Men are both complex and simple creatures. When they’re sending us mixed messages and messing with our hearts, we can’t understand them at all. But when they’re sitting in front of the TV using their feet to reach the remote or a bag of chips, we think they couldn’t get more caveman like. So, which is it? Are they super complicated and layered? Or are they simple and easy to navigate? Turns out, it’s a bit of both. Sometimes they really baffle us and other times we couldn’t be farther from shocked. And the worst part? We don’t even know when they’re being complex or simple! Like when you ask your man to run back to the bedroom and grab your purple pumps and he comes back with bright pink flip flops. Or when you buy a new printer and before you even turn around he has it all setup and ready to go. Men are kind of unpredictable. They like to keep us on our toes. So we don’t always know what to expect or what response we’re going to get. But after some careful digging, we’ve figured out a few things about men. We’ve discovered eight things guys never notice that you do and eight things they actually do notice that you do. Check it out:
8 Things He Won’t Notice You Do:
16. Get Your Brows Done
Or your nails, your hair, etc. Basically, you could spend 12 hours at a salon and unless you chopped off a foot of hair or dyed your hair green, odds are your man will not notice. That’s not to say he doesn’t appreciate it! He loves that you look good and you’re spending time to beautify and pamper yourself. He just has no idea what your hair looks like minus one inch of split ends or whether or not your four stray eyebrow hairs got plucked. He doesn’t see the details like that. But he definitely loves the final product. Just don’t expect millions of compliments after your threading appointment or when you show up with a French manicure. Because the response you’ll probably get is, “What do you mean, babe? Don’t you always look like that?” Well, if your man wants to think you look perfect all the time, let’s let him keep thinking that.
15. Your Shoes
As a rule, guys just don’t notice or understand shoes. It’s not that shoes are inherently difficult to comprehend. It’s just that guys don’t care that much! They don’t care what brand or label your shoes are. They don’t care if you wear the four-inch heel or the three-inch heel. Hell, they don’t even care if you trade the heels in for flats! They can’t tell if a shoe is from last season or if it’s brand new. The only thing they do care about when it comes to your shoes is whether or not you can walk in them. Because no guy wants to listen to you complaining about your blisters and bloody toes all night. And he certainly doesn’t want to be giving you a piggyback ride from the club because your feet hurt too much to walk up the hill to your house. But if you insist on wearing uncomfortable shoes, just do your man a favor and keep the complaining to a minimum. Also, bring some extra money for an Uber so he doesn’t have to break his back carrying you home.
14. Your Order
Those old fashioned rules about paying close attention to your dinner order on a date are old fashioned for a reason. Your guy doesn’t care! In fact, he probably didn’t even notice what you ordered because he was too concerned about his own order. No decent man is gong to judge you based on what you order for dinner. That is unless you decide to order the entire menu or you make eight substitutions for your dish. But if you’re just ordering something ordinary, he will not notice. So please do not force yourself to order a salad and sparkling water if you’re really craving a burger, fries and a beer. He would much rather spend the evening with someone whose stomach isn’t growling from hunger all night. Be yourself and order what you want! Guys like a girl who is confident so boldly order your ribs, pizza or sizzling steak – you do you!
13. Lie About Your Age
A guy won’t notice if you’re lying about your age. If you think your relationship is being held together by the fact that he thinks you’re 26 when you’re actually 31, you’re wrong. He just doesn’t care! As long as you’re not underage, guys don’t really care how old you are. So there’s really no need to lie to them about your age. If you’re 31 but look like you’re in your mid-20s, good for you! Congrats on those great genes and rigid skin care routine. Your guy is lucky to be dating such a hot babe who looks as youthful as you do. But admitting that you’re actually 31 doesn’t take away from your great looks. You can still look 26! You just don’t have to tell people you’re 26. If you’re forging your birth certificate or arguing with the person at the DMV to change the date on your driver’s license, you’ve gone too far.
12. Text A Lot Or A Little
Guys won’t notice if you text a lot or if you don’t text much, within reason. So if you’re sending 32 messages to him during the hours of 12:00 am to 6:00 am, yeah he’s going to notice. Or if you don’t respond to a text until three days later, he’ll probably notice that too. But in less extreme cases, chances are he won’t pick up on it. So if you think you’re punishing him by not responding to his 9:00 am text until 2:00 pm, he won’t get it. He will just assume you answered when you were free. Or likely, he won’t give a second thought to the time of your response. So don’t worry about it. If you hit send but then realize you forgot to tell him something, you’re allowed to send a second text. He won’t think you’re a stage five clinger. And if you’re out with your girlfriends or busy at work, he won’t mind if you don’t respond for a few hours. Guys are just flexible and unobservant like that.
