In the dating world, people can get bored with each other and move on to other prospects. It happens to people every day. Guys, in particular, seem to be the gender that loses interest faster than women. Chick lit is based on this occurrence and thousands of books have profited over this happening to women. Our emotions cause us to hang on to unrealistic romantic ideals to hold onto the hope that maybe some day he will wake up and realize that we are his future bride. Realize that this only happens in rom-com movies and rarely in real life.
If a guy loses interest in you, there is typically no earning it back. Men are decisive creatures and once their mind is made up on not pursuing you any further, that is usually where it ends. It is frustrating and disheartening to be left to wonder why and what you could have possibly done wrong. Most of the time, it is not the fault of your own, but due to bad timing, incompatibility or life just happening. Just remember there are always other fish in the sea and more guys in the world that actually deserve your time.
Here are the main reasons why guys lose interest quickly.
15. The First Date Was Meh
They say that it is the first impressions that last the longest. The first date is no exception. First dates are such a pain in the behind to begin with because you almost feel pressured to be on your social A-game. You have to ask questions, pretend to be engaged in the conversation even if you are not and see if there is that initial spark. If there is no initial spark, then you can find yourself awkwardly finding a reason to go home early. This works both ways with men and women. Sometimes when you are on a “meh” date, you want to be polite and enjoy the drinks or meal, but you know that it simply not going anywhere. This might have been what he was thinking, but maybe you mistakenly though he was interested since he was being polite.
14. Your Inability To Carry A Conversation Turned Him Off
You meet a guy and he is cute and he thinks you are cute, but that is where it ends. Once the physical attraction wears away, sometimes both parties (or just one) realize that they have little to nothing in common. This is not the fault of yours nor his, it just means that you two are just completely different people. If you are into EDM and he only listens to country, then you will be in for some long, boring car rides where you can’t wait to get out. If he voted for Trump and you are adamantly against him, then there will be some values that might start to clash on the political end. You can try to counteract by asking about his day and polite and impersonal questions about his interest and hobbies. Extra brownie points if you start asking him about his favorite sports teams and you have a few that you like yourself. Find some good ice breakers. If even those ice breakers don’t work, then it wasn’t meant to be.
13. You Became Too Attached Too Soon
It does seem that some women get attached very easily to certain guys, especially after they have hooked up with him. Whatever you do, make sure that you give yourself and him enough time to at least get acquainted before pressuring him into a relationship. You can ruin an initial attraction if you make it known that you want to marry him after a week of dating. Just make sure you don’t let your emotions cloud your better judgement. If you find yourself falling for him or getting attached too soon, just take some time for yourself and re-evaluate why you are even attracted to him in the first place. This is probably the most common mistake a lot of women (and some men) make in the early beginnings of a relationship. You still want him to know you are interested, but not obsessed with him.
12. He Has Other Priorities
There is just something so sexy about guys who have ambition. They have it together, they will have a successful life ahead of them. But alas, that means that their days will always be spent studying or working. Becoming who he wants to be will not be an easy path, he will have to work hard and make sacrifices. Sometimes that sacrifice means withholding from the dating scene until he graduates or finishes whatever it is that he needs to do. This is especially true if he is in law school or medical school. When people barely have any time for themselves, they certainly won’t have time for a potential girlfriend or boyfriend. This is just something that you have to respect.
11. He Found A Hotter Girl
Sometimes you just can’t argue with the laws of biology. You are not the only hot girl that exists in this entire world. Single people like to explore different options. One big factor as human beings is that we seek the most attractive mate we can find. Though compatibility and personality are always going to play important roles, looks are what first attract us. He might have found someone while he was seeing you that made him want to jump ship. He just decided to go in a different direction and pursue another girl. It happens to the best of us. Even some of the hottest supermodels have been ditched for a different girl at one point (or at least we would like to think so). The key to really avoid this ever happening to you is always go for a guy who you find attractive, but who is not as attractive as you are. This way, you will be harder to replace.
10. Something Life Altering Happened
There are all kinds of different life altering events that make you disappear from the whole dating scene for awhile (and rightfully so). If there is a recent death in the family, getting let go from a job, moving to a different city or getting into some kind of trouble that has recently occurred, then chances are that being single is the best route to take. If you put yourself in his position, then you would probably agree that you would do the same thing given that situation. Life’s setbacks can either make people go their separate ways or become closer to one another. Don’t sweat it if it didn’t work out. This means that it was probably just bad timing. The best thing to do in this scenario is just let him deal with these changes in his life. If he comes around later, then great. If not, then it just wasn’t meant to be.
9. He Didn’t Have Much Interest To Begin With
It often occurs when we start seeing a guy who enjoys our company, but doesn’t enjoy it enough to want to have you around as much as you would like to be. If it seems like he is humoring you, placating you or otherwise just barely keeping you around, it is safe to assume that he is checked out. There is no way you are ever going to get this guy to invest too much time or energy into you. He will never go out of his way for you, and you should stop wasting your time and energy on him. No matter how much you feel attracted to him, this guy is not worthy because he is treating you like you are not worthy. The second he stops caring is the second you should stop caring. Maybe he is not a bad person, but he is indifferent to you. Don’t wait around for him to come around like it does in rom-com movies, because it is almost guaranteed that he won’t in real life.
