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How To Tell Your Ex Has Moved On (Before You)

in Dating
How To Tell Your Ex Has Moved On (Before You)

Facts are facts: no one likes to be dumped, period. When we spend our time nurturing a relationship and being in love with someone, when it comes to an end, you have to do whatever you can to keep your emotions in check and not go completely out of your mind. Sure, if you’ve been through a break up that was completely mutual, you come out a better person for it. But let’s face it, those are utterly rare these days. And it makes it a billion times worse when while you’re still trying to lick your wounds, your ex has gotten over you and has moved on with someone else. I mean, you know it was bound to happen, but you didn’t assume that it would happen so fast or that it would hurt so much. Here are 15 signs that your ex has officially moved on from you whether you want to believe it or not.

15. They’ve Deleted You From Social Media

bye

Oh, this one hurts, I don’t care who you are. After you go through a brutal break-up, you really don’t want to see your ex on social media letting the world know how happy he now is without you. Even if he’s not a jerk and needs time to grieve before he starts posting updates of his life on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, you still don’t want to run across a post of his on any platform. So what do you do? If you’ve still promised to be friends (don’t we all?) you may just take a break from social media in order to heal. But what happens when you return only to find out that they’ve unfriended/unfollowed YOU first? This usually means that they too need to grieve, but have pulled the cord on you first in an attempt to move completely on. My suggestion is you do the same exact thing (unfollow them) because it will be easier on you in the future.

14. Rudeness/Indifference

rude

rude

Whenever you break up with someone, the line “can we still be friends?” will obviously pop up somewhere during the confrontation (as I said before). At least it will if the person you were in a relationship with has a freaking heart. Sometimes it works out for the best and the two of you actually remain friends, but in reality, it doesn’t really happen that way and you happen to come across them while out and about and they’re unusually cold to you, or worse, indifferent. You may think you have a shot back with them if they’re showing some sort of emotion toward you (anger, rudeness, all that jazz) but if they’re just plain indifferent, chances are they’ve moved on and just don’t think about you anymore, which explains why there’s no reaction from them.

13. They’re Wayyyyy Too Polite

polite

Okay, so rudeness you can handle. Indifference you can handle. But what if your ex happens to be overly-polite and treats you like you’re a customer at a bank rather than someone they spent three years living under the same roof as? If your ex is treating you way too politely and acting like they’re trying to defuse a bomb when they speak with you, chances are they’ve moved on and now see you (and treat you) as if you were a mere acquaintance. They’ll be polite and make small talk, but the look in their eyes reveal a different story, especially if they’re politely attempting to rush through that small talk in order to get away from you. It’s best that you just mirror them, act polite yourself, and leave the conversation with your dignity.

12. “Just Friends”

Just Friends

These days, it’s common to hear griping from men about how they hate the dreaded “friend zone” while women express that they couldn’t care less about being placed in that zone. However, no matter what gender you are, when you hear the words “let’s just be friends” stings. Especially if the two of you were in a serious relationship. If the break up happened to be messy and the recovery process was long, if your ex happens to pop up back in your life and drops this particular line, chances are they’ve moved on. The line means that they’re able to see you only as a friend without the possibility of any lingering feelings coming back because they’re too busy showering whoever they’re with now with those feelings – and that can hurt a ton. Just refrain yourself from causing them bodily injury or flipping them the bird – it’ll just make it worse.

11. They Keep Telling You to Move On

Move On

After a particularly difficult break-up, it’s harder than heck to move on. Try as you might, you’re still left with the stinging pain that the death of the relationship left in its wake so it’s fairly difficult for you to move on. But imagine still wrestling with those emotions AND being actually told by your ex that it’s “time to move on”. And here you thought you couldn’t sink any lower. If they’ve moved on before you, that’ll let you know it and express concern that you should as well. While it hurts to hear, especially if you’re still in love with your ex, it may be the kick in the rear you need to actually move on and step away from the past. They’ve obviously have, so it’s time for you too as well.

10. It’s Been Years Now

years

I use a personal story for this one: the first serious relationship that I was in happened several years ago. He was the first guy I ever fell in love with (and yes, actually said the sentiment out loud to him – something I had never done in the past) so when we eventually parted ways, I was damaged. It literally took me years to get over him officially (probably wasn’t the best thing that we remained close friends) because I was scared to move on and have the same thing happen with someone else. However, you can’t really get over it unless you make the moves to do so, and in order to do that, you need to stop comparing your dating habits with theirs. Chances are if it’s been years, your ex has officially moved on (probably a couple times over), so quit slacking and do the same.

9. He Goes Out Of His Way Not To Run Into You

avoiding

Distance speaks volumes, more so than words – at least during and after a break-up. Say you two happened to live together, well, if you go through a troubling break up, chances are they will try to get as far away from you as possible. You may see this as them not wanting to have old feelings surface by running into you, but it’s not. It just means that they’ve moved on or in the process of moving on and want to keep their distance from you because it would be awkward. That’s all they’re trying to avoid: the awkwardness. You need to let them maintain their distance and respect it since you need to move on as well. And no, I don’t want to hear that “distance makes the heart grow fonder” nonsense. In this case, distance helps the heart repair itself.

