There’s always been a lot of debate about whether guys and girls can just be friends. Assuming they can, it’s still not uncommon for one person in the friendship to start having stronger feelings and develop a crush on the other. So the real question is: how does a girl know when the guy she's friends with wants to be more?
There are a number of signs he might display, either knowingly or unknowingly, which can help her figure it out. In general, guys who are cool just being friends won’t treat their girl friend as anything more than a buddy—they won’t get jealous when she sees other people, and might even encourage her to date their friends. There won’t be any flirting, and any assumptions that the two of them are a couple will be met with awkward, uncomfortable responses.
By the same token, a friend who wants to be more will treat their "pal" as more. She'll be one of their highest priorities, and they’ll find excuses to talk to her, be alone with her, and find out as much about her as they can. Plus, she'll catch them staring a little too often.
Check out these 10 signs that he likes a girl as just a friend, and 10 signs he wants to be more.
10 Signs He Only Likes Her As A Friend
20 Just Friends: He Never Gets Jealous
Jealousy isn’t always a good thing, but in small amounts, it might show that one person actually cares enough about the other to want them all to themselves.
If a guy never gets jealous when you’re flirting with other guys, or when other guys show interest in you, it could mean that he sees you only as a friend and doesn’t care what you do with your love life.
On the other hand, if he were really interested in you, then watching other guys flirt with you or hearing you talk about other guys would have some kind of effect on him.
19 He Tries To Set Them Up With His Friends
If you’re romantically interested in your friend, it’s not a great sign if he’s always offering to be your matchmaker. Relationships might start out like this in movies, but in real life, it’s unlikely that a guy would try to set up someone he likes with someone else. He might purposely set you up with bad dates to try and get you to come running to him, but we doubt anyone is really that manipulative! All hope isn’t lost, though—when he’s always trying to match you up with his friends, it could be a sign that one of them likes you.
18 There’s Absolutely No Flirting
When two people who spend a lot of time together are truly into each other, it’s nearly impossible for them not to flirt, at least a little bit. Sure, some people aren’t the flirting type, and others feel too shy or awkward to go down that road with someone who’s supposed to be a friend.
But sooner or later, there’s going to be some kind of flirting, even if it’s very subtle.
If he never flirts with you in any way, it could mean that he’s just not interested in you like that. That’s also the case if he rejects your attempts to flirt or they make him visibly uncomfortable.
17 He Talks About People He Is Romantically Interested In
In most cases, a guy wouldn’t gush about other people he’s romantically interested in front of you if he really likes you. That would be sending out the signal that he’s not available to you. Now, he may discuss his past lovers to make you jealous or talk about people who are into him to try and impress you, and that’s a different kettle of fish. It can be hard to tell the difference! If he seems overly interested in your response, he might be trying to make you jealous. If he’s looking for love advice, he’s probably genuinely interested in someone else.
16 He’s Been In Her Life Forever And Never Made A Move
They say that if a man truly wants someone, he will find a way to make a move. Even if he’s shy and anxious, he’ll eventually show some signs that he’s interested. So if you’ve been friends with him forever and he’s never made a move, it suggests that he’s probably not interested. We know—there are exceptions to this rule. Think Monica and Chandler!
Feelings can definitely change over time, and it’s possible he only just started liking you and that’s why he hasn’t made a move.
But it’s always better to follow the rule than the exception. If he hasn’t shown interest, don’t sit around waiting for it.
15 He’s Not Overly Interested In Their Life
One of the clearest ways to tell whether someone likes you is to observe how much attention they pay to you and how interested they are in your life. When they do like you, they tend to notice all the small details and always want to know what’s happening in your world—the same way you would with someone you liked. If he couldn’t care less about your life, you could assume that he doesn’t like you like that. And to be perfectly honest, if he couldn’t care less about your life at all, he’s probably not a great friend either!
14 He Rarely Texts Her
When someone is interested in you, they tend to find excuses to text you all the time. They might start off asking silly questions that they already knew the answer to, but then they’ll direct the conversation elsewhere, just because they want the chance to talk to you.
Receiving texts from him just to ask how your day is going is a good sign.
And it’s a sign that he’s really not interested if he hardly ever texts you. Or if he’s not a texter, the same applies if he never calls or tries to communicate with you in any other way.
13 He Feels Awkward When People Assume They’re A Couple
When a guy and a girl are just friends, it’s not uncommon for people to assume that they’re more. His response to these assumptions can reveal a lot about how he’s really feeling. If he’s not interested in you, that kind of comment will probably make him feel awkward and uncomfortable. He’ll just brush it off or change the subject. But if he does actually like you, this kind of assumption will make him happy, even if it makes him nervous. He might smile, gauge your reaction, or even use it as an excuse to find out what you think about it.
12 He Hardly Ever Makes Plans For Them
Even if a guy is nervous about seeing you, he’ll want to make it happen if he is really romantically interested in you. You’ll notice that he always suggests catching up, whether you’re alone or with a group.
But the bottom line is he’ll want to see you under any circumstances.
It’s a sign that he just wants to be friends if he never makes plans to catch up. The same applies if he can never make it when you try to catch up with him, or he always finds excuses for not wanting to be alone with you.
