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15 Secrets All Women Keep From Men

in Girl Talk
15 Secrets All Women Keep From Men

Don’t lie: we know you have a secret or two that you’re keeping from your boyfriend. Actually, from all the men who are a part of your life. But don’t worry, we’re not here to bust you or bully you. No way. We’re only here to support you. We want you to know that you’re not alone. If you think you’re the only person who keeps something a secret from your boyfriend, then think again. All women keep secrets, and we’re not even talking about dark secrets yet. These are just typical secrets. And if you think keeping these secrets are bad, it’s really not. To our male readers, please understand that women have special needs and one of these needs is to keep secrets. To our female readers, know that there’s literally nothing wrong with keeping some things close to your chest. Here are 15 secrets that all women keep from the men in their lives.

15. We Check Up On Our Exes

Your ex, our ex, we check up on them more often than you think. We know it’s unethical to stalk someone on social media, but some of us think that because it’s our ex, or our partner’s ex, that makes it okay. And maybe it does. So don’t worry about it. After all, we’re not checking up on them to see if they look better than us or if they’re having a better life than us. We really don’t care about that. Well, most of us don’t. Most of us just want to stalk. It’s sort of like a hobby or a pastime and sometimes we just do this because we’re super bored. But really, there’s nothing behind it. Some ladies stalk their partner’s ex on social media because they want to compare, which is definitely normal and human nature, and then they check their ex on social media to see if they still suck. That’s it. Nothing to it.

14. We’re Pretty Gross

If there’s one secret we want to keep, that would be this one. For obvious reasons. We don’t want you to know the truth but we are honestly lazy about hygiene sometimes. Yes men, we are gross human beings. We’re not fans of cleaning our house, ourselves or basically cleaning in general. We just clean the house and ourselves because you’re around. Of course, if their partner is around, any normal person would so some spring cleaning. Even if it’s not spring. You know what we’re trying to say. But when you’re not around, or when we’re single, well, we don’t clean at all. Our roommates do the cleaning. We also don’t always shower every single day. Or wash our hair every single day. Yeah, this is actually true. Because it’s tiring. Or maybe because we’re just lazy. When we’re single, we don’t really care and we like being lazy.

13. We Don’t Actually Care About Your Money

One of the common secrets women keep and most men believe (and we have no idea why) is that women love men who have deep pockets. This is probably why lots of men want to impress women with luxurious dates. Ugh! In reality, we don’t really care about your money. Sure, we want you to have a good job (that pays pretty well) and we are attracted to guys who have work ethics. But that doesn’t mean that we demand that you pay for absolutely everything from dinners out to groceries to fancy vacations every six months. We want to have savings and some sense of security and happiness, not a luxurious life. At least not all women dream of a luxurious life, especially if the luxury is from the efforts of the man. We love to work hard on our stuff too, you know… we want to be able to buy ourselves something and say “I f*+!ing bought that for myself!”

12. We Freak Out When You Say You Want Kids

When you say that you want to have kids, we kind of freak out. And then you think that you are the one who is worried. But no, it’s really us. We get scared about having children. It’s one thing to babysit our nephews and nieces and it’s another thing to actually have our own baby. If you think that it would be easy for us to bear our own child, you seriously need to think again. Pregnancy is a really tough thing to go through and if we’re not ready yet and aren’t sure when we will be, we’re not going to love hearing you say that you want a baby and you want one now. We’re going to get scared. So if you’re not interested in being a dad yet and you can wait, then please don’t bring it up right now. We can always talk about this later when we are both in the right place and when we are both ready. Until then, we’re going to freak out… but we’ll keep our fear a total secret from you.