8. All Your Stuff? Yeah, You Have It Back

stuff

Sometimes, if an ex hasn’t moved on from you and is keeping a firm grasp on the past, they’ll hold on to the few trinkets you left at their place. If they refuse to give it up, they’re still clinging to some hope that you two will get back together in the future (or they just really, really want to keep that copy of Song of Fire and Ice you left there and/or your HBOGo password). However, if they’re quick to unload all your stuff and give it back themselves, or send someone else to do their bidding, they want no trace that you ever were at their place in the first place. This is one of the final steps in moving on, to expunge all the physical evidence that you were in their life in order to make space for someone else.

7. Bro Moved Away… FAR Away

Want a clear-cut sign that your ex has moved on? Well, you can have the literal sign that they have packed up their bags and moved clear across the country to get away from you. Sure, we women like to be all romantic and think that they did this because they loved us too much to be in the same town and/or state as us. But really, it’s to avoid hearing gossip about whether or not either of you is seeing someone new. Or, heck, it could be because they got a new position and jumped at the chance to start fresh. Either way, they’re creating that distance in order to start anew somewhere else WITH someone else. They really don’t want the off chance that they might run into you while they’re out on a date with their new partner. A ton of mileage between you diminishes that chance.

6. Uh… Dating Someone New

Joking

Want yet another clear-cut, flashing neon sign that your ex has officially moved on from you? They’re dating someone else. Okay, sure, Hollywood likes to glamorize the moving on thing by saying that the person your ex is seeing is just a rebound and we believe it. The fact of the matter is, they’re just not as shattered as your own heart, and have moved on from the thought of you and replaced you with someone else. Trust us, it’s not a façade or a way to get you back into their life – they’re out there just trying to live their life by dating someone else they’re attracted to. I know it hurts like heck to see and/or hear about from your friends, but it’s best that you get used to the idea that your ex is back on the market and shopping around.

5. “And You Are….?”

who

Sure, you thought it was a joke at first when you ran into your ex at a public venue and they pretended like they didn’t know you. But then it happened again. And again. You discover that it’s not a cruel joke, but rather a method they’re using to drive the point home that they’ve moved on. Sometimes, as hard as it is to be on the receiving end of a bad breakup, an ex will do whatever it takes to avoid seeing you in public, but if they do, they act like you don’t exist. This really isn’t a way for them to move on, but rather more so for you. If they’re pulling this act, they’ve already moved on and it isn’t a deliberate diss in order to hurt you, but it’s just easier for them to avoid confrontation by pretending you don’t exist.

4. They Literally Tell You To Shoo

Shoo

After a breakup, nothing can be more humiliating than actually being told by your ex that you need to “get over it” or “move on” or simply “you need to just leave me alone”. If you’re constantly hounding your ex in an attempt to win them back, it will only drive them (and any hopes of salvaging a friendship) far, far away. No one likes to go through the humiliation you feel when your ex literally tells you to back away after you two are already broken up, and they don’t seem to care that they’re using tough love on you. If they say their piece in a harsh way, they’ve already gotten over you and have moved on because they’re not dealing with you with kid gloves anymore. They don’t feel the need to be delicate with you – their minds won’t change.

3. They Don’t Consistently Tell You “I’m Happy”

If you’re fresh from a breakup, sometimes, your ex will go out of their way to tell you “how happy” they are in their new lives. This can either be a way to reel you back into their world or just some overcompensation so they don’t look like grieving individuals who are mourning a dead relationship. When you say “I’m happy, really I am”, you’re masking something. However, when that finally stops, you know as a fact that they’ve moved on. They don’t need to verbally confirm that “they’re happy” because they simply show it. They’re not trying to stage their Instagram posts to make it seem like they’ve moved on because they’re actually out living their lives with someone new and don’t feel the need to broadcast it because they’re not trying to make you jealous.

2. Don’t Start Conversation

nope

If you’ve broken up with your partner, naturally you’ll still feel the need to talk to them about certain things – like if something big happens to you, you want to tell them first because that’s how it was in the past. You may do this from time to time before you actually start noticing that A) you’re the only one attempting to start conversations with them and B) either they’re not responding at all or just giving one-word responses. Either way, they’re not attempting to have a conversation with you, but this isn’t to deliberately hurt you, they just have no interest in going back down that path again because they’ve moved on and have conversations like that with the new person in their lives. It’s hurtful, but it’s true.

1. Not Regretful, In The Least

No regrets

The psychology of regret about something from the past will completely and utterly affect our future in the long run – everyone knows this. Usually, if an ex wants you back, or vice-versa, they’ll express regret about the breakup and seek you out to show that regret. However, if they’re still in your life and they show absolutely no regret about the parting, then chances are they’ve moved on and it would be best if you do too. It can hurt when they don’t express sorrow or even reminisce about the broken relationship, but that’s just because they’re trying to build something new with someone else and don’t want to dwell on the past. It can be a harsh realization, but it’s one you need to actually move on yourself.

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