11. Your Dancing Skills
For the most part, guys don’t notice if you’re a good dancer or a bad dancer. Unless you’re up there busting out some break dancing or moves like you’re a pro from Dancing With The Stars, he probably can’t tell. Your average dance with a guy will either be a) at a club or b) at a wedding. If you’re at a club, odds are you’re both a little intoxicated and the dance floor is packed with people. No one is expecting J.Lo moves from you. As long as you’re moving to the music and having a good time, you’re doing great. And at a wedding, you’re supposed to be dancing like a fool anyway. So please don’t worry about your dance skills. Unless you or your man are trained dancers, he will not notice if you spend the whole time swaying back and forth and clutching onto your drink. As long as you’re dancing with him, he’ll consider himself pretty lucky. He’s not looking for any music video moves. Just have fun!
10. Change His Wardrobe
Guys don’t realize it, but women have a superpower. Actually, we have a ton of superpowers. We use them all the time. But one, in particular, is our power over their wardrobe. Guys have no idea about this! But it happens everytime. A girl will start dating a guy who loves to wear flip flops, shorts, and stained t-shirts he got for free from his college days. Give them a couple months and he’ll be rocking well fitting jeans, closed toe shoes, and shirts with nary a stain in sight. How does she do it? Well, there’s a few tricks. She may start by buying him a present – a shirt she knew would look great on him. And then it’s all about positive reinforcement. Everytime he wears the shirt she hits him with, “Oh my god, you look amazing! That fits you so well! I love that on you!” She compliments him fervently and even goes so far as to call it her favorite item in his closet. Next time he’s at the mall, he picks up a few shirts in the same style. And before you know it, she’s transformed his wardrobe and he doesn’t even know it!
We’re going to go ahead and blame all the moms for this one. It’s your fault for keeping such a neat home! It’s your fault that a guy doesn’t notice when something has been cleaned or not because he always assumes everything is just clean when a girl lives there. So your guy doesn’t notice if you did your laundry or spent an hour scrubbing your bathtub. He has no idea when the last time was you changed your sheets or if you even own a duster. Unless there are piles of dishes blocking his way to the fridge or something rotting in your garbage can, he just doesn’t have a clue. He takes for granted that women just have a magical touch. We’re not saying you should stop cleaning because your man doesn’t notice. It’s probably better for everyone if you do keep your place on the right side of hygienic. We’re just saying don’t be surprised if your guy is shocked to hear you spent your afternoon steam cleaning your carpets or polishing your antique jewelry box.
This might be the one thing that guys actually notice more than girls do. And it’s not because they’re more observant than us or better at picking up on fine details. It’s because to them it’s a new concept and to us, it’s everyday life. We’re talking about shedding. Because you, yes you, shed like a maniac. If you have hair longer than shoulder length, odds are millions of strands of that hair have ended up at your guy’s place. And the hairs will show up in the oddest spots – sometimes places you haven’t even been! You’re a tea drinker, and yet, your hair was found on the coffee machine. Or you haven’t visited in a few weeks, yet he finds a few strands of your hair on his couch. Or he just changed his sheets, for the first time in you don’t want to know when, and he still finds your hair on his freshly washed sheets straight from the dryer! How does it happen? The shedding issue baffles men everywhere. To be honest, it baffles us too. But we’ve gotten used to it over the years.
7. Steal His Clothing
You probably have a favorite sweater of your man’s that you always put on whenever you go over and you’re feeling cold. Or maybe you’ve adopted one of his old t-shirts as your new pajama top. You might even slip on a pair of his thick, wooly, man socks when your feet are feeling cold. Well, guess what? He notices. Because that sweater you always reach for? It’s his favorite too. And that old t-shirt you’ve taken back to your house? He used to wear that once a week. Guys usually don’t have a ton of clothing that they regular wear so when something goes missing, they know about it. Except for the socks. No guy ever knows where any of his socks are. But don’t worry! He may notice, but odds are he’s not upset about it. Because the only thing better than wearing his favorite sweater is seeing you wear it. He loves how you look in his clothes. Just take good care of them and maybe offer to give them back every now and then.
