10 Signs He's Not Down (& 10 He Secretly Wants To Date)

When a guy likes a girl, it's obvious. One just needs to know the signs that give his feelings away.

After all, no one wants to be that girl who was so delusional she thought the guy was actually into her when, in reality, he was just too much of a gentleman to hurt her feelings.

But what if the guy is attentive one day and aloof on another? Is it because he actually likes the girl but has been scarred by too many rejections or heartbreaks in the past? Or is it because he's just keeping her around to boost his ego until the day he actually finds his dream girl?

To answer that, she has to watch his behavior closely and recognize the patterns.

So here are 10 signs he's totally friend-zoned us. And 10 that reveal he's low-key awestruck and wants to date.

From catching stares when she's not looking to introducing her as his "sister," the following pointers are guaranteed to evoke "Ooh!" and "Ouch!" in equal measure. And that's a good thing.

Why? Because if the signs suggest he's friend-zoned us, it's best to walk away with our self-respect intact and make space for someone better to walk into our lives.

And if the signs suggest he's secretly smitten, we might as well be a boss girl about it and admit our feelings first!

20 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Talks To Us About Other Girls He Has A Crush On

If a guy is interested in you romantically, he'll never ruin his chances with you by talking about another girl he has a serious crush on. He won't even discuss the girls he might be dating casually. Because that can easily make you think his heart is taken and inspire you to move on with someone else.

So if he shares the deets about the girls he has been seeing or the special someone he likes a lot, it's a clear sign he has friend-zoned you. In fact, it's worse if he openly tells you stories of his conquests. Because that's him treating you like you are one of the guys!

19 He Secretly Wants To Date If We Catch Him Staring At Us Often


Have you ever caught him staring at you while he thought you weren't looking? Or got that intel from one of your girlfriends who caught him staring at you a bit too often?

Well, if he has been doing just that, it's a BIG sign he's got a crush on you.

It's a no-brainer really. Because we all do that when we have a crush on someone. We just can't help but stare at them every chance we get. And then look away quickly with our heart pounding in our chest as soon as they start to turn our way!

18 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Never Wants To Hang Out Alone


Here's a simple way to know whether a guy has friend-zoned you or not. Casually tell him you are going to the theatre to watch a movie that evening. And then ask him if he would like to join you.

If he turns you down by saying he has to be somewhere else (without specifying where), it's a sign he's not comfortable being in an intimate situation with you. If he gives a genuine reason why he can't come that day but makes plans for another day, it's a sign he's interested. But if he says yes, and then shows up with a bunch of other friends, it's a sign he truly has friend-zoned you.

17 He Secretly Wants To Date If He Fumbles A Lot When We Are Around


Here's a handy trick to figure out if a guy secretly likes you more than just a friend. Just pin him with your gaze when you have a conversation. If he starts to stutter or fumble with his words, or even starts blushing outright, it's a clear sign he's interested in you.

In fact, you don't even have to talk to him for him to become flustered. Your presence in the room will be enough to make him nervous even if he's on the other end.

Just remember: if he's surrounded by his friends, he won't be nervous. Instead, he'll start talking louder or behaving in a manner that draws attention towards him. Almost as if he's preening like a peacock!

16 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Makes Sure To Maintain Distance


If a guy you are chummy with makes sure to maintain some distance between you, it's a sign he has friend-zoned you. And this includes avoiding handshakes and hugs or even sitting next to you when you are out with more friends in tow.

Trust us, it's not because he's shy and afraid of rejection. That's just your love-addled brain tricking you into reading into things that don't exist. In reality, he knows you have a crush on him and is trying his best to be gentlemanly about it by maintaining distance. He might feel uncomfortable, but he's doing his best to keep things cool.

15 He Secretly Wants To Date If All His Guy Friends Know Everything About Us


Honestly, if all his guy friends know everything about you (at least, as much as he does), it's a clear sign he's really, really into you.

A good way to pick up this cue is by watching his friends when you interact with him. Do they nudge each other a lot? Nudge him from time to time when they think your attention is elsewhere? Maybe even talk about his achievements and how nice he is (so you think he's a great catch)?

Trust us, if a guy has a serious crush on someone, his best friends will always know who she is.

14 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Has Tried To Set Us Up With His Friends


If a guy is interested in dating you, he would never set you up with any of his friends. He would never risk you falling for that other guy. So if he has done exactly that–offered to set you up on a blind date with a really cool buddy of his–it's a big sign he just wants to be friends with you. Nothing more.

Just remember: if you choose to take the hint and go on the date with this other person, you will only end up wasting your time. Because guys are not that great at figuring out compatibility and so he might actually have set you up with his friend because your physical attributes are his "type."

13 He Secretly Wants To Date If He Wants The Two Of Us To Catch A Movie Together


Well, it doesn't get any more obvious than this. Because we all know how intimate it can feel when you are sitting side by side in a movie theatre with darkness surrounding you and nobody paying attention to what you are doing.

So, if he asks you to join him for a movie–especially one that he knows you were excited to watch–it's a big sign that he low-key wants to date you but doesn't have the courage to breach the subject outright.

Trust us. It's his sneaky way of asking you out without facing outright rejection. After all, what's a casual movie date between friends if it turns out he's read you wrong?

12 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Never Flirts Even When He's Tipsy


Here's the thing. People don't just tell the truth when they are tipsy. They just lose the inhibitions that keep them from doing whatever they want to do. So if he never makes a move on you even when tipsy, it's a clear sign he never wanted to do so to begin with.

And by "making a move," we don't mean admitting how much he likes you or anything. We mean simple things like asking you to dance. Or, just offering to walk you back home once the group calls it a night. So if nothing of that sort has ever happened, you are definitely in the friend-zone for him.

