These days, what counts as cheating in a romantic relationship definitely is pretty subjective and changing all the time. We’re commonly taught to hide things from our partners because we don’t want to hurt them, and that’s true of us and the guys that we date, too. It seems more common with guys, though, and sometimes the guys that we call our boyfriends don’t want to tell us the truth about a situation. They say we’re “too emotional” (and we might be emotional if our BFs are thinking crap like that!). There are so many ways to hide things in this world, even by simply deleting a text so, poof, it’s gone forever. It’s always hard to know if something is happening or if we’re being paranoid, so just simply talk to him about whatever you’re having trouble with! Here are 19 ways to know if he’s hiding something. There are a whole bunch of ways to see specific signs that the man in your life is hiding a lot of things from you.
19. There’s No Communication
When the communication in your relationship stops, that’s one of the key red flags to keep in mind when you feel like something is a bit off. When the communication between two people starts to fall off and you no longer find joy in telling your partner what’s been happening in your life (and that goes for anything from school, work, and even your feelings), there’s a big issue at hand. While it might not mean he’s cheating, there are many other things that he could be hiding, such as a lack of love and motivation in the relationship. That alone is something that shouldn’t be hidden because of how unfair it is if he keeps that bottled up. It won’t be fair for either one of you. Simply try to talk to him about wanting to communicate a bit more and to work on it together. Sometimes it’s best to admit that you have to move on from the relationship, though, so you might have to realize that, no matter how hard it might be.
18. He Makes You Feel Guilty
When you two are constantly fighting because every time you have a question, it’s just too much for him and he freaks out on you, in turn making you feel awful for even asking in the first place. It’s a sign that shouldn’t be ignored… ever. It’s not fair to try to have a connection and conversation with the person you love just to have it be turned around on you when you ask a simple question. Even if it’s asking about something you’ve been feeling uneasy about such as late work nights, that should not spark a three-hour argument about why you asked him that simple question. It should spark a conversation that will, in the end, help you understand why he’s been working late recently. If he jumps to conclusions and tries to accuse you of, well, accusing him, that is a sure sign that something might be a bit off in the relationship on his end.
17. Tons Of Late Nights
A standard red flag when someone thinks their boyfriend is cheating on them or hiding something? When he either starts working late randomly or going out with his so-called buddies. That’s definitely something that you should keep an eye on. When a partner in any kind of relationship starts changing the schedule that has worked for both individuals for a super long time and doesn’t even clearly talk to you about it, there’s something wrong. And you need to address it. Sure, those late nights might be his decision, but they definitely affect you too. It’s never okay to ever go behind a partner’s back and start planning things without them being aware of it or even just involved. Again, communication is super important here. It’s the key to knowing whether or not someone is being truthful and considerate. So keep that in mind. You can’t have a relationship without it.
16. He Keeps Lying
This is one of the biggest signs that he’s hiding something from you. Of course we all know that lying is always one of the worst things someone can do to ruin a relationship. But when someone is hiding something, it’s time to look at the clues and put the puzzle pieces back together. People often find that a significant other was constantly caught lying even about the most simplest things when they were cheating or hiding something else detrimental to a relationship. It’s a tough call to make and it’s not easy feeling like someone is lying to you, but be careful about throwing around that accusation because it’s a tough one to come back from. Even if you think someone is lying one hundred percent, you need to approach the situation carefully and calmly with accusations right off the bat. Ask questions, listen, and move forward based on that information.
15. He Seems Super Nervous
If you’ve noticed your guy being a bit more on edge than usual for no reason at all, there are some serious questions that he needs to answer. One of the easiest things to pick up on is nervous behavior, such as shutting off his phone when you enter the room, or turning it over on a table or something so that the screen isn’t visible. Even keeping his phone near him basically all day could be a subtle hint that something isn’t quite right. Just be aware of his behavior and the little ticks he seems to have developed over time. It’s even more alarming when you notice these behaviors and he’s never had them before and they started recently. Keep an eye out on them and pay attention and remember the things he’s been doing and bring them up to him if they continue. It’s never a great feeling to bring something up like this to the person you love, asking them if they’re doing something wrong, but it’s necessary for your emotional safety and that’s just as important as anything.
14. His Body Language
Body language says it all. If your man is always closed off out of nowhere, there might be something wrong that he’s not telling you. If you’ve ever noticed your man not being as open as he once was around you or if you’ve ever felt a bit off when next to him because the warmth radiating from someone who loves you just seems a bit more absent than usual. This could be a sign that something is wrong that needs to be addressed. Body language is something that is super natural and it can explain a lot about moods, personalities, and feelings. It’s easy to pick up on the changes if you live together as well so just keep an eye out and eventually bring it up. Start off slow and small by asking your boyfriend if anything is wrong and take it from there. It might not be anything and the conversation might actually save your relationship, but you want to know what’s going on, don’t you?
