Are the years piling on? Are you now the older woman, in your mid 30s to early 40s? Stop worrying so much and take it from someone who has been there: the dating scene is about to get a whole lot crazier.
Let me tell it to you straight: young men, those in their 20s, like older women. They all have their reasons, from feeling that older women are safer, friendlier, more open and honest to believing that older women are just sexier than their younger counterparts. When you hit 35 and over, you are going to see a lot of younger guys check you out, smiling at you, and stopping to talk to you.
It is really strange at first. You might think that society has written you off, but the opposite is actually true. In spite of what the fashion industry tells us (that youth is everything), men have rebelled against the system and are turning to older women to lead the way.
Think about it. Being older, you probably have your career set. You make a good income and can support yourself comfortably. You have probably also gotten over your teenage shortcomings and self-conscious issues. Now, you are just you, and younger men appreciate the realness of who you are.
15. We’re Not Always Immersed In Our Phones
I am so sorry, folks, especially younger folks, but you all look so silly with your faces turned down and your eyes glued to a little screen. Yes, I am one of the old cranks who has bucked the system and bought a simple text phone. I almost never use it. The funny thing is, when I got together with my best friend from high school this summer, she had the exact same text phone. She works in law enforcement and has witnessed the havoc smart phones can create and I simply prefer using my brand new iMac desktop for online work. She and I both attract the younger men, and I feel that part of the reason for that is that our heads are not staring downwards, missing life. We look where we are going, we make eye contact, and we’re not constantly taking a wild or crazy selfie. Younger guys notice us, they see we are not into ourselves or a virtual following, and they feel that we are more approachable than someone holding up a phone and grinning at it.
14. Guys Feel They Can Be Open With Us
When was the last time you sat down and had a deep, meaningful conversation with someone from the opposite sex? I think that for many older women, the deep conversations happen with younger guys. That is because the younger men are interested in our experiences. They actually listen to every word we say, from advice about other women and dating to making the best career move. Younger guys also feel as though they can be more open with us about personal things. It may be that they see us as more maternal than younger women or it may be that we don’t hang out with their peers and therefore would never tell anyone about their secrets. Older woman are safe ground. We aren’t going to gossip about a lover because we know full well that he could turn around and do the same to us. We are smart enough not to start that ugly head game.
13. We Don’t Need Constant Praise
Male or female, there is nothing more annoying than an adult who craves constant praise. I have known a guy like this. Everything he did, he expected way more than a thank you, and he expected at least a week’s worth of constant praise for something as simple as taking my laundry out of the dryer, sticking it in a laundry basket (unfolded) and placing it in my bedroom. On the flip side, some young women also expect constant praise. They expect a guy to always tell them that they look fabulous, even when they don’t, and they expect guys to notice every little change they make, either to themselves or their apartments. Guess what? I don’t even notice these types of little changes because I am often too busy with either work or de-stressing from work. Younger guys like older women who don’t seem to need the constant daily praise some of the high maintenance girls need. I can’t say I blame them.
12. We Can Stand Our Own Ground
Damsel in distress? Hardly. Being the older woman means I can mow my lawn, take out the trash, and change a car tire when no one else is around. Older women have had to do it all at one point or another. It is the same way with standing our ground. There are some things we won’t do, things that we morally object to, and things that absolutely disagree with who we are. We are not going to change our minds on these things and we can clearly see the difference between right and wrong. There is no waffling or bopping back and forth. Maybe this makes us old and stubborn, but I think it makes us stronger than the younger ladies who haven’t made up their minds about certain things yet. We know where we stand, we are willing to discuss it, but it is highly unlikely you will convince us to change our minds. If you want to fight about it, we are ready for you.
11. We’re Comfortable In Our Bodies
Something strange happened when I turned forty. I stopped keeping my body at a low weight and allowed myself to put on 10 pounds (4.5 kg). I am still thin, I am just no longer bone thin. For the first time in a long time, I feel really comfortable in my own body and, weirdly enough, I attract more men with the extra years and body weight than I did in my skinny youth. You may also remember how body conscious you were when you were a teenager and in your early 20s. You might have been miserable and totally unhappy with your looks. Did you complain a lot about being fat or having a large bum? Guys absolutely hate that. In fact, they like women who are comfortable with their bodies, who don’t sit around and complain about their looks all the time, and who aren’t afraid to take it all off during private time. Self-confidence is golden.
10. We Stopped Worrying About The Small Stuff A Long Time Ago
Young women have so much to worry about, from getting a good education to getting a job and working their way up. There’s the college bills, the pressure to get married and have children, and trying to maintain high school and college friendships. There is just so much going on all at once that young women can and do worry a lot about the small stuff. But there comes a point in everyone’s life where they realize that the small stuff should be addressed, but not fretted over. Life is way too short to get angry about a glass of milk left on the counter overnight or a night without internet service. We put up with fewer stressful situations and will get up and leave if something gets to be too much. Worrying about stupid stuff is pointless and puts way too much stress on a relationship. Older women are generally calmer and more accepting of the way things are, making younger guys feel a little less on edge around us.
9. We’re Not In A Rush To Get Married
What is the rush when it comes to marriage? When we are younger, we are often led down a path that tells us that women should get married and learn to depend on a man for the rest of our lives. Hopefully these views are starting to change with younger generations, but some of the old fashioned crap is still lingering around. By the time we grow older, marriage becomes less important to not important at all. Many older women are divorced. They have experienced dependence and never want to feel that helpless again. They had to struggle for their independence, to make their lives their own. Younger men pretty much understand that many older women are not looking to get married. There simply is no point to it. Instead, without the pressure of a future marriage, two people are able to take things slow and easy so that a real relationship can be built.
