The old question of “Should I or shouldn’t I?” becomes even more complex by a series of questions and thoughts he has about you and your roll in the hay. Guys are equally inquisitive, insecure, and confused by intimate encounters – perhaps even more so than we are, at times. While the connection between men and getting it on might seem so straight forward, it’s actually not. Sure, men are known to be Casanovas, conquistadors, players, dogs, and pigs, but there are several who do not fit these stereotypes. There are some men who can be introspective. Believe it or not, some of them quest the emotional implications of intimacy, too. Heck, even those guys that usually after one thing think about these things from time to time. Yes, men have feelings, too, ladies. We mustn’t forget that. We shouldn’t regard as if they don’t have a mind of their own, even though it seems like that most of the time, doesn’t it? Well, in this article, let’s have a glimpse of what goes on in a man’s head after he’s spent the night with a woman. Read on and you’ll be surprised to discover that they’ve probably wondered the same things we do.
15. “I might love her”
After sleeping with a woman, there are some men that would wonder whether he loves his bed partner or not. You’re probably thinking this is farfetched, but is it really? While nookie is indeed a physical act, but a lot of chemicals are also released before, during, and afterwards. Among these are endorphins and pheromones, a combination which triggers an elated sense of self. Because of these emotions, it’s really not that hard to believe that some men would consider if they are in love or not. Surely you’ve had similar thoughts after spending a night with a guy, right? So it’s really not that surprising for guys to wonder about the same thing. Besides, they have feelings, too, you know. And some of them are super romantic. Now, asking to marry you might be a bit of a stretch, especially after your first night together, but there is still a chance that he would develop feelings for you afterwards. If you think about it, it’s rather sweet that some men think that way after spending time with a woman, even if that time was spent in bed. Who knows? Maybe he does love you. But to be safe, wait a few days or weeks before you hop on the love boat. It’s important to return to calmer waters first in order to make sound judgments regarding your relationship.
14. ” I wonder how my face looked?”
How many times have you wondered what you looked like during nookie? Several times, right? And for that reason, there are naughty tapes circulating on the internet. We’re curious creatures. Men are no different, ladies. If you’ve even been with a guy in a room with a mirror, best believe that he’ll be checking himself out a lot more than you. It’s human nature to want to know what we look like in all sorts of situations, but especially one as intimate and vulnerable as the act. Don’t be turned off by a guy who’s admiring himself in the mirror while he tries to give you his best version of love. Enjoy the fact that he’s as self-conscious as you are.
Besides wondering how he looks while doing it, he’s also dying to know if he gave you a good or strange orgasmic face. You know exactly what I’m talking about. Sometimes it’s hard to be in the moment while simultaneously keeping your composure or keeping yourself attractive as possible. Doesn’t this sound vaguely like something all women think about during and after?
13. “Hmm, is she seeing anyone right now?”
Ok, so maybe you went on a few dates with him and texted back at a decent, respectable time, which are all signs that you seem to be single (or at least looking for a hook-up). Whatever the case, he might still wonder if you’re already taken. Before you, ladies, jump to conclusions, this does not mean that he’s considered being your man, although that could be the case. What he’s really looking out for is to save his behind from some potential damage, both the emotional and physical kind. No guy wants to get involved with a girl who has a boyfriend because that could involve fist fights or broken hearts, neither of which anyone, female or male, would want. If you brought him home, he’s wondering if at any moment someone might bust through the door and claim you as theirs while starting a fight with him. This seems like something out of the movies, but remember, much of what you see on the screen were based on real life. Albeit many stories are exaggerated, but the point is those stories have slivers of truth to them. On the other side of the coin, he might be wondering if you’re already taken because he has strong feelings for you. Maybe he is wondering if he should cut the ties now before getting in too deep.
12. “How can I do it better next time (if there’s a next time)?”
Guys are competitive. They want to be the best at anything and everything they do. Ok, not all men, but like 99% of them are competitive. It’s in their blood. It’s how they’ve survived generation after generation. Men must compete in order to stay alive, but also in order to make sure their genes are passed onto the next generation. Men want to know they are good at what they do. If they have the slightest inkling they weren’t doing their best, they’ll want to do it over again to prove themselves. Well, ladies, the same goes for nookie. If he feels like he didn’t give his best, he’ll want another shot. In many cases, he won’t be shy to tell you this or, at the very least, give you hints. Listen to what he says about his performance or how he reacts to your responses. If he’s fishing, he’s doubting his ability and already scheming on how to up his bedroom game for the next time. Should you be so inclined to offer him that second chance, don’t have high expectations. He’s building something up and in doing so, there are bound to be some let downs.