6. Snore And Other Sleeping Habits
Sorry to break it to you, but if you’re consistently sleeping in the same bed as a guy, he knows all about your sleeping habits. He knows if you snore. He notices when you talk in your sleep. He sees that little line of drool on your pillow. And he will insist that you are a blanket hog because he spends half the night freezing trying to get back under the covers. But it’s okay. As long as he’s still there in the morning, your sleeping habits haven’t scared him off. Just know that your secret is out. So if you’re a notoriously loud snorer, your guy has definitely noticed. Maybe help him out and look into getting those nose strips or at least some ear plugs for him. But hopefully, your sleep habits are compatible with his. For example, maybe your snoring doesn’t bother him because he’s the heaviest sleeper of all time. And maybe he’s fine if you steal the blankets because he usually sleeps without them anyway. Just find what works for you both!
5. Play Stupid
Truth time. Guys notice when you are playing stupid. And guess what? They do not like it. There is nothing attractive about a woman pretending to be less smart than she actual is. And if you happen to find the few foolish men who find this dumb act attractive, these are not the guys you want to be with. Your man should be encouraging you to use your brain and be your natural brilliant self. Please do not dumb yourself down in front of guys. It hurts everyone to watch you do that. And you are not fooling anyone. The guy knows you are just trying to get attention and he will likely want nothing to do with you. Guys want a woman who is smart, strong and beautiful. Do not be afraid to be all three! The right man will be into all of you, not just your body excluding your brain.
4. When You’re “Fine”
Guys may be thick, but they’re not that thick. If your man asks how you are and your answer is “fine” with a tight lip, he knows you are not fine. And if he asks you another question and you answer, “Oh.” he knows something is definitely wrong. When a woman is upset, everything changes. Her expression hardens, her face goes stern and her arms get crossed. She becomes very quiet as if she has sucked the air right out of the room. You may think you’re hiding your emotions well, but your man will know that something isn’t right. Don’t use this as an incentive to work on your fake happy face. Use it as a reason to talk to your guy and share how you’re feeling. If you’re too upset to talk, simply say that and ask if you guys can talk at a better time. Most guys are fixers and will want to cheer you up right away so don’t be surprised if your guy becomes super attentive and sweet as soon as he hears, “I’m fine.”
3. Change With Your Friends
Your guy knows you pretty well. He knows what you’re like when it’s just the two of you on the couch, when you’re running late for work in the morning and when your mom drops by for an unexpected visit. He notices the different versions you have of yourself: relaxed you, panicked you, professional you, etc. And he certainly notices the you that you are with your friends. Maybe you get much more excited and peppy. Do you start squealing and greeting each other with big hugs and tons of compliments? Or maybe you head to the bar for a round of shots. Or maybe you descend into hours of gossip and dramatic facial expressions. However you change, your guy notices that you’re not really yourself. He’s used to you making some minor adjustments depending on the setting. Just make sure you’re not changing too much. You shouldn’t be an entirely different person with your man than you are with your friends.
2. Wear Too Much Or Too Little
Guys are pretty obtuse when it comes to clothing and makeup. Most guys assume the natural makeup look, that requires dozens of products and tons of time in the bathroom, is actually just your natural face. And he won’t notice if you wear the same jeans three days in a row or try to put on a skirt in the middle of winter. But he will notice if it’s way too much or way too little. So if you usually go makeup free, your guy will certainly notice when you put on the lashes, big red lips, and sparkly eye shadow. Or if you’re more of a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl, he’ll notice when you switch those for something low cut and high rise. But as long as you’re making the change for you and not for him, it doesn’t really matter what he notices. Dress for yourself and wear the makeup you want to wear. Your guy will just have to get used to it.
1. How You Act With Kids
Now this is usually something girls notice about guys, but turns out, it goes both ways! Guys also notice how you act with kids, babies, and even furry pets. Now, they might not be watching you with the same wistful look you give your guy when he picks up his baby nephew, but they are watching. And somewhere in the back of their minds, they’re holding onto that info. So be yourself. If you truly love children and go visit your baby cousin, don’t be afraid to pick her up and carry her around. And if you don’t love children, don’t force yourself to spend a ton of time with a baby or feel like you have to volunteer to take a turn holding her. You don’t want to give your guy a false impression. The right guy won’t be scared of your reaction. And if you’re not sure how your guy will respond, maybe it’s time for you to talk about whether or not kids are in your future – whether the near future or distant future.