The upside to being rejected is that we know for sure that he’s not interested. There’s no space to be confused about what his true feelings are because it’s all out there in the open. That’s the good thing about the cold shoulder. At least we know. Yay!
What’s really tricky is trying to tell apart the guys who are romantically interested from the guys who are just being friendly. They’re both nice and polite. They reciprocate conversation. They may even both text us first or initiate catch-ups. This is where the lines are blurred, and it’s easy to get totally confused. So what do we do?
There are a few ways to differentiate the kind of guy who’s into us and the kind of guy who’s just being nice and just wants to be our friend. Sometimes the rules aren’t clean-cut, but there are a number of signs to look out for that point to either a guy who’s getting ready to make his move or a guy who sees us as one of his friends. Knowing the difference can save us a lot of stress!
Check out these 10 signs that he’s just being friendly plus 10 signs that he’s truly interested.
When a guy is interested, he’ll pay attention to you. But this can be tricky because he’ll also pay attention if he just likes you as a friend. The key is being able to tell the difference. When he is genuinely interested, the level of attention will begin to increase as he gets to know you better and grows more attracted to you.
He will also pay more attention to you than he does to his other friends. You might have to take notice of how he treats the other people in his life, or during social interactions. The attention he pays to someone he likes will be a little more intense.
Of course, you’re always going to have exceptions to the rule. But generally speaking, a guy cares less about how he looks in front of someone who’s just his friend as opposed to someone he is actually romantically interested in.
This can be hard to pick because some people care about how they look in front of everyone and others don’t care how they look in front of anyone at all. It doesn’t apply to all people, but as a rule of thumb, look at the way he presents himself in front of you. The more effort he puts in, the higher the chance he likes you.
A sneaky trick that a lot of guys will use when they’re interested in someone is casually slipping into the conversation how great a boyfriend they would make. This includes mentioning things like how well he treats his partners, how he’s a respectful and caring person, how he’s ready to settle down, and how he’s very loyal and committed.
He might even take it to the next level and mention how different he is from other guys. If it seems like he’s trying to sell what a great boyfriend he’ll make, that’s probably because he wants you to buy.
A guy who’s just your friend, or just being friendly, might still want to hang out with you. The difference will be he won’t call it dating. He’ll ask you to catch up with him for a coffee rather than directly asking if you’d like to go out with him.
If anyone around you assumes that you’re on a date with him, he’ll quickly set them straight and insist that you’re just hanging out. This might also be the behavior of a guy who’s a bit shy or unsure but is still interested in you. Generally, though, this is a sign that he sees you as more of a friend than a potential girlfriend.
When we like someone, we do what we can to impress them. It’s very normal, and as we grow older, we realize that we don’t have to change who we are to gain a love interest’s approval, but we still might hope they approve of us.
That’s why changing his behavior in front of you, and you only, is a sign that he really cares what you think, wants you to like him, and is maybe even a little nervous around you. Typically, he might say things that he thinks make him seem cooler or be reluctant to show you a more vulnerable side to him.
A guy who is just your friend or is just being friendly will probably want to catch up with you, but not only will he not call it dating, he also will only do it when it’s convenient with him. In no way will he seem desperate to see you or like it’s really important to him. This is different from a guy who is interested in more than friendship and will probably go out of his way to see you.
When you’re just friends, you see each other when you can and it’s not really a big deal because you’re not that emotionally invested in it. On the other hand, when you like someone, catching up with them suddenly becomes a much bigger deal.
Just so we’re clear: having a crush on someone does not give anybody the right to cross personal boundaries. That being said, guys who are interested in you are generally touchier than guys who aren’t.
You might notice that they stand closer to you than your other friends, or they graze your hands as they talk to you, or they’re always looking for an excuse to hug you. Look for the small signs like that. A guy who is interested will always try to be physically close, even when it’s not necessary. A guy who’s not interested won’t feel the need to be so close.
Once upon a time, the fact that a guy was texting you was usually an indicator that he was interested in you as more than a friend. Now, though, texting has become the normal way we communicate with everyone, from lovers to friends to our bosses, so you can’t assume he likes you just because he’s texting you.
Pay closer attention to the texts to get an idea of where his heart is. If he’s always texting you but the texts never lead to a conversation that’s more serious, it could be a sign that he just sees you as a friend.
It’s normal human behavior to make someone a priority when we’re interested in them in a romantic way. It might not be that normal to forget about everything else in our lives and make that person the center of our universe, but at some level, they will be a priority.
So if you’re one of his highest priorities, it’s a sign that he actually likes you and he isn’t just being friendly. How can you tell if you’re one of his priorities? He’ll make time for you, he will go out of his way to talk to you and see you, and if there’s a problem between you, he’ll do what he can to fix it.