11. “How can I text her?”
Perhaps you two were totally digging each other for quite some time, and getting intimate was what you both saw as the next step in your relationship. You let things evolve naturally. And while that’s lovely and seems super mature, now that you two have been intimate, the hard part is figuring out what to do next. He’d probably wonder how to text you, interact with you, and show interest yet still play it cool. Guys have so many rules to follow and relationship etiquette can feel much more contrived than some of the rules woman are asked to follow. To be honest, it’s all too much sometimes. Once a couple is intimate, hormones begin to run the show and an act as simple as texting can feel like an immense amount of pressure and strain. He might want to know where he fits in and rather than just have that conversation, he’ll tiptoe around it for weeks and even seem cold and distant, even when he really likes you. But at least now you have an idea what men tend to think about after getting it on.
10. “Could this be her first time?”
Whether you’ve done it before or haven’t, is your business. But some guys fantasize about being with a virgin. Some of them have probably been with a virgin or two, and they’ll probably be with a few more. The reason some men seek out virgins is they somehow get this high knowing they were someone’s first. It’s almost like the more virgins they’ve been with, the more validated they feel. Plus, since virgins haven’t been with anyone else, they’re considered safe (safe in a sense that they may not have any STDs). To all the guys out there who think this, you couldn’t be more wrong. Just because a woman is no longer a virgin doesn’t mean she is a walking STD. Most of us are actually quite cautious. We buy morning after pills, consult our doctors, and, heck, stash a condom in our purse in case you fellas forget to bring one. So don’t go around thinking we’re impure just because we’ve had some experience.
9. “Was I the best she’s EVER had?”
Even if it’s clear that the act you both just had was not so great, he’ll try to convince himself that it was. Otherwise, he’d walk around in shame all day, every day for the rest of their lives. Not all guys perform that well in the bedroom. Sure they have their great moments, but more often than not, they miss the mark – big time. And that’s cool. Contrary to what movies depict, sex isn’t great all the time. In fact, sex is usually quite awkward. Most times, we don’t talk about how bad or awkward it was. We deny how bad it was by brushing it under the rug and hiding it behind the curtains. But even though we don’t talk about it, guys are constantly thinking about it. They have to convince themselves that they were the best you ever had. If they don’t, how could they turn a blunder into gold so that they could go after you again or pursue the next one? It’s all about ego here.
8. “I can now have her anytime I want!”
Because you’ve slept with him once, that entitles him to sleep with you again. Or at least that’s what he might think. And that’s where he’d be wrong. Just because he’s had you once, doesn’t mean he can have you again. He thinks the hard part of convincing you to sleep with him is over and from here on out, it’s smooth sailing. Wrong, so very, very wrong. He doesn’t realize that the hard part is deciding on whether to give him another shot in the sack. A woman who sleeps with a man once is in no way, shape, or form obligated to sleep with him again. Experimenting is a part of life, and it probably hasn’t occurred to him that he might have been an experiment. Men have a hard time understanding this concept. Perhaps it’s because it doesn’t feel natural for them to consider that women can test the waters just as much as men can. The bottom line is just because he got in there once does not mean a second chance is in the cards. Let him know what’s up.
7. “Is there anything to eat?”
Ah, yes. The classic hunger pangs after a passionate night. Don’t be surprised if during the entire session, regardless of how long it lasted, food was on his mind. Men are like dogs. They sense when food is around and they want some even if they could only get a little nibble. Maybe he had a long day and didn’t have time for lunch or dinner. Maybe he had a really hard workout at the gym. Or maybe it’s all of the above. Who knows? Nevertheless, it’s not that surprising he’d get hungry after sex. After all, the act burns calories and is considered, by some, to be a workout. So depending on how hard he went with you, he might need to replenish his fuel system. He’s wondering what you have in the kitchen, if you cook, are there leftovers in the fridge, do you have any take-out menus in your place, and if his pizza place delivers all the way out to where you live. He’s wondering if you’re hungry, too. He’s praying you’re hungry and you’re about to ask him if he is, too.
