Sometimes, people get into relationships before they’re ready. Most people have jumped into a relationship before they were really ready for it at some point in their lives. Maybe they truly loved the other person and wanted to give it a chance, but in the end, they had a lot of growing to do on their own, and therefore it was never going to work. Or perhaps they genuinely thought they were over their ex, but realized they had assumed they were ready to move on before they had actually worked through the baggage of that previous relationship. It’s unfortunate when this happens, but this is exactly why it’s so important to spend some time flying solo before committing to someone.
Unfortunately, whether or not someone is actually ready for a relationship can be difficult to discern. Some people act like everything is smooth sailing until a few months into the relationship, when the truth suddenly starts to come out. Every girl deserves to be with a guy who is willing to be both vulnerable and committed. She shouldn’t have to play guessing games when it comes to his emotions. Here are 10 signs that he’s emotionally distant, and 10 signs that he’s ready for love.
20 Emotionally Distant: He Ignores Her Texts And Calls
Ignoring texts and calls is just never a good sign. According to Cosmopolitan, guys who often ignore texts and calls from their girlfriends usually do this because they are not very mature when it comes to communication.
A guy like this typically doesn’t seem to understand when his girlfriend gets upset about the silence on his end—she’s not asking for too much, just an answer, but he will often get on the defensive and act as though she is being too clingy. When a guy does this, it’s a sign that he is always going to be emotionally distant.
19 Ready For Love: He’s Quick To Respond
On the other hand, a man who is ready for love will make sure that he responds promptly to his girlfriend’s texts and calls. According to Allure, it’s partially because he is always genuinely happy to talk to his girl, and because he understands that even if something she’s talking about may not be of particular importance to him at that moment, she clearly cares, and he doesn’t want to give her the cold shoulder.
Responding to someone in a timely manner is just a basic sign of respect, so don’t lower your standards on this!
18 Emotionally Distant: He Doesn’t Trust Her Guy Friends
Every woman with a group of guy friends has probably encountered this problem in relationships! Many guys just can’t seem to understand that yes, men and women can be friends without having any romantic attraction.
According to Seventeen, a guy who tends to get very jealous of your guy friends often acts this way because he is insecure about himself. And let’s be real, a guy who is still struggling with too many of his own insecurities is not ready for a serious relationship. Remember, a little bit of jealousy is understandable, but too much means it’s not a healthy relationship.
17 Ready For Love: He’s Totally Over His Ex
In order to be happy in a new relationship, both parties have to be totally over their previous relationships. This is just common sense, but many people jump into a romance with someone new before they are truly ready—and then someone else just ends up getting hurt in the end.
According to Cosmopolitan, a guy who isn’t over his ex is just going to cause trouble for you in the long run. You might think of him as “the one,” but he only sees you as a rebound. Find a guy who truly has room in his heart for someone new.
16 Emotionally Distant: He Rarely Plans Real Dates
Nowadays, it’s common for a guy to think that just hanging out at his apartment and watching a movie on Netflix somehow counts as a real date—maybe it’s because so many people have a more casual outlook on dating.
But according to Allure, a guy who never seems to take the initiative to plan a real date is probably not emotionally invested in the relationship. He is hoping to get away with the bare minimum of effort, and he is being lazy. A guy who truly cares would be happy to go the extra mile to plan a lovely date.
15 Ready For Love: He Really Has His Life Together
Have you ever dated a guy who always seemed to be bouncing from job to job, crashing on his friends’ couches instead of getting his own place, or complaining about his failing grades in his college courses? According to Self, dating a guy who doesn’t have his own life together is always a bad idea.
Date a guy who can handle his own finances, has his living situation sorted out, and is motivated to continue growing as a person. Otherwise, you will end up trying to change a guy who deep down has no interest in changing for the better.
14 Emotionally Distant: He’s Tight-Lipped About His Past
Look, a guy who talks about his past all the time could be waving some red flags—but you and your man should both be able to be open about the people you dated in the past. Trying to hide it just comes across as problematic.
According to Glamour, a guy who can be honest about his past is generally more mature and emotionally stable than one who gets touchy about it. If he goes out of his way to avoid ever mentioning women he dated before you, it means there is something he doesn’t want you to know about.
13 Ready For Love: He Listens Carefully
Find a guy who knows how to listen—not a guy who interrupts you or always seems to be waiting for his turn to talk. According to Self, many women say that the biggest problem in their relationship is feeling as though their significant other doesn’t listen to them.
When you know that your concerns are being dismissed, and your boyfriend is tuning you out in favor of scrolling through social media on his phone, it makes you feel as though you’re not important. When a guy is always willing to listen, it’s because he wants to truly connect with you.
12 Emotionally Distant: He Says He Has Trust Issues
It’s normal for someone who has had their heart broken before to have some trust issues. However, according to Cosmopolitan, men often use this as an excuse for being emotionally distant.
The problem isn’t the fact that he has trust issues—the problem is that he has no intention of working on them, and he will pull the “trust issues” card every time he gets overly jealous towards you for no good reason. Be wary of a guy who says that he has trust issues but doesn’t seem to be making any effort to get past those issues.
