So, you’ve paired up with someone new. Getting together with a new romantic partner is usually a pretty exciting experience. There are the butterflies you get whenever they send you a text message or give you a call, and then there are all of the the firsts that you can get giddy about as well. There’s the first date, the first time your hold hands, kiss, and of course, the first time you knock boots. Whether or not you’re getting it on with someone who you’re newly dating, or perhaps you’ve met someone that you’re only interested in sleeping with causally, there are usually a few things that people wish they knew about people they’re getting intimate with before they actually go ahead with the dirty deed. However, for a lot of people, asking these questions is far too awkward, so some people avoid them all together.
While there are some questions that you may not necessarily need to ask, some lines of inquiry might actually be crucial in making sure that you enjoy yourself, as well as look out for your well being. If you’ve ever been in this situation, a lot of these questions are probably going to sound pretty familiar. How did you handle it, when faced with this scenario?
17. “Have You Washed Your Sheets Recently?”
Now this one might not be the first thing people think of when they’re about to get lucky, but it is still definitely a valid question! If you’re about to get it on at their place, but don’t know them too well, you probably don’t have a good grasp of how diligent someone is about regularly washing their sheets. As well, if someone’s the type to have a rotation of different people in their bed during a short period of time, you’ve got to wonder who else has been in that bed, and what sort of thing has been left between those sheets. If you’re a bit of a germaphobe, perhaps you can choose an easy-to-disinfect locale, like some countertops or a shower? Just a thought, so that you can enjoy your romp without having to think about who else has been with your partner.
16. “Do You Do This Sort Of Thing Often?”
Now here, we have a loaded question to ask someone that you’re just about to get intimate with. Depending on the situation, this question can be interpreted in a number of ways. For example, someone may think that you’re just asking out of curiosity, while others may find it a little but judgemental. This line of inquiry could also lead someone to believe that you’re maybe trying to figure out if they’re more of the relationship type or if they’re just out to have casual fun. The better solution, then, whatever your reason for asking this question is, might be to say what you mean. Ask the actual question you’re thinking of, instead of masking it in another question that’s seemingly far too open for interpretation. Just be direct, and stop beating around the bush.
15. “Will Your Attitude Towards Me Change After?”
A crucial element of being in an adult relationship is to have a level of maturity that doesn’t make people question whether or not you’re an adult. This means being able to keep your cool around someone, even after you’ve seen them naked. If you’re about to do it with someone that you get along with, it’s not a crazy thing to wonder whether or not doing the deed will change things between the two of you. Of course, knowing someone in such an intimate way definitely changes things a little bit in a relationship, but there’s no telling whether or not someone will be able to maintain the kind of rapport they had with someone after they’ve knocked boots, so it’s definitely understandable to want to ask someone this.
14. “Did You Shower First?”
There are so many things going on when you get intimate with someone, and the last thing you want to do is worry about whether or not you’re feeling fresh enough to get down to your birthday suit. To make this question less awkward, you should simply say that you’re freshening up, which is pretty understandable.
As well, having a partner with funky B.O. probably isn’t ideal for most people. Perhaps a good remedy for getting squeaky clean before getting it on is to suggest getting things started in the shower. And why not? It’s a little adventurous, especially for the first time with a new partner, plus it ensures that both of you get freshened up if and when you move things over to the bedroom — or elsewhere — afterwards.
13. “How Many People Have You Slept With?”
This is definitely a question that isn’t exclusively something that women want to ask. While some may think that the idea of asking is silly, there are people out there who want to get a sense of a potential partner’s history. Is there little black book overflowing with so many names that they can’t close it, or can they count the number of partners they’ve had with one hand? Whatever your motivation is, it’s something that most people can’t help but be curious about. Unfortunately, it isn’t always the easiest thing to ask, especially if you’re just getting intimate with someone for the first time. For some people, knowing how many people their new partner has gotten it on with can be the tell-tale sign to see how experienced someone is in the bedroom.
12. “Have You Been Tested Recently?”
This questions is something that perhaps more people should be asking, as it is an important one that could be very beneficial to your health and well-being. If you’re starting up a relationship with someone new, or perhaps you’ve just met someone at a bar that you’re hoping to take home later on, it’s an uncomfortable question that people really need to ask more often. In some cases, people who may have an STI should be letting their new partners know. However, there is still a chance that they might not be forthcoming with that situation. However, if you go ahead and ask, then they might be more likely to let you know. At the end of the day, if someone isn’t willing to discuss this with you, even though you’re about to knock boots, should be a red flag.
11. “How Long Can You Last?”
Now, admittedly, this question might actually be a tough one to ask someone — especially if you’re getting it on with them for the first time. Some women are really turned on by someone’s stamina in the bedroom, and it might be a bit of a mood killer if the guy you’re about to do the deed with loses steam after a few, short minutes. If you’re not comfortable asking this question, but want to make sure that your encounter goes on for longer than a minute, you might want to kick things off with a lot of foreplay, to really get you both turned on. It’ll also ensure that you get to fool around for longer, even if the main event doesn’t last as long as you’d like it to.
10. “Does This Mean More To You Than Just The Physical?”
Getting intimate with someone physically isn’t always a casual affair for everyone. There are people who get emotionally attached to people that they’ve slept with. Whether or not you’re the kind of person, this is a question that might cross your mind during a first encounter. If you feel a deeper connection with someone that goes beyond the physical, you might want to know if they feel the same. However, if you’re in it just for the nookie, you might want to ask this question to make sure that the person you’re about to do it with is on the same page, and isn’t looking for a relationship. Either way, avoiding a question like this could lead to a lot of unnecessary drama, so it might be to your benefit to go ahead and ask.