11 He Secretly Wants To Date If He Blushes A Lot


Blushing is the quickest way to know someone likes you a lot. But don't be on the lookout for just reddened cheeks. Because some guys tend to go red in the ears.

The point is, if he keeps blushing when you are having a conversation, it's a clear sign he has a huge crush on you and can feel his heart hammering away in his chest just from being close to you.

Just remember: guys like these tend to be on the shy, under-confident side. So if you return his feelings, we suggest asking him out on a movie date. The truth will come tumbling out when he realizes you like him too.

10 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Asks Us For Dating Advice


Life is not a romantic comedy where the guy who secretly has a crush on you will pretend to ask you for dating advice and then do those things for you. In real life, if he is asking you for dating advice, it's because you are a girl and he wants the female perspective to woo another woman.

And don't even try convincing yourself that it's his way of sneakily finding out what you like. Because if he was genuinely into you, he would not bring up the topic of dating at all. After all, he can't risk you finding out and rejecting him!

9 He Secretly Wants To Date If He Compliments Us Often


When a guy likes a girl, he can't help it but compliment her every chance he gets.

One day it might be about her new hairdo (which, to be honest, is another sign he's interested since he noticed it right away). Another day it could be about her clothing style. The third day it might be about her personality, or one of her accomplishments, or even her taste in music.

The point is, if he secretly wants to date you, he'll notice every little thing about you and be on the lookout to pass a compliment whenever possible, even for things other people wouldn't normally notice.

8 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Answers Our Texts On And Off


To be honest, guys are not dense as people make them seem. That's why when a girl they are not into starts to develop feelings for them, they immediately know her intentions and friend-zone her before she can make a move.

And one of the things they do is respond to her messages every now and then, but not regularly. In fact, they might even exclaim they were busy and forgot to reply if she asks them about it.

Trust us, if he was into you, he would not hesitate to text you every day. Even if it's just to say hi.

7 He Secretly Wants To Date If He Behaves Chivalrously With Us


If a guy friend of yours treats you like a lady while he behaves normally with all his other girl friends, it's a sign that he secretly wants to date you. Trust us, the 21st century has not changed that fact. Not even if he is a staunch supporter of the Women's Empowerment Movement.

Why? Because chivalry is about showing how much one cares about someone. It's not about helping out the weak. So when he pulls open doors for you or offers you his coat, it's a sign he likes you. Plus, it gives him the perfect opportunity to catch your eye and share a moment with you.

6 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Has Introduced Us As His Sister Or 'Best Mate'


There's no getting around this one. Still, a lot of girls, delude themselves into believing that him calling them "sister" or "best mate" is him trying to hide that he actually likes them. Nope. He does not. Because if he did, he would have introduced you by your name at the very least.

Trust us, when a guy introduces you as a family member even when you are not really family, or proclaims that you are his "best buddy," he's actually telling the world that he and you are not a romantic pair. And never will be, so they better not even suggest it!

5 He Secretly Wants To Date If He Finds Our Lame Jokes Funny


When we like someone, everything they do immediately becomes cute. And everything they say immediately becomes funny. Even the lamest jokes. You know that, don't you? After all, we all have gone through those awkward teenage years with those high-stake crushes.

Guys are no different. So if he laughs at every single lame joke of yours even when others groan out loud, it's a sign that he really, really likes you.

But don't rely on just this one sign. Because it can also mean he has the same sense of humor as you. Watch out for a few more signs before you draw your conclusion.

4 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He's Never Groomed When He Sees Us


When a guy likes a girl, he will go out of his way to look handsome if there's even the slightest possibility that she might see him. Thus, the grocery shopping sprees with well-groomed hair and good clothes (if she happens to be a neighbor). And the enhanced fashion instincts that confound his friends.

So if he has never made an effort to look good when he hangs out with you, it's because he doesn't care what you think of him one way or another. Just remember: some guys love dressing up just for the sake of confidence. So this sign is valid only when he exhibits a few more on this list.

3 He Secretly Wants To Date If He Tells Us We Can Count On Him To Be There Always


There's a difference between when a best friend tells us that we can count on them always and when it's a guy who secretly is in love with us. The tone and overall implications are different. Which you can easily pick up on with your superior female intuition.

So if you feel a twinge in your gut when he proclaims he will always have your back, trust that twinge. Because it's his creative way of saying "I love you" without facing rejection. Plus, he also wants you to think of him as your forever guy. Not sure? Ask him for help one time and see what happens.

2 We're Totally Friend-Zoned If He Laughs It Off When Someone Suggests We Would Make A Good Couple


This scenario doesn't happen too often. But his reaction, when it does happen, can reveal a lot.

For example, if someone asks you if you are together and he immediately says that's ridiculous or laughs it off, it's a BIG sign that he is not interested in you in a romantic way. In fact, he might even follow it up by saying you two hang out often because you are his "best buddy." Which again, is a silent proclamation that you are friend material (to him) and not girlfriend material. Unless, of course, he also turns bright red when this happens, one of those telltale signs he's actually crushing hard.

1 He Secretly Wants To Date If He Stops Talking To Us When We Date Someone Else


If you have been friends with a guy for a long time and he stops talking to you abruptly once you start seeing someone or behaves in a rude manner with them, it's a clear sign that he likes you more than a friend and is hurting now that you found someone else.

Unlike girls, who stick around the guy they have fallen for with the hopes that he will one day realize how much he loves her, guys don't stick around when it becomes apparent that they do not have a chance. They tend to dislike the emotions such situations bring up, so they'll make themselves scarce.

More in Love