Nowadays, it seems like everyone has one thing on their mind when they start texting a new guy: is he going to stick around and commit, or is he just going to ghost when things start getting serious? The term “ghosting” is everywhere, and even people who have not experienced it themselves understand exactly what it means. When someone “ghosts,” they simply stop replying to messages without any explanation. There’s no “Sorry, this just isn’t working” text for closure, or anything relatively respectful like that. Nope, the person just sort of disappears, and whoever got rejected is left sitting around wondering what went wrong. But unfortunately, after being ghosted, there are never any real answers as to what happened.
This means that girls everywhere are wondering how they can tell whether or not a guy is about to ghost. Because if he is, it’s better to back off than to get too involved, right? Sometimes, a girl just needs to protect her heart and stay a little guarded until a guy can show a higher level of commitment.
Here are 10 signs that he’s totally about to ghost, and 10 signs that he’s really in it for the long haul.
20 He’s Ghosting: He’s REALLY Slow To Text Back
Sometimes, a girl might want to tell herself that just because a guy takes forever to text back, it doesn’t mean he’s not still interested in her, right? Well, unfortunately, this is usually wrong. According to Thought Catalog, a guy taking longer and longer to text or call back is often one of the earliest red flags that he's about to ghost.
Why would a guy take so long to text back? It’s probably because he is trying to let a girl down easy, but he isn’t quite ready to call it quits just yet. It’s a sure sign of future ghosting.
19 He’s Loyal: He Deletes His Dating Apps
A guy who is about to ghost will no doubt still have dating apps on his phone. This is one of the clearest signs that a guy is not truly invested in the girl he is supposedly dating—he is trying to keep his options open, and when someone “better” comes along, he will almost definitely ghost.
On the other hand, if a girl and guy meet on a dating app, and then he deletes the app once they get together, it’s because he is loyal. He wants to stick with just one girl, and he doesn’t care about any other potential “options.”
18 He’s Ghosting: He’s Vague About His Schedule
Why is it so hard to make plans with some men? Well, it’s because sometimes, a guy doesn’t really want to make concrete plans with one girl—he wants to keep his schedule flexible because he isn’t committed to her.
Men who keep their schedules vague are typically hiding something. If a girl is seeing a guy yet never seems to know quite where he is or who he is with, it usually means there is something going on behind the scenes that he does not want her to know. And unfortunately, he might be planning to ghost.
17 He’s Loyal: He Doesn’t Bother Playing Hard To Get
A guy who is planning to ghost will typically act like he’s “playing hard to get.” He won’t give straight answers, he’ll keep his girl on her toes and he’ll pretend that he is just on the verge of commitment—until suddenly, he’s nowhere to be found.
But, according to Allure, a guy who is straightforward about his feelings from the start is far less likely to ghost. He will show his true colours from the beginning. When a guy is just open about how he feels and doesn’t try to play games, it is pretty much always a good sign.
16 He’s Ghosting: He Makes Plans At The Last Minute
So, now that it’s established that a guy who never really gives a girl the full rundown of his schedule just might have something to hide, it’s time to discuss the type of guy who always seems to make plans last minute and never commits to anything in advance.
Guys who make plans at the last minute (and often cancel plans at the last minute, too) usually do it because they don’t care too much about the girls they’re making plans with, as Seventeen reports. It’s a very certain sign that he is thinking about ghosting sooner or later.
15 He’s Loyal: He’s Not Weird About His Phone
A guy who is about to ghost will always be a little hesitant to hand his phone over to you. If a girl asks a new guy she is seeing if she can borrow his phone to call someone (if hers died, for example), and he gets a bit weird about the whole thing, well, it’s no good.
A guy acting cagey around his phone almost always means that he has another girl on the side (and there’s a good chance that he will ghost because of it). A loyal guy won’t act weird when it comes to his phone.
14 He’s Ghosting: He Avoids Labels
Now, granted, not every woman is looking for a serious relationship, and therefore, many of them won’t care too much if a guy doesn’t insist on a label right away. But this popular new trend of men saying that they “don’t want to label things” is often just an excuse for them to ghost after a couple months of casually dating, without actually having to go through the difficult process of a breakup.
And at the end of the day, not having the official label of “boyfriend” means that they feel like they can ghost without remorse.
13 He’s Loyal: He’s Proactive About Planning Dates
So, at this point, it’s established that men who are super vague about their actual schedules, and men who never want to make plans until the day has arrived, are usually prime candidates for ghosting—there’s no way around it.
But, a guy who is proactive and straightforward about planning dates is probably not the kind of guy who is going to ghost. If he’s putting in that kind of effort, he is not the type to simply disappear without a trace, never to text back again. It shows that he is a good communicator from the start.
12 He’s Ghosting: He’s Not Affectionate In Public
A guy who refuses to be affectionate in public is actually showing some serious red flags. Sure, at first it’s normal—and some guys just aren’t totally comfortable with PDA. That’s no big deal. But according to Cosmopolitan, a guy who doesn’t even want to hold hands or kiss on the cheek in public is sort of making a statement. He doesn’t want the world to know that he is seeing someone.
He wants the benefits of being in a relationship while still coming across as single so he doesn’t close himself off to other opportunities—and he might ghost.
