If you’re like me, you find it easy to believe in things. You find it easy to trust this tiny universe and its great works and miracles. But let me tell you one secret that I’ve recently learned: this world and its miracles are not always great. Sometimes, they’re total BS and they’re fooling people like me. Well, at least they fooled me a decade ago. Because if you keep on believing what this universe and the people in it tell you, I’m pretty sure you’ll have countless experiences of having BS thrown at you. Life is incredibly hard. So don’t assume you get everything right all the time. Because one day, you may think of Experience A as a gem but the next day, it will reveal its true colors and you’ll realize that experience was BS. Good luck with that. I can tell you that it’s definitely not a fun experience but hopefully, you can learn from it too. Here are 15 things I thought were great but I realized are anything but.
15. Being Independent Is The Best Thing In The World
The thing about independent people is that society sees them as invincible. Please, learn how to differentiate things. Just because you see me as independent doesn’t mean I’m a strong and wise human being. There are moments when my stupidity is at level 98 and my day is a complete mess. Sometimes, it’s a month of complete messes. I don’t always have it all together, you know. And it sucks that people see independent people as invincible people. Because we’re not. So no, being independent is not the best thing in the world. People will offer you less and less help because they think you can do it all. You’ve probably noticed that, right? They think that you can handle absolutely anything so they give you more and more. Unless you’ve already experienced this, you won’t realize how much of a lie this whole “being independence is awesome” thing is. Hopefully, you won’t be too afraid to ask for help because honestly, that’s what life is all about.
14. Having Lots Of Friends Is Great
This sucks too. Just telling you in case you don’t know yet. Let me tell you what life is like when you have lots of friends. Life becomes a big gossip pool. You get that, right? Okay, so I’m not saying my friends suck. I’m saying that when you have tons of friends, you can go back to the movie Mean Girls and realize just how totally and completely accurate that really is. It’s not just a Hollywood film, it will literally become your entire life. When we were kids, we were taught that having a huge social circle meant a lot and was really important. The wrong thing about this lesson is that it’s not about having lots of friends, it’s about having real friends, period. And usually, that means that you have a smaller social circle because these people really get you and are really there for you. They aren’t fake at all. I don’t think you can find 100 real friends in just 20-something years of living on this earth. If you have, then congratulations. But for people like me, having fewer friends is definitely much better.
13. You Need To Cook For Survival
Yeah right. I don’t know how to cook anything other than hot dogs, bacon, and rice, and I’m still alive. Funny how that works. And I know tons of people who can’t even boil water but guess what? They’re still alive. This is definitely total BS. Don’t believe the people who will say you won’t reach adulthood if you don’t know how to cook. I can’t tell you how much this so-called good advice haunted me and for how long. I was so close to taking cooking classes because I thought “I’m not going to survive much longer if I keep eating in restaurants and ordering take-out all the time.” Well, let me tell you that is not going to happen. Because in adulthood, your gal pals will teach you how to use the stove. They will teach you which instant stuff and canned stuff will help you get to tomorrow. So yeah, this survival by cooking thing is a total lie.
12. It’s Good When People Pay Attention To You
Um no, it’s really not. What about catcalling? Is catcalling good? Definitely not. What about if you’re super rich and people are only friendly because they know you have money? Or what if people are only nice to you because you’re the boss of them? So if you think that you need people to pay tons of attention to you, then you need to stop and stop right now. You’re buying into this whole thing and it’s not a good idea. Sure, it’s good if people will notice you. It’s okay if people say you’re pretty or compliment your hair or suggest that you need to get to the gym more often. But it’s not good if these things happen 24/7. It’s annoying if people are being friendly if they know you’re rich or something. And even when they don’t, they’re probably being friendly because they want something in return. Or maybe they’re not really being friendly at all. Maybe they’re toying with you. Please. Stop this.
11. College Is A Must
Seriously, college is overrated. I’m not saying that every young person needs to skip the whole college thing. But if you can’t afford to go to school or if you’re unsure about what to study, then why not explore instead? Try something else. Build your own company. Start a blog and after a year or two, you can probably monetize it. Consider moving to another place where you won’t have to spend much money. I know this is insane. Most people think skipping college is insane. I used to think that way too, believe me. I used to think I’m a big failure because life happened and I wasn’t able to take my dream program. But apparently, life happens because it has something better in store for you. So skip the drama, okay? No college degree, no problem. Ignore the people who tell you that you’re making a mistake or the wrong decision.
10. Everyone Wants To Be Rich
I wish it was this easy. I wish everybody would focus on their own thing, their own life, and their own effort to be rich. But that’s really not the case. People today are probably the most complicated kind of people. It sucks to know that we live in a society where people seem to have mastered the art of crab mentality. They don’t just want to be rich, they want to be rich and pull everybody else down. I don’t know if I’m some kind of a magnet but I’m pretty sure this universe is not as easy as “strive for richness and that’s it.” It involves a whole lot more. And if you don’t know how to deal with these kinds of people, I’m sorry to break it to you but you will have to learn how to do that soon. Because surviving this universe involves dealing with lots of crabs. Well, at least now you know and you can handle them.
9. You Should Trust Everyone
Society believes that if you have trust issues, your life is going to totally suck. Yeah right. That’s not actually the case at all. I remember back when I was The Queen Of Naive, I was often told that until I opened up and learned to trust the people around me, I wouldn’t be able to live a good life. Well guess what? I have a pretty endless list of trust issues and yet my life is just great. Sometimes, my trust issues are my fault and other times, it’s honestly the other people. But either way, it’s not a good idea to trust every single person that you meet. Trust should be earned. Don’t you agree? Sure, there are some times when you should forget your doubts and learn to trust because otherwise, you never let anyone in and that’s not good either. But there are a lot of times when you should listen to your gut instincts and don’t trust that old friend who you know is totally lying to you.