11. We Treat You Like Kings But Don’t Think That You Are

Please don’t think we think you’re kings. Please don’t think we’re exerting too much effort because we think you’re a king and that you’re worthy of this and that. Nope. We just love you and we want you to be proud of us and be proud of how we look and how we treat you. That’s it. Nothing else going on. Nothing between the lines. So when your girl treats you like a king, it’s simply because that’s how she is. She cares too much and when she loves someone, she makes sure that that someone gets the message. Don’t think that we see you as kings because we don’t. And we certainly don’t care if you’re “the man” in the relationship. There’s no dominance here. What we care about is being with a good person who will love us and take care of us and be responsible enough. Don’t give us that “I’m strong and I’m hot and I’m a king” drama because modern women like us don’t care about that.

10. We Talk About You

Okay male readers, y’all probably know this but just in case, we want you to know that women don’t know how to keep secrets. We don’t know how to keep secrets from our besties most of us. We tell each other everything. So whenever you say “This should be only between us” you’re actually saying “This should only be between you and me and your best friend.” Because that’s what it actually means. So don’t freak out if your girl’s best friend of all time knows that moment when you did something crazy. She will always know. Besides, you men probably have things you can’t keep from your male buddies. So you see, we’re totally and completely even. And don’t worry. We talk about you because we love you and because we’re so happy to be in a relationship with you. It’s really a good thing.

9. We Compare You To Our Ex-Boyfriends

And because we do this unconsciously (and sometimes consciously because we’re evil brats like that), we want you to understand that this doesn’t mean that we hate you. We just need to clarify that. This happens because… well, we’re not even sure. It just happens. In the middle of making out or even doing more, most women find themselves comparing their current partner with their ex and their ex before that ex. Is there anything so wrong with that? Besides, comparing doesn’t mean we don’t like what you do and how you do it. Maybe we mean you’re the best of the best. Maybe we think that you are just the greatest. So don’t judge. You have no idea what’s going on in our minds. What’s important is that we love you and we’re loyal to you. You can probably figure out why we keep this a secret from you, though.

8. We LOVE When You Do Chores

We love, love, LOVE men who do house chores. Even if it’s not their house. Even if they’re just visiting. See, it’s one thing for a man to make breakfast for his girlfriend. It’s another thing for him to do other chores like cleaning and doing the dishes from last night and even doing a load or two of laundry. Now that kind of man is definitely a keeper. And we may not be very vocal about it but we love you even more when you help around the house (or apartment). We love it when you do chores even without us asking. We appreciate it so much if you clean after yourself and if you clean the rest of the house. Don’t get us wrong, we’re not trying to ask that you become our official maid. We just want a man who knows how to clean and cook. And if the universe gives us that kind of man (a super responsible and loving man), we’ll be forever thankful for that. But are we going to say how much we love this? Of course not. Just another secret that we keep.

7. We Think Your Haircut Sucks

We will tell you that your outfit looks like sh*t or that your breath stinks but for some reason, women aren’t that comfortable telling their boyfriend they just had a really bad haircut. Probably because when they do, their boyfriend won’t be able to do anything about it aside from waiting for the hair to grow. And that’s going to suck. So instead, we just tell that you’re handsome and that your new hair looks awesome (even when it really, really doesn’t). We don’t even see it as lying, though. It’s a little white lie. We’re trying to be nice. We understand that you told the stylist to cut your hair that way or that you like your hair. Why do we keep this a secret, though? That’s because we want you to think that we’re always honest to you and that we never say something that we don’t actually mean. Women are champions of “only say something if you mean it” but they also break their own rules. It’s for the better, though. At least, that’s what we hope.

6. We Lie And Make Excuses

We lie, we make up excuses, and yet we hate it when you lie and make excuses. But despite the complicated life of women, please know that our number one goal is still all about honesty.  Even if we keep this a secret from you, this is the truth. We want our boyfriend to be honest so to all the men out there, please know this and don’t forget about it. No matter how much we lie to you, know that it’s because we can’t help it. Or sometimes, we’re just being brats. But we lie because we can’t help it and we forget how important being honest is. Despite this, it’s important that our boyfriend would read between the lines. We just want to be with someone who values honestly as much as we do. Is that too much to ask? Also, is it too much to ask if we want you to forgive us for being brats sometimes? We don’t think it’s too much.

