Online dating has literally taken over the relationship universe. Many couples today met through some sort of dating website. Dating sites can be pretty neat; it’s like an online catalog of people just waiting to find their true love.
No longer do we have to awkwardly sit at singles mixers or get set up on blind dates by people who have “our best interests at heart.” We can sift through hundreds of other singles and connect with someone from the comfort of our own homes. It really sounds wonderful, right? Dating sites aren’t always clear-cut, though. Because sadly, there is this thing out there we have come to call “catfishing” and well, it sucks.
Catfishing is when a person pretends to be someone they aren’t online for whatever benefit they may seek. Sometimes catfishers are after money; other times, they are lonely and insecure with who they are in real life. But no matter the reason, catfishing is always deceptive and seriously not cool.
When a person chooses to engage in online dating, they know they are taking a risk by putting their trust in a complete stranger. Usually, we just have to hope that when it comes time to meet in person, the person behind the keyboard is exactly who they said they were. When it comes to online dating, here are some great tips on how to tell if he is catfishing or the real deal.
20 He's Catfishing: If There Is Only One Picture On His Profile
When we put together our online dating profiles, we really want to put our best self forward. We want to show all the great things we have to offer someone. Usually, honest people put up more than one photo of themselves. If the guy only has a single image of himself on his profile, something smells fishy.
We understand he might have an actual reason for why he only has one photo, but typically, people today have camera phones and are constantly taking selfies. Unless he has something to hide, there really isn’t a solid reason for not having more than one photo.
19 He's The Real Deal: If His Profile Is Completely Filled Out
Filling out your online dating profile takes time and commitment. People who are truly looking to find someone are going to make an effort by sharing themselves with the people who come across their page. If you’ve ever had an online dating profile, you know that some of the information they ask you to fill out seems so pointless. So, if the guy has everything completed on his profile, he’s likely to be the real deal.
A lot of guys don’t bother paying attention to the finer details, so if he has taken care of everything, not only is he a real guy but he seems like a great catch, too.
18 He's Catfishing: If His Picture Seems Too Good To Be True
You know that feeling when something just seems too good to be true? Yeah, that probably means it is. This guy you’ve met on some form of online dating is like the cutest guy you’ve ever seen. His pictures look like they are straight out of a magazine. He might even resemble Zac Efron a little.
Think about all of this… If a guy’s picture seems too good to be true and if it seems like there is any chance it could be from some professional model’s shoot, he is likely catfishing you. Try doing a reverse image search to see where else this handsome man’s image might pop up.
17 He's The Real Deal: If He Is Specific About What He's Looking For
A guy who is looking for love is determined and knows exactly what he wants. If he is specific about what he is interested in and looking for, he is more than likely the real deal. Someone who is catfishing isn’t going to be particular; they’ll probably take whatever they can hook.
On a guy’s dating profile, he can be vague, or he can be detailed. The more details he provides about what he’s looking for from the site, the more likely it is that he is a total real dude just looking for someone to spend his time with.
16 He's Catfishing: If His Life Seems Beyond Belief
Some people do have totally awesome lives that seem straight out of some fantastical movie. Most people in the real world, though, do not. If some guy is bragging about all of his over-the-top accomplishments all over his profile, he’s most likely just trying to put on some grand façade. He thinks if he sounds so wonderful, no one will question whether he’s telling the truth or not.
People who really do have those great lives probably don’t want to spread it around on dating websites. That is how you will find someone who is more after your money than they are your personality.
15 He's The Real Deal: If He Occasionally Updates His Pictures With New Ones
Real people have real pictures. An easy way to see if this guy is the real deal on his dating profile is to check if he ever updates his photos. Catfishers usually go out and find a few pictures from some random person and that’s that. They aren’t usually able to update these photos with new ones once they create the profile.
A guy is the real deal if he shares new pictures with different clothing or hair choices. Maybe he just got a new haircut … new picture. Growing out his facial hair? New picture. Noticing a guy is updating photos should lead you to believe he is a real person.
14 He's Catfishing: If He Is Asking For Money
No one should ever ask you for money on a dating website. When someone asks you for any type of money for any type of reason, red flags should immediately go up. You’re on a dating site looking for someone to fall in love with or hang out with; it’s not a fundraising site.
One of the main reasons people catfish others is to get the person to send them money. He’ll bond with the person and gain their trust enough to ask for $2,000 for his grandma’s brother’s cousin’s life-saving surgery. Yeah, it’s a lie. Look out for people asking for money from you on the internet. Unless you know this person in real life, it is almost always a scam.
13 He's The Real Deal: If He Has Friends And Family In Pictures
This one should be a big indication that the guy is the real deal. When people post images of themselves with other people, it shows that they have a real life they are living outside of the dating site. It’s an even better sign if you start to notice the same people pop up time and time again in his photos.
Sharing images in which you are interacting with other people shows that you are a friendly person. The guy who posts these types of pictures probably has this in mind and wants to show potential dates that he isn’t trying to catfish them.
12 He's Catfishing: If His Profile Is Cheesy
Pickup lines and clichés are super-cheesy and don’t show anything of real value. If a guy’s profile is full of OTT and corny material, he’s most likely not being honest about who he really is. He wants to reel people in with his sweet words, because maybe his real self isn’t able to do the job.
A cheesy dating profile shouldn’t be trusted right off the bat. He could be smooth in real life, or he could be some 60-year-old creeper trying to catch the attention of a younger woman. Yes, we know you may look like an angel, but that doesn’t mean you need to be asked if you fell from heaven.