8. Your Friends Are Your Sisters
I’m pretty sure this is trash. Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of friends that are women and totally amazing people. But I can tell you that there are some women who do not know how to be sisters. Some girls are more like gossip queens than sisters, and you don’t really want that, do you? No, of course not. You totally know what I’m talking about. So your friends aren’t like sisters. Okay, okay, it depends on the type of friends that you have. If you’re lucky, you have tons of amazing girlfriends who are willing to answer the phone when you call them crying at two a.m. as the popular saying goes. They’re always there for you when it counts and they are the very definition of loyalty. But sometimes, girls are more focused on gossiping about who much others have messed up and failed. And those are not the sisters that this universe once told you about.
7. Planning Is Everything
Planning sucks. Have you ever had the experience where you spend days and weeks planning for something and no matter how much you planned, the thing still ended failing or totally sucking? None of your plans worked and you didn’t get it. Yup. That happens a lot. Sorry but planning is really not everything. Sometimes it’s not even a good idea at all. I know, I sound kind of crazy but honestly, throw planning out the window and you’re going to be so much happier. Instead of planning, just do the thing. Do whatever you want and don’t think about it for a second. Two things will happen here: you’ll have fun regardless of the process because it’s packed with surprises and you will have saved lots of time. Sometimes, you just gotta forget the planning thing and just take a risk. This may seem strange at first but soon you’ll totally lose this sense of freedom.
6. Respect Is For Those Who Do Great Things
Sorry but it takes a lot of hard work to earn people’s respect. In the type of world that we live in, respect is not given to those who do get things. Well, not really. Sure, there are tons of people who spend their lives doing awesome things, but they still end up without much disrespect. That’s unfortunately the world that we live in. Respect is kind of rare these days and too often, the wrong people get the respect that you actually deserve. You’ve probably seen that, right? Sure, your family and friends love you and respect you. But it’s really hard to get respect from other people that aren’t actually related to you or already in your life. Yes, even if you do great things. This world is full of really mean people who would rather be super jealous of your accomplishments instead of respecting you and throwing you praise that you deserve. Sometimes it’s better to not expect too much in case you get disappointed.
5. No One Cares About Bad Social Media Photos
I used to think this way. To be honest, I still do. Because it’s my Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram account and it’s none of my business what other people think. But the idea that people don’t care about your bad and unflattering social media photos? Yeah, that’s a total and complete lie. This is what adults feed their kids because they want them to grow up confident and with high self-esteem. Yeah, that’s a noble goal, but honestly, parents need to stop with this. It’s BS and it doesn’t help you get through life. Not at all. In fact, parents need to share with their kids that people are going to say negative things if you look bad in photos. That’s honestly just a sad and annoying reality of this world. After all, you totally judge people who take bad photos, don’t you? You don’t even mean to and yet this always ends up happening.
4. If You Wait, Your Life Will Change
Nope. Your life won’t just magically change because you dream that it will. Things will change if you hustle, work hard, and build your life. Sometimes it’s not easy to change your life. Okay, most of the time it’s really, really hard. I’m not saying that it’s impossible because it’s not but you can probably already tell that if you want to make something happen in your life, you have to get off your butt and do it yourself. Do you really think that change will come knocking on your door? If you do, you need to stop that ASAP. Today, if you’re unhappy with what’s going on and if you want something to change, you have to go get it. You have to work hard too so don’t think that it’s going to be a piece of cake. Spend less time waiting on your comfy couch and more time finding means and ways to make your dream happen. Because it will happen if you make it.
3. Rejection Means You Should Change What You Want
This is the main reason why I keep on jumping from one project to another. If I get even one rejection, I see it as a total sign that I should move on. I know, I have a crappy POV sometimes. The thing is that rejection is not really as bad as you think. It’s kind of crazy that this idea that rejection means that you should move on is so popular. I’m still in the process of erasing this perspective but at least I know that I need to change. Sometimes, rejection is just a small bump along your road to success and you ned to realize that. You shouldn’t freak out when things start going wrong because it just means that you need to stay the course. Rejection often means that instead of giving up entirely, you just need to work even harder. It will honestly pay off. If you don’t think so, then just try it and you will be a believer.
2. You Have All The Time In The World
I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve been told this. Seriously, left and right, when people see me hustling my way to tomorrow, they tell me to slow down. Or to pause. They tell me to not worry about it so much because I’m young and I have all the time in the world. Well, what if I die tomorrow? Do you think I still have all the time in the world? I don’t think that working all the time is a problem and if you love your career, you probably don’t think so, either. It means I love what I do so much that I honestly don’t even see it as work… which is supposed to be the entire point. Regardless of your way of living, please know that you don’t have all the time in the world. So you either sit around or do some rad things and make your life extraordinary. It’s your choice but don’t believe that you have too much time because you don’t.
1. Love Makes The World Go Round
Ha. I wish this was true. I wish that only love mattered in life and absolutely nothing else. I would love it that if we would just love one another, then everything would be okay. Oh my gosh, stop being so delusional, okay? Love doesn’t make the world go round and love is not the answer to all of your problems. Stop thinking this way because the more that you do, the more painful your life is going to be. Sure, we all want to believe that if we just love each other, if we’re kind human beings, then everything will be okay. But it might not. Because life is a mix of the good and the bad and you need both of those things to have a full life. Sometimes, life sucks a lot. Other times, love is enough to get us through the day. But it’s not healthy to think love will always save us because it won’t. I’m not being evil here. I’m being practical and true and honest. And this is the bitter reality we should all be familiar with. So this, along with the other things on this list? Total BS. Just keeping it real over here.