9. “Can I Stay Here For The Night?”
Generally speaking, a lot of stories about new hookups don’t usually occur during the day. It seems that more often than not, getting between the sheets for the first time is a nighttime activity. Now, let’s say you’ve gone home with someone who you met at the bar — it’s also likely that there were drinks involved, and getting it on can take a lot out of a person. Put all of that together, and you’ve got to be tired. Even if it’s literally just to go to bed, sans cuddles, as a non-romantic event, sometimes ti can be awkward to ask a (sort of) stranger if it’s cool for you to crash. Some people might interpret this as a ploy to turn a one-night stand into something more, when for you, it might just be a case of not wanting to pass out in an Uber on the way home.
8. “Are You Going To Tell You Friends About This?”
This is a tricky question because verifying whether someone is going to stick to their word is tough to do. You might not kiss and tell, but that doesn’t mean that the person you’re kissing (and more) follows the same philosophy. If you’re the kind of person that likes to keep your private life private, this is a question that you might want to consider getting the answer to before getting it on. Unfortunately, if it’s a one-time thing, there’s no guarantee that the other person won’t talk about you after you’ve left — they don’t ever expect to see you again, after all. If you’re worried about your business being aired out into the world, or at least, someone’s circle of friends, it might be wise to establish a “no photos/videos” policy when you’re getting it on with anyone — just in case.
7. “Are You Going To Cuddle Me After?”
If you’re about one-night stands, you might be more of a “hit it and quit it” type of person, meaning you’d prefer to get out of there once you’ve done the deed. However, even people who are looking for casual fun might want a moment of affection once in a while. A good strategy to find out whether you’re likely to get cuddled after knocking boots is to casually bring up the fact that you are — or aren’t — a cuddler, and see what the other person’s response is. That way, you can get a sense of what their post-nookie behaviour is like, without having to ask them outright, which might feel awkward and a little presumptuous, if the other person thinks you’re asking in a romantic way.
6. “Are You Okay With Me Ghosting You?” #SeeYouNever
There are few people out there who say that they don’t mind, or like it when someone ghosts them. Perhaps if they weren’t really into the person who ghosted them, it might not have been a big deal, but when you’re ghosted by someone who you really like, it can hurt. There are likely more than a few times when people wished that their intentions about a physical encounter could be mutual and implicit, so that no one needs to have an awkward and uncomfortable conversation, but can still have all the fun that comes along with it. However, such is not always the case, and so sometimes, people must want to ask if the other person is cool with a ghosting situation. It’s hard to imagine that that question would get someone hot to knock boots, though.
5. “Are We Going To Become Friends With Benefits?”
For someone who is single, a casual, “friends with benefits” arrangement can be an ideal scenario, because you get to do all of the fun, adult stuff that comes with being in a relationship without having to commit to someone, if that’s not something you’re looking to do at the moment. While many single people might want this kind of arrangement, it’s often tough to ask this question, because whether we like it or not, there are still negative connotations about women being promiscuous, and so some women might feel like if they ask a new partner this question, they might be judged. Quite frankly, if you feel like someone is better suited as a partner between the sheets and nothing more, it’s probably best to establish that before anyone’s feelings get involved.
4. “Are We Exclusive?”
While there are people out there who are perfectly okay to have some casual, naughty fun with someone that they aren’t in a relationship with, some people may only prefer to get intimate with someone that they’re dating officially. Just as everyone’s got different dating rules, people also have different rules about when they’re comfortable enough to do it with a new partner.
Or course, asking the question about your relationship’s exclusivity runs the risk of opening up an entire can of worms about your relationship, so if you do want to ask this before getting up close and personal with a new partner, make sure you’re prepared to have a long talk about it, and be absolutely sure that you’re ready to hear the answer, whether it’s positive or not.
3. “Do You Have The Brand Of Protection I Like?”
It’s better to be safe, than sorry, right? This is why this is actually a pretty great question. Making sure that you’re safe when first getting together with a new partner is so important, and asking if someone even has protection in the first place is something that a lot of women feel weird about asking, when they should be comfortable doing so 100% of the time. While this question is a little more specific, your pleasure is also really important, because hey, that’s why you’ve decided to get in you birthday suit and get up close and personal with someone in the first place. Everyone has their preferences, as certain methods of protection can be geared towards the enjoyment of both parties. As well, there are people who may be allergic to certain things like latex, and if that person is you, you’ll probably want to ask this question to avoid some awkward rash situations.
2. “Are You Okay With This Being A One-Time Hookup?”
Listen, being in a relationship can be really great, but the reality is, it isn’t for everyone. Even you feel like you’re the relationship type, you might not be ready for one at the moment, and you may not want to get into anything serious with someone, even though you may want to knock boots with them.
If you’re interested in someone, but just for some short-term fun, it’s important to have that conversation and ask the question, because you should be clear about your intentions and make sure that you’re both on the same page. Things can get pretty uncomfortable if you think that this is only happening once, and they think that there might be more of a future between you two. Avoid hurting someone unintentionally and be direct.
1. “Can We Just Do This In The Morning?”
If you’ve just brought someone home after a night at the bar, chances are that it’s because you’re hoping to get some action. However, this doesn’t mean that you’re not tired or sleepy. While the desire to get it on might be there, your body might have other ideas. Sometimes, even when we really want to stay awake, our fatigue gets the best of us, and so wouldn’t it be nice if you could just take someone home and ask them to stay over, so that you can have a great, morning session? It might be a difficult question to ask without sounding kind of creepy, but sometimes, sleep wins, but it doesn’t mean you don’t want to get to the good stuff later. The plus side of that is if you’re enjoying that person’s company, you can grab brunch after.
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