Let’s all admit it ladies, we sometimes know it’s time to get engaged before our men know it’s time to get engaged. That is, of course, because most of us have been craving a sparkly diamond ring from the time we’re, like, 7 years old. Guys, on the other hand, don’t grow up getting excited about sparkly diamond rings, or white dresses, or marriage in general. Actually, guys are taught to fear marriage for several reasons. It means the end of their freedom, the end of possibly hooking up with someone who looks like Blake Lively (even though only Blake Lively could look like Blake Lively), and the end of a private life. Those things are, of course, ingrained into men because of pop culture. We watch television shows and films that largely paint marriage in a negative light, so this makes guys hesitant when it comes to making that leap.
There’s also an internal fear about marriage. I mean it is a big step in life that signifies growing up. There’s marriage, babies, retirement, and then death, right? Sometimes guys aren’t necessarily so scared to commit to marriage, but rather scared of what that means – and it means growing up and getting old. So, how do women, who are taught to be excited about marriage, get men, who are taught to be afraid of marriage, to propose to them? Well, below are 15 real ways to get him to propose to you.
Go get that sparkly ring, girl.
15. Drop A Million Little Hints
This is subtle, but it can also be really, really annoying. However, it’s still one of the ways to get him to propose, mostly because he’ll do it so you stop dropping hints.
If you go this route, you can start dropping hints everywhere, and we really mean everywhere. If you make him two pieces of toast, you can jokingly say the two pieces of toast are married with a wink. So many things come in twos these days, so you can make this joke forever until he proposes to you. One minor issue is that you have to make sure that these jokes are obvious enough that he’ll pick up on the hints. The second issue is that, like we said, it’s annoying. Have you ever heard a guy say, “My girlfriend is so passive aggressive and I love it?” Nope. Guys don’t say that because they hate when we subtly hint towards things.
14. Make A Big Purchase Together
Making a big purchase together is a huge step in a relationship. It doesn’t have to be a house or a car. It can be a mid-way expensive purchase, like a sofa, a refrigerator or a fancy espresso machine that you both really want. Whatever it may be, making an expensive purchase together will help him realize that you guys are a team – both emotionally and financially. It’ll make him feel bonded to you and hopefully make him think of you in a different way… like a wife.
Of course, this example assumes that you two are living together already. If you’re not, try moving in together. There is nothing that will make you feel more like a married couple than living with your significant other. But if you’re already doing the living together thing, express to him that you’d like to purchase something big together. Also, the ‘saving us for this big purchase’ will feel like teamwork, the kind of teamwork that a husband and wife have. And it’s good practice for saving for a wedding.
13. Have A Holiday Tradition
You know how the holidays make you feel? You feel that warm and happy feeling at the thought of family, presents, turkey, or fireworks, right? Well, find a way to induce your boyfriend into the holiday spirit. This can be done by starting a particular holiday tradition with him. Having a specific holiday tradition between just the two of you will make you feel like a little family already, because that’s a big part of starting a family. If you get married, you’ll then be celebrating every single holiday together until the end of time.
It can be a new tradition between just you and your sweetheart. Additionally, another option is to include your boyfriend in a family tradition that you and your family have been doing for years. Whatever the case may be, enjoying a holiday tradition together will make the two of you feel bonded like a family. It will help him envision you as his wife and get you one step closer to that sparkly ring.
12. Hang Out With Happily Married Couples
Do you know a happily married couple? If you do, hang out with them! That is one of the best ways to remind your guy that everything won’t suddenly change when you’re married, which is something that guys really do fear. It’s the whole ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ adage. If the relationship is working just fine, why change it? But in showing your boyfriend that married couples are still happy, healthy, functioning couples, you’ll get him one step closer to proposing. Plus, if he knows that you have some other married couples to hang out with, that may encourage him. I mean it’s always fun to hang out with other couples that are on your level, right?
11. Talk About Not Wanting to Get Married
Reverse psychology does work, my friends. Instead of going on and on about wanting to get married, dismissing the idea of marriage may work even better. You could say that you’re not sure you’re into the idea of marriage. You could also simply say that you don’t really think about marriage all that much. You could say that if it happens then it happens. That’s such a cool girl thing to say, right? This will get his mind thinking about marriage, about you, and about marriage with you.
Also, by playing the aloof card, you’ll entice the hunter inside of him. Guys are hunters by instinct and, therefore, always want what they can’t have. Once you tell him you’re not sold on the idea of marriage, he’ll suddenly be washed over with a need to wife you up. Just don’t play too, too hard to get. You don’t want to completely discourage him.
10. Make Him Miss You
Be MIA, girl! In a serious relationship, there is such a thing as spending too much time together. It happens often without anyone even realizing it. Between the Netflix binge sessions, the snuggling, and the actual dates, you can end up spending almost every waking hour with your significant other. This can make him forget how good he has it. But lucky for you, it’s easy to remind him just how good he has it. Simply disappear a bit. Be a little MIA. Forget to answer his text for a few hours. Go out with your girlfriends for a few nights. Be too busy with work to hang out with him. Whatever your excuse is, go for it.
9. Become Indispensable
‘Become indispensable’ is vague advice, but that’s because it can be done in many, many different ways and usually depends on the situation. Being indispensable just means being an important member in the relationship – bringing something to the table. If you completely rely on your boyfriend for money, a social life, or to do house chores, he may forget what you bring to the table. You can become indispensable in simple ways. If you usually depend on him for social events (either to plan fun things or to hang out with his friends), plan a night out on your own. Surprise him with a cool event. If he’s the breadwinner, you can turn yourself into the person who takes care of all the housework or get a part-time job. If you depend on him to be the handy man, hang up a picture by yourself.