11 Ready For Love: He Wants To Meet Her Family
When a guy says he wants to meet your family, that’s how you know this is the real deal! According to Allure, a guy who avoids meeting your family (or bringing you around his) is acting sketchy because he doesn’t see the relationship as legitimate, and he doesn’t want you to get the idea that it’s serious.
It’s definitely frustrating! But when a guy insists on meeting your family, it’s because he really cares about the relationship, and he wants to make a good impression on them. He thinks this relationship will last and he’s falling in love.
10 Emotionally Distant: He’s Not A Fan Of Labels
Sure, it’s the cool thing nowadays to say that you’re “not really into” labels for your relationship. But how many people really mean that, and how many are just playing along because their partner said they don’t like labels?
According to Cosmopolitan, many women say that they would prefer a committed relationship instead of a fling, but guys seem to feel differently. These women often feel like they have to go along with casual relationships or risk being alone. But a guy who can’t get comfortable with the idea of a label is emotionally distant and not ready for real love.
9 Ready For Love: He Cares About Her Dreams
A guy who truly loves you will be supportive of your dreams, full stop. There are no exceptions to this rule. According to Self, women say that one of the most important qualities they are seeking in a partner is a guy who will be there to lift them up when they're struggling to achieve their goals.
If you two want to stick it out for the long haul, you have to be the one supporting your partner when they are going for gold and working towards their dreams. You need to know your man is in your corner, rooting for you, too.
8 Emotionally Distant: He’s Not Sure What He’s Looking For
Has a guy ever told you that he’s just not really sure what he wants, and therefore, he thinks you guys should take it slow, or not aim for anything serious? Yeah, we’ve all been there at some point—and there’s no doubt that it’s super frustrating.
According to Self, it’s important to go for a guy who knows exactly what he wants from a relationship. A guy who is going to be wishy-washy about it is not going to be a great partner. He still has some learning and growing to do, and you need a guy who is secure.
7 Ready For Love: He Doesn’t Expect Her To Change
Being with a guy who tries to change you or mold you into someone you’re not is such a drag. It can feel like no matter what you do, you’re just never good enough for him. According to Allure, a guy who is trying to change his girlfriend does not have realistic expectations of women or relationships.
At the end of the day, it is best to date someone who is whole and complete on their own. That kind of guy won’t feel the need to change you—he will love you for who you are and celebrate your unique personality.
6 Emotionally Distant: He Won’t Say He Loves Her
Those three little words. It’s such a short, simple phrase, yet it means so much. According to Cosmopolitan, a guy who is afraid of saying “I love you” might be acting this way because he is emotionally guarded. Yes, we’ve all been heartbroken before, and saying those words again can be stressful.
But at the end of the day, we have to be able to take that leap if we want to be happy with someone else and give them the love that they truly deserve. If a guy won’t say “I love you,” it’s worth asking why he’s hesitant.
5 Ready For Love: He Daydreams About Their Future
If a guy wants to be with you for the long haul, he is naturally going to think about your shared future together. According to Allure, a guy who is totally comfortable talking about the future knows that he has big plans for his relationship.
On the other hand, a guy who rarely likes to make plans in advance is barely thinking past next week, let alone a few years from now. A guy who is ready to commit to a real future with you will always be down to talk about your plans for the next few years together.
4 Emotionally Distant: He Refuses To Talk About The Future
Now, what if you’re with a guy who acts like talking about the future is the most uncomfortable thing imaginable? What if he feels like discussing what you two might be doing a couple of years from now is way too much pressure? Unless you’ve literally just started dating, this is a serious red flag.
According to Cosmopolitan, this means that he either has no idea what he wants for himself in the future, or he does know what he wants but he doesn’t see you being part of that picture. Either way, this is your cue to call it quits.
3 Ready For Love: He Rarely Gets Jealous
When you’re dating a jealous guy, it can feel like you’re always just waiting for the next thing that he gets mad at. He thinks you’re too nice to the waiter? He thought that the guy calling you was your secret boyfriend and won’t believe you when you tell him it’s your cousin? He is suspicious of your plans for a “girls' night out?”
According to Glamour, these are all major red flags and serious signs of immaturity. A jealous guy will always find something about you that makes you feel insecure, so it’s best to walk away from him.
2 Emotionally Distant: He’s A Poor Communicator
Look, when it comes to communication, no one is perfect. We misunderstand each other, we make mistakes, and we feel uncomfortable about being honest. But, according to Psychology Today, poor communication means that a relationship is practically doomed.
If you two can’t manage to communicate your needs and wants, it’s going to end. When a man doesn’t communicate effectively with his girlfriend, she is left to play a guessing game to try and figure out what he wants. It’s not fair to her, and she will get frustrated quickly. Both people need to be mature about communication.
1 Ready For Love: He Always Makes Her A Priority
Yes, even when you are in a relationship, your family and friends still need to be high on your priorities list. But your significant other needs to be in one of the top spots, too.
According to Cosmopolitan, a guy who is worth your time will go out of his way to let you know that you are one of his main priorities. You will never have to wonder whether or not he truly cares, because he will always be open with you about his feelings. He won’t leave you guessing and confused. He’ll be straightforward, and you’ll be secure.
Sources: Allure, Cosmopolitan, Self, Seventeen, Glamour, Psychology Today