11 He’s Loyal: He Loses His Ex’s Number
In this day and age, some people find it totally acceptable to be friends with an ex, while others wouldn’t dream of dating someone who keeps in touch with someone from their past. Look, there are plenty of faithful people out there who remain friends with an ex or two, but when a guy has already lost his ex’s number, there’s a better chance that he will stay totally loyal and won’t ghost.
A guy who is truly committed just won’t feel like he has any reason to hold onto the phone numbers of past flings. And, if he and his ex are just really good friends, there's no reason why he shouldn't be able to communicate with her in your presence, as Elite Daily reports.
10 He’s Ghosting: He Says He’s “Not Ready” For A Relationship
Yes, it’s true that some guys just happen to meet a girl before they’re really “ready” for a relationship, but they’re open about this and willing to give it some time before making a decision on whether to become official or not.
But it’s very common for men to say that they’re not ready for a relationship just because, well, they’re looking for an excuse to easily ghost later on. It’s good to be a little bit wary of guys who simply say they’re not ready and show no real signs of changing—ghosting is a real risk.
9 He’s Loyal: He Surrounds Himself With Loyal Friends
They say that it’s easy to find out whether or not a guy is worth going for by taking a good, long look at his friends. Let’s face it, people usually attract what they put out, and a worthwhile guy will have a circle of supportive and caring friends.
It's always smart to pay close attention to a guy’s group of closest friends. Their behaviour can tell a girl a lot about how they will act in a relationship. Are his friends loyal to their girlfriends? Are they committed? Or do they have a bad track record?
8 He’s Ghosting: He Never Plans Real Dates
When the girl is always the one who is taking the initiative to plan dates, it’s definitely a warning sign. Women should take note if they always seem to be the ones planning dates and reaching out to decide on restaurants or other things to do.
The guy should be taking the lead sometimes, too—and if he’s not, it might mean that he just doesn’t care too much about going on actual dates. Guys with this mindset definitely seem to have a higher chance of ghosting, so women should be wary of investing too much time with them.
7 He’s Loyal: He Has Platonic Boundaries With Other Women
A loyal guy can maintain friendships with other women without things looking sketchy or straying into unfaithful territory. Men who are mature and ready for commitment have no problem with boundaries when it comes to female friends.
But the kind of guy who is prone to ghosting? Well, he will be looking for opportunities to bounce. And he might think that keeping those doors open with his female friends means an easy out if he gets bored of his current relationship. Luckily, it’s generally quite obvious when a guy is incapable of sticking to appropriate boundaries with friends.
6 He’s Ghosting: He’s Secretive About His Past
Look, every single person out there has a few things in their past that they would take back if they could. That’s just part of being human, and it’s perfectly normal. But according to The Independent, beware if a guy acts totally strange about his past.
If he never seems to want to explain his past relationships or romantic history, it could be because he has a history of ghosting or making himself look bad in comparison to his girlfriends. A guy should be able to be open about his past to a certain extent, even if he had some bumps in the road.
5 He’s Loyal: He Always Makes Time To Call
Sure, for the past few years it’s been all about texting—do people even call anymore? Especially guys? Or are those days just behind us? Well, the truth is that there are still guys out there who will call, and they are the guys that are worth waiting for.
There are lots of women out there who still strongly prefer it when a guy makes the effort to call them—and the good news is that these guys also seem less likely to ghost. Calling says that he is better at communicating and wants a deeper connection.
4 He’s Ghosting: He Keeps In Touch With His Ex
Look, as previously mentioned, just because a guy keeps in touch with an ex it doesn’t mean that he is destined to leave, or that he still wants to be with her in some way. That said, a guy who keeps in touch with an ex is definitely a little more likely to ghost—simply because it means that a door to his past relationship is still open.
If things get hard in his current relationship, what’s stopping him from simply reaching out to the ex and seeing if she would be down to see him again?
3 He’s Loyal: He Doesn’t Have Anything To Hide
A guy who has something to hide will always make it more obvious than he thinks. There will always be little clues in his behaviour, small habits that give him away—like hiding his phone or being vague and secretive about his friends, his whereabouts or his weekend plans.
The kind of guy who is basically an open book is the kind of guy that a girl should hold out for, because a guy like that is just not going to ghost. Honest men don’t want to ghost—just disappearing like that would make them feel guilty.
2 He’s Ghosting: He Cancels Plans Frequently
If a guy always seems to be cancelling plans, it means he is probably only weeks (or a month or two at best) away from ghosting. According to Madame Noire, a guy who is always cancelling plans - sometimes consecutively, so you never see him - is about to ghost you. Clearly, he's not invested in the relationship at all. It's even more telling if he cancels on you at the last minute. It shows a lack of respect.
If he can’t even commit to weekend plans, can he really commit to an actual relationship? Deep down, every girl already knows the answer, and unfortunately, it’s no.
1 He’s Loyal: He Doesn’t Put Himself In Tempting Situations
It should be noted that being unfaithful is not an accident—it is always a choice, and a guy can essentially choose whether or not he wants to totally commit, or if he wants to stray. A guy who actively chooses to stay out of tempting situations (for example, wild parties without his girlfriend present, or hanging out with an ex on the weekends) is way less likely to ghost.
But a guy who is totally fine with ghosting anyway? Well, he’s probably not going to bother avoiding situations like this—for him, they are just a gateway to ghosting.