6. “Ahh to cuddle or to leave”
It’s pretty standard to wonder about the protocol after sex. But for some men, they become so foggy after sex that their minds and mouths play tricks on them. They start to drive themselves crazy. Should he stay or should he go? And so much depends on that decision alone. It can make or break the connection you have or you plan on building. It can dampen a fire you might have built between you. But keep in mind, ladies, his reason for leaving might not have anything to do with you. Maybe he has an early meeting, maybe he’s got some unfinished business, or maybe he just wants to be in his own space, alone. If he cuddles, you’d better believe that he contemplated that decision, too. For post-sex cuddling bonds couples together. Either way, he’s spinning. He’s wondering what the best option for him and for you is. And he’s driving himself and you crazy because that sort of energy is tangible, especially just after sex.
5. “Round Two?”
Even if he just sweated all over you, or it took him forever to reach climax, or perhaps not too long, he’d most likely debate whether to have round two with you. While that might seem crazy to you, it’s not to him. He figures he’s already found a bit of luck and he’s going to use it to his full advantage. Can you blame him? It’s not easy for guys to land a babe like you. And he’s aware of that, so he’s not taking any chances. He’s also considering round two to up his sex game, show you what’s he’s got, and try to please you (if he didn’t do so in round one). With that thought, you should consider it yourself. Come on. Y’all are already naked and in the prime position and place to make it happen twice. Guys are more likely to go for round two if given a break. It’s very rare that a man can go into round two immediately. But he’d definitely want to give it another go because a man isn’t a man if he turns down sex when sex is presented to him. That’s what some believe anyways.
4. “She’s out of my league” or “I’m out of her league”
Despite the fact that you’re lying next to him, he’s probably thinking that you’re out of his league. He’s wondering how good his karma must be in order to have such a goddess by his side. And he’d be absolutely right. The sad part of about this is that he’s not confident in himself, despite all of his amazing qualities that got him by your side in the first place. Perhaps his ego is a little deflated. In addition, this also shows that he adores you, which could be both positive and negative. On the flip side, there’s also the chance that he’s an ego maniac. While lying next to you, he’s probably thinking about how much better off he is and how he’s out of your league. The mind plays tricks on all of us. These are not thoughts attributed only to men. Admit it, ladies. You also had similar, crazy thoughts about a man you’ve just bedded. Don’t deny it.
3. “How many partners has she had?”
This is the thought of a number of men who’ve been fortunate enough to explore the female body. After sleeping with you, they’d wonder how many other people you’ve slept with. According to statistics, it’s estimated that whatever number a man gives, just subtract it by 10 or divide by 2 and that’s the total number of women they’ve slept with. As for women, just add 10 or multiply by 2. How funny is that, right? There are certain stigmas attached to female and male sexuality and promiscuity. Clearly, unfair anyway it’s analyzed. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s wondering if you’ve slept with more or less people than he has, as if that determines something. It determines nothing. The number is just a number and a higher number doesn’t mean more experience. In some cases, a higher number means a lack of judgment and discernment, a lack of control, a sexually liberated person, or an experimental phase. It never means one thing, so keep it real.
2. “That was easy”
If you two had a one-night stand, no doubt he’d think you’re an easy lay. And he’s glad you’re easy in that case. But if you’re dating, no matter how much time you wait, of course within reason, he’d think that you’ve given it up a little too early. As if. If it feels right to her, she’ll do it. So there is no right or wrong time. And if a woman does give it up early, so what. Men do it all the time. Men need to stop being so crazy with their double standards, take a look in the mirror, then evaluate what society or religion have sold him in order to make him superior over women. If you are easy, big deal. Do whatever suits you, girl. However, don’t ever forget that he’s judging you. But don’t let that bother you one bit. Let it flow like water off your back. Because even if he does think you’re easy, he still wanted you in the first place. And let him bounce. That way, he’d never have the opportunity to be with your fine, easy a$$ again.
1. “What did she think of my body?”
Men are sometimes more insecure than women. Of course, society won’t tell us that and men won’t outright admit it. That would destroy the image of the macho, tough guy, and that would deflate male ego. The truth is men are probably more concerned about how their body looks than we do. Why? Women’s bodies, in all shapes, sizes, and colors, are gorgeous. Not only do men know this, but so do women. The female body is a many splendored thing. But that doesn’t make woman any less insecure. Capitalism and the beauty industry do a pretty ugly number on our self-worth. The same concept applies to men. They are taught to be strong, to have muscles, to be chiseled, and to be a sex god. You see, they’ve got a tough road ahead of them, too. Women are not the only ones who are conscious about their body shape and performance during a sexual encounter. Men, if anything, are more concerned, because often times they’re doing a lot of the work. He’s wondering if he’s the best or worst partner you’ve ever been with. In truth, you are wondering the same thing.