Friendship is a strong foundation for a successful relationship, and it’s always a good idea to be friends with your partner, in addition to lovers. But it doesn’t stop there—if you’re going to be together, eventually you have to see each other as more than just friends.
It’s not a promising sign if he’s treating you just like he treats the rest of his friends. This signifies that he probably sees you just as he sees them, without any romantic interest. If he feels differently about you, you’ll see that he treats you a little differently too.
Is he always looking for an opportunity to be alone with you? If he is, it could be a sign that his interest goes beyond friendship. We don’t necessarily want one-on-one time with all our friends, but it is normal to crave that with someone you’re romantically interested in.
If a group of you are going to a party together, he might offer to drive you. Or he might want to seek your advice about something important and insist that nobody else can be there. These are subtle ways to get you on your own so he can spend some personal time with you.
The bottom line is that if he’s not romantically into you, he’s going to be less emotionally invested in you. His heart won’t be on the line, and he won’t be as vulnerable. If you reject him in any way, it won’t matter to him like it would if he liked you.
A good example is if you cancel your date with him at the last minute. While a guy should be understanding if you have a good excuse, he will naturally be disappointed if he is interested. But if you’re just another one of his friends, he probably won’t think twice about it.
Eye contact always reveals a lot. As a rule of thumb, someone who is interested in you will stare at you more than someone who’s not interested. Even if he’s the king of all that is cool and subtle, you’ll probably still catch him staring at you at least once. And when you do catch him, he’ll quickly look away as if he was never looking at you.
Imagine a grazing table. The food you want to eat the most is going to catch your eye, and you’re probably going to stare at it more than you stare at the food you don’t want. The same applies here.
Not only will a guy who’s just being friendly never call catching up with you a date, but he’ll also organize meetups that don’t resemble traditional dates at all. He won’t want to meet you over a candlelit dinner or come to your front door and pick you up and then take you to the movies.
When you guys do catch up, it won’t feel romantic, and you’ll do things that you could do with any of your other friends. There will be a much more relaxed vibe and you most likely won’t get the sense that he’s nervous.
There are a couple of ways to interpret a guy who refuses to tell you anything about his love life. The most likely one is that he’s actually interested in you. When this is the case, he declines to give you the details because you’re the one he’s interested in and there are no recent details that don’t involve you.
Or maybe he doesn’t want you to picture him dating anybody else because he’s getting ready to make a move on you. Of course, he could just be a very private person, but there is a chance that he’s keeping it on the down-low because he likes you.
On the other hand, if he has no problem talking to you about how much fun he’s having a single guy, he’s probably not interested. A guy who likes you will sell how much of a fantastic boyfriend he’d make and will take any opportunity to hint that he’s ready to be in a relationship.
So if he’s talking about how much fun he’s having going out every night and dating around or enjoying time alone, the most likely case is that he’s just talking about his life with a friend. He could be trying to brag to impress you, but chances are he’s genuinely enjoying being single.
We tend to pay more attention to those we’re interested in. A guy that likes you will listen to what you say and take note of things that most other people won’t. He’ll remember the small details from your conversations that will fly over other people’s heads.
A guy who isn’t interested, on the other hand, will probably just see you as another friend and therefore won’t take special notice of anything you say or do. After you’ve known him for some time, you’ll begin to get a sense of whether he’s paying special attention to you or not.
Here’s an easy way to tell whether he’s just being your friend or whether he’s thinking about making a move. Does he call you his “friend” a lot? If he does, then he probably sees himself as your friend. Someone who’s friends with you but wishes they were more won’t be too keen to keep referring to themselves as your friend.
You can also get an idea based on how he reacts when other people assume you’re just friends or assume you’re dating. If he’s offended by one of the assumptions, you’ll know that’s not how he feels inside.
Butterflies in the tummy are a big part of love. Especially in those early days when it’s all up in the air and you don’t know if the other person likes you back, of course, it’s normal to be nervous around your love interest.
So if he always seems to be nervous around you, it could be because he likes you. It’s usually easy to pick someone who’s nervous, even if they try to hide it. He might talk a lot, or not say very much at all, or even be sweating. Generally, nervous people are more tense, highly strung, and jittery than those who are calm.
Contrary to what idealistic Hollywood movies would have us believe, a guy who’s interested in you won’t try to set you up with his friends. If he’s always talking about how he wants to put you together with this person or that person, the day will probably never come when he admits that he had feelings for you all along like it does in the movies.
Guys who like you won’t want to jeopardize their own chances by setting you up with their friends, so if he’s doing this, it’s probably safe to assume that he is just being nice and doing what any old friend would do.