8. You Started Chasing Him Instead Of Letting Him Chase You
At least at the first stage of courting, guys are the ones that are doing the pursuing. Even in modern times where feminism has positively influenced our society, sometimes you have to step back and not take on the masculine role. Let him do the chasing at least in the beginning phase. Obviously, you want to make it known that you are interested. Just don’t come off as needy or desperate. Take the initiative after he shows some initiative, you never want it to be the other way around. When you start initiating contact or asking him to hang out too early on, then he knows that he has you in his back pocket. It will make him feel like won’t have to much forth much effort in order to get your time and attention. Nothing scares guys away more than an overly aggressive female.
7. The Physical Chemistry Was Lacking
So the tension was all built up and when it came time to experience it, something was lacking. He doesn’t always know how to put his finger on it, but sometimes guys just get the sense that the chemistry was just a bit off or non-existent altogether. For some reason, he just wasn’t that into it. Maybe you were, but he wasn’t. This is often a bitter insult without it meaning to be an insult because you wonder what is wrong with you. Usually, it is no one’s fault, but you two simply didn’t mesh very well in the bedroom. Maybe on paper, he thought you were right for him in all other aspects. Though the physical aspect isn’t the entire package, it still a very important part. Keep trying until you find a dude where you have an insatiable chemistry. You won’t regret holding out for that one.
6. He Simply Took You For Granted
If you were willing to give him everything he wanted with little to no effort on his end, then he might have gotten too comfortable. It is important to be respectful and maybe going out of your way to do nice things. However, if this graciousness isn’t being reciprocated, then you will find yourself getting the lesser deal. Relationships are about balance with the premise of give and take. If you are always the one giving and he is the one taking, then you need to level with him on this behavior. If he really cares, he will recognize this and try to do better by you. If he doesn’t give a sh**, then he will just continue to do whatever you let him get away with until you move on. Even when you do move on, he will still carry the same indifference. You are better off putting effort into someone who deserves it.
5. He Is Not Over His Ex
If he recently got out of a serious or even semi-serious relationship, chances are he is still in love or he still at least has feelings for her. Take extra precaution if he still talks to her, because then drama can easily ensue, and you don’t want that in your life. If he still keep her pictures around and talks to members of her family or social circle, then that means that there is chance that they may get back together. Be careful in circumstances like this and be sure to protect your own heart. If you are seeing a guy and you are getting the vibe that you are living in his ex’s shadow, then you need to be the one to pull plug. Many times when people get out of relationships, they are looking for the void of companionship. The last role you want to play is the rebound, so don’t let yourself get stuck in that position.
4. He Already Got What He Wanted From You
In this day and age, millennials find themselves stuck in the hook up culture that occupies our dating life. This means exactly what the name entails. A culture of people just hooking up with each other with no strings attached. If you want something more than just a hook up, then withhold from anything too physical until he agrees to be your boyfriend. If he can’t do that, just cut your loses. That way, you will have spared yourself those feelings for him that many of us develop after we have hooked up with a guy. If you let him have what he is looking for too early in the game, you run a high risk of him not calling you back. However, if you let him chase you a bit then he will get to know you as a person. This is what makes guys think about dating you. Only after they have gotten to know you as a person before hooking up with you.
3. He Doesn’t See You As Girlfriend Material
If a guy spends a lot of time with you and enjoys being in your company, it is often hard to fathom why he wouldn’t want to date you. Despite all the time that he puts into you, why can’t he make the commitment? After all, that can’t be too hard for him. Or can it? Guys have the uncanny ability to hang out with a girl, hook up with her and spend hours out of their weeks with her…without wanting to be her boyfriend. That’s right. Girls can wind up in the friend zone too. Except for us, it is more like a friends with benefits zone. Stay in this zone only if you are 100% comfortable with it or you will get your heart broken.
2. He Was Not In A Place To Commit
Let’s face it. Relationships are hard work and they take a lot of time, energy and dedication in order for them to work out in the long run. Guys who are smart know this and acknowledge this. They know not to get too involved with certain women because that would mean that they have to commit to being their boyfriend. This is something that they do not want to take on as responsibility in their life. Again, timing is everything and even if there is no life-altering events occurring, sometimes he is just not in a place to be making a monogamous arrangement. This is especially true if he travels a lot or if you travel a lot. It’s not the end of the world, it’s just a time to explore the other options you have.
1. You Had A Player On Your Hands
For some guys, their prerogative is to experiment with as many girls as the possibly can without having to choose just one. They say that variety is the spice of life and for many young dudes, bedding as many women as possible is like a never-ending trip to the candy store. This is especially true for college aged guys in their early ’20s. Sure, there are a few that genuinely want a real girlfriend, but many do not because they are in the prime of their lives. They are not going to let anyone tie them down no matter how hot, smart or cool she is. These types of dudes are freedom fighters and there is simply no changing their mind when they tell you that they do not want a relationship. You are better off believing their blatant statements and moving on. Your heart is not the first one he has broken.
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