13. He’s Being Too Nice
Usually when people are guilty of something they will try to make it up to the person they wronged simply because they want to make themselves feel better about the situation. Unfortunately, there’s such a thing as being “too” nice. Usually this occurs when an individual is feeling extremely guilty about something they’ve done and they’re trying to make themselves feel better about the issue. It’s usually done out of very selfish reasons and you have to pay attention to it. This doesn’t mean that if your man brings you flowers home one day he’s automatically cheating, you just need to pay attention to the signs, when they start to connect together that’s when it becomes a bitter issue! Just be careful and trust your instincts because they always know best. Keep in mind it’s probably best to just sit down and talk before you just accuse a person of something, never be too in a rush to form an opinion.
12. No Intimacy
When you aren’t physically intimate with your partner for a period of time and it just happens out of nowhere, the truth is that there is usually a reason. While there are some logical and legit reasons, sometimes this lack of sleeping together means that your boyfriend is cheating or that there’s something else bad going on. This is one of the most sensitive subjects on this list simply because of how important it is to many many relationships. It’s an issue that affects a lot of people, some because of health issues, others because of body image issues, but when it comes down to it and all of a sudden they don’t want to start sleeping with you out of nowhere, it’s best to talk about the issue and how it’s making you feel. Be honest and clear about what you’re saying and talk it through, if they continue to shut down or cut you off by telling you that you’re needy or complaining, they need to take a hike.
11. He Doesn’t Act Like He Cares
If he doesn’t act like he cares about you anytime, that’s a shift in the quality of your relationship. That proves that something a bit more sinister is going on and that he is totally hiding something. People tend to shut off their normal life because of guilt and overall just feeling crappy about what they’re doing. It’s never a good feeling when someone that you love seems to totally stop caring about you and it happens completely out of the blue. It can be super emotional for you and bring on tons of stress that no one should have to deal with. If this keeps happening and there is no change at all, it’s very clear that the guy has either been hiding something or is not interested anymore. If he doesn’t have the guts to tell you anything about why things have changed, he’s not worth your time whatsoever! Move on and live your life to the fullest, he can’t hold you back anymore, and hopefully, he’ll learn his lesson.
10. His Stories Have Too Many Details
When someone adds too many embellishments to a story they just told you, it’s usually because they’re lying (there are actually some studies about it). This is one of the most basic details to pay attention to when it comes to trying to figure out if a guy is hiding something from you. It’s human instinct to create up a story when you’re stuck in a lie and usually that means that you create too many details. You figure that, hey, that’s how you’re going to prove that your tale is actually real. Think about this. Makes sense, right? This instinct usually takes over but if your BF is doing this, then he’s taking things way too far and you can easily spot the fact that he’s lying to you. Pay attention to his stories and also think about the excuses that he’s telling you. You might be shocked to discover how easy it is for you to figure out that he’s actually totally lying to you.
9. He Shuts Down
If your BF is under a ton of stress (like at the office, for example), it’s normal for him to shut down… in a way. But if his go-to way of dealing with a conversation with you is to totally shut down emotionally, that’s not a good sign. He might just constantly agree with you to get you to shut up or he might not even answer at all. Take note if you find yourself frequently fighting with him over the smallest things and if he’s always shutting down. If your partner shuts down at even a hint of confrontation, there’s something more going on you’re probably not aware of. When you have a conversation with your partner, it’s never okay to just stay silent. You have to engage and be open about what’s being said, otherwise what’s the point of being together if you can’t work together to figure out an issue that’s come up?!
8. He’s Super Distant
It’s a common fact that distance is one of the key elements to determining whether or not a partner is hiding something. The distance could be because of other issues, but more often than not it’s because of something pretty negative and awful. It’s normal for every relationship to have their own unique dynamic that sets them apart from everyone else, but it’s typically a common practice to be very close with the person you’ve been in a relationship with. If you ever find your partner trying to find ways to distance themselves this should shoot off a red flag in your head before it’s too late. Of course like always it could be a number of different reasons, but they should not be able to slip by under your radar. Distancing oneself from a loved one is a key thing that comes up when a relationship starts having issues because of an individual hiding something.