8. Just Be Straight Forward
While many of these ‘ways to get him to propose’ tactics are veiled to some extent, you could also just be straight forward about things. This works best if you are on the same page in the relationship. If you’ve been dating for, like, six months and you sit him down and ask him where your ring is, he may think you’re crazy. But if you’ve been together for years and you live together, it’s totally reasonable for you to be thinking about marriage. If you’re older, that’s another factor that you could talk about. I mean, it’s not like you have time to waste if you’re 37 and looking to get married, right?
Just be sure that you’re on the same page because sitting a guy down and talking about marriage can be really awkward if you’re not both ready for that step. If you choose to go this route, he may respect your honesty about the subject. The type of woman who is vocal about her wants and needs is the type of woman many men want to wife up.
7. Adopt A Pet Together
If you don’t have a pet, get a pet! First of all, there’s the fact that having a pet is, like, the best thing in the world. I mean we’ve all seen those videos of adorable kittens and puppies. Who wouldn’t want a cuddly little animal in their life? So, there’s that selling point. Another thing is there is so much more that having a pet will do for the relationship. Having a pet will help him visualize you as a mother and you both as a parenting team. Yes, pets are a lot of responsibility, but taking on that responsibility together can bring you two even closer. You’ll be the guardian of his dog or cat, and that will make him envision you also being the mother of his baby one day.
The added bonus of this one is that you’ll love your new pet so much that you might not even care about him proposing anymore. Who needs a sparkly ring when you have an adorable dog who loves belly rubs?
6. Enjoy A Girls Night (And Look Really Hot)
This, again, falls into the reverse psychology category. Instead of cuddling up next to your man and hoping he’ll propose, go out with your girlfriends. And when you do go out with your girlfriends, look really, really, really hot. You boyfriend will inevitably imagine dudes hitting on his super hot girlfriend and feel jealous. It’ll also remind him that you were, in fact, once single. This reminder of your single life – you looking hot and going out on the town with girlfriends – can shock him into proposing. Think about it, no one wants to imagine their significant other flirting with other people, right?
Reminding him how hot you looked while you were on the market can make him want to take you off the market forever. But don’t overdo the nights out. After all, you wouldn’t want him to end up thinking you cheated on him now, would you?
5. Watch ‘The Bachelor’ Together
Watch The Bachelor together, duh! Watching a show about people trying to get married will put the thought of marriage in his head. Although, The Bachelor can sometimes be a bad idea because of how dramatic it is. When he thinks of marriage, he shouldn’t imagine all the crying that goes on during an episode of The Bachelor. But watching something in which people want to get married and do get married is a good idea. Almost any romantic comedy falls into this category, so sit him down for a marathon of Kate Hudson movies. That’s really a win-win because let’s all admit it, Kate Hudson movies are the best.
4. Talk About The Ring You Want
This is one of the more upfront methods, but hey, you don’t want him to propose with an ugly ring, right? You don’t necessarily have to sit him down on a computer and physically go through styles of rings you like and don’t like (well, you could if you want to be really upfront). You could also wait for it to feel organic and, at that moment, bring up what style of ring you like or don’t like. If you’re walking down the street and just so happen to pass Tiffany’s (even if you totally planned this out in your head), point out what ring you like in the display window. If someone picks out an awesome ring on The Bachelor, tell your guy that you love that ring. It’s low-key, but he’ll totally get the point.
3. Get Pregnant
If you’re willing to do absolutely anything to get your man to propose, you could always get pregnant. This, of course, won’t guarantee he’ll propose, but it’s a good start because when guys hear baby, they think family, and family usually starts with a marriage. I mean, there’s even a term for this kind of situation – it’s called a shotgun wedding.
Of course, getting pregnant in hopes he’ll propose isn’t really the best idea ever. He might not propose and then you’ll be a single mother, so that’s a terrifying thing in any regard. Plus, having a baby to get someone to marry you isn’t the best reason to have a baby. You should have a baby because you are ready to be a mother and want to be responsible for caring for another person. But, hey, it might get him to propose so…
2. Give Him An Ultimatum
This is what every woman wants to avoid, but sometimes an ultimatum is the fastest way to get what you want. If your man knows you are expressly ready for marriage (and he still hasn’t gotten down on one knee), maybe it’s time to drop the ultimatum in which you tell him he needs to propose by a certain point or the relationship is done. The disadvantage with this option is that you have to stick to your guns. If he fails to propose to you by your suggested date, you really have to be ready to leave him. You should only propose an ultimatum when you are ready to settle down. If you are in a ‘marriage now’ phase, pull out the ultimatum card. But if you could wait a year or so more for a proposal, hold off on the ultimatum. Ultimatums make men feel like they are forced, and it’s not something you can really do more than once. So only go this route when it’s 100% now or never.
1. Just Do It Yourself
Why not, right? If you are ready to get married and he is ready to get married, just propose yourself. Flip the script! Yes, it may be a little underwhelming to get down on one knee instead of watching him get down on one knee, but isn’t the point of it really just to get married? If that is the case, it shouldn’t really matter who proposed the end of the day. Plus, think of how badass it is to be a woman who proposed to her man. It’s ballsy and modern and cool.
There you have it, 15 ways to get that man of yours to propose. Now, just remember to get a manicure so you can Instagram your ring right after the proposal. Remember, if it’s not on social media, it’s not real yet.