11 He's The Real Deal: If He Mentions His Flaws
When we open ourselves up to finding someone on a dating website, we are taking a lot of risks. A guy who openly mentions some of his flaws is someone not looking to deceive the people he connects with on the site. By mentioning his flaws, he is showing that he is a human being.
Mentioning flaws is almost the biggest risk someone can take on their dating profile. It could scare people away. This is not something a catfisher would do; this is something a guy would only do if he is the real deal looking to find a real connection.
10 He's Catfishing: If There Aren’t Any Photos On His Profile
People go on online dating sites to get away from blind dates. A person with a dating profile but no picture is a person with something to hide. You can usually guarantee that a profile which doesn’t have a face to go along with it probably belongs to a catfisher.
If there aren’t any pictures of a person on the profile, he is catfishing you. He could be afraid of what he looks like in real life or be someone different from the persona he’s presenting. Either way, he’s not being honest. The best thing to do is move on from this guy!
9 He's The Real Deal: If He Is Open To Speaking On The Phone Or Skype
This is like the ultimate test to determine if someone is the real deal before you decide to meet up with them in person. It’d be awesome if a guy states he is open to phone calls and facetiming right on his profile. You would easily be able to push him into the real people category.
If he doesn’t have this info in his profile, just ask him. Any hesitancy should throw up some red flags. If he is totally open and willing to talk to you over the phone before you guys take things further, he’s most likely exactly who you thought he was.
8 He's Catfishing: If He Has No Friends Or Followers On His Profile
Dating profiles don’t really show friends or followers, but you can look him up with his information or picture on other social media platforms. If you are lucky and do find him somewhere else, take note of his interactions on the profile. Does he interact with other people? Do other people interact with him? Does he have people who have friended him or follow him?
If he has nothing of the sort, he’s probably catfishing you. Social media sites and profiles are used as means of keeping in contact with people in your life. A person who doesn’t exist in the real world won’t have any of that.
7 He's The Real Deal: If He Isn't Shirtless In His Photos
This one could be tricky. A good-looking guy who takes care of his body is almost always likely to have at least one shirtless photo in his pics. He wants to show off his hard work, right?
We’ll let him have one shirtless photo. However, if all his photos are shirtless, nope, stop right there! A guy who isn’t seeking the opportunity to display his shirtless body every chance he gets is probably a real guy. He is the real deal on the dating site, using it for honest purposes, not for some ego boost or ulterior motive.
6 He's Catfishing: If He Goes Into Great Detail About Some Traumatic Life Event
When a person goes through something traumatic in their life, they don’t typically share the details with every random stranger they meet. If this guy starts sharing every sad story on his profile, he could be catfishing.
A catfisher who shares sad and heartbreaking stories is looking to gain someone’s trust. You see a broken man needing someone to care for him. We see a questionable person using every known method to get a trusted place in a stranger’s life. Be careful with a guy who lets you into his darkest times before you’ve even met in real life.
5 He's The Real Deal: If He Isn't Online All The Time
Most dating sites have a way of letting you know who is currently online and active. A guy is the real deal when he isn’t online all the time. This might sound confusing, but this means he has a life outside of the internet, and this is what you want.
When he isn’t always online, it should show you that he is a person who lives a real life. A catfisher’s life usually revolves around their catfishing schemes. If he is always online, there’s a chance he could still be a real dude, but that could mean he’s playing that online dating game hard, and that’s a discussion to be had another time.
4 He's Catfishing: If He Gets Too Serious Too Soon
A person who is catfishing will work fast to build a connection with someone who shows interest. They want to get whatever it is out of you before you realize they aren’t who they say they are.
If he starts pushing you to talk about things you aren’t ready to or starts sharing how much he cares for you or that he is falling in love with you before you’ve even met, something isn’t right. If he is moving too fast and getting too serious too soon, he’s probably catfishing you and trying to keep your attention before you learn the truth.
3 He's The Real Deal: If He Is Willing To Share His Last Name With People He Connects With
Most people only share their first name on dating profiles, so when you get that last name, it’s on. With a first and a last name, you are able to search for them on social media. You can look them up to find their background. Really, once you have the whole name, you can find anything you want on the internet.
If he has no problem providing you with a last name (and it’s his real name), he’s the real deal. He knows you are going to do an intense Google search on him and he doesn’t care, because he has been honest and isn’t hiding anything.
2 He's Catfishing: If He Says Exactly What Someone Wants To Hear
He is catfishing you if he always says exactly what you want to hear. This falls under that "too good to be true" category. No one is perfect all the time, and no one says the right things every time they open their mouth. A person who is catfishing will try to do this, though, because they don’t want to give you any reason to question them or run from them.
A human being who is being their true self will make mistakes. A person who is putting on a show, like a catfisher, will try their hardest to say everything you want to hear and come off as the perfect person to build a relationship with.
1 He's The Real Deal: If He Shows An Interest In Others' Interests
A person who catfishes is typically a selfish person who looks out for number one. If the guy shows an interest in your interests, he’s got to be the real deal. It takes effort to become an active participant in a blooming online relationship. This involves talking and listening.
He is taking the time to get to know you better, instead of trying to teach you about all the ways he’s great or all the reasons why you should carry on a relationship with him. A guy who shows an interest in what you like is trying to figure you out. He’s probably trying to see if you’re the real deal, too.
References: Reader’s Digest, DatingAdvice.com, Hello Giggles, Catch the Catfish