7. He Has Mood Swings
Constant mood swings are sometimes normal depending on the person but if they’ve seemingly cropped up out of nowhere, it’s actually kind of scary. Everyone has mood swings, it’s just a fact of life, but if your boyfriend only seems to be moody around you, specifically when you reach out to them because you want to spend time with them, that’s something that can’t go on much longer. No one should turn into a monster just because their partner wants to spend time with them. Of course, sometimes people are a bit tired or too stressed, but no matter what it should not happen that frequently. If they continue to refuse to give you an answer, then you need to either back away completely. Mood swings can be innocent in most cases but just be aware of how other factors play into what’s going on. You can never be too careful and you have a right to a boyfriend that’s not crazy moody all the time.
6. His Work Schedule Changes
When there is a sudden change in his work schedule and that’s never happened before, it’s time to take a deeper look at your relationship. It’s even worse when this changes without warning and if he doesn’t even tell you about it ahead of time. Usually if his work schedule changes, that’s because he’s changing his shift or he got a promotion or a new job or something like that. You would think that your boyfriend would tell you if that happened. There should be no surprises when it comes to things like this. No matter what the changes are, your boyfriend should discuss them with you ASAP and he shouldn’t just randomly tell you or shoot you a short text message. This is also weird if he doesn’t seem to care about telling you or even what you think about this. Change is hard for anyone and something like this can really speak poorly about a guy. It brings up questions he probably won’t like, either.
5. He Ignores You
If your man is constantly ignoring you for other things in his life, not only is it not fair to you that he just keeps spending time with you to make you want to stick around, it’s simply not okay. When you plan to spend the rest of your life with your partner, your next thought should never be thinking of how to spend less time with them. Scarily enough, people actually do that and it’s horrifying! They end up feeling safe in the relationship as if it’s something to fall back on and end up messing around with things they shouldn’t be, simply because they feel safe where they are in life. It’s completely wrong and usually ends up with them ignoring you. Your partner should be the most important thing in your life, the top of the list, not someone who can be easily ignored for someone else or even just being able to shut them out. It’s completely wrong and shocking.
4. He Makes You Feel Self-Conscious
It’s never okay to make a partner feel self-conscious, especially when we live in a society that constantly puts down women and markets everything to them by saying they aren’t good enough. Don’t put up with it, no matter what. No one in this world deserves to feel self-conscious about themselves or even their relationship. When two people are in a relationship it should lift those people up with support and love, not with ignorance and guilt. Two people that are together should support and love each other as often as they can, that’s the importance of a relationship and why it’s so sought out in this life. If someone you love is constantly and purposefully making you doubt yourself and feel self-conscious, it’s time to move on to bigger and better things. Live your life with no regrets and be happy with a new future without toxic people!
3. He Has Tons Of New Friends
When he suddenly makes some new friends that want to hang around all the time, yet he never really mentions them to you or asks if you want to hang out with them, then something’s fishy. Of course it’s perfectly fine to have new friends, we’re here on this earth to meet new people and explore what is offered, but when it reaches the point of no return and you find yourself constantly feeling sick about the times your man goes out with his new buddies, maybe it’s time to speak to him about it. Ask why you aren’t included, ask why he can’t tell you more about them and ask if you could all get together. If he ends up shutting down and brushing it off, then it’s time to take it a little bit more seriously and make a decision for yourself. There is nothing wrong by standing your ground. This is what you should do if there is no other way to make him openly communicate.
2. His Digital Communication Changes
When he stops texting or calling you when he’s out for a long night or staying late at work, there is really no excuse for that behavior. This is the digital age. We’re constantly put to the test because of how easily technology makes everything readily available to us through our fingertips. Even though it’s hard to imagine a world with the technology that we currently have to better our lives, sometimes people take it a step too far and push the limits of a relationship by flirting online under the guise of it not counting as cheating because it’s not in real life. But you have to remember that technology is our real life now! The best way to deal with something of this level is to set clear guidelines for both of you that covers what cheating is and what it isn’t. If those guidelines can’t be followed, move on and start swiping on Tinder.
1. You’re Listening To Your Gut
Your gut is your best friend when it comes to situations like this. You know better than anyone when something is bad for you. Listen to yourself and how you feel because usually, you’re totally right. That doesn’t mean you have to jump to conclusions, but it does mean you should try to talk to your guy about how you feel. If he refuses to listen and continuously keeps accusing you of being clingy or overly dramatic it might be best for you to either step away and revisit the issue or just step away completely because it’s more often than not a waste of time. We’re only on this planet for a little bit so we need to learn to listen to what’s best for us and our lives. It’s not selfish and it will save you time and heartbreak. Go out there in the world and rid yourself of the toxic people in your life and surround yourself with amazing people, it will definitely pay off in the end, you won’t regret it. You do you, girl!