11 He’s Alluded To The Relationship Being Platonic
If he’s told you straight up that he only likes you as a friend, you should probably assume that he does. That’s confirmation straight from the horse’s mouth. Or if he’s hinted that he’s not romantically into you, it’s safe to say that he’s not. This could include him making jokes about how you’re just friends and how annoying it is when people assume otherwise—remember that there tends to be a lot of truth hidden behind humor. He wouldn’t make the effort to hint about you guys being just friends if that’s not how he felt inside.
10 Signs He Actually Wants More
10 He Finds Excuses To Touch Them
Finding excuses to be physically close to someone else or touching them is one of the clearest signs that you like them. If he likes you as more than a friend, you might notice that he’s always brushing up against your shoulders, standing really close to you or playfully holding your hand.
In many cases, he might not even realize he’s doing any of this—it’s just the subconscious behavior of someone who has romantic feelings for someone else.
Contrastingly, when a guy only likes you as a friend, he’s not likely to be interested in any physical affection.
9 He Puts Their Feelings Above Anyone Else’s
Another sign that a guy likes you as more than a friend is when he clearly cares about you so much that he puts your feelings above everybody else’s. In other words, your one of his highest priorities, and you know it. It’s normal for platonic friends to care about each other too, but probably not to the same extent. You should notice if he’s treating you better than all of his other friends and makes your happiness one of his priorities. That level of commitment could show that his feelings are strong and also that they’re more than just platonic.
8 He Wants To Be Alone With Them
Wanting to be alone with you could be another sign that he’s romantically interested in you. It’s normal for just friends to be alone together too, but when he’s always trying to get you on your own, it could be because he has stronger feelings.
Plus, wanting to get you on your own could be about more than just wanting to bond with you.
He may want the chance to talk to you about his feelings or to find out how you feel about him. Or he may just want to see what kind of chemistry you have together when nobody else is around.
7 He’s Always Trying To Impress Them
This one shouldn’t be surprising! When a person is interested in someone, they will usually try to impress them. Some people are brasher in this than others, but it’s normal to want to win the approval of the person you’re romantically interested in. Friends try to impress each other too, but not nearly as much. A guy who likes you might mention things in front of you that make him look better, even if you see through it. So if he’s always trying to impress you, it could be a sign that he is looking for more than friendship.
6 They Constantly Catch Him Staring
Staring at someone is another obvious sign of attraction. It doesn’t just apply to men either, by the way.
All humans tend to spend a lot of time looking at someone, or something, that they want.
The chances are he is attracted to you as more than a friend if you notice that he’s always looking at you, or when you have conversations he likes to make and maintain eye contact. It’s safe to assume that if you always catch him staring, he likes what he sees. It may not mean that he’s in love with you—just that he’s attracted.
5 He Doesn’t Talk About His Love Life
We already covered that if a guy is always asking you for advice about his love life and talking about the people he’s romantically interested in, the chances are he doesn’t like you as more than a friend. So it may be a promising sign if he doesn’t like talking about his love life in front of you that he does have a little crush. Of course, it could also come down to him being a private person and not wanting to share that part of his life with anyone. But if he talks about it with other friends and not with you, it could mean that he low-key likes you.
4 He Notices The Small Details Nobody Else Does
It’s well-known that all humans spend a lot of time looking at the things and people that they want, and they also spend a lot of time focusing on them.
When we’re with people we’re romantically interested in, we tend to pay more attention to the things they say than we would with other people we don’t like.
If he always notices small details and remembers the things you say, it could be because he likes you as more than a friend. A guy who likes you as more than a friend will remember things months after you’ve said them and pick up on things that nobody else does.
3 He’s Visibly Nervous In Front Of Them
Sadly, getting nervous is a big part of falling in love for a lot of people. There could be many reasons why a guy is feeling anxious, but if it seems to only be when he’s around you, it could be because he likes you as more than a friend. He might be an anxious person in general, or he might be going through something else in his life that is stressing him out, so this clue can’t give you any definite answers. It’s just something to look out for because it’s common for people to act nervous around the people they like.
2 He’s Always Communicating With Them In Some Way
When we like people, we tend to try and find ways of communicating with them all the time. In our day and age, that means sending them texts, commenting on their posts on social media, sending them Snapchats and tagging them in memes on social media.
It doesn’t matter how we communicate—we just try to get as much interaction in as possible.
So it’s a good sign if he’s always finding excuses to talk to you more than he does with his other friends. That constant want to be communicating with you could mean he has feelings for you!
1 He Doesn’t Send Mixed Signals, And Hints That He’s Interested
The movie He’s Just Not That Into You made a very good point about interpreting mixed signals. If a guy is sending mixed signals about whether he likes you or not, the chances are he doesn’t. Those kinds of mind games are much more typical of someone who doesn’t have real feelings, or doesn’t know what his feelings are, rather than of someone who genuinely likes you. And if he’s hinting that he’s interested, he probably is. Unless he’s a particularly rude person, he wouldn’t want to give you the impression that he likes you if he doesn’t.
Sources: Bolde, Thought Catalog