8. We Like Trying New Things
Young women seem set on getting stuck in their ways as young as they possibly can. It is almost as though they think that growing up means to stop having fun. As we age, we realize just how wrong we were. While us older gals can’t go back in time to do all the things we missed out on, we figure that now is as good a time as ever to start scratching things off the old bucket list. Older women are naturally more adventurous than younger women. Most of us have grown kids and are no longer responsible for toddlers and young children. We can get out more, go on mini vacations at the drop of a hat, and we have the extra income to plan out special events. Of course a younger guy is going to like this. He doesn’t want someone holding him back from having some genuine, childish fun. Older women can get into that mindset and run with it.
7. We Don’t Play Social Media Head Games
The younger crowd certainly knows how to work the social media playbook, don’t they? There are the passive aggressive posts where people call “someone” out without ever actually mentioning names (“you know who you are”), there are those who can’t make up their mind about their relationship status, and people who like to collect “friends” of the opposite sex. When you get right down to it, most of the people who are extremely active on social media are players, people seeking attention, and people who are in love with themselves. Who has time for that? Not older women. We mostly use social media to keep in touch with family or co-workers. We use it to share links and photos, but it is not a relationship play tool for us. We don’t have the time for that nonsense and many younger guys just don’t get the game play happening on social media, either.
6. We Usually Have Set Life Goals
Goals should be important to everyone, young and old, male and female, but often goals are something that we don’t start to set until we are in our 30s. Older women simply know that if they want to accomplish anything in life, they have to set goals for themselves. If it is a large, seemingly unattainable goal, older women instinctively know that they will have to take a large goal and break it down into smaller goals or steps. Goal making and achieving is something you learn to do and get better at over time, and older women have goals, whether they share them with others or not. Younger guys know this. They can see that older women have a purpose to nearly everything that they do. There are steps to follow. Younger guys love this method for reaching far flung goals and turn to older women to help them establish their own personal goals.
5. We’re Far More Realistic
Young women are beautiful with their dreams of greatness and their optimistic outlook on the future. The only problem is that many younger women have not yet figured out how to get from point A to point B. They are still learning and don’t have the experiences of failure to help guide them. Some dream big without ever taking a step towards meeting that dream. As women get older, they come to realize that there are certain things within our grasp right now and things that either will never be or things that will need a better foundation under them before they can be reached. Older women set realistic goals. Sure, we may be big time dreamers, but when it comes to working with other people or being in a relationship, we are well-grounded in reality. For younger men, this means that they can use our experience and knowledge to grow, to get a leg up, and to advance in the workforce. In relationships, they know that there won’t be any unrealistic expectations taking place.
4. We Build Relationships On Friendship First
Women in their 30s and 40s make men get to know them first, usually long before there is any action in the bedroom. A well-developed relationship is important to us and trumps reckless romances any day. We like friendships and we don’t want to waste our time getting to know someone who we are certain is completely incompatible with us. Younger guys like this because they know that older women are being upfront and will level with them. It is not a game, but an evolution into a profound relationship that has its ground work based on friendship, understanding, and respect. We meet a man, get to know him, talk with him, ask him questions, and show a genuine interest in who he is. In return, he listens to what we are saying and knows that we have a lot more life experience under our belts, and he feels like he is becoming more mature and more rounded.
3. We’re More Honest And Upfront
Ask an older woman anything and the chances are pretty high that she is going to answer you honestly. It might be brutal, but you will have your answer. By the time a woman reaches around 35 years of age, she is pretty much done with prettying her words up. She might talk all sweetness with her kids, but with other adults, she is going to be dead on honest. Some people get scared off by the upfront honesty, but younger guys seem to like it. Maybe it is a thrill for them or they just enjoy the shock value of blurting out the truth. Whatever the case, older women have the attitude and experience to back up what they say. Don’t like it? Tough poop, then don’t ask. Never engage an older woman in a personal conversation unless you want the cold hard facts of life laid before you.
2. We Have Things To Talk About
Do you remember what you were like when you were twelve? All you probably talked about was school, crushes, and best friends. If you are in your 20s and you overhear some preteens chatting, listen to them for a moment because, honestly, that might be how older people hear you: a whole lot of words and little depth. The older we get, though, the more we have to talk about. That is because we age and get more of life’s experience under our belts. From our 30s to 40s, we are building up our experiences and knowledge and suddenly we are attractive to the younger men. There are actually younger men in this world that like it when a woman has things to say and teach them. It just so happens that these types of guys also like older women. We give them what they crave: great conversation without them having to come up with something to talk about all the time.
1. We’re End Dead Relationships Quickly
Life is way too short to be stuck in something that both people would rather not be in. That means older women know when to stop wasting time on a relationship that has gone stagnant or bad. They also know when it is time to simply let go. Many relationships have a shelf life. Some last only a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or the relationship may go on for years. Seldom is a relationship for life because people change and they often don’t change together in a complimentary pattern. When this happens in a relationship with an older woman, there won’t be any drama. More than likely, there will be a time of moving on and a long-lasting friendship that lingers on, possibly for life. Mature women understand that getting angry over relationship problems is not the way to living. It is called live and let live. Life goes on.