfriend, her toxic behavior might not simply go away. She will use her power of persuasion to get her new guy to go after her ex, upsetting him so that she can send him into a tizzy.
Perhaps she’s still steamed that the relationship took a turn for the worse or maybe she gets a thrill out of making guys’ lives miserable. Either way, she’s toxic and time won’t change her ways.
5 He Doesn’t Think He Deserves His New Girlfriend
After being with a toxic girl, a guy can lose his confidence in the romance department. He may believe that he’s unworthy of love, undeserving of the new special someone in his life. All his memories of his toxic ex are hard to erase, so he’s always insecure and unsure of what’s to come. He’ll burden his new girl with his past dilemmas and drama and convince himself that she’ll be just as toxic as his ex was.
But, he’ll only do this because he’s feeling low and lonely. He knows his new girl is amazing, so he’s trying to sabotage the situation before something bad happens. He simply can’t go through the same girlfriend game again.
4 He Doesn't Want To Get His Stuff Back From Her Place
After breaking up with his ex, a guy needs to get his things back if he left anything important at her place. But when a girl is toxic, it’s not that easy to slip in to pick up the stuff. She won’t let him come by, even though he has a bunch of belongings that he needs, and she certainly doesn’t deserve to keep any of them for herself.
From clothing to video games to other odds and ends, the guy wants his gear but he’s too skittish to get it. She’ll close the door in his face if he shows up unannounced, so he’s not quite sure what to do. But she’ll make sure he never sees his things again.
3 She Owes Him Money
Before breaking up, lots of times a guy will loan some cash to his girl if she’s short on dough. Perhaps she lends him a few bucks here and there as well. But once a couple calls it quits, if one owes the other a large sum of money, things can get awkward.
If a girl is toxic, getting her to pay up can be problematic. She’ll likely refuse to reimburse him, even though she knows paying him back is the decent thing to do. Since she’s a drama queen, he is hesitant to even ask for what’s rightfully his, causing him to have to ask his new girlfriend for a handout.
2 He Has A Hard Time Opening Up To His New Girl
When a guy is used to being with a toxic girl, he can’t simply snap out of it. Even after they’ve broken up, it can be hard to trust a girl, even if she’s nothing like the toxic ex. Opening up can be a challenge, and he’ll be inclined to keep his feelings bottled up inside, leaving his new girl wondering if their relationship is as strong as she thought it was.
This closed-off side to him can cause him trouble with new relationships, since he’ll never be able to go deep and get too personal. His ex’s toxicity is still creeping into every corner of his life.
1 He’s Concerned She’ll Spread Rumors About Him
A toxic ex with a grudge is the worst kind of ex-girlfriend a guy could have. If she is bitter about the breakup, chances are that she won’t just let it go and move on. She will be eager to plot her revenge and make her ex’s life a nightmare. She’ll take to social media to spread lies about him, ruining his reputation and causing issues with his new girl. She won’t stop even if he begs her to, so he never knows what she’ll do next.
Her behavior is out of control and there’s nothing he can do to stop her from being so mean. Talking any sense into her is a total waste of time.