5. We Put In Extra Effort To Look Good For You

Yes. As shameful as it sounds, this is a fact and it’s about time our male readers know about it. See, most women are born gross. As in they’re super lazy about cleaning up after themselves. They’re so lazy they don’t take a bath as often as a normal person does, and they’re totally okay walking around naked. Or in the pyjamas that they wore three days ago. But when we’re with you or when you’re sleeping over, we put in the extra effort to look presentable for you. We clean the house, we clean ourselves, we just clean and clean. This is how much we love you. Please know that it’s a huge effort on our part to clean but we do it because we want you to be proud that your girlfriend looks dashing. But when you and your girl have been together for months, expect that this effort will slowly die. And she’ll be her true gross self.

4. A Girl’s Gotta Do What A Girl’s Gotta Do

If we ask you, male friends, where you let your stream flow, chances are you will say where it belongs, because that’s the proper place to do it, right? Toilet bowls are there because people need to use them and to eliminate body toxins. Well, women have a different take on this. We also do this in the shower sometimes just like you guys do. Yes. We do. Because why not? It’s more comfortable. And besides, why should we follow rules in the first place? Who the hell cares if we go in the toilet bowl or in the bathtub or in the shower? Nobody. Nobody cares, especially if it’s an all-girl apartment. Nobody cares especially if we’re single. Got it? So don’t freak out if you’re with a girl for months now and you discovered she loves letting it flow in the shower. That’s totally normal, okay? That’s something that a lot of women do. But we keep it a secret.

3. We HATE What You Watch

Please guys, before you invite a girl to your apartment, make sure that all your private magazines and videos are all gone. As in, gone for good. As in thrown away and deleted. Because if there’s one thing most women hate about men, it is that they still keep their private stash as if they’ll die without it. Heck, why in the world would you keep a private stash anyway? If you have a girlfriend, then do those goodies still matter to you? Probably not, right? So if you’re thinking of getting things serious with a girl, you should first think if you can give up all these “precious” belongings. We know you think they’re precious, but it’s time to get rid of them. Or else you’ll be single forever and all you’ll have are videos of other people doing things you wish you can do too. That’s going to be a bitter life for sure. But most of us women keep our hatred of this a secret from the men in our lives because we don’t even want to have the conversation. But now you know!

2. We Fake It

You know those moments when you say you want to do something in bed and we pretend that we didn’t hear you? Yes, that means that we’re not feeling it. We’re not in the mood to do it. But sometimes, we give in because we love you, we want you to be happy, and there’s a little part of us that thinks it’s going to be fun. So we do it. But then realize it’s not fun. Not fun at all. This is why we fake enjoyment sometimes. We don’t want you to find out but, oops, now you know the secret that we keep. Sorry male humans, this is how we are and you can’t do anything about it. Even if you marry a princess, you will find out some day that even she is faking this stuff from time to time. Because it happens. We’re just being honest when we say that we don’t always have fun and that really is just the way that it goes.

1. We Want To Spice It Up

What is so wrong with being daring? It’s not gross and it’s not necessarily inappropriate, so why do most men hate the idea of it? If you meet a man who doesn’t hate the idea of a adding an extra partner, please let us know. On a serious note, we want to call all our male readers to pay attention to this. Please know that most of us women love a wild night every now and then. It’s even one of the reasons why ladies love a gigantic bed. It’s fun and it’s always interesting. Because when you’ve been with a guy for so long, bed stuff can be boring no matter what you two do. So some ladies (okay, most ladies) explore other options and topping the list is an extra partner. We just wish you’d understand, male friends. This is not our way of saying we hate you or you suck in bed or whatever crazy things you might be thinking. We, the lovely ladies in your life, are just looking for some fun.

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